On the way back, the arrangements were the same as when we came; Liu Bang, Baozi, and I rode in the same car. I asked him, "Bangzi, what happened to your wife and Fengfeng in the end?"
Liu Bang leaned back in the back seat and said, "Don't even mention it. Fengfeng has completely fooled my wife. Now that woman is very interested in counterfeit brands and is planning to partner with Fengfeng." Liu Bang concluded with a sigh, "I've discovered that these two women are better at scheming than I am!"
...
Li Shishi's worries thankfully didn't cause any chaos. Although my clients came from different eras, they all had compatible partners, and the temporary teams formed a harmonious and fun-filled atmosphere. Apart from the fact that 300 might still need to use the old tents, everything else was fine, and I was too lazy to worry about it.
After returning home, Baozi took over the care of the food that shouldn't have been left to us and cooked a delicious meal herself. Before long, a sumptuous feast was laid out on the table. Fatty Ying sniffed and said, "I have to say, Baozi, the taste is absolutely wonderful."
Xiang Yu's old illness relapsed, and he said smugly, "Of course, we are descendants of the Xiang family."
Baozi wiped his hands and said, "Qiangzi, fill up all the wine. Today, everyone is finally here—Xiaoxiang is still drinking a beverage."
Cao Xiaoxiang protested, "I'm already 13 years old!"
Xiang Yu chimed in, "That's right, when I was 13 years old..."
Liu Bang snorted and said, "Wait until your son grows up before you say that."
Speaking of his son, I asked Qin Shi Huang, "Brother Ying, what about Fusu? Are you really comfortable with him hanging out with a rogue artist? He might be wandering into the girls' dormitory at the art academy right now."
The fat man smiled and said, "Do whatever you want, I don't care if you're hungry."
Wu Sangui said, "How can that be allowed? We must manage it. It would be outrageous if he lost the country because he became a great painter."
Li Shishi chimed in, "Let's just let the children pursue their interests. The older brother can be an artist, and the younger brother can inherit the family business. Anyway, Brother Ying has two sons..."
I slapped the table and said, "Guys, I don't remember our conversations being this vulgar before. How did we end up talking about the next generation?"
Hua Mulan asked, "Then what do you want me to do that I shouldn't do in the future?"
I suddenly became animated and began to speak eloquently: "My son, he's absolutely a genius. He's skilled in music, chess, calligraphy, painting, playing musical instruments, singing, and more. He won the Math Olympiad at 12, joined the Writers' Association at 15, and abandoned literature for martial arts at 18, becoming invincible. He knows everything from bows and swords to archery, horsemanship, and footwork. He knows women on the bed and shoes off the bed..."
She shouldn't have burst into tears.
Baozi threw a chopstick at him: "If you keep talking nonsense, I'll give my son to Qin Hui rather than let you take him."
Mulan suppressed a laugh and said, "See? The problem isn't that we can't talk about sons, but whose sons we should talk about."
Liu Bang said, "It was wrong of Hu Hai to break the wheel. I'd like to ask if your sons have any nice names?"
Ersha Lengding said, "Your name is quite nice. I'll let my son call you by your name when I have him in the future."
Liu Bang angrily retorted, "No way! You get up yourself!"
Ersha covered the radio to his ears, his eyes scanning the table from both sides. Anyone caught in his gaze would tremble with fear: "Don't look at me!"
Ersha withdrew his gaze and said with distress, "It's hard to come up with a name. What should we name our son?"
Zhao Bailian suggested, "Why don't we think of a name first and then have a son?"
Next, the two fools high-fived and exclaimed, "Yay! Great idea—"
We were speechless when Zhang Qing knocked on the door and said, "Xiao Qiang, do you still have any wine in your room? Can I borrow some?"
I opened the door and handed him a few bottles of baijiu (Chinese liquor). Just as I sat down, Dong Ping knocked again: "Xiao Qiang, lend me some liquor." I opened the door again and got the liquor. Just as I sat down, Li Kui knocked: "Xiao Qiang, liquor!"
When Zhang Fei came to knock on the door, I shouted, "No more wine!"
Zhang Fei declared to himself, "I have it!"
"...Then what do you want to borrow?"
"Borrow some vegetables..." So none of the three brothers, Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei, knew how to cook.
After seeing Zhang Fei off, Wu Zetian came again, saying she wanted to borrow a mahjong set and two chairs. Before leaving, she invited us, saying she had a mahjong table in her room, but was short one player. Zhao Kuangyin's brother, Zhao Guangyi, eagerly came to borrow a nutcracker; needless to say, Zhao Kuangyin was too lazy to use an axe this time. Later, more and more people came, borrowing increasingly bizarre things. Finally, I simply left the door open, letting anyone take whatever they wanted. By 11 pm, besides the chairs we were sitting on, there was practically nothing left to take. Zhu Yuanzhang strolled around, then suddenly pointed to the rear-projection TV on the wall: "You don't want to watch this, do you? I'm taking it."
I finally couldn't help but ask, "Don't you have a TV in your room?" When Liu Laoliu's house was delivered to me, it was fully furnished and equipped with all the appliances.
Zhu Yuanzhang spread his hands and said, "Old Li in the living room is watching 'The Long Ballad of Zhenguan,' and Old Tie in the bedroom is watching 'Genghis Khan.' I'd also like to watch 'The Ming Dynasty.'"
Finally, unable to bear it any longer, I rushed out, kicked open a random door, and shouted while holding a plate, "I'm jealous today, can I borrow some crabs!"
Chapter 218 The Most Chaotic in History
After the first day of hardship, the days that followed were much easier. In fact, these historical figures didn't have much time for leisure; almost without exception, the rooms of the emperors became temporary offices for their respective dynasties. Apart from the concubines like Chen Yuanyuan and Wu Zetian who spent their days playing mahjong, everyone else was very busy. Especially after I informed them that the military route wouldn't be closed, the important figures began to use this opportunity to seek benefits for their countries and establish bilateral relations. Liu Bei and Sun Quan even managed to get Cao Cao to sign a tripartite treaty of never attacking each other, because they had heard through rumors that Cao Cao was secretly plotting to purchase 10 Type 85 cannons from Zhu Yuanzhang.
One day, I was passing by Zhu Yuanzhang's gate when I saw a small banquet being held inside. Just as I was about to go in, Hu Yier stopped me. I said with dissatisfaction, "Can't I just go in and have a drink?"
Hu Yier said mysteriously, "You can't drink this wine."
Looking inside, I finally saw something. The attendees were all generals under Zhu Yuanzhang, including Xu Da and Chang Yuchun. The host of the banquet was Zhao Kuangyin... Before drinking this wine, you're a general; after drinking it, you're just a nouveau riche.
The traditional Chinese medicine anti-cancer vaccine developed by Bian Que and Hua Tuo has finally been successful. However, the main function of this medicine at present is prevention. The type B vaccine that can attack cancer cells has been officially put on the agenda.
Emperor Kangxi will have to stay with me for another year before he can return home. However, he has already reached an agreement with Wu Sangui that the first thing he will do upon his return is to designate Yunnan as a special economic zone, because currently only the Yunnan region in the Qing Dynasty can circulate the Yucai currency...
As for Yue Fei during Emperor Gaozong's reign, whether or not he resisted the Jin dynasty was no longer relevant. The reason is clear to everyone: with Wanyan Wuzhu, the biggest traitor, mediating, the Jin army quickly withdrew across the board. As usual, Emperor Gaozong bestowed a noble title upon Yue Fei, the marshal who had made great contributions. Whether he drank the wine of relinquishing his military power is unknown, but in any case, Marshal Yue was remembered in history and achieved great success.
This is how I spent the last three months: every morning, the first thing I heard upon waking was the resounding bugle call of Yue Fei's army; around eight or nine o'clock, the sound of Wu Zetian and her ilk playing mahjong would rang out next door. At noon, the culinary masters of various dynasties would display their skills, and as usual, I would send our servants from the Xiao Mansion to "beg for alms," resulting in a continuous stream of dishes from the Qin Dynasty (pita bread soaked in mutton soup), the Han Dynasty (fine wine), and Mongolian roast meat. After eating, I would listen to a piece of Yu Boya playing the piano, watch the masters painting, and sometimes even add a few strokes of surrealism myself. In the afternoons and evenings, the generals would usually spar in the courtyard, with Erpang occasionally joining in the fun. Luo Cheng was thoroughly impressed by Zhao Yun's spear skills…
The happiest one here, needless to say, is Baozi!
This woman would hold my son every day, chatting idly with the neighbors, playing mahjong with the other side, and when she had nothing else to do, she would leave the child at his maternal grandmother's house to run around with Empress Lü, all under the guise of "market research."
Fengfeng and Empress Lü jointly opened a ready-made clothing company called "Tianfeng Mingpin," and the name Tianfeng was also a joint choice between them. Fengfeng simply chose her own name, while Empress Lü felt that her status as Empress should include the character "Tian" (天, meaning heaven/heaven), thus creating the trademark Tianfeng. Fengfeng really benefited greatly this time, because we know that Fengfeng's full name is actually Guo Tianfeng, and also—Fengfeng's previous company was also called Tianfeng…