"Then why are you thinking so much? Getting married?! Don't make me laugh!" Li Yueling's tone unconsciously turned sour.
Song Jing earnestly retorted, "It has nothing to do with age."
"What?"
"I like it." Song Jing's answer was a live demonstration of "resolute determination."
Li Yueling was completely speechless this time.
"Ah Jing. You take things too seriously, you're too strict with people, and even more so with yourself. I know you like Ouyang Xiao, and I won't say anything, nor will I object or do anything to hurt you. But Ah Jing, do you know how painful and difficult it is to decide on the future right now? Ah Jing, I consider you a friend, not like those other friends who suddenly stop talking after a fight and then make up again. I cherish you, and I don't want... I don't want you to get hurt, because you are so good!"
Song Jing looked at Li Yueling, blinked hard, and said softly, "I know."
Li Yueling sighed and reached out to grasp Song Jing's slightly cold hand: "I will be by your side to support you. If things... I will persuade you to give up."
Song Jing said, "Okay."
But in her heart, she asked herself, after three weeks of struggle, she knew clearly that giving up was no longer possible, absolutely impossible.
What exactly happened between ten-year-old Song Jing and eleven-year-old Ouyang Xiao in less than six months? Song Jing asked herself these questions during those three weeks. She couldn't be willful or have wild thoughts; she had to think about her family and work hard for the future, but she couldn't control her thoughts.
She remembered the adorable boy with the baby face, tilting his head and giving her an expectant, admiring, and encouraging smile. His eyes were big, round, and bright, as if they had gathered all the stars in the sky. The stars belonged to her; whenever she turned her head towards him, she could see his warm smile, his eyes curving at the corners, clearly carrying a hint of mischief. They didn't speak, communicating only through their eyes.
"you're good!"
"Of course, you're not bad either!"
Then came a knowing smile, their eyes sparkling, their small faces brimming with pride and self-satisfaction, as if the whole world lay at their feet. Their world existed in that instant when their eyes met, and then became eternal. Li Yueling said, "Song Jing, you and Ouyang Xiao are so strange! Why do you always notice each other so immediately?" At that time, Li Yueling didn't know that Song Jing liked Ouyang Xiao. She naively thought that, as Song Jing said, Song Jing wanted to catch up with and surpass that small, cute boy.
Song Jing just smiled and said, "Xiaoyue, it's nothing, just a subconscious action."
Li Yueling gave a long "oh," seemingly unconcerned.
Another time, around the end of October, the school conducted a physical examination. The examination was actually quite basic, just a simple check of height and weight, but they still brought in a doctor from the township, and the students lined up in long queues. Song Jing remembers that time particularly vividly because it was the first time Ouyang Xiao had shown such strong dissatisfaction and become so defiant.
"Song Jing, how tall are you?" Ouyang Xiao, the third person in line behind Song Jing, shouted at Song Jing as soon as he stepped down. He really meant it, his face flushed red, and he was quite angry.
"1.28 meters tall," Song Jing said obediently.
"What?" Ouyang Xiao's eyebrows and eyes furrowed.
“1.28 meters.” Song Jing repeated.
Ouyang Xiao stopped talking and left angrily. Before leaving, she said, "It's nothing. My dad said that the men in our Ouyang family only start to grow taller in junior high and high school. My dad is 1.8 meters tall, and my uncles are about the same height. There's no way I won't continue to grow taller."
Later, Song Jing learned that Ouyang Xiao was only 1.2 meters tall, the shortest in the entire Class 2, Grade 6. After laughing, Song Jing began to worry: should she only wear flat shoes in front of Ouyang Xiao from now on? Then, she puffed out her cheeks in annoyance. Since she was very young, Song Jing had dreamed of one day wearing beautiful red high heels—even if she couldn't dance, she could at least walk in them. It seemed that was just a dream.
Song Jing wasn't good at sports; she was just a fast runner. She started school early and had good grades, which naturally led to her being ostracized by those around her. If she could jump rope well or play badminton skillfully, she might have gotten along well with the other children. The truth is, besides her excellent grades, she knew nothing else, especially when it came to playing.
At first, people even called out to her, "Jing, let's play hopscotch together!"
Song Jing replied, "I don't know."
The man pulled her aside, saying, "It's okay, it's okay, you'll learn it! It's very simple."
It was simple, but Song Jing just couldn't do it. Gradually, no one came to play with her anymore. They all called her a "bookworm" behind her back, saying she only knew how to study and didn't know anything else.
When Song Jing entered sixth grade, things improved slightly because she met Li Yueling. Li Yueling didn't like playing much either; she preferred watching others play, often becoming completely absorbed in the game. Song Jing would stay by her side, occasionally glancing over, helping with counting and such, which earned her a lot of popularity.
Ouyang Xiao liked to compete in throwing stones with the boy sitting next to Song Jing. That boy had a shy smile, remained silent, and occasionally said some irrelevant things to Song Jing. That was the closest Song Jing and Ouyang Xiao ever sat together, with a boy named Su Cheng between them.
"Are you coming again today?" Su Cheng asked, rolling up his sleeves.
Ouyang Xiao looked up from her heavy homework and said, "Okay!"
Then Su Cheng turned to Song Jing and asked, "Will you help me keep track of the scores again today?"
Song Jing obediently put down her diary and sat down to the side, saying, "Okay."
Much later, Song Jing asked Su Cheng—back then, they were ordinary schoolmates, living far apart in different classes and barely exchanging a word—"You were so quiet, not at all like someone who liked to have fun, so why were you hanging out with Ouyang Xiao all the time back then?"
Su Cheng smiled slightly, shyly lowered his head to look at his toes, and then said softly, "Jing, everyone has a reason for doing things, but that reason doesn't necessarily have to be told to everyone."
Song Jing understood, but asked, "Why?"
Su Cheng smiled quietly, tilting his head slightly, his demeanor as calm as flowing water.
Song Jing also remained silent.
Some things are better left unsaid. Once spoken, the meaning changes, and a quantitative change can lead to a qualitative change, which is not good.
In short, Song Jing was absent-minded more often during those three weeks than she had in the previous ten years. She was originally a very sensitive person, but when it came to relationships, she was a complete "idiot." While recalling past events, she also observed Ouyang Xiao's behavior from time to time. In her ignorance, she only felt that Ouyang Xiao's cold indifference in cutting off all ties with her and not even bothering to look at her was really hurtful.
In the second week of those three weeks, Song Jing's performance clearly declined significantly.
Shen Jichu suddenly found Song Jing that morning.
On Monday morning, it was Song Jing's turn to clean the classroom. She cleaned the classroom, wiped the blackboard, stood silently for a while, and leaned against the window looking down. Below were students lined up neatly, and over the loudspeaker, the principal's voice was calm, kind, and authoritative.
Shen Jichu walked in: "A-Jing!"
"What is it?" Song Jing turned around, but was still standing by the window.
Shen Jichu seemed somewhat puzzled, stopping a few steps away from Song Jing: "Jing, aren't you and Ouyang Xiao's relationship quite good? Why are they all saying...bad things about you?" Her words were tactful; Shen Jichu clearly had many concerns. The things they were saying about Song Jing were very unpleasant, as if Song Jing had a one-sided love for Ouyang Xiao and had done something despicable.
Song Jing looked over, her eyes calm: "It's nothing."
"Didn't Ouyang Xiao explain to you?" Ouyang Xiao had also heard those words; he was with him in the restroom. At that moment, he subconsciously glanced back at Ouyang Xiao, his firm lips tightly pursed, as if he were thinking about something terrible.
Song Jing shook his head: "What's there to explain?"
"Your grades have dropped a lot, are you in a bad mood?"
"A little."
Shen Jichu was speechless. Song Jing stood there, indifferent, and Shen Jichu wondered if he was meddling too much. But looking at his brother Ouyang Xiao's expression, he felt that he really should do more.
"Don't pay attention to those people. Whatever they say isn't true anyway, so just let them be."
Song Jing said calmly, "Thank you. But I didn't take those things to heart. What they say and do is their own business, and it has little to do with me."
Shen Jichu's eyes widened immediately; he had indeed been meddling. He was also struck by Song Jing's seemingly lazy and gentle demeanor, as if she had no temper at all—no, she was actually like this! She wasn't exactly magnanimous, nor was she particularly open-minded or optimistic. Judging from her cold and indifferent expression, Shen Jichu knew that Song Jing's words were merely a calm statement of fact. What a terrifying person!
Song Jing seemed to be deep in thought: "Do I look...worrying?"
"It's not just worrying, many people are speculating whether you will drop out of school. You don't say a word, and you wander around like a ghost all day with a pale face. It's hard not to break out in a cold sweat for you!"
This time, Song Jing smiled sincerely: "Thank you, I'm really fine."
"Song Jing, do you think it's worth it?" Shen Jichu asked abruptly.
"What's worth it or not?"
"It's very likely that my parents will be called in, and I might even be expelled," Shen Jichu said, half-jokingly and half-seriously.
Song Jing replied, "I have the right to receive compulsory education and will not be expelled. Besides, nothing happened between me and Ouyang Xiao."
"They've already kissed, but nothing's happened yet?" Shen Jichu scoffed.
Song Jing looked around blankly, her voice trembling: "What did you say... kissing?"
Shen Jichu panicked and hurriedly waved his hand, "I didn't say anything, don't take it to heart!" With that, he rushed out. Song Jing stood alone in the shadows by the window, looking bewildered, like a lost child. What had happened? Her eyes were dark, fixed on the gray sky, radiating an inexplicable coldness.
She went out at noon, and when she came back, Song Jing found a white note on the table. The handwriting was familiar to her—bold, vigorous, and powerful: Ouyang Xiao.
In this world, life is the most important thing.
With a sigh of relief, Song Jing carefully tucked the short sentence into her diary.
In the third week's quiz, Song Jing's grades improved slightly.
The night Song Jing reconciled with Li Yueling, she had a strange dream. The dream was incredibly realistic; every movement, even the creases that appeared between her brows when she frowned, were clearly visible. Song Jing struggled to sit up, but everything was dark. Li Yueling asked groggily, "What's wrong, Jing? Do you need to go to the bathroom? Do you want me to go with you?"
Song Jing didn't answer. She clutched her wildly beating chest, took a deep breath, and lay down, thinking she wouldn't be able to sleep. But as soon as she closed her eyes, she opened them again and it was already dawn.
On Thursday morning, Song Jing was absent-minded. In the afternoon, there were two physical education classes. The air was dry, and the wind howled, bringing a winter chill. Song Jing spent the entire morning watching Ouyang Xiao, his gaze following him everywhere.
"Jing! Let's go play badminton!" Li Yueling said happily, holding a badminton racket.
Song Jing paused for a moment, then said, "Okay."
After a round of play, Li Yueling got annoyed, waving her racket and complaining loudly, "Song Jing! Are you going to show me how inattentive you are again?! You're always thinking about something or looking at something during class, and you're still the same after class. Now you're doing the same thing while playing... Do you even want to continue?!"
“Continue…” Song Jing repeated blankly.
"What did you say to me yesterday? Is doing absolutely nothing what you call hard work?!"
"No..." Song Jing wanted to explain, but when she opened her mouth, she found she didn't know how to start, and lowered her head dejectedly. "I'm sorry, I..."
At that moment, the screams of the others completely drowned out Song Jing's voice. Without warning, Song Jing's heart started pounding so hard it felt like it was about to jump out of her chest.
Li Yueling screamed, "It's Ouyang Xiao!"
Song Jing felt she no longer had the strength to stand. She clenched her fists, took a few deep breaths, but her head spun, and her vision blurred. No, it couldn't be! Her movements were stiff; her fingers, moving upwards, and her arm trembled uncontrollably. It was just a dream; it couldn't really happen!
When Song Jing finally managed to turn around, she saw that the teacher had already gone over and squatted down next to Ouyang Xiao. The distance seemed to suddenly become very far, only a few meters away, but there were so many people, and they were so close together, yet she didn't even have the courage to lift her foot and walk over.
Then came the teacher's voice: "It's okay, no bones are broken, it's just dislocated!"
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
"You guys, Shen Jichu, Li Yong, and Su Cheng, also lend a hand and take him to the township hospital to have Doctor Liu set his joint!"
The boys who were called out quickly helped Ouyang Xiao up and headed down the mountain.
Li Yueling tugged at Song Jing's hand. Song Jing was still in a daze, shocked, blaming herself and in disbelief. When Li Yueling pulled her, Song Jing looked at her pale face, then suddenly grabbed her hand tightly and asked in a panic, "He...he...will he be alright?" Her heart ached so much, like it was being squeezed and then violently thrown down. It hurt so much.
Li Yueling patted Song Jing's hand reassuringly, "Didn't you hear what the teacher said? It's just a dislocation, nothing serious."
“But…” Song Jing bit her lower lip, which turned an unhealthy white. She frowned as if trying to endure the pain, then released her teeth, leaving deep teeth marks. She looked up, her expression blank, at the cement road leading out of the school, and whispered, “But… he was in so much pain his face turned white…”
"Go see him." After a long silence, Li Yueling's calm voice rang out.
Township hospitals.
The white building was filled with the smell of disinfectant, and tall, lush camphor trees grew vigorously in front of it. Every now and then, nurses in white uniforms would pass through the corridor, the clinking of bottles and jars echoing through the air.
The third room from left to right on the first floor.
When Song Jing's classmates, who had been waiting in the ward, saw her walk in, they first gave an ambiguous "oh," and then tactfully stepped aside, leaving space for this couple who were making a big fuss but who usually showed no signs of anything amiss and never even spoke to each other in the classroom...
Ouyang Xiao's expression remained calm from the moment she entered the room, a cold and expressionless demeanor.
Looking at Ouyang Xiao sitting by the window, Song Jing felt the suffocating feeling in her chest return. She pressed her hand to it and walked to a chair beside her to sit down. Outside, there was a large dove tree, its leaves almost all fallen, but fortunately, the bright sunshine had greatly reduced the smell of the hospital inside.
The two people sat there, speechless.
“Do you know?” Song Jing broke the silence first, “I dreamed about you last night…” Song Jing turned to look at the sky outside the window, her head tilted back.