"...Didn't you say he didn't remember me?"
"He truly doesn't remember you, but have you forgotten? He died once more before returning to the Qin Dynasty. Jing Ke's past life was still Jing Ke; although he didn't report to the underworld, he secretly drank the Meng Po soup. The same goes for the others. In other words... their past lives were spent here with you. The final conclusion is: as long as they consume my blue elixir, they will remember you, their dearest brother!"
At that moment, my heart was completely moved. I would go back to the Qin Dynasty to find Ersha and Fatty and tell them not to kill each other. Others might not be able to do it, but I felt quite confident.
only……
Do you have any more medicine?
He Tiandou took out a blue pill from his pocket: "This is the last one left."
I said with a dark face, "Stop fucking helping Zhang Xiaohua with her publicity stunts. Who do you want me to give this pill to, the idiot or the fat guy?"
He Tiandou quickly smiled apologetically and said, "This is just the first time. We'll have plenty in the future, even if it's thousands upon thousands."
"Don't you dare lie to me!"
My ex, who had grown distant since our relationship ended, didn't hold my attitude against me at all. He put his arm around my shoulder and pushed me to the window, then suddenly pointed to the lawn in front of He Tiandou's door: "Look carefully under every blade of grass."
I stared intently, and saw that beneath each blade of grass on that lawn, there seemed to be a patch of blue sprouts, thousands upon thousands of them—those were alluring grasses…
...
"Do I really have to go?"
"Oh dear, you've been made a Heavenly Official, given the Blue Elixir, and told about the seriousness of the Heavenly Cycle. It's clear this is Heaven's arrangement."
"You two old charlatans, don't try to fool me!"
"Damn it, isn't what fate has in store for you to be arrogant enough?"
Chapter 81 Error
Okay, now let's analyze this. First of all, as relatively weak humans, we are still under the watchful eyes of the gods. The entire human world is like a lab rat trapped under a glass dome, completely exposed to the gods. This is the axis of the human realm.
But the gods don't dare do anything to us, because there's an even more ruthless force above them—the so-called Heavenly Way. It's like humans and nature; nature seems innocent and weak, but if humans dare to cut down all the trees and kill all the animals, something called the laws of nature won't let you off easy.
He Tiandou overturned the axis of the human realm, which was originally a matter that could be considered minor or major, but the Heavenly Court used force against him. Our Heavenly Dao Brother turned a blind eye, since He Tiandou was in the wrong first. Then, the King of Hell made a mistake in the Book of Life and Death, but fortunately, they took remedial measures, and the Heavenly Dao Brother didn't say anything, since it wasn't intentional. However, when these two incidents got mixed up, and Ersha, who was supposed to receive a refund insurance, was implicated in the mess caused by He Tiandou, the Heavenly Dao Brother was completely enraged. He thought to himself, "What kind of mess is this? None of my underlings and those bastards in the Heavenly Court are good people; they're always causing me trouble." But out of a sense of responsibility, he still sent Ersha and the others back first, waiting for them to change history so he would have an excuse to deal with these bastards. It's like the government letting you mine; you can mine, but if you operate secretly and then have an accident and don't report it, what are you waiting for if not to be punished?
But these bastards weren't going to sit idly by and wait to die, so they came to me. I practically had "My profession is cleaning up the messes for Heaven" written all over my forehead.
But I still have to do it. Haven't you heard? If you don't, you'll be killed along with gods. I'm both a human and a god now, so I'll probably be killed twice. How tragic.
Thinking back, Liu Laoliu, representing the Heavenly Court, wasn't entirely without premonition. First, he gave me a harmless mind-reading ability to play around with—this was during peacetime. Then he gave me a bunch of "mother-child biscuits" to deal with the Four Heavenly Kings. After defeating the Four Heavenly Kings, my opponents escalated to the Mafia, so he gave me Air Force One for bulletproof protection. Finally, he simply paid me with the salaries of several emperors—his motives were quite ambiguous; he probably already sensed that something was about to happen.
But as the saying goes, a slow start leads to a slow finish. The Heavenly Court is still too inexperienced to defy the Heavenly Dao.
Let's not say anything more and get to work.
Liu Laoliu said to He Tiandou, "Tell Xiaoqiang about the precautions."
He Tiandou nodded. He first took out a thermometer-like object and handed it to me, saying, "This is a simple scale I designed based on the human world axis, marked with dynasties. You need to know where you are first. You can go to any dynasty of the clients who have stayed here. Other dynasties are grayed out for now, which means you can't stop here. It's no use trying to stop."
I said dejectedly, "So, my wish to drive to see my grandfather is now dashed?"
He Tiandou said, "For example, if you're going to the Qin Dynasty this time, there are markings here, and a pointer underneath. When the pointer points to the Qin Dynasty, you just need to step on the brakes."
I exclaimed in surprise, "It's that simple? That's such a foolproof method!"
He Tiandou said, "Another thing to be careful about is what you bring. Apart from what you already have in your car, you can't bring anything that doesn't belong to that era. Of course, this is just a reminder. If you really want to bring something, that's fine too. They will become raw materials at some point. For example, if you wear a Shanghai watch, it might become what it was before it was manufactured when you drive to the 1970s or 80s. The strap will become leather, and the dial will become steel. Going back further, to the era before they were even made, they will disappear."
I had a wild idea: "If someone else sat on it, wouldn't it be the same thing?"
He Tiandou replied earnestly, "Yes!"
I exclaimed, "So that means I can make a woman stay 18 forever by kicking her!" A 100-year-old woman, I could drive to the 1930s, kick her out, and she'd be a young girl!
He Tiandou said, "It's not as simple as you think. Once the car starts, the minimum time span is decades. If you dare to take someone with you, that person could easily be gone in a flash."
I felt a chill run down my spine and quickly said, "Alright, let's get down to business. How do I get there?"
Liu Laoliu said, "That's my problem. I've already accelerated your car. Drive it and go up to the maximum speed, and it will enter the historical track. Then it's simple. Just do as Lao He said and stop when the pointer reaches the position. Remember, once your car stops, it needs to rest for at least three days, otherwise it will fall apart."
Things seem quite simple.
I finally asked, "Um... I only have one blue potion. Even if I find Fatty or Jing Ke, how do I get them to take it? Fatty is the emperor, so that goes without saying. Jing Ke also seems to have quite a few followers. It's actually about as difficult as poisoning him."
Liu Laoliu patted my shoulder and said, "That depends on your intelligence, Xiaoqiang. Besides, you're not completely without options. You still have a mind-reading phone that can be used five times a day, five mother-and-child biscuits, and four pieces of chewing gum that can change your expression. You have to understand, this is the best I can do. After telling you so much, you should have a pretty good understanding of the Heavenly Dao. If we directly modify your body to give you divine power, it will trigger its changes. In that case, we can handle it ourselves. These special abilities hidden in the biscuit phone can barely fool it. Yes, they won't become raw materials."
I snapped my fingers: "Okay, I'll go now then?"
"Wait... there's another challenge: the first time you drive through history might be quite thrilling, so you'll need a 1000-meter extended track."
"Then why?"
"Once your car starts moving, it will be much faster than the speed of light. You'll need an adjustment period the first time you run it. When the timeline pointer that Lao He gave you starts moving, it means you've already exceeded the speed of light. At this point, no one can see you, and no obstacle will be a problem. You can pass right through them. But the first time you run it will definitely be a bit scary, so you'll have to get used to it slowly."
I didn't think much of it, walked to the car, patted the door, and said, "You can wear it now, right?"
Liu Laoliu nodded.
I opened the car door and got in, placing the timeline He Tiandou had given me at the front: "I'll give it a try first."
The lawns in our villa area are very spacious. I estimated the distance from the entrance of the community to the last house to be about 1,000 meters. I drove the car at the starting line, started it, and shifted into fourth gear in less than 30 meters—back in the day, I could do 100-meter acceleration and deceleration in a flash, and I even got my license.
A strange thing happened. With the car in fourth gear and the accelerator pressed, it was already over 80 mph. Normally, this car would easily make a racket at 60 mph, but this time it was running smoothly. I pressed the accelerator again, and the speedometer went wild, slicing through half a circle – it was already over 120 mph. I started slowly and aggressively flooring the accelerator. The villas that had lined both sides of the road suddenly rushed past like railings in my view. My hair stood on end; this was at least 400 mph!
I tentatively pressed the accelerator a little, and the scenery on both sides blurred instantly, while the car remained eerily quiet. I thought, even Hamilton would instinctively step on the brakes at that moment, right?