Dan Medizin - Kapitel 10
Thinking of this, I felt the situation was a little better, and I was about to speak when Bai Ya's voice suddenly came from not far away: "You old hag, I'm back—hey, Young Master Yin?"
Yin Liuchuan stood up and smiled at Bai Ya, "Miss Tongqian was feeling a little unwell, so I asked her about it."
"Her? She was full of energy just now," Bai Ya said, somewhat incredulous but still looking over with concern. "Are you alright?"
"It's alright, I'll be fine after sitting here for a while."
"Do you want me to help you back to your room to rest?" It was Yin Liuchuan who said this, and he was looking at me with affection and smiling.
"No need," I replied firmly.
Yin Liuchuan glanced at me with a smirk, then turned to Bai Ya and said, "Then I'll go find your palace master right now. I'm still thinking about that game of chess from last time. We drew last time, and this time I'm determined to beat him no matter what."
"Then I'll see the young master off," Bai Ya said respectfully, giving me a furtive glare before leading Yin Liuchuan away.
I was too lazy to move, so I continued to sit against the tree, my mind racing with all sorts of possibilities and coping strategies for the next month. I even considered running away now, but I dismissed the idea. Let alone Qing Jiu, now there's that wretched Yin Liuchuan on top of that. Whether I can escape or not is another matter. If I really do run away, maybe Young Master Yin will reveal the "truth," and then I'll be "at peace with the world."
As I thought about it, I really started to feel unwell. Had Yin Liuchuan's words become so vicious as to be curse-like...?
Feeling a bad premonition, I spread my legs and looked down...
Even a strong, independent woman can't stop menstruation from coming...
...
A tough woman is most vulnerable when she gets her period. I immediately stopped practicing swordsmanship, asked Huamei for some menstrual pads, changed my clothes, washed my pants, and immediately went to bed and curled up.
At times like these, I most cherish the memories of life on the mountain. On Luowu Mountain, Li Yiyao would stay up late to rub my stomach until I fell asleep, other disciples would take over my chores, Old Man Yu would awkwardly bring me a jar of brown sugar, and Zhou Bapi spent a lot of time researching how to expel the yin energy from my body. Life on the mountain was simple, but there were truly people who cared about me. Now that I've finally come down the mountain, I find life even more tiring—tired from acting, and even more so because my weary heart has no one to rely on. All I see is the coldness of people's hearts; just looking at it makes me feel cold, and it seems I'm slowly becoming like that myself. All the talk of helping those in need, upholding justice, and chivalrous spirit has been buried under the pretext of self-preservation. I learned martial arts for this very reason. Will I one day follow in my father's footsteps for my own selfish reasons? Or is this what growing up and maturing is like?
I felt an even more intense pain, and my whole body curled up into a ball, like a wounded little animal, slowly falling into a deep sleep to escape the inner questioning.
I'm still so fragile, so arrogant...
...
I was groggily woken up by Hua Mei in the evening. I rubbed my temples and groggily sat down at the dining table, only to find that Yin Liuchuan was also there. In my memory, this guy had never stayed for a meal before, so he was probably here because of what happened during the day.
Sure enough, before I could even sit down, I was pulled to Yin Liuchuan's side. I sat down in a daze, and when I came to my senses, I suddenly found a pile of food in my bowl. Yin Liuchuan was all smiles, while the Palace Master of Tian Shu and the three guardians had inscrutable expressions. Everyone was looking at me.
I picked up my chopsticks and started eating, but after a few bites I found that I really had no appetite. Whenever my period came, I didn't want to do anything and couldn't eat anything.
But now is not the time for me to do as I please. I forced myself to stuff food into my mouth, but then I felt like throwing up, so I had to stop. Before I could even get up, I heard Yin Liuchuan's voice: "What's wrong, Little Copper Coin? You don't look like you have any appetite."
I really want to pull out the menstrual pad from under me and throw it on this damn face.
The dinner table fell even quieter in an instant. Everyone who had started eating stopped and looked at me and Yin Liuchuan. Qing Jiu's gaze was indifferent, but I felt a chill when I saw his unfathomable expression.
So, I decided to shift my focus.
"I'm on my period," I said calmly, without changing my expression.
Bai Ya's chopsticks clattered onto the table. Hua Mei looked at me somewhat awkwardly, Qian Lou coughed uncomfortably, and Yin Liuchuan was also stunned. As for Qing Jiu, the Palace Master of Tian Shu Palace was always calm and composed, and even considerately asked, "Are you feeling very unwell? Should we call a doctor?"
Why call me doctor... I'm passing blood, not a baby. I waved my hand, indicating I didn't need it, and stood up, saying, "I'll just go back and lie down. Please enjoy your meal."
Just as they were about to leave, they heard Qingjiu's voice: "Then you should rest well. We'll leave Luoyang tomorrow."
I was stunned for a moment, and before I could even reply with an "um," I saw Yin Liuchuan smile and say, "Leaving so early? If you don't stay a few more days, I'll really miss Palace Master Qing."
Qingjiu did not respond, but looked at me. His phoenix eyes, which were slightly narrowed, flickered with light, and there was a dark shadow under the corner of his eye. No one knew what he was thinking.
"You're just reluctant to part with your little... copper... coin, aren't you?" Bai Ya said sarcastically.
I looked at Baiya with a blank expression.
“Yes, I hit it off with Miss Copper Coin at first sight,” Yin Liuchuan said, his arms draped over the back of his chair. He raised an eyebrow and smiled at me, his slightly upturned face looking extremely arrogant. He then said to Qing Jiu, “Anyway, I’m quite free, so I might as well join you guys. We haven’t had a martial arts competition in the last few days, so I can easily take care of any minor troubles we encounter.”
Qing Jiu did not refuse, and smiled gently, "In that case, I will trouble Brother Yin again."
It seems my days under the shadow of these two ominous stars are about to be quite eventful. Unable to say anything more, I simply turned and walked away, with a towering middle finger hidden under my sleeve, majestic and unyielding.
Twelve Cups of Prajna Wine
Prajna Wine, Prajna Wine is cold, many drinkers easily sober up, its ancient, mellow aroma crystallizes. Descended to the ranks of Ji Kang and Ruan Ji, it is often placed alongside the most revered. Not only is it offered at the Heavenly Temple, but it is also invited by guest stars.
...
The next morning we set off to continue eastward, and everyone was too busy to travel any longer, so we continued by horse-drawn carriage.
My physical discomfort had subsided considerably, but my hands and feet were still a bit cold. I curled up in the bumpy carriage and took a nap, but eventually woke up because of the cold. I frowned and rubbed my hands, thinking that staying there was uncomfortable anyway, so I decided to go out and follow the carriage to warm up.
As soon as I stood up, a wine jug was thrust in front of me.
The cork had been pulled out, and a fragrant aroma of wine wafted out.
I stared at the wine in the flask, the spicy and slightly astringent aroma rushing into my nose, a soft yet penetrating fragrance that seemed to penetrate deep into my body.
The aroma of the wine seeped into his heart, then flowed throughout his body, causing every muscle, flesh, and meridian to contract and heat up from the stimulating scent. In an instant, the blood in his body felt as if it were boiling, roaring upwards and rushing towards his head, like a torrent smashing open a door in the deepest recesses of his mind. Everything surged into that darkest place and then vanished—blood, strength, breath, resilience—all were swallowed up in his memories.
All I could hear was the roaring sound, and my mind felt like it was being swept away by waves, stripping away all my thoughts and obliterating everything.
I slumped back down, as if trapped in a nightmare, staring intently at the wine jug. Holding the jug was a beautiful hand with long, slender fingers, and the owner's lazy voice came: "You look a little cold, would you like some wine to warm yourself up?"
I snapped out of my daze, shoved the wine jug aside, bent over and gagged. Once I could catch my breath, I jumped out of the speeding carriage and slipped into the dense woods beside the road, leaning against a tree to vomit. My body felt like it was shrinking, its volume getting smaller and smaller, as if it were squeezing out all my internal organs.
Finally, exhausted, I took a few steps back, my legs gave way, and I collapsed to the ground, feeling dizzy and with a splitting headache.
Wine, it's wine...
I curled up into a small ball, burying my head deep inside. Even with my eyes open, I could only see a small, dimly lit space, just like I was still in the wine vat from ten years ago. The smell of alcohol in my breath hadn't dissipated in ten years either.
"...What's wrong with you?" Yin Liuchuan's voice came from behind.
“...When our family was slaughtered, my mother was afraid that the water vat and wardrobe would be too conspicuous, so she hid me in one of the wine vats in the cellar,” I suddenly said, my voice calm. “That wine vat was really big. I could only stand on tiptoe to avoid being submerged in the wine. But the smell of wine was so strong that I was already drunk at such a young age. If I passed out, I would drown. I started to peel the skin off my arms, but eventually it didn’t hurt anymore.”
I tore off almost the entire skin from my arm and endured three hours in a dazed state in the dimly lit vat of liquor. When I finally crawled out, my vision was blurred, filled only with bloodshot red. The room reeked of liquor, as if it had been brewed with the lives of dozens of people from my family.
I stood up, turned around, and looked calmly at Yin Liuchuan and Qing Jiu in front of me. "So thank you for your kindness, but please don't put any more wine in front of me."
Perhaps because my expression was too calm, even indifferent, Qing Jiu stared at me for a long time.
Of course, I wasn't surprised at all that they showed no sympathy or pity. A true martial arts master should never have such thoughts. Those who have entered the martial world never need sympathy, nor do they need to be pitied, and neither do I.
Yin Liuchuan looked at me with a half-smile, and suddenly said, "You've told us your biggest flaw."
I didn't say anything more and walked indifferently towards the line that had stopped.
Young Master Yin, have you forgotten? There's one thing about me that I've always been the same since I was a child.
To be precise, it wasn't lying, it was deception.
Alcohol is the thing I hate most, but it has never been a weakness of mine.
...
To keep up, the carriage moved slowly, following behind for half an hour. This not-too-strenuous exercise probably really helped to clear my menstrual blood, and I felt much better. I went back to the carriage and took another nap. When I woke up, I was completely recovered, and my mood improved as well. This was directly reflected in my heroic act of bravely snatching a chicken leg from Bai Ya's hand that night.
I must have slept too much during the day, because when I woke up in the night, I got up quietly as usual, only to find that I was the only one in the carriage. I lifted a corner of the bamboo curtain of the small window, and there were only Qianlou and Huamei by the campfire.
Bai Ya has probably gone off to do business with Qing Jiu. As for Yin Liuchuan, let him sleepwalk or whatever.
Just as they were about to get up and go for a stroll in the woods, accompanied by at least one protector, they heard voices coming from outside the carriage.
"How...how have you been feeling lately?" Hua Mei's voice asked.
This seemingly trivial question should already have a hidden meaning... Is Qianlou sick, injured, or poisoned?
"...It's alright." Qianlou's voice remained low and indifferent.
"You said you're fine again!" Hua Mei's voice sounded a little agitated. "Then why have you been frowning all the time lately? Even the Palace Master told you not to come out and to stay in the palace to detoxify, but you just wouldn't listen. Look at what dangers there are now, why do you insist on wasting time? Do you want to die so soon?!" By the end, she was almost shouting.
I had noticed Qianlou's constant frowning a long time ago, but he hid it well and never showed any signs of pain. I thought frowning was just a habit of his, but now it seems he's been poisoned, and it's probably incurable or too deeply poisoned.
"We both know that detoxification is just wishful thinking. I only have a few months left, so I might as well do more for the Palace Master."
"How do you know there's no hope if you don't even try? All you think about is Tian Shu Palace; have you even thought about yourself—"
"—Guardian Huamei! Think carefully about what you're saying! If you show any further disloyalty to Tian Shu Palace, I will kill you immediately!"
"You—you're doing just fine!" I heard Hua Mei let out a chilling laugh.
Then, all that could be heard outside the carriage was the crackling sound of burning wood.
I let go of the bamboo curtain and let out a soft sigh.
Everyone, no matter how high their martial arts skills or how strong they seem, has their own worries. Like Qianlou suffering from a deadly poison, like Huamei who only thinks of loyalty to Qianlou, even the proud sons of heaven like Qingjiu and Yin Liuchuan have their own troubles that are unknown to outsiders.
So the so-called carefree, horseback-riding, and wildly singing life is unrealistic, isn't it? I thought that after this period of time, after I could rightfully descend the mountain as a disciple of the Thousand-Year Sect, I could live the kind of carefree, chivalrous life depicted in the legends, but then unexpected changes and worries will arise again.
Humans are born with worries, aren't they?
There was another commotion outside the carriage. Hua Mei and Qian Lou had left. Was it because they were summoned by Ying Qing Jiu?
I pushed open the carriage door and got off. The cool night wind on the desolate road immediately blew onto my body, making me feel chilly.
I find it hard to believe there's really no one around. Qingjiu probably thinks I'm too cautious and suspicious, and besides, my physical condition isn't suitable for escaping. Tian Shu Palace isn't a demonic sect after all. Although they're ruthless, their reputation in the martial arts world is at least that of being both righteous and evil, like Youlong Tian Palace. As for Jinghong Manor, a prestigious sect, they're a typical hypocrite. And as for our Qian Sui Sect, we're the model of hypocrisy.
I leaped onto the carriage canopy with my toes, sat cross-legged, and struck a particularly melancholy pose—looking up at the sky.
The night was like a thin fishing net, trapping a few faint distant stars. Moonlight, like water, poured down through the net, flowing over the wild forest. The treetops were like pebbles on the water's surface, and the rustling of the intertwined branches transformed into the sound of flowing water.
The chirping of insects at midnight is like poetry with its strings ripped apart, its meter broken, turning into a piece of unofficial history about cicadas.
"...The scenery in this world is always more pleasing to the eye than people, isn't it?" I turned my head to look at Yin Liuchuan, who had sat down next to me a few moments ago.
The boy rested his chin on his hand, his eyes unfathomable, his clothes fluttering in the night wind.
"I just realized that you are someone who can calmly appreciate the beauty of nature."
"I only act like this when I'm in a bad mood. Beautiful scenery is the best medicine and is very helpful in calming my mind," I said with a smile, looking down.
"—In a bad mood?" The voice beside me was still languid. "Because I've been bothering you?"
"It only annoys me, not makes me feel down."
Yin Liuchuan glanced at me sideways, a smirk playing on his lips. "Looks like my skills are still pretty shallow."
I stopped joking and suddenly said, "Sometimes I think that life is just a period of unhappiness, and it will be fine once it passes. But when I think about it carefully, life is never really as I wish. There is always a gap between what I think and reality. So why bother to pursue it? It will never be smooth sailing either way."
Yin Liuchuan scoffed, "What you're saying is laughable. If there weren't gaps between ideals and reality, who would care about it? If life weren't so unsatisfactory, who would cherish a fleeting moment of joy?"
My eyes widened.
"This vast world never pays attention to anyone, not even the sun, moon, and stars, nor to mistakes and missed opportunities. That's why this world gives you wonder and beauty, making you reluctant to leave and attached to the mortal world. Life is like this world, seemingly barren but actually beautiful, seemingly thin but actually rich."