Chapitre 542

The messenger asked in astonishment, "Can he listen to me?"

Hua Mulan said, "Just say what I said."

The messenger hesitated before running down the mountain and explaining the situation to Old He. Old He, as expected, dejectedly dismounted. He had said that the entire battle would be under Hua Xianfeng's command; to go back on his word would be to shoot himself in the foot. Besides, he was already preparing to relinquish power; to compete with his successor for attention would be incredibly rude. However, it must be said that Hua Mulan, being a girl, was clever and shrewd; a man would never possess such a cunning and meticulous mind.

I asked, "Why not let Lao He stand his last shift?"

Hua Mulan said, "We can't let the Rouran think this is a pre-arranged conspiracy, so he should act like a marshal. Besides... what if something really happens to him?"

At this moment, the adjutant looked at the bloody battlefield and groaned again, "Vanguard Hua, should we send our friendly forces...?"

Mulan glanced at the sky, then observed the expressions of the Xiongnu soldiers—they sat on horseback, swords in hand, their faces expressionless, waiting for their turn to charge, somewhat like the crowds queuing for train tickets during the Spring Festival travel rush—numb, helpless, and mechanical. Meanwhile, Xiang Yu's army was growing restless; every now and then, warhorses familiar with the battlefield would snort and fidget on the ground. Xiang Yu lay listlessly on his horse, looking at them pitifully. Mulan said, "Now's the time! Give the signal for a mass charge!"

Upon hearing this, the messenger excitedly shook the small flag. Xiang Yu initially thought he was seeing things, but when the flag shook a second time, he suddenly sat up and roared, "Charge with me!"

In fact, before he could even utter the word "charge," Black Tiger pounced like a real tiger descending a mountain. His meteor hammer, gleaming with a whistling sound, and each link of the chain spun with blades, swept down the mountainside like a giant, out-of-control propeller. The Xiongnu soldiers, their faces turned to him, were caught completely off guard and were instantly slaughtered by Black Tiger, a mass of them killed like sharp knives piercing deep into plump, juicy flesh.

The appearance of Black Tiger was merely a minor accident. When Xiang Yu led his 400-plus guards and suddenly lined up on the hilltop, someone in the enemy camp immediately shouted, "It's him! The Murderous Demon King!" The Xiongnu soldiers erupted in uproar. It seemed that the story of Xiang Yu's 500 men slaughtering 5,000 had already spread widely among them, and this time, this "Murderous Demon King" had brought 50,000 men with him…

Just as Mulan had predicted, this surprise attack dealt a heavy blow to the Xiongnu. They never expected a large number of enemy troops to appear on their flank, let alone that this enemy force was led by the great mass murderer Xiang Yu and his 50,000 lesser mass murderers—Xiang Yu's guards were all dressed in the same clothes as the surrounding Chu soldiers. Although the ordinary soldiers were not as brave as them, they were enough to confuse the enemy!

The Xiongnu army collapsed without warning. Exhausted, their horses were frozen in place, unable to move forward or backward; a cavalry without momentum was no longer a complete cavalry force. Xiang Yu and his forces, on the other hand, were attacking from the high hillside. The Xiongnu were like a bloated, weak man being struck by a massive hammer—at this moment, even 50,000 monkeys that only knew how to throw stones would be enough to overwhelm them.

First came the psychological collapse, coupled with objective factors, and the local Xiongnu forces scattered in an instant. From a distance, the vast area was suddenly filled with Chu troops, like a fat sea cucumber with a piece bitten off by a shark.

Hua Mulan said quietly, "Now I understand why Brother Xiang said that the deaths of his 51 guards could save many people. If it weren't for that battle, Rouran wouldn't have collapsed so quickly. The deaths of those 51 people could have saved the lives of 5,000 people."

On the battlefield, Xiang Yu and his ugly guards naturally became the main characters once again. Not content with monotonous slaughter, Xiang Yu left 50,000 Chu troops to fight the enemy while he led his ugly guards towards the Chanyu (Xiongnu ruler). Still in sharp arrow formation, these 450 men moved through the enemy ranks as if they were nothing. Amidst the animal hides and iron armor, Xiang Yu approached the Chanyu at a visible speed. I exclaimed excitedly, "Look! Look! Taking the head of a general amidst ten thousand soldiers! I've heard of it, but never seen it before. Today we're in for a treat!"

Hua Mulan said worriedly, "Brother Xiang is exceptionally brave, but he always likes to take risks alone. Even if he wins the world, his subjects will not be at peace. Therefore, he is a good general, but not a good ruler."

I said, "Only someone like Bangzi, who lives a life of ignominy, is suitable to be an emperor?"

Hua Mulan said, "That's just how it is sometimes."

I smacked my lips and said, "Well, I think I'm more suited to be emperor than he is."

By this time, Xiang Yu had advanced to within 50 meters of the Chanyu, who still refused to retreat. As the leader of hundreds of thousands of fierce barbarians, he was naturally a ruthless man. Moreover, he understood that if he retreated even a step, his troops would be completely finished. The Northern Wei army's morale had soared since Xiang Yu's appearance, and they were intensifying their efforts to take down enemy leaders. The Chu army was also winning victory after victory, and at this moment, they were all relying on the limited morale that the Chanyu could provide to resist.

But these mere 50 meters were fraught with countless dangers. The Xiongnu cavalry were densely packed in between, and it would probably take half a day to cut them apart even with a chainsaw. Xiang Yu's spear whistled and hissed, killing anyone who stood in its way. The enemies in front of him fell one after another, but like water, as soon as he parted, someone else would fill the gap. He couldn't advance another step in these mere 50 meters.

Marshal He stared blankly at Xiang Yu and murmured, "I'm afraid even if the King of Chu were to be resurrected, he wouldn't be any better than this." Then he added, "No, I'm afraid he wouldn't be able to compare to Brother Xiang before me."

That's right. The former King Xiang Yu was an alcoholic, cruel, and tyrannical bastard with bloodshot eyes. Now, Xiang Yu has just married A Yu and has a six-month-old son. He has given up drinking and smoking (involuntarily), and he doesn't eat anything that raises cholesterol. His former imposing belly is now a sexy six-pack. How could he not be strong?

But no matter how hard he fought, he could never get close to the Chanyu. Every time he painstakingly slid forward a few steps, the Chanyu could easily move back and all his efforts would be in vain. Enraged, Xiang Yu suddenly gripped his iron spear and hurled it. At that moment, everyone on the battlefield stopped and looked over. I had already witnessed the power of Xiang Yu's spear once. Sure enough, the spear pierced through countless chests, making a sickeningly sharp sound, heading straight for the Chanyu. It seemed destined to succeed, but its final force failed, piercing the head of the last Xiongnu guard, the spear tip stopping between the Chanyu's eyes. The Chanyu's eyes met, and he was so frightened he almost fell from his horse. After a moment, he began to bluff and shout.

I was so anxious on the mountain that I jumped up and down repeatedly, suddenly shouting, "Xiang Ji, don't you know the story of our elder brother?" Well, actually, I could just shout "Learn from Comrade Yang Guo" directly, as long as I didn't reveal that he was going to use a stone. But wouldn't shouting it like this sound more resounding?

At this moment, the battlefield was completely silent. Xiang Yu was stunned for a moment when he heard me shout, and immediately realized that I was telling him to learn how Yang Guo used stones. Before Ni Siyu, Xiang Yu had already asked me who Yang Guo was because of my casual remark, "daring to laugh at Yang Guo for not being devoted to love."

As soon as Xiang Yu touched himself all over on horseback, I knew something bad was about to happen. Xiang Yu wasn't Zhang Qing, nor did he practice the Flying Dagger technique; how could he possibly have any hidden weapons? Yet, Xiang Yu pulled something from his robes and flung it out. Before the guards in front of the Chanyu could even cover him, he saw a small, bright, square object fly towards him. In the light, four large characters, written in barely legible Central Plains calligraphy, were the words: China Mobile. He hesitated for a moment, and it struck him squarely on the forehead. "Ouch!" the Chanyu cried out, tumbling off his horse. The combined forces of Northern Wei and Chu cheered loudly and charged forward. The Chanyu's guards were shocked. They helped him back onto his horse and saw that their master wasn't dead, but merely unconscious, with several rows of strange symbols embedded in his flesh on his forehead. Relieved, they hastily covered their unconscious leader as they fled northwest. The remaining Xiongnu, no longer willing to resist, collapsed like a house of cards, fleeing in disarray. When Xiang Yu arrived at the lost telephone, he saw that it had been trampled to a crisp by the chaotic horses and was now thinner than paper. He was furious and raised his arm, shouting, "All Chu troops, follow me and pursue them for 50 li!" It seems that the loss of a telephone in this battle greatly angered Xiang Yu, the King of Chu.

Fearing for Xiang Yu's safety, Mulan hastily ordered the Northern Wei army to pursue him. I laughed and said, "Brother Yu is really angry this time, mainly because there's a picture of your wife on that phone."

Hua Mulan chuckled. Seeing that Lao He's shoulder was wrapped in thick bandages and he was watching others cheer and chase after the Xiongnu, she said to the messenger, "Go and tell the marshal to lead men to pursue the Rouran."

The messenger, who had witnessed several extraordinary events that day and was already in awe of Mulan, still hesitated, asking, "Is this... appropriate?" After all, the idea of a vanguard officer ordering the marshal was too sensational.

Hua Mulan laughed and said, "If you go quickly, he might reward you with something if he's in a good mood."

Sure enough, Marshal He was so happy to hear this that he stroked his beard and laughed. He rewarded the messenger with something, and then led his men to chase after the messenger like wild horses.

The pursuit continued until nightfall before the main force of the allied army slowly returned to camp, having captured countless enemy supplies and beheaded numerous. In fact, the main force of the Xiongnu hadn't suffered any significant damage initially, but this retreat completely devastated them. Because when 120,000 fight against 200,000, even if the enemy fights brilliantly, you might only suffer fewer deaths. But in a retreat, it's different. Those in front will never turn back to help others, and those behind will certainly not stop to resist. Running ahead might save their lives, but stopping means certain death. So, with hundreds of thousands of people running ahead, even if only a few thousand are chasing, the losses will always be limited to the fleeing side. Moreover, the allied army had mobilized almost its entire force and had been chasing them for a whole day.

This battle resulted in the annihilation of approximately 50,000 enemy troops, with the Northern Wei army suffering fewer than 10,000 casualties and the Chu army suffering negligible losses. This victory rendered the Rouran and Xiongnu incapable of further southward invasions, bringing long-term peace and stability to the people of Northern Wei. I don't know what happened to this Xiongnu force in the end; they probably went to Europe.

The Xiongnu chieftain, struck in the forehead by Xiang Yu, survived. Because Xiang Yu's candybar phone had embossed numbers, and due to Xiang Yu's strong grip, the symbols on the keypad were clearly imprinted on the chieftain's head. According to the chieftain's later recollection, the strange object didn't hit very fast, but it was gleaming and terrifying, as if it could suck away one's soul. The four Chinese characters, in particular, left an indelible and terrifying impression on him. Xiang Yu said he hesitated greatly when he pulled out the phone, unsure whether to throw it as a weapon, as using a phone that way would be too costly. His hesitation slowed him down. As for the four Chinese characters, needless to say, it was because Xiang Yu pressed any key. And this was before unlocking; after unlocking, the screen saver was a picture of a steamed bun, which was even more frightening.

The symbols left on the head of the Chanyu were copied down and studied by his people. Their Chanyu said that they were curses or hints from heaven, and the matter was eventually dropped. However, some people found it convenient to use these symbols as corresponding numbers when they were bored. For example, "1" represents one, "2" represents two, and the two numbers together represent twelve. In this way, they no longer had to draw strings of dots when counting.

No one knows whether they brought this advanced method to the countries they invaded. If they did, it might have developed into "Roman numerals," which would have been 100 years earlier than the Indians who invented Arabic numerals.

Chapter 184 The Heartthrob

Halfway through the battle, even I, a layman, could foresee the outcome. Mulan led her troops in pursuit of the Xiongnu. As she watched both the enemy and her own forces gradually disappear from sight, she exclaimed with emotion, "Finally, we have lived up to everyone's expectations. The people can enjoy a few years of peace."

I said, "And you?"

Hua Mulan smiled and said, "Like you said, I'll find a man and get married."

"...Anyone you like?" Spending every day among men, probably no one knows the quality of each person better than Mulan. That's what it means to infiltrate the enemy's ranks.

Hua Mulan said, "You mean my soldiers? They're all great brothers, but as for choosing a husband, I've never even considered it. If a brother who's been with you for 10 years suddenly turned into a woman and wanted to marry you, could you handle that?"

I laughed and said, "That's pretty close, we're almost at the level of ethical novels."

As dusk fell, the warriors returned one by one. They dismounted and stared blankly at Mulan. Mulan waved to her former comrades, but only a few of the rough men seemed to snap out of their daze, waving helplessly with bewildered expressions. Mulan asked curiously, "What's wrong?"

I whispered a reminder: "Sis, your hair..."

Mulan's hair, flowing long and smooth as ever since the start of the battle, was draped over her shoulders. She was already a beautiful girl with large eyes, and now, the evening breeze gently lifted her hair. Although the soldiers had already assumed their vanguard was a brave and fierce general, they could now clearly see that she was a girl…

Mulan cried out "Ouch!" and hurriedly went to help him. Xiang Yu had already strode up the mountain, saying in a loud and boisterous voice, "Sister, you fought a brilliant battle!" The crowd below was even more astonished, staring at Mulan without blinking.

Mulan said nervously in a low voice, "Are you trying to get yourself killed? What are you yelling about?"

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