"Fine! If you're not a pretty girl, I'll beat you up!"
"OK!"
The next day at six o'clock in the afternoon, Xu Chun, wearing a white down jacket, black leggings, and beige boots, stood anxiously waiting at the east gate of University A, checking her watch repeatedly. She muttered, "Where did that damned Xiao Qiqi go?" Even in anger, her beautiful lips were captivating. Chen Yuanxing stood at a distance, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. Was she really a stunning beauty?
That evening, the loach said smugly, "Hey, why didn't you come? I've been waiting for you for ages."
Wind God: "...If you've got the guts, come out here!"
Xiao Qiqi burst out laughing.
Chen Yuanxing approached the white-clad fairy with great interest and asked very politely, "Excuse me, are you a loach?"
Xu Chun widened her incredibly charming and beautiful eyes, frowned, and squeezed out two words through gritted teeth, "Crazy!" Then she gracefully left, leaving Chen Yuanxing with a bewildered expression and someone else hiding in the woods bursting into laughter.
XIV. First Love
With winter break approaching, Xiao Qiqi packed her bags and prepared to head north. Her carefree days were over; the intense job market was the biggest challenge for every graduating student. This semester, everyone was gripped by a nameless anxiety. Job fairs, big and small, in every major and minor city were overflowing with applicants. Xiao Qiqi was no exception, but unlike most of her classmates who stayed in the Jiangnan region and headed south, she chose to go north. Perhaps it was simply because she loved the rich, ancient charm of the region.
The quiet lakeside was devoid of its desolate chill, replaced by a gentle warmth. Xiao Qiqi sat beside Xia Xuan, and the two remained silent for a long time.
Since his mother passed away, Xia Xuan always had a faint melancholy between his brows. Xiao Qiqi turned her head to look at him, "...Is something on your mind?"
"Hmm." Xia Xuan continued to gaze at the rippling lake surface. "Are you really going to BeiX City?"
"Yes, I've always wanted to go there. Back when I took the college entrance exam, sigh, I was just one point short."
"...After I graduate, I might go to the United States."
He's going to study abroad? Xiao Qiqi's heart tightened, but she quickly smiled and said, "With your grades, you should study abroad. To be honest, I really don't understand why someone as outstanding as you would come to A University?" She had heard that Xia Xuan's grades were the highest in their year, but he strangely chose statistics, a very unpopular major in the School of Humanities.
Xia Xuan turned around and smiled slightly, "Do you know why I insisted on coming here?"
Xiao Qiqi naturally shook her head and stuck out her tongue, "How would I know if you don't tell me?"
“Because I want to fulfill my mother’s wish. My mother met that person when she was a sophomore in college, and then dropped out of school to marry him. My mother was studying statistics back then, and not finishing her studies was her lifelong regret, so I vowed to make up for this regret for her. Especially after she passed away... I can’t let her have any regrets.”
"You're such a filial child. Parents always worry about their children," Xiao Qiqi exclaimed. "...Was that person your father?"
“Yes, Dad.” A bitter smile appeared on Xia Xuan’s lips. “He’s in Hong Kong.”
Xiao Qiqi looked at Xia Xuan with a hint of heartache, "So you grew up with your mother in mainland China and didn't have a father?"
“No, I went back to the mainland with my mother when I was six years old.” Xia Xuan shook her head, her slightly narrowed eyes deep and heavy, carrying a distant silence. “After I came back, I never called him ‘Dad’ again. That man… he was very rich, and he had many women. Do you know what that means?”
Xiao Qiqi nodded, "I've heard that rich people have many... many women. They say it's a status symbol. They keep mistresses and spend money to buy youth."
“Yes, the life of the rich.” Xia Xuan’s sarcasm widened. “My mother was the first wife he formally brought into the Xia family. For the first few years, they were very much in love. But later, he got tired of her and started having all sorts of women around him, until he formally brought the second woman into the family. My mother was strong-willed, so she took me back to the mainland without saying a word. Since then, we have never returned to our home in Hong Kong.”
“But you will eventually have to go back, won’t you?” Xiao Qiqi couldn’t help but ask.
"Yes, before, when my mother was alive, that person felt guilty towards her and couldn't force her. But now my mother is gone too. You don't know how big our family is, and the relationships are very complicated. Even if I wanted to hide forever, I'm afraid it's unlikely."
"So, after graduation you'll go with them, let them arrange things for you, study abroad, and then go home?"
"Home?" Xia Xuan shook her head in confusion. "Sometimes I really don't know where home is."
“Anywhere can be home, as long as you want. For example, a dormitory, or a rented house. Every day you live there, if you enjoy it and truly love everyone around you, you will feel warmth. You will feel that is the hope of home.” Xiao Qiqi stretched out her hand. “Don’t be discouraged.”
Looking into Xiao Qiqi's sincere eyes, Xia Xuan reached out and intertwined his fingers with hers, a warmth that touched her heart. Looking into Xiao Qiqi's eyes, he slowly said, "Actually, the home I want is very simple: a house of my own, with someone I love, a few potted plants that I don't bother pruning, letting them grow and die naturally; if I could have a cat, it could be fierce and mischievous, but it would definitely be beautiful and adorable; a bookshelf to hold my favorite books; a small bar to hold some delicious red wine, where I can enjoy a drink with my loved one when we're happy; and, yes, a balcony with a floor-to-ceiling window, where I can be woken up by the sunlight every morning..." Xia Xuan's voice was deep and slightly low, speaking soothingly. Looking into his gentle, watery eyes, Xiao Qiqi gradually became captivated. What kind of home was that? What kind of happiness?
"Xia Xuan, I never imagined that someone who studied science would also have the talent to be a poet." Xiao Qiqi squeezed Xia Xuan's hand and pouted playfully, "I want to buy a house right now because of what you said."
“Having a house doesn’t make it a home, silly.” Xia Xuan patted her head again.
"Hmm, stop touching my head. I'm not a little kid who wants candy."
"I like that you're like a little kid, it's so cute." Xia Xuan's hand slowly slid down Xiao Qiqi's hair. "Qiqi, how long have we known each other?"
Xiao Qiqi was so charmed by his gentle and sweet voice that she almost lost her ability to think. "Three and a half years."
"It's been a long time, hasn't it?"
Xiao Qiqi nodded, her voice becoming a little hoarse, and bit her lip, "It's been a long time." So long that time had made her heart ache.
"After all this time, haven't you fallen in love with me yet?"
"Huh?" Xiao Qiqi looked at Xia Xuan blankly, feeling the warmth of his large hand on her hair near her ear. "You... what did you say?"
Xia Xuan chuckled and shook her head. "How about coming to America with me after graduation?"
Xiao Qiqi reflexively shook her head, "My English is terrible, I hate hamburgers, I hate rolling my tongue, I..."
Xia Xuan covered Xiao Qiqi's mouth with her hand, "Shh!" She released Xiao Qiqi's mouth and pointed her slender fingers towards the dazzling clouds over the lake. It was like a fairyland on the sea, with golden leaves rippling on the lake. The clouds were as shy as a bride in her sleep. The tranquil and dazzling beauty made people gradually enter a dream world.
"I'll wait for you." Xia Xuan's voice seemed to come from the clouds, carrying the clear and bright spirit of an empty valley, seeping into every nerve of Xiao Qiqi.
Some things are like the sheer curtain by the window; we always watch silently, observe quietly, and then quietly leave, afraid of disturbing each other's beautiful dreams. One day, someone can't resist secretly lifting the curtain, only to discover how incredibly beautiful the world truly is.
"Me? Why?" Xiao Qiqi stared blankly into Xia Xuan's dark, cold eyes, and asked, "I'm not as pretty as Xu Chun, nor as gentle, and I'm not as smart..."
"Xiao Qiqi, you're really stupid." Xia Xuan touched Xiao Qiqi's face, her cool fingers tracing across it like misty lake water.
“I’m going to BeiX City tomorrow to look for a job,” Xiao Qiqi continued stiffly.
"Yes, it's a very classic and charming city. In winter, it's covered in snow, a white ocean that's as beautiful as a painting. If you ever see snow, remember to tell me if it's as enchanting as others have described."
Xiao Qiqi nodded and slowly reached out to grasp Xia Xuan's fingers. "I like it there."
"I know."
“So…” Xiao Qiqi breathed with difficulty, “Although I don’t know what you really want, I know my own thoughts. After graduation, I will go to Beijing, not… the United States.”
Xia Xuan chuckled, "Silly boy, are you rejecting me now?"
"I don't know." Xiao Qiqi's answer was still stiff, her eyes moving away from Xia Xuan's perfect features. "Xia Xuan, you are a very outstanding and charming guy. So many people are crazy about you and obsessed with you. Over the years, I have always reminded myself to be completely different, to be my most authentic self, instead of forgetting myself and suffering like those people for some unrealistic things, such as love. So, I have lived a very happy life these years. Do you understand?"
“I understand, that’s why you’re the most unique.”
"Is it because I haven't fallen in love with you that things are different?" Xiao Qiqi turned around, a smile on her lips. This was the real her, naked and sharp, not just blindly infatuated.
Xia Xuan was clearly taken aback, then tilted her head and smiled slyly, "Guess? If you guess right, I'll give you a small gift."
Xiao Qiqi smiled. This was the reality between her and Xia Xuan—almost there, yet distant, seemingly in love but not quite. "What gift?"
"Hmm, wait a minute." Xia Xuan looked for the withered vines on the ground, fiddled with them in her hands for a long time, and finally gave up, pouting in frustration, "My mother said that the vines by the lake are the best for making grasshoppers, but I can't make them well."
Xiao Qiqi found Xia Xuan's sudden boyishness amusing and laughed so hard she fell to the ground. "Xia Xuan, you really are an idiot! The grass is withered in winter, how can you bend it? Didn't your mother tell you that spring is the season of rejuvenation?"
"So all I have to do is wait until spring, and everything will be warm and flowers will bloom, right?" Xia Xuan smiled ambiguously.
Xiao Qiqi looked up at him, a warm current flowing in her heart, a natural emotion, the most genuine feeling. She closed her eyes and gave a smile that she herself couldn't quite grasp, "Perhaps."
"Get up, don't sleep on the ground, it's cold in winter." Xia Xuan's hand was already around Xiao Qiqi's, the temperature of their skin, like her mood, was something only she knew.
Xiao Qiqi struggled to her feet, following Xia Xuan's arm. A gust of cold wind, carrying a desolate howl, swept through the forest. Xiao Qiqi shivered involuntarily and obediently stuffed her hands into Xia Xuan's dark blue coat pocket. "Let's go back, it's so cold."
"Are you cold? Shall I take off my clothes for you?" The two walked slowly along the still rippling lake back the way they came, and Xia Xuan asked, squeezing Xiao Qiqi's slightly cool fingers.
“Okay,” Xiao Qiqi replied without hesitation.
Xia Xuan smiled helplessly, "Xiao Qiqi, are you always this genuine?"
“It’s foolish not to take advantage of a situation. I’m not stupid. If I need it, why should I pretend to be helpful?” Xiao Qiqi raised an eyebrow.
Xia Xuan smiled silently, took off her coat and draped it over Xiao Qiqi's shoulders. "Do you remember the first day of school? You were sitting under the magnolia tree without a care in the world, your eyes were so bright. You said you were waiting for me here to buy medicine. That's when I thought of a real girl."
"Hehe, I thought you were really annoyed. Didn't you ever think that with my good looks, everyone would pounce on me like a starving wolf, so why didn't this girl?"
Xia Xuan nodded seriously and thought, "I think I should have had such thoughts."
Xiao Qiqi pinched his arm, "Ah, actually you're wrong. When I saw you standing by the playground, I whistled at you."
Xia Xuan looked at Xiao Qiqi's smile, her small, straight nose was red and wrinkled from laughing, and she looked smug and smug. She couldn't help but pinch Xiao Qiqi's nose. "Ah, so that was the first time you whistled at me!"
Xiao Qiqi couldn't help but whistle again, "Hehe, just like this, isn't it wonderful!"
Xia Xuan suddenly frowned. "Do you often stand by the roadside and whistle at handsome boys? I remember when you were barbecuing, you whistled at the back of a boy who was passing by, and when he turned around to look at you, you whistled at me with that special flirtatious expression."
Xiao Qiqi shook her head, "No, no, all beings are equal, and I feel the same way about all beautiful things."
"Don't do that again."
"Why? Because I feel very comfortable."
"Because I'll be jealous."
Xiao Qiqi was stunned again. "Xia Xuan, stop making jokes like this. I didn't promise you anything."
"I'm just telling the truth."
Xia Xuan held Xiao Qiqi's hand, and Xiao Qiqi felt his hand gradually getting cold. She quickly took off his coat and said, "Put this on, you'll catch a cold."
Xia Xuan shook her head, "No, I'm not cold, I'm afraid you'll get cold."
"I heard that the temperature in Beijing drops to minus ten degrees Celsius in winter. I will experience cold in the future, so I need to learn to be cold now."
Xia Xuan remained silent, took the coat quietly, and slowly put it on.
Xiao Qiqi still put her hands in his large pockets, and Xia Xuan put her hands in as well, their fingers intertwined. They walked on in silence.
15. Misunderstanding
Xu Chun's ticket was for the early morning of the next day, while Xiao Qiqi's was for the afternoon; she was always the last one to arrive.
At night, Xu Chun climbed into Xiao Qiqi's bed, and the two snuggled together for warmth. Xiao Qiqi stroked Xu Chun's straight, dark hair, and a vague sense of guilt began to torment her in the darkness. Although she told herself to be honest and let things take their course, she still couldn't face Xu Chun, whom she trusted and relied on.
"Qiqi, I'm afraid to go back."
"I don't know, don't be afraid. Why don't you come with me to Beijing to find a job? That way we can look after each other in the future."
"No, I don't like the North. I still prefer the mild and spring-like South. So, I bought a ticket not to go home, but to Shenzhen."
"Huh?" Xiao Qiqi looked at Xu Chun in surprise. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Xu Chun seemed a little evasive, "I don't want you to worry, especially Huang Yu who always treats me like a glass doll, afraid that I'll break."
Xiao Qiqi scratched her head, thinking carefully, "Oh right, I remember now, I heard Dai Kunkun say yesterday that Li Yue also went to Shenzhen for winter break. Why don't I give him a call and ask him to look after you? It's too dangerous for a girl like you to go there alone!"
"No need," Xu Chun refused decisively. "And you're one to talk, aren't you going to BeiX City alone too?"