I hadn't slept well all night, and with a long yawn, I asked, "Who is it this time?"
Liu Laoliu said excitedly, "There are several! Come on over."
What are they doing now?
"I'm drinking here."
I said nonchalantly, "Oh, then let them drink first. I'll just find a car from the school to take them back later, won't that be fine?"
Liu Laoliu chuckled and said, "You dare to put on airs with these people?"
I mumbled, "No, I'm just too sleepy."
"I don't care. You don't have to come in person for future clients, but not this time. And—do you want your salary for the past few months?"
My eyes lit up when I heard the last sentence. Salary? How many months? Right, it's almost February, and I started "taking customers" in mid-April last year. Liu Laoliu only started paying me in September. Mind reading, mother-and-child cookies, face-changing chewing gum, invincible protective car, and I've only received four months' salary.
I jumped up and got dressed. Xiang Yu had driven the car away, so I had to take a taxi to the bar.
Just like the six experts last time, this time the clients were also accompanied by Liu Laoliu, sitting at the table next to the stage. Including Liu Laoliu, there were five people in total. The other four were men; except for one older man who wore a large fur coat and a felt hat, the other three had changed into modern clothes, each looking handsome and poised. I waved to them with a smile, ignoring how many responded, and hurriedly pulled Liu Laoliu aside, holding out my hand, saying, "Where's my salary? What is it?"
Liu Laoliu first apologized to the four men in a perfunctory manner, then whispered to me, "Don't worry about your salary all the time, get to know these people first." As he spoke, he pointed to one of the handsome middle-aged men with a square face and said loudly, "This is Emperor Taizong of Tang, Li Shimin."
I gave Li Shimin a perfunctory nod, still intending to continue arguing with Liu Laoliu about my salary. As everyone knows, this old swindler's luck rating often hovers between 0 and negative infinity; who knows if he might embezzle?
When I turned my head towards Liu Laoliu, it dawned on me, and I looked at Li Shimin in surprise and asked, "Who are you again?"
Li Shimin smiled gently: "Li Shimin."
A middle-aged man with shrewd eyes next to him clasped his hands in greeting and said, "Oh, so it's Emperor Taizong of Tang, Brother Li."
Li Shimin still smiled warmly, "Brother, just call me Shimin. As for Emperor Taizong of Tang, that's all in the past, let's not talk about it." The middle-aged man smiled faintly and said, "Of course, of course."
To be honest, my curiosity about this middle-aged man has surpassed that about Li Shimin. The fact that he could so easily become sworn brothers with Emperor Taizong of Tang suggests at least two things: first, this man's status was not low; second, he was probably not from the Tang Dynasty, otherwise he wouldn't have been so casual in front of a former king of the current dynasty.
I really wanted to chat with my idol a little longer. Goodness, Li Shimin! Of all the emperors China has produced, only Li Shimin and Emperor Kangxi are consistently praised in both official and unofficial histories. Although the Xuanwu Gate Incident killed his two brothers, that was just a political upheaval. Now that I've met him in person, how can I not be excited—Brother Shimin is much more handsome than Tang Guoqiang; look at his aura! Tsk tsk, we've seen emperors before, one was just a fat guy who only knew how to play video games, and the other looked like an old slacker. The one who truly possesses imperial bearing is none other than Li Shimin.
Before I could exchange more pleasantries with Brother Shimin, Liu Laoliu pointed to the burly man to Li Shimin's right who hadn't said a word and said, "This is Emperor Taizu of Song, Zhao Kuangyin."
The burly man had dark skin, long arms and big feet, and apart from the imposing presence he exuded, no one would guess that he was actually the founding emperor of a dynasty.
The middle-aged man on Li Shimin's other side clasped his hands in greeting and said, "Oh, it's Brother Zhao."
Zhao Kuangyin nodded slightly to him, then smiled kindly at me. The middle-aged man suddenly pointed at Li Shimin and Zhao Kuangyin and said, "You two... well... never mind, let's not talk about it."
Li Shimin asked curiously, "Brother, if you have something to say, please speak frankly." The man just kept shaking his head. Zhao Kuangyin suddenly said in a deep voice, "I know what he wants to say." He turned to Li Shimin and said, "Brother Li, although we fought for the same empire, we are separated by a hundred years. Moreover, my foundation comes from the Chai family of the Later Zhou Dynasty. You overlooked it first, and I picked it up later, so you can't hate me."
Li Shimin seemed to know nothing at first, but after hearing these words, the naturally wise man couldn't help but sigh, "So, my Tang Dynasty's golden age was just a flash in the pan?" He had already guessed that his country would eventually fall into ruin, just like the Sui Dynasty.
Just then, the only old man at the table suddenly reached out and patted Li Shimin on the shoulder, comforting him in a deep voice, "Since ancient times, there has never been a warrior who never lost a battle. Even the eagle soaring in the sky will eventually grow old." This old man also had a square face, with a reddish-black complexion, and his most distinctive feature was his eyes, which were long, narrow slits. I looked at his attire and heard him speak a phrase in broken Chinese, and on a whim, without waiting for Liu Laoliu to introduce him, I blurted out, "Genghis Khan?"
Genghis Khan chuckled and said, "I never thought that someone would recognize me in a place without grasslands." The old man then patted Zhao Kuangyin on the back and said, "Brother, just like you said, we fought for the same land, but you can't hate me. Your Song Dynasty later became like a sick, thin wolf, being eaten to death by deer and wild dogs. In the end, I simply had to kill the deer and wild dogs as well."
Zhao Kuangyin, understanding the implied meaning in the song, changed his expression slightly and finally asked, "Who exactly destroyed my Great Song Dynasty?"
Genghis Khan said, "First came the Liao and Western Xia, then the Jin. But don't worry, all these countries will eventually be wiped out by our Mongol cavalry."
Zhao Kuangyin, with a stern face, clasped his hands in thanks and said, "Thank you very much."
It must be said that Genghis Khan was very skilled in the art of speaking. Although he was the one who led his troops to slaughter and kill, he made it sound like he was deliberately avenging Zhao Kuangyin. It seems that this ancestor of the Mongols was not just good at riding horses and shooting arrows.
At this moment, all our eyes turned to the middle-aged man who had been so active. Strangely, he had fallen silent ever since Genghis Khan finished speaking. Genghis Khan, sitting close to him, asked, "Brother, what is your name?"
The man subtly shifted his seat to the side, chuckled dryly, and said to Genghis Khan, "Um... Brother Temujin, right? To be honest, you really do have some hatred for me. I overthrew the Yuan Dynasty built by your grandson."
Genghis Khan's expression changed, and he said, "Even we Mongols can be defeated?"
The man said, “You Mongols are too bullying. You don’t treat us Han people like human beings. You don’t even allow people to have names. When a child is born, the sum of the parents’ ages is the name of the child. For example, if a child is born when the father is 25 and the mother is 22, and the family’s surname is Zhang, then the child would be called Zhang Siqi. As for me, I can only be called Zhu Baba.”
I stroked my chin and asked him, "So, does that mean your parents were a combined sixty-four years old when you were born?"
"yes."
"Then... can Zhu Qiqi also be called Zhu Sijiu?"
"Yes, what's there to study about this?"
Sweat beaded on my forehead. I've always thought Zhu Qiqi was a beautiful name, and the thought that her nickname might be Sijiu...
Actually, naming children this way is quite fun, aside from the high rate of name duplication. A while ago, there was a news report on TV about an elderly couple surnamed Chen who had a son late in life. The old man was 81 and the old woman was 79. Wouldn't their son be named Chen 160? Then another question suddenly occurred to me: if we calculate one day in heaven as one year on earth, how old would the Seventh Fairy Maiden be? What would she and Dong Yong's child be named then…?
After letting my mind wander for a while, I asked the man, "Your surname is Zhu? What is your relationship with Zhu Yuanzhang?"
The man said, "I am Zhu Yuanzhang, this name is a later addition." No wonder... no wonder he dared to call Li Shimin his brother!
I was stunned for a moment: Emperor Taizong of Tang, Emperor Taizu of Song, Genghis Khan, and Emperor Taizu of Ming—the most influential leaders or emperors of the four great dynasties of Tang, Song, Yuan, and Ming have all come to me!
I grabbed Liu Laoliu and whispered, "What do you mean by bringing such a large group of emperors here?" I finally understood why he had said this morning that these people could not be neglected.
Liu Laoliu said with a grin, "This is so lively—go and say a few words to His Majesties!"
I stared at the four of them in astonishment, and they stared back at me in astonishment, then exchanged glances. Yes, although they had been sitting together for quite some time, it could be said that they had only just begun to get to know each other. Who were these people? They were either founding emperors or great rulers, who, even in a new setting, would never take the initiative to greet someone with, "What is your mother's surname?"
Now that they've heard each other's introductions, Li Shimin can't help but look at Zhao Kuangyin with a different gaze, while Zhao Kuangyin stares at Genghis Khan with a hint of suspicion. Our steppe eagle, needless to say, doesn't exactly scout Zhu Yuanzhang with friendly eyes either. This is what troubles me most: the Tang, Song, Yuan, and Ming dynasties—these four rulers who rose from the ranks are practically enemies to each other. These dynasties aren't like coins, where consecutive serial numbers have commemorative significance—
I also discovered something: in Chairman Mao's poem "Qinyuanchun: Snow," basically all the characters are present except for replacing Emperor Wu of Han with Liu Bang...
I stood before the four super bosses, coughed awkwardly, and said, "Um... Your Majesties..." I bet this was the first time these four had ever heard such a title in their lives. Although Genghis Khan never proclaimed himself emperor, the plural form of "Your Majesty" must have confused him as well.