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Chapitre 1

Turning wood

This year, Shi Nan's birthday coincided with his return to China.

I met up with classmates in the afternoon and with my family in the evening.

My classmates are my closest friends from high school. Shi Nan said I'll just pay for it.

Having been away from China for several years, he had absolutely no idea which restaurants were currently the most popular. After a round of discussion, everyone still had different opinions. Finally, Wang Fan asked Shi Nan, "What do you miss eating the most?"

Nostalgic for many? There are countless, none more than one. But there is one place he hates the most, and Shi Nan thinks of Da Dong Roast Duck Restaurant.

About three years ago, Shi Nan was separating the skin and flesh of a duck on the table when Lan Di unexpectedly said, "Shi Nan, I might stay in Japan after graduation."

It was April. Lan Di was about to graduate from Dongda University, while Shi Nan had already changed jobs three times in China. At that time, she still couldn't define herself—for whom?

"Let's go eat roast duck," Shi Nan said to Wang Fan. "Let's go to Da Dong at Tuanjiehu."

During the gathering, everyone followed the usual routine of their annual get-together: first, they chatted about their current situations, whether they were at the table or not; then, they reminisced about their high school days; and finally, they drank until they were drunk, sharing their camaraderie.

As usual, Shi Nan mostly listened and ate quietly. When she heard the boy blushing and singing about his past glories, she also fell into the memories and laughed.

Back then, when the boys went out to eat, sing karaoke, play games, play cards, or play pool, they would always bring Shi Nan along. Shi Nan only knew how to eat and sing; she couldn't do anything else, so bringing her along was actually pointless. But she was always taken along, like a pet, and they wouldn't feel at ease until she was safely brought home. She wasn't any of their girlfriends, but bringing her along became a routine, and no one questioned why.

However, Lan Di was never among these people.

People who are popular with the opposite sex are often isolated by their own sex. Even though people care about his situation as much as they do about the outcome of a sports game.

Leaving aside the current situation, Zhang Miao said, "Hey, I heard that Lan Di has recently returned. Has anyone seen him?"

The pancake that Shi Nan had rolled almost fell apart, so he remained silent and waited for someone else to take over.

Tang Beibei said, "Yes, he's back. I ran into him in Dongfang the day before yesterday. He was having dinner with a girl."

Shi Nan couldn't help but ask, "What's he coming back for?" After saying that, she stuffed the whole pancake into her mouth, chewing it with her lips pursed, not caring how incongruous it looked with her image, and not trying to hide anything.

Shi Nan wasn't afraid of arousing suspicion; everyone always assumed she was just like them and didn't have much of a relationship with him.

"It seems he's back in Beijing. The Japanese side has assigned him to be stationed in China. I didn't ask too many questions, but he hasn't changed much. By the way, the girl he was with looked like a high school student. Sigh, do you think he might be trying to seduce a minor?"

Zhang Miao continued, "Lan Di has the looks, so it's not surprising that both adults and minors are willing to fawn over him."

Shi Nan was still chewing when he added, "What does he have to offer? It's just his face!" He almost choked on his words.

Seeing this, Wang Fan quickly patted her on the back, and Shi Nan thanked him.

Zhang Miao said, "Hey Shi Nan, don't say that. Don't assume someone is a pretty boy just because they're good-looking. If Lan Di was the object of attention for girls in both grades back then, it could be attributed to his good looks. But now he's a senior manager at a prestigious university and a multinational corporation. Putting aside his looks, just that alone is enough to make countless girls throw themselves at him."

Shi Nan persisted, "Yes, he only picks underage girls." There was a hint of resentment in her words, but fortunately, no one could understand her point. Instead, they thought she was just fixated on gigolos.

Gao Yuan said, "Oh my, our little leopard has been abroad for several years, and her personality hasn't changed at all, nor has her temper. It seems she hasn't suffered much. Shi Nan, it's fine if you're clear about your likes and dislikes, but do you have to be so straightforward? You'll suffer when you come back to China. Also, you're a grown woman now, don't be as unrestrained as before. You should have some manners when you eat, and don't make noise while chewing." Back then, the boys called Shi Nan "little leopard," and those who knew Shi Nan would say it was quite fitting.

After hearing Gao Yuan's words, Shi Nan wanted to say something, but couldn't utter a word. She could only gasp for breath. Gao Yuan laughed even more heartily, "Shi Nan, when you came today, you gave me quite a shock. You're such a graceful lady. I've been looking for an opportunity to check you out during this meal, hahaha, you haven't changed at all."

Although Tang Beibei was also smiling, she quickly changed the subject, "Nannan, you didn't see my Jin Shao's 'Perhaps Love' over there last year, did you? It was so good. I know a cinema in the east of the city is showing it these two weeks, how about tomorrow?"

Zhang Miao said, "Oh, I want to see that too, I'll go too."

Gao Yuan also rushed over, saying, "Oh dear, I didn't see it either."

Tang Beibei and Shi Nan looked at Wang Fan simultaneously. He raised his hands in surrender, "I've seen it. But I'll go with you, I'll go with you. You tell me, what time?"

After finishing lunch, we went home, and my parents entertained some relatives. During the meal, my aunt remembered my mother's advice and said to Shi Nan, "Nan Nan, if you have a boyfriend outside, you must report it to the family in time."

Shi Nan said, "Auntie, no, if I did, would I not tell you? If I told my mom the second one, she would definitely tell you the first one. But I really don't have one."

My aunt then asked, "What about your former classmates?"

Shi Nan picked up a piece of his father's best steamed sea bass and asked, "What classmate?"

My aunt said, "It's that blue one, the one who always calls you internationally."

Shi Nan was surprised. "What boss? We only fought once."

"It's not just once, ask your mom."

“Oh, him? Yes, Shi Nan. He’s called many times over the years, asking for your address and phone number, but I didn’t give them to him. Didn’t you say back then that you two weren’t related? I didn’t particularly remember to tell you when you came back.”

"Oh, it's okay. He's not my boyfriend. Ugh, I really don't have a boyfriend." Shi Nan finally managed to dodge the question and remembered that phone call.

She remembered how unexpected it was; she never imagined he would call from Japan, going straight to Shi Nan's house. Shi Nan was taking a shower and asked his mother to tell him to wait a moment. His mother immediately began questioning him: name, age, relationship, where he was, what he was studying... she asked everything clearly. Lan Di didn't mince words; he answered every question honestly and calmly, as was his usual style. After Shi Nan hung up, his mother came in and asked, "What's your relationship? Calling you from so far away, you're not just an ordinary classmate, are you?!" Shi Nan said, "You really are just an ordinary classmate. Maybe his phone card is about to expire, so he just called randomly." Shi Nan wasn't lying. During that call, Lan Di didn't say anything special, just like in the letter; even after what happened later, he didn't say anything special—perhaps he never had anything special he wanted to say to her.

Letters. Yes, letters. In the first few years of college, Shi Nan and Lan Di corresponded regularly, using paper, pen, envelopes, and stamps.

After the meal, the relatives left, and Shi Nan returned to her room. She opened the bottom drawer of her desk and took out an exquisite pastry box, which Lan Di had brought back for her from Japan. The box was large, but there weren't many pastries inside. Shi Nan found it strange when she took it; the box was empty, yet showed no signs of being crushed. How did he bring it? Did he carry it with him the whole way? Shi Nan couldn't read the Japanese on it, so it probably contained more than just the names of the pastries. However, Shi Nan had no interest in figuring it out; she had always hated Japan, Japanese language, and Japanese people. The box was just really pretty, though, and she hadn't thrown it away after finishing the pastries.

But on that day, after returning from Da Dong, Shi Nan put all the letters from those years inside, at the very bottom of the drawer, and never took them out to read again.

Even today.

He's back; he's not leaving again.

Now that he has a female companion, Shi Nan wondered if he should throw away the contents of this box.

Clarinet in the Quiet Night

Shi Nan opened the box, and the letters inside were arranged in chronological order.

The drawer was never locked. If her mother saw the contents of the letters, she wouldn't think they were love letters; there were no sweet words inside. So Shi Nan left them there boldly.

They were not love letters to begin with.

They are not the kind of letters between close friends who share everything and all their secrets.

It's just a casual, indifferent update between seemingly ordinary friends.

If it was something that could be dispensable, why were the two of them so persistent and uninterrupted back then?

Writing letters was her hobby, but not his.

Shi picked them up in order; the first one was a note, not a letter.

That was the only note from him from high school that she kept.

Unfolded, it contained a quote he had copied from a reader during class:

"The most painful thing in love is that two things cannot happen at the same time."

Shi Nan had considered whether the note contained any hidden meaning, but she preferred to tell herself that it was simply a truth he was sharing with her.

The night was so quiet that one could only want to sink into it. Memories, like a clarinet, wouldn't let Shi Nan refuse; they began to play sharply, taking Shi Nan back to that classroom eight years ago.

Why is the name related to April?

Because they were born in April, became acquainted in April, fell in love in April, parted in April, and met again in April.

The male is distinguished from the female. The reason for the name "male" is that the parents longed for a boy.

When Shi Nan was a child, she was an overly lively girl. For example, when the teacher was not in kindergarten, she would take the initiative to teach other children. She would also compete with boys to climb walls and trees, and every summer her legs would be covered with scars and bandages.

They had originally planned to change the parents' names to Nan before he started school, but they gave up on that idea.

Until April, the month before the college entrance examination, Shi Nan hardly spoke to Lan Di, her classmate.

They sat far apart, and their social circles didn't overlap.

Oh no, Shi Nan has a social circle, but Lan Di doesn't seem to have one at all. I've never seen him get particularly close to anyone, and he rarely participates in boys' sports.

As an observer, Shi Nan didn't find it strange; Lan Di's "unreal" image was not suitable for returning to the classroom covered in sweat with a group of boys.

That April, with the college entrance exam approaching, everyone was restless, and even close friends started to have conflicts. Shi Nan, a typical Aries girl, was the first to get into a fight because her former deskmate shook the table while solving a problem.

As a result, the teacher decided to change the seats.

So in April, Shi Nan was arranged to sit in front of Lan Di.

There, Shi Nan and Lan Di officially said hi.

Shi Nan later recalled that they had actually spoken before. Once during a New Year's class meeting, Lan Di was in charge of taking photos. When he distributed the developed photos to his classmates, he gently said to Shi Nan, "You look really good in the photo."

He spoke so softly that Shi Nan thought he had misheard. But when he looked up at Lan Di, his gaze was already moving away, and the twitch at the corner of his mouth was returning to normal.

But then he realized that "looks good in photos" meant "doesn't look good in real life," and immediately told himself to forget that phrase. And he really did forget it later.

April in Beijing is unpredictable, with alternating warm and cold spells. The feeling of enjoying the sunshine indoors during the day without being bothered by the cool breeze is truly delightful. Shi Nan's new geographical location is a treasure trove: the third row. In front of him is the class monitor answering questions; to his right is a deskmate separating him from the noise of the aisle; to his left is the sound of birdsong and the fragrance of flowers outside the window; and behind him is Lan Di, a name Shi Nan learned about from other girls as soon as he entered high school. A student's name often becomes widely known among the public because of their outstanding academic performance; the reason why a boy's name becomes widely known among the girls is self-evident.

Shi Nan enjoyed her classes, hummed songs while doing exercises, ate snacks during breaks, and ate boxed lunches at noon. She loved her home so much that she was reluctant to move as much as possible. As the saying goes, "A tree dies when transplanted, but a person thrives," and Shi Nan suddenly felt all her previous restlessness disappear.

Moreover, one can still appreciate it from a distance—Wang Fan.

Yes, Shi Nan also has someone she secretly admires, Wang Fan.

Shi Nan appears outgoing, but she hides her true feelings very carefully. Perhaps it's pride, a fear of losing face, that prevents her from confessing her feelings; she prefers to remain reserved. Shi Nan can eat lunch with the boys every day, can be called in by the teacher for getting too close to boys but still not care, can help a boy straighten his clothes without batting an eye, yet she dares not express any feelings for the person she likes. This was true before, and it remains true now.

To Shi Nan, Lan Di's beauty was too common: tall, thin, fair-skinned, with a chiseled nose and thin lips; he rarely spoke, and Shi Nan thought he was just pretending to be profound; his grades were above average, and he didn't like sports.

Wang Fan, the Wang Fan Shi Nan liked, was also slender and fair-skinned, only not as tall as Lan Di, nor as delicate-looking. Wang Fan was also quiet, exuding a sense of aloofness that made Shi Nan want to save him. Wang Fan played basketball and was an excellent student. Shi Nan and Wang Fan rode the same bus, and after school, they would deliberately avoid other students and stand together. This little unspoken understanding was the driving force behind Shi Nan's feelings for Wang Fan.

Wang Fan and Lan Di actually share similar traits; neither of them are sociable. However, due to preconceived notions, when Shi Nan met Lan Di, he was the kind of heartthrob that Shi Nan despised; while when Shi Nan met Wang Fan, he felt that Wang Fan was destined to be saved by him.

Shi Nan was truly satisfied with his new position.

She and Landy started talking, doing homework together, discussing things outside of class, and passing notes.

Every time Lan Di called Shi Nan, she would habitually lean back and tilt her head to the left—gradually, this became an action she did without thinking.

She didn't even need to turn her head; she only needed to tilt her head to the left and look at the bright sunshine outside the window. Lan Di's voice came to her left ear, so low that only Shi Nan could hear it, so gentle that it almost made Shi Nan's heart flutter.

It must be admitted that Landi has a pleasant voice, which is very much in line with his appearance.

Shi Nan's sitting posture also began to lean to the left and back, and the field formed by the window and Lan Di to the left and back was like a paradise in the noisy classroom.