Luzhou Moon - Chapter 43
He didn't know how much time had passed, but in his hazy state, he seemed to hear someone gently wiping his cheek with a cool handkerchief. Tang Yanchu kept his eyes closed, not turning around, and murmured, "Big sister... why are you here again?"
The person behind him didn't speak. After a while, she slowly reached out and untied the belt of his inner shirt. He then felt a chill on his back as she wiped his sweat with a handkerchief. Tang Yanchu regained some of his senses with the coolness, but suddenly realized something was wrong and turned around abruptly.
Night had fallen, and the rain had stopped. The bright moonlight shone into the room through the window. By this moonlight, Tang Yanchu saw that the person sitting by the bed was not Lian Junqiu, but Yue Ruzheng, who looked melancholy.
"Like a zither?!"
Tang Yanchu was utterly astonished. He kicked his legs hard, propped himself up, and turned to sit up. But his inner shirt had already been unbuttoned by Yue Ruzheng. With this movement, the shirt fell loose, and because he hadn't been covered by a blanket, his upper body was completely exposed.
Without the cover of his clothes, his remaining arm looked even more shocking, weak, and powerless, which was very incongruous with his whole body and quite strange.
Yue Ruzheng's face turned pale, and she stood there stunned, still holding the towel she had used to wipe his sweat.
Tang Yanchu was also stunned for a moment, but then he desperately bent down and tried to bite the white shirt that had slipped off. But whether it was because of the fever or because of panic, his body was trembling uncontrollably. He could only manage to bite the shirt, but he could hardly get it over his shoulder.
Seeing him sweating profusely with anxiety, Yue Ruzheng couldn't help but reach out to help him put on his clothes. But he suddenly swayed and shouted at her, "Get away!"
"Xiao Tang, don't be like this!" She clutched the fallen clothes, looking at his body, feeling extremely sad.
"I told you to get away! Don't look at me! Don't look at me!" Tang Yanchu screamed almost frantically, completely losing his mind. He suddenly reached out and tried to snatch the clothes from her hands. Yue Ruzheng, tears welling up in her eyes, stood up to put the clothes on him, but he leaned back and kicked out with his right leg, intending to block her hand, but instead kicked her shoulder. Yue Ruzheng was kicked to the ground, her head hitting the corner of the table with a thud.
Yue Ruzheng was stunned by the impact and forgot the pain. Her face was pale as she slumped down in front of the bed.
Tang Yanchu froze for a moment, then rolled off the bed, crawled to her side on her knees, and forcefully pushed up her shoulders with her own, frantically calling out, "Ruzheng! Ruzheng!"
Only then did Yue Ruzheng feel an unbearable pain in the back of her head, with throbbing spasms and a slowly dripping, warm liquid. She reached behind her head with trembling hands and touched it, finding her hand covered in blood.
She stared blankly at the blood in her hand, then suddenly couldn't hold back any longer and burst into tears.
Tang Yanchu gritted his teeth, trying to lift her up with his shoulder, but her body was heavy and she wouldn't move. He then lunged at her, trying to bite her sleeve with his teeth, but it was all in vain. Yue Ruzheng just cried silently, the blood from her hands slowly flowing onto her skirt.
Tang Yanchu suddenly knelt weakly before her, bowing her head deeply, and said in a barely audible voice, "Ruzheng, please, don't sit on the ground, okay?"
Yue Ruzheng moved her body slightly, and another sharp pain shot through the back of her head. She looked at Tang Yanchu in the dim light, picked up the clothes beside her, and draped them over his shoulders.
Tang Yanchu lowered his shoulders, slipped his amputated arm into his sleeve, and leaned forward to try and support her. He bit his lower lip, his body already covered in sweat, yet he repeatedly tried to lift her shoulder. Yue Ruzheng, who had been sobbing, suddenly pounded her fist on his shoulder, then buried her face in his shoulder, hugging him tightly, sobbing uncontrollably.
Tang Yan initially straightened his upper body, trying his best to avoid her closeness, but her warm breath brushed against his neck, and he gradually pressed his body closer to hers, feeling her rapid heartbeat.
Yue Ruzheng was still sobbing. He moved back slightly, struggled to raise his right arm, and used his sleeve to wipe her tears. Yue Ruzheng looked at him; his movements were very careful, yet his expression was focused, with deep guilt in his eyes.
She stopped crying, took his arm, and said in a hoarse voice, "You have a fever, go back to bed."
Tang Yanchu stared blankly at her swollen eyes, then suddenly said, "I'm sorry."
Yue Ruzheng pursed her lips and said, "I won't blame you. I know... you don't want me to see your... body..."
"That's not what I meant." Tang Yanchu smiled sadly and shook his head. "Ruzheng, this is the ninth time you've cried since we met... Why do you always get hurt when you're with me..." He lowered his arm, placed the empty sleeve in front of him, stared at it without moving, and suddenly couldn't help but sneer.
Yue Ruzheng stared at him blankly. His laughter grew increasingly mournful, and his body gradually bent down until he prostrated himself on the ground.
"What am I? A useless piece of trash... a monster in other people's eyes... What right do I have to come to you? What right do I have to lose my temper with you? My disabled body, if you don't find it disgusting, that's already good enough. What right do I have to stop you from seeing it?"
He choked out his words, and Yue Ruzheng, with tears streaming down her face, hugged his waist and helped him up. She saw that his eyes were full of tears, but he insisted on not shedding any.
"Xiao Tang, if you feel sad, just cry it out." She looked into his eyes and said with heartache.
Tang Yanchu forced a smile, breathing heavily, and said, "No, no... I cried too much after losing my hands, I can't cry anymore... I told myself not to cry... not to be a useless person who only sheds tears... But, Ruzheng, even so, I'm still really useless! My elder sister said you belong only to the martial world, you can't stay here at all. I also feel like I was dreaming before, why was I so stupid, why was I so inconsiderate of your feelings... On the way back from Luzhou, I just felt like a joke. I'm stared at wherever I go, but why did I still go to Yinxi Xiaozhu to find you?! Why did I let you be ridiculed because of me?! I want to hit myself! But I don't have hands!" He suddenly broke free from her embrace and slammed himself against the table. Yue Ruzheng cried out in surprise, but it was too late to stop him. He hit the corner of the table hard, cold sweat streaming down his face, his eyes filled with only dejection and frustration.
"Xiao Tang! Are you crazy! What do you think you're doing?!" She grabbed him and cried out.
"I really regret it! I really regret coming to you! I shouldn't have appeared in front of others in this incomplete state! I should have stayed in these mountains for the rest of my life and never left!" His face was terribly pale as he shouted desperately.
"No, no!" Yue Ruzheng clung to his neck, her hands trembling. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have been so cold to you! I drove you away!"
Unable to contain her guilt and sorrow any longer, she looked up, tears streaming down her face, and kissed his chapped lips.
Tang Yanchu's lips trembled slightly as he tried to turn his face away, but Yue Ruzheng held him tightly with both arms, preventing him from turning away. Tang Yanchu felt her tears fall onto his face and slide into his mouth. He suddenly couldn't help but kiss her lips forcefully, the slightly salty taste spreading between them.
Yue Ruzheng slightly parted her lips, breathing in his breath, her heart trembling, feeling a sense of dizziness.
Tang Yanchu's kiss was awkward; he couldn't hold her with both hands, so he could only rely on the strength in his waist to support himself and try his best to press close to her. He was breathing rapidly, his body was hot, and sweat dripped from his forehead onto Yue Ruzheng's face.
Yue Ruzheng took a deep breath, cupped his cheeks, and shrank back slightly, whispering, "Xiao Tang, you have a high fever."
Tang Yanchu's cheeks flushed slightly. He looked at Yue Ruzheng and asked, "Does the place where you bumped yourself still hurt?"
Yue Ruzheng then realized that the back of her head was still throbbing with a burning pain, which she had completely forgotten about earlier. She softly said, "It doesn't hurt anymore." Then she helped Tang Yanchu stand up, supporting his waist, and then helped him lie down on the bed.
Tang Yanchu lay quietly in the darkness, her eyes especially deep and bright. Yue Ruzheng picked up the handkerchief from before, soaked it in water, and gently pulled Tang Yanchu's shoulders, saying, "Little Tang, you're covered in sweat again. Let me wipe you down and help you change your clothes, okay?"
Tang Yanchu didn't speak, but silently turned away. Yue Ruzheng gently took off his white shirt and, in the pale moonlight, wiped away the sweat from his back little by little.
Tang Yanchu's body remained tense, his remaining arms pressed tightly against his body, completely still. Yue Ruzheng took out a clean undershirt and helped him change. Only then did he relax slightly and struggle to sit up. Yue Ruzheng fastened the buttons at his waist, touched his forehead, and said, "Sleep for a while, I'll go boil some water for you."
"I can't sleep." He sat cross-legged on the bed, his dark eyes gazing at her, and said, "Would you like to sit with me for a while?"
Yue Ruzheng hesitated for a moment, then nodded and sat on the edge of the bed, shoulder to shoulder with him. Tang Yanchu, however, shifted a few places, knelt behind her, slowly leaned down, pressed close to her back, and braced his arms on her shoulders.
Yue Ruzheng's heart skipped a beat. She lowered her head and tightly gripped the sleeve of his shirt hanging in front of her, clasping it between her palms. She couldn't see Tang Yanchu's expression, but she could hear his deep breathing.
"Xiao Tang, are you happy?" she tugged at his sleeve and whispered.
Tang Yanchu didn't answer. After a while, she spoke from behind Ruzheng, "Ruzheng, just now, were you doing this because you pitied me...?"
Yue Ruzheng was startled, loosened her sleeve, and turned to look at him.
He didn't look up, but just stared at his sleeve, his lips slightly downturned.