Chapitre 31

Cuizhi said, "Do you think I wouldn't know if you didn't tell me?" Shijun said, "I have my reasons for not telling you. I'm afraid that because of her nonsense, you'll feel more constrained when you're with Shuhui."

Hearing his words, Cuizhi felt a strange sensation. He trusted her so much; she felt truly ashamed. Although she hadn't actually done anything wrong, she felt she had betrayed him a thousand times over in her heart. She felt incredibly guilty. Even in their ordinary married life, many things were her fault. She wanted him to know she understood now, but if she confessed now, it wouldn't seem like she was guilty, but rather it would confirm the bad things people said about her. So, after much internal struggle, she still couldn't bring herself to say it.

She suddenly said firmly, "If you go to the Northeast, I'm going with you." Shi Jun glanced at her carefully and smiled, "I was hoping you could come along." Cui Zhi said, "Anyway, don't even think about leaving me behind!" Shi Jun laughed, "What's wrong with you today? You're acting a bit crazy!" There was a hint of weariness in his voice. After his comforting words, Cui Zhi didn't know why, but two tears welled up in her eyes. Shi Jun laughed, "Eh? --Won't you be embarrassed if Da Bei sees you like this?" He chuckled.

Shijun smiled too. He thought to himself, if Cuizhi could change her temper, that would be wonderful. He feared it was just a momentary impulse, like the resolutions people make at the end of each year—they might not last. Whether they would last depended on whether she could come to terms with it, whether she could truly work hard and become a useful person in society. In truth, wasn't he in the same situation? They had both lived half their lives in the old society, carrying countless burdens they couldn't let go of. If he could make it back to the Northeast, it would be a serious test for him. In this respect, he and she felt a kind of sibling-like connection. He smiled, took her hand, and gently shook it.

He thought this was a fresh start for their relationship.

~Novel t xt Heaven

Eighteen Spring Eighteen

This is Shenyang. There's a party that evening, a special performance by the local cultural troupe to welcome the staff who came to Northeast China. Shijun thought to himself, "If Manzhen sees this, she'll definitely remember her Rongbao." Manzhen didn't come today because she had a bit of a cold and was resting in her dormitory.

The performance of "Good News" had just finished, and applause erupted. Erbei, sitting between Shijun and Cuizhi, clapped so hard that he bounced in his chair, and an apple from his pocket rolled to the floor. Cuizhi bent down to pick it up. She had changed her clothes, wearing a Lenin suit and cutting her hair short. This revealed a large section of her neck, white against neatly trimmed black hair. Actually, both were haircuts; the permed hair was only slightly longer, but for a fashionable person, cutting off two or three inches of curly hair was like shaving one's head in a monastic retreat—a serious psychological hurdle, difficult to overcome. Cuizhi's perspective had changed; seeing Manzhen's short hair, she didn't find it objectionable, which was why she resolutely cut hers. Shijun had been a little worried that he and Manzhen wouldn't get along well. Before leaving, he had invited Manzhen to their home for dinner so she could meet Cuizhi, but at that time, Cuizhi's attitude was still quite reserved. But later, when they traveled together, they were able to see a person's true character. She gradually got to know Manzhen better, and before they even reached Shenyang, the two had already developed a very good relationship.

Cuizhi took out a handkerchief from her pocket, polished the apple until it shone, and handed it to Erbei. It was a famous Red Jade apple from Northeast China. Cuizhi then said to Shijun, "These apples are really good. Take two back for Manzhen to eat." As she said this, someone sitting in front of them turned around in surprise. Shijun thought the person looked very familiar, but everyone was wearing uniforms at the time, and under the lamplight, the shadow of the hat brim covered his forehead, so he couldn't recognize him for a moment. Could it be Mu Jin? After all, it had been twenty years since they last met, and he hesitated for a moment before greeting him.

Mu Jin seemed to hear a woman mention Manzhen's name while speaking. He thought he must have misheard, because the name often came to mind, and hearing two similar-sounding words, he assumed it was Manzhen. Therefore, he turned around absentmindedly, glanced at Cuizhi, whom he didn't recognize, and then looked away again. Shi Jun, however, leaned forward, patted him on the shoulder, and laughed, "Brother Mu Jin! When did you arrive?" Mu Jin turned around and was startled to see him, then laughed, "Oh, you're here too! I didn't expect that." Shi Jun shook his hand warmly. Mu Jin didn't actually have a very good impression of Shi Jun, always feeling that he had wronged Manzhen in the past. But now, meeting an old friend in a foreign land, and being members of the same revolutionary family, he felt very close to him.

Shi Jun said, "I heard someone say last time that you encountered those unfortunate things in Lu'an—" Mu Jin sighed slightly and said, "Sigh, it's just—"

He seemed unwilling to elaborate. When Shi Jun first saw him, he hadn't noticed anything amiss, but in that instant, the sorrow and weariness on his face were fully revealed. Shi Jun stared at him silently. Mu Jin leaned back in his chair, stunned for a moment, then suddenly said, "So my previous thinking was wrong. I've never been interested in politics. I always thought politics was too broad and too vague; ideals aren't always achievable, and even if they are, they might not be as ideal as they seem. I'd rather do what I believe is beneficial within my own power and within my sight, doing what I can. But under such evil forces, this won't work, even if you lower your hopes to the bare minimum." He became more and more excited as he spoke, adding, "So it still comes down to this: politics determines everything. If you don't care about politics, politics will find you. —In the end, I lost my family!" As he said this, a faint smile appeared on his face.

Shi Jun asked, "So where have you been all these years?" Mu Jin replied, "Later I left Lu'an and sent my little girl to her maternal grandmother's place. They were in Chongqing at the time. I was very discouraged about my work after that setback, so I drifted around until today when liberation came. I felt there was no reason not to cheer up, because now they are recruiting medical personnel to come to the Northeast, so I also participated."

As they talked for a while, Shi Jun, feeling a bit uncomfortable from constantly leaning forward, said, "Hey, why don't you sit in the back? It'll be easier to talk there." Da Bei then ran to the front row and switched seats with Mu Jin. Mu Jin sat down next to Shi Jun, who smiled at him and said, "Man Zhen is here too. I heard she got married." He thought someone like Zhu Hongcai would never have come to the Northeast with her. Shi Jun said, "She's divorced now. There were many twists and turns in the story. Let her tell you herself." Mu Jin was stunned by his words. She was divorced—had she finally married Shi Jun? So he smiled and asked, "You and her—" He stopped there, then felt it was still inappropriate to ask, so he changed the second half of his sentence to, "—came together?" Shi Jun knew he must have misunderstood, so he said, "Uh, we came together. —Uh, I forgot to introduce you, this is my lover." "Cuizhi is quite used to the word 'lover' now, and she smiled and nodded at Mu Jin. Mu Jin naturally felt relieved. He was quite composed, but in the few minutes he spoke, the color on his face changed several times. If you weren't paying attention, you might not notice, but Shijun saw it very clearly."

Mu Jin turned away and looked around, then smiled and said, "Oh, where's Manzhen? Did she come today too?" Shi Jun smiled and said, "She couldn't come. She probably caught a cold on the way and has a fever. She's lying in her dorm. —Hey, why don't you go see her later? We'll need your doctor." Mu Jin smiled and said, "I'll go see her later."

The final performance, "The Glory Lantern," had begun, and everyone fell silent to watch the show. Shijun, however, was deeply moved, his mind racing. It was clear that Mu Jin still loved Manzhen. He was truly happy for Manzhen, because she had always held a deep friendship with Mu Jin, and he knew that if it hadn't been for him, their relationship would have continued to develop.

He was pondering how to facilitate their relationship. The "Glory of the Stage" performance was reaching its climax, with drums and gongs resounding. Shi Jun occasionally glanced to the side and noticed the seat next to him was empty. Mu Jin, unable to wait for the play to end, had already left.

Shi Jun smiled wistfully. He was wholeheartedly wishing them well.

1951

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