She will definitely understand the second half of the sentence.
Zhao Xiyin didn't say anything, but simply reached out and hugged his waist, resting her face on his stomach in a silent embrace.
It was at this moment that Zhou Qishen made up his mind. Zhao Xiyin was his wife, and whether she lived or died, she was his.
The faint glow of the digital clock serves as a reminder that yesterday is no longer the day.
Zhou Qishen gazed at Zhao Xiyin on the bed, his eyes filled with intense, conflicted, and bewildered emotions, a mixture of past and present, ultimately leaving only regret and remorse. Unable to restrain himself, Zhou Qishen reached out and trembled as he covered the back of her hand.
Her body temperature was still burning hot, and she was soft and slender. How much suffering must she have endured over the years?
Zhou Qishen's eyes were red.
"Hey..." Zhao Xiyin suddenly spoke, her breath weak, but she couldn't hide the smile that lingered at the corner of her mouth. She opened her eyes and looked over, bewildered. "Zhou Qishen, you really know how to take advantage of me."
Zhou Qishen remained calm, his eyes as still as the deep ocean.
He pulled his hand out from under the blanket and placed it precisely on her lower abdomen. His palm was burning hot, seeping through the cashmere sweater and into her skin, even more scorching than her feverish body temperature.
Zhao Xiyin was stunned.
He asked in a hoarse voice, "Xi'er, does it still hurt?"
Chapter 60 If the mountain won't come to me, I'll go to the mountain (2)
A jolt ran through her body, and she shuddered. After a moment of silence, Zhao Xiyin asked, "You know everything?"
At this point, there's no need for us to keep secrets from each other anymore.
Zhou Qishen lowered his head, bowed, and removed his hand from her abdomen, then took her hand in his. He gave her a light, almost imperceptible kiss, his eyes filled with melancholy.
Actually, when Zhao Xiyin first arrived, she had already guessed the reason for his sudden change in behavior. But now that it's been confirmed, the regret and remorse in her heart resurfaced. In the past, which had wounded her both physically and mentally, she was ultimately the one who suffered the most.
When Zhao Xiyin discovered she was pregnant, her condition was already quite bad.
She had been bleeding for five or six days, a persistent, dripping discharge. She wore sanitary pads every day, but the bleeding was increasing, and her stomach pain was worsening. Why did she decide to go to the hospital? She fainted at Zhao Lingxia's villa, just as she was about to go down the stairs. She fainted and tumbled down the stairs.
The dozen or so steps weren't high or steep, but she still fell and got bruised and battered.
Upon examination, the doctor found that the embryo was now just an empty sac. After reviewing the test results and ultrasound report, the doctor said that the embryo was already underdeveloped and had been detected early. The best they could do was try to save the pregnancy, but the chances were slim. In short, there was no chance for mother and child to develop.
Zhao Xiyin was depressed for a long time. She stayed in the United States for more than two months and only returned to Beijing after completing her postpartum confinement. Then she went through the divorce proceedings, packed her bags, and ended her ill-fated marriage cleanly.
She traveled across most of China, witnessing the vastness of the sky and sea, the pale moon at dusk, and the changing seasons. That year, on the Nalati Grassland, she sat in a mountain hollow, feeling as if she were floating on the sea. When the wind blew, the grass swayed gently; the grandeur of the world was beyond compare.
At that moment, Zhao Xiyin suddenly felt relieved.
People should look forward, move forward, and learn to fulfill themselves.
She marked the last spot on the map; Xinjiang was the end of her journey. The next day, she bought a high-speed rail ticket and made a last-minute decision to return to Beijing.
She had her miscarriage surgery in the United States. It was an emergency, and she was taken to the nearest hospital. The hospital was small, and the doctors there were young interns. Zhao Xiyin's surgery wasn't done well. Later, Zhao Lingxia helped her find the best gynecologist to treat her. After returning to Beijing, she entrusted her to her friend, Dr. Ji Furong.
Zhao Xiyin recounted the events in fragmented sentences, without emphasizing any emotion. Her understated tone, however, felt like a knife to Zhou Qishen's throat.
He suddenly understood why Zhao Lingxia had slapped Zhao Xiyin twice in front of everyone the night she returned to China. It was partly out of disappointment, but more so out of heartache for her naivety and a desire to wake her up so she wouldn't suffer at the hands of men again.
Zhou Qishen pulled the person into his arms and choked out, "Don't say anymore, don't say anymore."
Zhao Xiyin's voice was clear and her tone was relaxed, "If I don't say anything, will it not happen?"
Zhou Qishen felt a jolt in his chest, speechless, only holding her even tighter.
“It’s in the past, I’ve accepted it. We weren’t meant to be.” After a pause, Zhao Xiyin added softly, “Actually, it’s still a pity.”
Zhou Qishen lowered his face and buried it in her neck, and warm tears flowed down his face.
In reality, men can often shoulder more responsibility than women, but women are often much stronger internally than men. Zhao Xiyin is this type of woman; she knows how to convince herself and how to make informed choices.
Whether it was Meng Weixi or Zhou Qishen, when she loved, it was pure and passionate, without any deception. When she was disappointed and sad, she didn't linger or compromise. She didn't look back when breaking up, and when divorcing, she was ruthless. At that time, she truly hated and was truly angry. Just hearing Zhou Qishen's name made her feel nauseous, so she simply left Beijing, far away from the emperor's reach, out of sight, out of mind.
I'll come back in two years.
I've calmed down, let go of the past, and gradually figured things out.
"As for that boy named Vivi, he's a child my aunt adopted from an orphanage in California. His background is quite pitiful, so I won't go into details. That child likes to call me Mommy, probably because... he feels that my aunt is too old to call me that." Zhao Xiyin smiled, very softly.
Zhou Qishen remained silent, suppressing the tears welling up in his eyes.
I didn't dare say it, I didn't dare ask it.
If our child were still alive, he would be the same age as him by now.
This was the longest and most brutal New Year's Eve Zhao Xiyin had ever experienced. When midnight struck, the neon lights outside the floor-to-ceiling windows displayed their most dazzling effects, illuminating a large area of the dark bedroom. The television in the living room was still on, with the New Year's Eve hosts cheering in unison.
Zhao Xiyin and Zhou Qishen embraced silently. In the interplay of light and shadow, Zhao Xiyin finally heard a hoarse voice.
"Happy New Year, Xiaoxi."
——
During the three-day New Year's holiday, Zhao Lingxia, unusually kind, allowed Zhao Wenchun's family to reunite. The three of them spent a day soaking in a hot spring in the suburbs of Beijing. Actually, they didn't care where they went; as long as the family was together, Teacher Zhao was happy!
Zhao Xiyin didn't go home on New Year's Eve; she had a high fever. She and Li Ran rehearsed their lines, and Li Ran was to call Teacher Zhao and ask her to stay overnight. The two were as close as sisters, and Teacher Zhao didn't suspect anything and readily agreed.
Li Ran sent a particularly mischievous WeChat message in the middle of the night: "Can you stand your ex-husband... But men who have been holding back for so long actually finish very quickly."
Zhao Xiyin burned the fire all night and only saw the WeChat message the next day, feeling a wave of sorrow. What nonsense was she talking about? Her ex-husband had vanished long ago, leaving a note saying he'd gone to Hangzhou on a business trip. Everything at home was arranged; a housekeeper was making breakfast in the kitchen, her uniform neat and tidy. She wondered where he'd found such a domestic helper so early in the morning.