veneno Gu - Capítulo 10
Teacher Hao said:
"Isn't it good that you're given a holiday? Why are you crying? Do you think I gave you this holiday? The principal said you're getting a holiday!"
Mouse slowly pulled his schoolbag from the desk and walked out. He felt the eyes of the entire class piercing his back like needles, and the gazes of White Dove and the others burning like fire. When he could no longer feel it in his back, he didn't know where to go or what to do. Staying in class made him unhappy, but leaving felt like being thrown out of a car, unwanted by anyone. He didn't understand why Teacher Hao hated him so much. He had never spoken ill of her in his heart. He was afraid adults would see him skipping class; being kicked out of the class meant he was a bad student, and he was afraid people would know he was a bad student. Staying in the schoolyard, he was afraid his classmates would laugh at him after class; leaving the schoolyard, he was afraid adults would see him.
He didn't dare go home, didn't dare tell his mother that he was a bad student because his class didn't want him anymore, and that his mother would definitely be angry.
There's a saying that in a family where the yin (female) element is dominant and the yang element is weak—meaning the woman manages both the home and the outside world while the man is less involved—the girls raised in such families tend to be assertive and capable, just like their mothers. However, the boys from these families often grow up to be timid, cowardly, and hesitant to take the lead. Unfortunately, people back then were too busy to care about or concern themselves with this.
"Attention all teachers and students! Attention all teachers and students! Important announcement is now being broadcast. Today, leaders from another school are visiting our school to observe teaching. This is an honor and a source of pride for our key high school. We must be fully prepared. When the guests arrive, students must observe discipline, walk on the right, greet the guests politely, and answer questions enthusiastically and correctly, demonstrating the spirit of our key high school. If any student dares to violate discipline and bring shame to the school, we will publicly criticize that student at the school assembly and deduct 10 points from their conduct score..."
The loudspeaker broadcast repeatedly, making the boy, Haozi, tremble with fear, too afraid to stay in the yard. He searched around with his schoolbag, finally finding the back of the classroom. Back then, school classrooms were all single-story buildings, without fans or air conditioning; in the summer, the windows had to be open during class. So Haozi sat near the window close to the blackboard, able to hear Teacher Hao's arithmetic lesson. He strained his ears, afraid of missing a single word. He listened with rapt attention, never before having listened so attentively and comfortably.
Teacher Hao said, "You must listen carefully to this lesson. I will give you a test the day after tomorrow, and whoever fails will be demoted. I will go through the lesson with you now, and I will teach it again during the fourth period when I observe teaching. When I ask you questions, you must raise your hands. If you know the answer, raise your hand higher. If you don't know the answer, don't be afraid. Raise your hand lower, and I won't call on you."
Hearing what Teacher Hao said, Haozi took every word she said to heart.
The second period was Chinese class. Teacher Yang pointed to Haozi's empty desk and asked, "I saw him come to school this morning. What's wrong with him? Is he sick or is something wrong at home?"
The class representative for Chinese said that he was daydreaming in class, so in order not to affect the teaching observation, Teacher Hao gave him a day off.
Teacher Yang said:
"Education should be provided to all without discrimination. I didn't give him a break. Tell him that he has to come to my class next time."
The boy, Haozi, didn't understand what Teacher Yang meant by "education for all," but he understood what Teacher Yang said next. He couldn't help but secretly cry, not daring to make a sound.
"Chinese language, Chinese language, cannot be separated from language, and it cannot be separated from fables. Before we formally begin the lesson, I'll tell you a fable. Don't worry if you don't understand it now; you might understand it later. It goes like this: There was a tiny insect by the water's edge. Sensing danger, it suddenly flew away. A frog had been waiting behind it for a long time, and its tongue shot out like a gun, killing the insect instantly. A snake spotted the frog and chased after it, making the frog its lunch. An eagle was circling high in the sky when it swooped down and grabbed the snake. The snake refused to die a silent death and struggled desperately, eventually breaking free of the eagle's talons and drifting gracefully down from the sky." Come on, it fell right onto the two high-voltage lines, instantly short-circuiting them and sending sparks flying. A few sparks landed on the dry, withered grass, which instantly burst into lively flames. These flames then ignited countless others, which in turn fueled a raging fire across the grasslands and forests. The fire burned for days and nights, destroying countless houses, killing countless livestock, and consuming countless men, women, and children. Although it could have continued burning, even reaching our classroom, reaching right next to us, if that were the case, the story would be too long. I'd have to tell it for half my life, and you'd all grow beards listening to it.”
The whole class burst into laughter.
The boy, Mouse, swallowed every word like it was cake, but he didn't chew a single one properly. He laughed because he imagined his female classmates growing whiskers from hearing it. By the time he stood up from under the window, he had completely forgotten the story. Until one day, as he was walking, he vaguely remembered the story, but before he could even understand it, the whole world vanished from his sight with a bang.
The boy was laughing when he saw Teacher Yang stick her head out of the window and say, "Good lad! Come back here! Your Chinese is still pretty good, one of the best in the class! Everyone, give him a round of applause!" The whole class really applauded him, and he was about to step over the threshold into the classroom when Teacher Hao arrived and blocked the doorway, preventing him from entering. He was so angry he gritted his teeth and rammed his head into Teacher Hao's stomach, leaving it raw and bleeding profusely. She sat down on the floor, unable to get up. Suddenly, she meowed and grabbed his hand, startling him awake. A little tabby cat was sitting in his lap, meowing.
He stroked the kitten, feeling that they were both equally pitiful, unwanted by anyone. The kitten looked at his face and meowed pitifully at him.
Teacher Hao gave him a day off the next day.
On the third day, Teacher Hao said to him:
"If you fail my arithmetic test today, you're fired! Don't say I didn't warn you."
As a result of the exam, only one person in the whole class failed.
Someone whispered that it was a girl, the most formidable girl in the class, the kind of girl even Teacher Hao was afraid of.
They also said that Teacher Hao stared blankly at Haozi's test paper, wondering how he could pass when he hadn't been paying attention in class.
When get out of class ended, the mouse immediately ran to the back of the classroom to call the kitten and fed it the dry food he had brought. The kitten, having eaten its fill, nestled in his arms and meowed at him.
At that moment, an accident occurred at the school.
Several boys were scrambling to play on the parallel bars when one of the bars suddenly slipped off the metal post, breaking one boy's arm. If it had been another boy's arm, it wouldn't have been such a big deal. But this boy's father was no ordinary person. The school had barely taken the boy with the broken arm to the hospital when several police officers arrived. The school immediately rang the bell to start class, so as not to interfere with the police officers' work.
Several police officers inspected the parallel bars and took photos of them, which took a long time.
"Attention all teachers and students! Attention all teachers and students! Important announcement is being broadcast now. The accident that occurred at our school this morning was a premeditated act of sabotage. Police investigation has determined that the screws on the wooden bar and iron pillar were intentionally loosened, leaving only a sliver of connection. This is clearly deliberate sabotage with political motives, a blatant attempt to undermine our school's positive situation, and the work of malicious individuals who hate us. The school calls upon all teachers and students to immediately take action, expose and report any suspicious persons and events, resolutely fight against bad people and deeds, and safeguard the positive situation and educational achievements of our key middle school! Any student who successfully exposes such incidents will be publicly commended at a school-wide assembly and awarded 20 points for good conduct..."
The loudspeaker broadcast the message repeatedly, making all the teachers and students in the school eager to expose the bad elements.
The boy, Mouse, was exposed by ten people twelve times.
First, his homeroom teacher, Ms. Hao, talked to him, asking him to admit that he had done something wrong. She told him, "Confess and you'll be treated leniently; resist and you'll be punished severely." She said that as long as he honestly admitted it, he could come to class every day. Haozi also felt that he was the kind of person who had done such a bad thing, but he didn't say anything and just lowered his head and shed tears.
Later, the principal spoke to him personally. The principal forcibly pulled his hand and pressed him onto a stool, asking him to sit down. He refused to sit down, keeping his hands on his trousers and standing straight in front of the principal.
The principal said that a true hero takes responsibility for his actions, and a good student must be honest. Honesty means not lying, and not lying means admitting that you did it.
He kept his head down, neither speaking nor crying.
After they finished talking, the mouse hid at the back of the classroom and sat under the window, sobbing. The kitten saw him, ran over, and jumped into his arms. He immediately stood up, gently placed it on the ground, and then kicked it several meters away, so that it never came back.
He felt he had finally gotten his revenge.
Many students across the school were called in for talks like him, but in the end, the vandal was never caught. Just as the accusations and talks were in full swing, students arriving for self-study early one morning discovered two smears of golden excrement on the school sign at the main gate, stinking horribly. A few days later, students found another puddle of golden excrement on the basketball court. The school's loudspeakers broadcast important notices repeatedly every day, urging everyone to bravely expose bad people and bad deeds.
Seeing them anxious, angry, and frustrated gave him a great sense of satisfaction, a satisfaction he had never felt before. He even laughed out loud in his dreams at night. Letting them experience what's what, letting them hop on the threshold like toads, getting their bottoms slapped and their faces bumped, was quite amusing.
Every time get out of class ended, Mouse would run to the back of the classroom to play with the kitten. He would feed it, hug and pet it, and sometimes even kiss it. He considered it his best friend. Sometimes, he would rather go without food himself than not secretly give it to the kitten.
He liked the little tabby cat, and the little tabby cat liked him too. Every time he saw it, he wanted to feed it and pet it.
The more he liked it, the more he wanted to pinch it, squeeze it, slap it, and kick it.
When he held it in his arms, he wanted to find a thin, sturdy tree branch and whip it hard, whipping it until it screamed for its life. He thought that sound would be very pleasant, very satisfying, and very cathartic.
He chased after it with all his might and lashed it. With each lash, he heard a howl, and felt a surge of pleasure, excitement, and revenge. At first, catching it took him some effort, but as he lashed it more and more, it ran slower and slower. When it was crippled, it ran even slower, making it easier for him to lash it.
Every time he saw his kitten getting thinner, he couldn't help but cry. Then he would beat it even harder until it couldn't move. He would find some mercurochrome, apply it to its wounds with tears streaming down his face, and wait for it to recover, wait for it to be able to run again, so he could chase after it and beat it again. Sometimes he even thought it would be fun to make it run on three legs, but he could never decide whether to make it lose a front leg or a hind leg.
This was his only source of enjoyment at school.
He loved the darkness of the school after school. In the darkness, there were no teachers or bad classmates he hated, no one called him "mouse," and no one dared to bully or insult him. In the darkness, he was the commander, he was the king, and everything was up to him. He was free and could sit on the classroom doorstep and daydream, or do whatever strange things that suddenly came to mind.
Darkness sheltered him, darkness protected him, darkness gave him freedom, joy, and vitality, darkness also gave him courage and strength.
He often left himself in the darkness after school.
Having no friends at school and nothing fun to do, Mouse would go out alone during the day to find something interesting. He discovered a spot on the muddy road north of the school, where on sunny days, large butterflies, with their large, bluish-black wings speckled with silver-green spots and shimmering like satin, would land on the mud. They were as big as an adult's palm, and when they landed on the ground, they looked like rows of open flowers, fluttering their wings.