51e tableau à l'huile

Chapitre 2

Wu Bingbing opened her eyes and saw Dr. Meng sitting next to her, who was adjusting his black-rimmed glasses with his middle finger, observing her closely. Then, Dr. Meng asked her, "Why did you run away from the hospital?"

"ran out?" Wu Bingbing seemed to be trying hard to recall. "Did I run out?"

"You don't remember? Don't you remember what you did?"

"What did I do? —I was so confused, I don't know..."

She lay there, bathed in the light. Besides Dr. Meng, there were other doctors and nurses, countless faces, bobbing up and down on the surface. She felt a surge of fear, her chest contracting nervously. And all around her was a cacophony of voices, growing louder and more chaotic—

—Why did you run away? —Are you afraid of something? —Where are you going? —Do you remember leaving the hospital? —Did you bite off someone's ear? —Can't you remember the way back to the hospital? —Are you dreaming? —Did you hear anything? —Do you have a headache? —Why are you walking towards the outskirts? —Why didn't you think of going home? —Why…why? Why? …

She screamed and struggled to rise. Dr. Meng placed a hand on her forehead.

She felt her heart pounding, and her whole body shook violently with the sound, her chest swelling like a mountain. She clearly felt her heart pounding outwards. Accompanying this pounding was a chaotic, piercing hissing sound…

Thump! Thump! Thump! —

Like a wild beast trapped in a sack, it struggled desperately, lunging and thrashing about, as if trying to burst out of her throat. The struggles grew more violent, the sounds louder, the deafening noise making her dizzy and her ears ring. She wanted to scream, but her throat felt blocked. The hissing grew louder, like the dying scream of a wild beast…

Dr. Meng shouted, "Quick, give her a sedative!"

The nurse's syringe pierced her body, and she felt a sharp "snap" sound inside—like a wild beast breaking its chains—and her heart stopped pounding...

She saw the mouth in front of her opening and closing, saying something, but she couldn't understand a word. She only felt a hollowness as if her body was shattering—and then she knew nothing more…

Beads of sweat glistened on her forehead as she slowly loosened her grip on the sheets, leaving behind crumpled, damp handprints...

Chapter Two

A series of strange and perplexing events unfolded. He wondered whose heart was inside him—why wouldn't they tell him? What were their concerns? Who else could they be concerned about besides him? Was there some secret? Or some hidden reason?

After Dr. Meng's observation and treatment, it was confirmed that Wu Bingbing was mentally sound, and she was finally discharged from the hospital after surgery. That morning, she woke up very late. Her mother's school was very close to home, so she came back during the break to check on her and found her squatting on the sofa in her bedroom in her pajamas, frantically flipping through a pile of colorful newspapers in front of her. The milk and cake that had been prepared for her that morning were on the coffee table, but she was so busy that she didn't touch them at all.

Wu Bingbing skimmed through the newspapers she'd been reading for over half a month, focusing on the top headlines and local city news, quickly searching for headlines that piqued her interest. News headlines included: Japanese businessmen building a pulp mill, planting eucalyptus trees by plane in the mountains; frequent robberies, plainclothes police solving 20 cases in a single day; the final verdict in the murder case of female painter Jiang Lan, with thousands watching her execution… She flipped through the pages with lightning speed.

After a busy period, I finally believed my mother's words—during her long period of anesthesia and dormancy, nothing particularly memorable happened. Life was mundane and trivial; there weren't many novel experiences.

Her mother asked her if she had taken her medicine, and she said she had. Her mother urged her to eat breakfast quickly.

Wu Bingbing sat in front of the coffee table, frowning, and said, "Mom, I don't want to eat these."

Her mother asked her what was wrong: "Don't you like milk and cake for breakfast the most?"

“I crave salty food—when I wake up hungry, I think of ham, steak, and salty porridge.”

"Don't you always eat sweets for breakfast and never like salty foods? Those are high in fat and cholesterol—"

"Whatever, I want to eat anyway... Mom, do you think my appetite has changed after the surgery?"

"Eat whatever you want, Mom will buy you whatever you want. What's changed? Nothing has changed."

"Thank you so much, Mom. You're so kind."

Mom went downstairs to buy something. Wu Bingbing stood up and went to the balcony to stretch her legs, which were sore from sitting. Looking at the clear blue sky above and the white clouds drifting freely in the distance, she felt particularly good. A desire to relax arose spontaneously. She really wanted to run outside, stretch her muscles, and clear her mind.

Suddenly, a burst of laughter drifted over—a girl's light, joyful laughter, as pure as a mountain stream. Excitedly, she searched, and saw an endless expanse of green grass beneath the sky directly ahead. A group of children, dressed in their finest clothes, were running and playing joyfully. They quickly came running towards her from afar, their laughter growing louder and their faces becoming clearer. A little girl in a red top, blue pants, and pigtails was the first to spot her, pointing in her direction. The other children understood and ran towards her, pushing and shoving each other, shouting and laughing…

Seeing their carefree expressions, she smiled enviously, wishing she could run over and play with them.

In an instant, she felt like she was back in her childhood. The shouts of the children calling to each other filled her with excitement, making her dance with joy. She saw a stone wall in front of her, beyond which lay a tranquil pond, and beyond that, a meadow. She leaped up the wall, sat atop it, and watched the children. Her feet splashed in the pond, the cool sensation spreading from her toes throughout her body—it felt so comfortable and refreshing…

Sometime later, the girl with pigtails stood by the pond, smiling and waving at her. This little girl had a round face, big eyes, and two cute dimples when she smiled; she was very pretty. And on her chest hung something shiny—I remembered some of the children in my grandmother's village wearing them. That's right, it was a longevity lock, a silver longevity lock.

The girl came along the path by the pond, the bells on her longevity lock tinkling softly. She smiled innocently, raising her slender, white arm to beckon her to come down, her voice gentle and alluring: "Sister, come down, come down and play with us. Come down, come down—"

The mother bought her daughter the ham and other food she wanted from the KFC across the street. When she returned to the gate of the residential complex, she saw a group of people gathered there, all looking up at the building and talking amongst themselves. She asked what was going on and what they were looking at. Several people replied that a girl upstairs was trying to commit suicide.

She looked up and saw a girl sitting on the balcony of a house in the middle of the building, facing outwards, her legs dangling. There was no safety net on the balcony, and judging from the girl's appearance, she could jump at any moment—counting the floors, it was the 12th floor. Her legs went weak with fear, and she rushed into the elevator, screaming. In her panic, she knocked over what she was holding, not even bothering to pick it up. She kept urging the elevator, "Faster! Faster! Faster!"

She burst through her door and rushed inside, the first thing she saw was her daughter sitting on the balcony. Staring at her daughter's back, she held her breath, gritting her teeth, and softly called, "Bingbing—Bingbing—"

After being called many times, Wu Bingbing seemed to wake up from a dream and slowly turned her head.

"Don't move," Mom said, "Sit still—listen to me, don't move your body at all. That's right—" she said, carefully walking over to her daughter, "Come on, slowly give me your right hand—"

She gripped her daughter's hand tightly and pulled her down with all her might. The two fell to the floor, embracing each other. The mother didn't let go for a long time, angrily scolding, "What's wrong with you? Why were you sitting there? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you really want to commit suicide?"

Wu Bingbing fell to the ground, snapping out of her dazed state, and muttered to herself, "What happened? — What did I do just now? I didn't try to commit suicide... I don't know why —"

The mother was furious: "You're not a child anymore. Even a child knows that one slip and you'll fall off the building."

Wu Bingbing was confused: "I really...don't understand, what...just now?"

All morning, Wu Bingbing locked herself in her room, pacing back and forth, lying on the bed, her thoughts constantly entangled in a series of unresolved questions.

As she sat at the table, she drew many question marks of various sizes on the white paper in front of her.

On the table was a pen holder containing pens, pencils, a plastic ruler, and a paper cutter. Several times, she took the paper cutter out and put it back in, playing with it like a pencil, sometimes waving it in front of her, sometimes idly cutting question marks on paper, constantly fiddling with it, almost cutting her hand in the process. She didn't understand why she had become interested in the knife, so she forced herself to put it back in the pen holder. But after a while, she found herself unconsciously picking up the knife again, subconsciously scraping it against the back of her hand and arm. She silently scolded herself for her lack of self-control and solemnly put the knife back in. However, she felt her attention was always drawn to the knife. She deliberately turned her back to it, but her mind couldn't forget its presence; she felt as if the knife was staring at her with bright eyes. This troubled her greatly, so she turned around, sulking at the pen holder, and picked up the knife again, pondering—why was it so strange? Did this knife possess some kind of magic?

Just then, her mother pushed open the door and came in. Seeing her fiddling with a knife in front of her, she was truly startled. Her mother asked her in astonishment what was wrong. After explaining for a long time, her mother finally believed that she hadn't committed suicide.

Her mother told her that she had just received a call from the hospital informing her to come for a follow-up examination in two days.

At this moment, Bingbing looked up and asked hesitantly, "Mom, do you remember what I told you the day before yesterday?"

As her mother tidied up the mess she had made, she asked, "What were we talking about the day before yesterday?"

“I feel—” she put her hand on her chest, “my heart feels really strange.”

Her mother looked at her with concern: "Are you feeling unwell anywhere?"

She frowned and said, "It's not that I feel unwell, but something just feels off. I don't know what it was like during the surgery, but the day I woke up was really strange. It's inexplicable why I ran away from the hospital... Also, that day in the ambulance, Dr. Meng pressed my forehead, and my heart seemed scared, it was pounding like crazy..."

Mom smiled and said, "You're all grown up now, and you're always shy. Is it because of Dr. Meng—?"

Bingbing got anxious: "Mom, what are we talking about? I'm talking about serious matters."

Mom quickly said, "Okay. Go ahead and tell me, go ahead and tell me."

Bingbing continued, "There's also a strange sound."

"What—the sound?" Mom listened intently.

"It was a cry, it came from that heart."

"There wouldn't be any screaming, it should be—"

"Like the howl of a wild beast."

"So, your heart makes a sound?"

"That sound definitely came from inside my body."

"Nonsense, are you talking nonsense in broad daylight?"

"It was the cry of a wild beast, high and low."

"Who would believe your nonsense? You're talking rubbish!"

"I'm telling the truth!" Bingbing said helplessly.

Just then, the phone rang again. Mom quickly ran out to answer it.

Bingbing complained, "What I said was clearly—pretend I didn't say anything."

Soon, her mother came over and called her to answer the phone, saying it was Guo Kai calling.

Guo Kai was her classmate in middle school and college, and also her boyfriend; they had been dating for five years. Her classmates were all going to Shennongjia for internships the next day, and Guo Kai had come to see her. He only had half a day; he had already bought his afternoon train ticket.

Half an hour later, the two were walking in the park. Wu Bingbing walked in front, and Guo Kai followed behind, without saying a word for a long time.

Wu Bingbing had completely forgotten about Guo Kai. She felt as if she were walking through a deep, dark forest, drawn forward unconsciously by some force. Images flashed before her eyes: bright sunlight at the end of the gloomy woods, where a stone house stood, surrounded by dense brambles and tall, straight oleanders with white and pink flowers. Blurry faces emerged from the flowers…

Seeing Wu Bingbing walk into the bushes in the park, Guo Kai quickly chased after her and grabbed her.

Seeing her preoccupied expression, Guo Kai asked if she wasn't feeling well. Wu Bingbing shook her head. He asked if something was bothering her. Wu Bingbing shook her head again. He asked if she was angry with him. Wu Bingbing still shook her head. Guo Kai affectionately put his arm around her waist, but Wu Bingbing instinctively pulled away.

Guo Kai was surprised. Even Wu Bingbing herself didn't know why; she had lost her usual enthusiasm for Guo Kai and became unwilling to say anything, as if she were facing a stranger.

Guo Kai said, "I'm leaving in another hour—"

Bingbing said, "Then let's go."

"I'm afraid the internship will last for two months before we can meet again."

"Two months—it'll be fine."

"How can you be so calm? You can't talk to me like that—"

"What? It's not like we're facing life and death."

"At least say a few friendly words—"

"What are you saying? You're not a child anymore..."

"Come here—"

"Why? I'm not going over there."

Come here—

"What are you doing? I don't want to go there."

Guo Kai stepped forward and picked up Wu Bingbing, but unexpectedly slapped her across the face. Guo Kai was stunned, and Wu Bingbing was also taken aback by her own actions. Guo Kai's eyes widened: "Don't you love me anymore?"

Wu Bingbing muttered aggrievedly, "Don't be like that—"

Guo Kai stormed off in a huff. Wu Bingbing called after him twice, but he ignored her and walked away.

Wu Bingbing squatted on the ground, covered her face with her hands, and started to cry as she thought about it.

That night, Wu Bingbing's eyes ached from reading, and she stretched and yawned like a kitten, but she was reluctant to go to sleep. Actually, she had another worry that she hadn't told her easily alarmed mother—every night, she had nightmares as soon as she fell asleep—which gave her even more doubts and troubles.

So, as usual, she procrastinated on going to bed early, constantly reading—though her mind wasn't entirely on the book. The printed words on the page seemed to transform into rows of ants, wave after wave attacking her, which she always chased away, shaking her head to rouse herself, and continuing to read.

As night deepened, she could no longer resist the drowsiness. Finally, she turned off the bedside lamp, lay down, took a deep breath, and relaxed her weary body. She didn't want that annoying dream to reappear, yet she bravely prepared herself. Her eyelids closed heavily, and her mind gradually blurred. In her hazy state, a huge black curtain descended from the sky, slowly covering her…

...She felt lightheaded, wandering alone in the darkness, not knowing where she came from or where she was going. There was no moon in the sky, only a few stars. She couldn't see the surrounding houses; the trees were dark and indistinct. She could smell oleander and hear a cat's meow or two. She walked on and saw a section of stone wall in the bushes. Sitting on the wall was a little girl, wearing a red top and blue pants, with pigtails and a longevity lock around her neck. The little girl chuckled beside her, pointing ahead with her small hand, and whispered, "Sister, go that way, go that way—"

She took a few steps forward, then turned back and found the girl had vanished. Suddenly, she felt the ground become uneven, as if she had fallen into a damp, low-lying pit in the mountains, with dense thorns and weeds rushing towards her. Then she heard the heavy breathing of some wild animal approaching, and she ran for her life. The animal was clearly walking this way; she could hear its greedy growls and the snapping of its claws against the branches of the bushes…

She ran forward, crying out in a tense and pitiful voice. Besides the wild beast chasing her, she clearly felt a white figure following her in the darkness, perhaps that white figure was driving the beast away. Her legs seemed to obey her will; she fell again and again, but always quickly got up and stumbled forward. She passed through a grove of trees, crossed a slope, and came to a house and a yard enclosed by a log fence. She ran over, climbed over the fence, and hid inside. In the yard, there was a bamboo trellis laden with strangely shaped fruits, which, in the dim morning light, evoked a sense of grotesque horror…

The house was dimly lit. A woman in a grayish-brown dress sat in the center of the room, her small body turned away from the door. As she approached, she whispered, "Please, kind person, let me hide here!" The woman didn't react. She walked to the other side and saw her face, hidden by long hair. She couldn't see the eyes beneath the hair, only a flat, pale chin, tightly clenched lips, and a mole at the corner of her mouth. She gently shook her shoulder, and the woman collapsed to the ground like a bundle of straw. Only then did she see the face clearly: the eyes had been gouged out, leaving only bloody holes…

She screamed in terror, leaping over the dead body and running frantically outside. She heard sounds coming from the bushes and clearly saw a woman's white figure deep in the woods, so she ran without hesitation in another direction. Behind her, the woman in white let out a sinister, hoarse curse: "You will die like her! That's my heart! I won't let you go! You will die! Die like her! Just wait to die! Die! —"

She was so frightened that she trembled all over and ran forward crying, with the dark clouds overhead following her like monsters.