Luzhou Moon - Chapter 48
Yue Ruzheng gripped the pastry tightly, angrily asking, "What's wrong with you? Why did you suddenly become like this again?"
Tang Yanchu lowered her head, remained silent for a while, and then said, "I don't want you to always be the one buying things for me. But I don't have any extra money."
"Is this all you're upset about?" Yue Ruzheng asked, a little upset, as she held up the pastries high. "I've only bought them for you twice, and you're already so bothered? Then what about all the food you've cooked and clothes you've worn? Should I also settle that score with you?"
"It's different!" Tang Yanchu suddenly raised her voice, her feet firmly planted on the bamboo strips.
"What's different?! Tell me!" Yue Ruzheng said, barely suppressing her anger.
"I'm a man! Even though I have no hands, I'm still a man!" His face was pale, his eyes filled with sorrow. "You're staying here with me, I should take good care of you. But I can't even afford to buy you any food! Do you know what the pharmacy clerk told me? He asked me if that pretty girl at the door was my sweetheart? He even remembered how you used to yell at him for me! He also said, 'Xiao Tang, you'd better work hard to earn money from now on, otherwise how will you support her?!'"
"Why did you listen to him?!" Yue Ruzheng said, her voice trembling with tears. "I'm not a cripple; do I need you to support me?"
"You're not a cripple, I am!" Tang Yanchu angrily kicked the bamboo strips and stood up. "Was what they said wrong?! Was it wrong?!"
Yue Ruzheng finally cried. She didn't want to argue with him anymore. She grabbed the pastries, rushed out of the yard, ran to the hillside, and threw the pastries down heavily. Then she wiped away her tears, returned to the yard, didn't even look at him, went back to her room, and slammed the door shut.
That night, Yue Ruzheng lay in bed, silently weeping, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. She had always thought of herself as generous and magnanimous, capable of bringing Tang Yanchu much joy, and able to give him all sorts of things like she would any other friend. But only today did she realize that the more she treated him this way, the more inferior and guilty he felt. She could freely order those expensive and exquisite pastries, while he could only stand silently to the side and watch.
Yue Ruzheng didn't know what to do if things continued like this. She thought, Tang Yanchu was destined to live a life of poverty, so what about her? Would she leave Yinxi Xiaozhu and stay here with him, gathering herbs to make a living?
As Yue Ruzheng thought of this, a chill suddenly ran through her body. It wasn't the thought of living in poverty in the future, but rather the thought of Yinxi Xiaozhu and the purpose of her trip. For the past few days, she had been keeping a secret in her heart, but every time she was with Tang Yanchu, she would unconsciously forget her original intention and immerse herself in their sweet affection.
She came with a mission, but now she's even thinking about such a foolish question as how she'll make a living!
Yue Ruzheng was breathing rapidly. She buried herself in the blanket, covered her head, and felt an unbearable tightness in her chest. She almost wanted to faint so she could escape this predicament for a while.
Despite this, her mind was filled with images of Tang Yanchu from recent times—his smile, his silence, his gentleness, even his awkwardness… But how long could she endure this? Cold sweat broke out on Yue Ruzheng's body, soaking her clothes in waves. She abruptly sat up in bed and went to the window, trying to clear her head. Through the crack in the window, she saw Tang Yanchu still sitting in the courtyard, weaving. Only then did she realize he was weaving bamboo baskets. Yue Ruzheng didn't know why he did these things, but at that moment, she was too exhausted to think about it.
The next morning, Yue Ruzheng woke up with swollen eyes, only to find Tang Yanchu gone. The bamboo strips on the ground were also gone. She had been in a daze the night before and didn't know when he had returned to the room.
At noon, Yue Ruzheng squatted by the stove to start a fire. She gathered rice, grains, and mushrooms, preparing to cook for herself. While washing the rice, she heard someone enter the yard. Without turning around, she listlessly stirred the rice with her hands.
The footsteps stopped softly behind her, and she heard him unload the bamboo basket and place it on the table.
Yue Ruzheng's movements were extremely slow. In fact, she was no longer angry. On the contrary, she had thought a lot last night. Now she just felt unsure of how to face Tang Yanchu and whether she should continue the relationship.
She felt like she was weaving a net, a net that would drive both her and Tang Yanchu to a dead end.
"Ruzheng." Tang Yanchu's voice sounded behind her, very low, with a hint of disappointment.
Yue Ruzheng lowered her head, her hands immersed in the water, gripping the rice tightly without moving.
Tang Yanchu walked to her side, staring blankly at the ground, and said, "I'm sorry."
Yue Ruzheng's heart skipped a beat. She looked up at his haggard face but was speechless.
He kept his eyes down the whole time, then walked to the table, gently bit the bamboo basket, moved it in front of her, and said, "I bought you your favorite food."
Inside the bamboo basket was a delicate paper package. Yue Ruzheng recognized it immediately—it was the pastry from the shop she had bought yesterday. Overwhelmed with sadness, she didn't know what to say. Standing by the table, gazing at the pastry, tears streamed down her face.
"I shouldn't have snapped at you." He stared at the ground, his eyes filled with resentment. "You bought me things out of kindness, but I was ungrateful..."
"Stop talking," Yue Ruzheng said in a trembling voice.
Tang Yanchu then raised her eyes and looked at her sadly.
She choked back tears, saying, "Where did you get the money to buy it? You worked all night just for this?"
Tang Yanchu said, "Yesterday, when I was halfway up the mountain, I saw some old women weaving bamboo baskets. They said someone would come to collect them tomorrow. I've woven baskets before, so I asked them for some bamboo strips, and I delivered the baskets this morning." He paused, then said in a low voice, "But I didn't have much money; I could only buy three kinds of the best pastries, and I couldn't afford anything else."
"How could you be so silly!" Yue Ruzheng couldn't hold back any longer and hugged his shoulders.
"I just want to give you a little bit, even if it's very little... I can't watch you stay by my side, but I can't give you anything!" He turned his face away, his voice choked with emotion.
She touched his cheek and saw a faint glimmer of tears in his eyes.
Tang Yanchu took a deep breath, forcing a relieved smile, and said to the bamboo basket, "Eat it, otherwise it won't taste good."
Yue Ruzheng swallowed her tears, picked up the paper package, slowly unwrapped it, and bit into the plum blossom cake. Tears welled up and dripped onto the bright red beans.
"Don't cry, really, it will make me very sad," he pleaded.
Yue Ruzheng wiped away her tears, took the plum blossom cake, and held it to his lips. Tang Yanchu smiled through his tears, took a bite, and said, "It seems a bit better than last time, right? At least you can still taste the flavor."
Yue Ruzheng nodded, smiling through her tears.
Chapter Thirty-Four: Picking Flowers on the Cliff and Chasing the Tide
After this argument and subsequent reconciliation, Yue Ruzheng began to examine the differences between herself and Xiao Tang. She understood that many things would still stand between them. But when facing Tang Yanchu, she couldn't hide her inner panic, so she hugged him tightly and leaned against his back.
Only in this way could she get closest to him without looking him directly in the eye. Yue Ruzheng still remembered that the first time she saw him, it was his clear, serene eyes that had deeply attracted her. But at some point, she became afraid to look at him, feeling as if she would have nowhere to hide under his gaze.
Tang Yanchu let her hug him tightly. He stood under the pear tree, his back straight and his sleeves hanging down.
The sunlight gently fell on the two of them, and the peaceful scene unfolded like a slowly unfurling scroll, exuding a subtle fragrance of ink and brush.
"Ruzheng," he spoke softly in a moment of quiet, "Do you ever feel tired being with me?"
Yue Ruzheng's arms, which were holding him, trembled slightly, then she intertwined her fingers and embraced his heart: "Why did you ask that?"
"I'm different from normal people..." he said somewhat sadly, "I know I'm withdrawn and have a bad temper. I'm afraid you'll suffer, I really want to be good to you, but sometimes I can't control myself..."
Yue Ruzheng hugged him tightly and whispered, "Xiao Tang, you're much better than before. I won't blame you."
Tang Yanchu slowly turned around, looked at her, took a deep breath, and said, "I'm afraid you'll leave."
"I..." Yue Ruzheng was flustered and didn't know how to answer.