After being informed through multiple layers of protocol, Luo Zhiheng finally entered Mu Qingya's palace, while the wet nurse was left outside. The sight of so much crimson was jarring, and when she entered Mu Qingya's bedroom, she was shocked to find Empress Murong Qianchen already kneeling on a soft cushion.
She looked up and saw a woman in white sitting on the edge of the large, bright red bedroom, gently combing the hair of the person lying on the bed. Her movements were skillful and gentle, as if she had done a thousand different things. From the side, her lips had a warm curve, and the light in her eyes was gentle. She looked gentle and quiet.
"You've arrived." The woman in white spoke, her voice gentle and soothing. She slowly turned her head to look at her, and her face, free of heavy makeup, was no longer alluring or ferocious, but as fresh and elegant as a lotus emerging from the water. It was none other than Mu Qingya!
Having shed that oppressive dark red color and heavy makeup, Mu Qingya is surprisingly a gentle and graceful person!
Mu Qingya smiled at Luo Zhiheng and said, "Sit down next to me, sister. I'll finish combing Nalan's hair and then I'll entertain you."
Luo Zhiheng felt that Mu Qingya was too strange, yet there was an inexplicable sense of reality about her. Suppressing her shock and confusion, she sat down next to Murong Qianchen, only to find that Murong Qianchen's face was pale and her eyes were red.
"Isn't it strange that I still have the nerve to come to you?" Mu Qingya suddenly spoke, her voice carrying a relieved laugh. She picked up a strand of the person on the bed's long hair, finally sat up, and the person's profile immediately came into view. It was none other than Nalan, who had long since died.
She slowly combed her hair, smiling as she said, "Because I asked the Emperor for one last favor, I begged him to give me a dignified death. Before I die, I want to see the two people I can't let go of the most in this life one last time."
"Mu Qingya!" Murong Qianchen's voice was low and choked with sobs, his face slowly turning pale, as if something was being suppressed in his throat, a breakdown he couldn't utter.
Mu Qingya smiled and said, "Sister, don't say it. I know you still have many questions. I will tell you everything today. As for Luo Zhiheng, you are curious about why you are the one I can't let go of the most, right? It's very simple. What I can't let go of is my resentment towards you. The person I love the most and the person I hate the most, I have the two of you by my side before I die. I am probably the most special person in history."
"Shouldn't the people you hate the most be Mu Yunhe and the Princess?" Luo Zhiheng said coldly.
Mu Qingya paused in her combing before continuing, "It used to be them, but now it's you. I hate the Princess for indirectly causing Rui'er's death, I hate that Mu Yunhe survived, but you have finally replaced them all because you killed my Nalan! So you have become the person I hate the most. Suddenly I realize that hating a stranger is much easier and happier than hating and scheming against your closest relatives. Luo Zhiheng, I also want to thank you for letting me laugh so freely before I die."
Luo Zhiheng remained calm and asked instead, "Then do you still hate Mu Yunhe and the Princess?"
"How can hatred be easily let go? Especially after so many years? But when the hatred reached its end, I realized how painful it is to hate someone. Not only am I in pain, but those around me also suffer. I dragged Nalan, who loved me most, into hell with me, making him live in misery. He selflessly gave up his dignity and integrity as a man for me. In the end, all I can give him is a promise to stay together after death. But I don't regret it. From the beginning, we couldn't be together in life, but in death, no one can separate us."
"But my sister is the person I've wronged the most in my life. I know what you've done for me behind the scenes, I know how you've cleaned up my messes time and time again, and I know how disappointed you are in me and how much you've tolerated and forgiven me. Sister, do you know that I've always known you're waiting for me to turn back? You are my shore. I always knew that as long as I turned back, you would be behind me. No matter how strong the storm ahead, I would always have a good sister who would unconditionally forgive me. So I acted recklessly. But in the end, I'm sorry to you."
"I know the Emperor loves you. The only woman Nan Xiaoqing has ever loved in his life is you, Murong Qianchen. Yet you silently protect me in your heart. So I took advantage of your sisterly affection for me, forcing Nan Xiaoqing time and time again. I became lawless, killing so many innocent unborn children, all of them Nan Xiaoqing's. I schemed against one concubine after another in the harem. I wasn't careful; almost everyone knew it was me, yet I remained unscathed. I know it's because you pleaded for me before Nan Xiaoqing time and time again, and Nan Xiaoqing spared me time and time again because of your love for me. I know all of this."
“You gambled your entire life on me, betting that I still have any mercy in my life. But sister, you will never understand the despair and collapse a mother feels when she loses her child. I am sick, very sick. No one can cure me except my Rui’er. I am jealous and hate all women with children. I have caused those women to have miscarriages repeatedly. I have made them infertile for life, just like me. I know I have gone mad. My hands are stained with blood, and they can never be washed clean.”
Mu Qingya's soft voice was filled with self-mockery and trembling. She looked at her hands, her expression strange and sorrowful, and said, "I could never turn back. I isolated myself in the darkness, with only Nalan by my side day and night. We made poisons together, all kinds of poisons. I went mad and used myself as a test subject for the poisons. I liked the fear and darkness before death, when the deadly poison was about to kill me. I faced death again and again, and Nalan saved me time and time again."
“Every time I kill a child, I make myself die. I always think, how wonderful it would be if I could just die like this this time? But Nalan wouldn’t allow me to die. He was also like a madman, using himself as a test subject for the poison. He turned himself from a perfectly healthy person into someone who needed blood to survive. I know I harmed him. I offered myself as a sacrifice for him to taste. We can’t do what husband and wife do. I don’t even dare to think about the part of Nalan that he lost. In this world, I want him to drink my blood.”
"We would entangle ourselves wildly on this bed, two cold-blooded living dead, numbly igniting passion in that instant. At that moment, the whole world consisted only of the two of us. Only in that brief embrace in the darkness, when his sharp teeth pierced my skin and sucked at my blood, making my blood surge wildly, did I feel that I was still alive, that I was not alone!"
"We licked each other's wounds and lived wearily. We were entangled for a lifetime, but we could never truly be together. Sister, you don't know, but I had a fourteen-year-long affair with the emperor, sleeping in the same bed but dreaming different dreams. I hated him, and he hated me. We were loving in public, but cold in private. Sometimes I think about it and I really envy you, sister. At least Nan Xiaoqing loved you."
As Mu Qingya recounted her past with Nalan Daibai in fits and starts, Murong Qianchen was already in tears. Luo Zhiheng, however, remained calm, knowing that Mu Qingya's story was far from simple.
Sure enough, Mu Qingya changed the subject and said to the Empress, "Sister has always wondered what exactly happened back then. Actually, when I left your place, I didn't go home. Instead, I went to a pharmacy, bought poison, and then went to where Nan Xiaoqing lived. I poisoned Nan Xiaoqing."
Murong Qianchen's pupils constricted: "It's actually true?! Why did you do this?"
“Because of my sister, my sister has been suffering. I know it's my fault. I should have been the one to marry Nan Xiaoqing, but I was so cowardly that I made my sister bear all of this for me. That night you said you wanted to run away and asked me to go with you. Although I agreed, I couldn't bear to leave. I didn't want to leave Nalan, so I had a bold and crazy idea: I wanted to get rid of Nan Xiaoqing so that he wouldn't force you away. If you were free, my heart would be at peace.”
"Are you crazy! He's an emperor!" Murong Qianchen was terrified. She couldn't believe that her little sister, whom she had always protected, would do something so audacious.
"I'm insane! Nan Xiaoqing is selfish and despicable! He'll stop at nothing to get you, I hate him! Besides, at that time, I didn't care that he was the emperor, I just wanted him dead!" Mu Qingya said fiercely.
“I revealed my identity to Nan Xiaoqing and explained that I was his savior. He believed me. I gained his trust very easily because I also told him that I was his good sister. He was very interested in you at that time. He asked me to tell him more about you, so I naturally told him. When we were thirsty, we drank some wine, a jar of wine that I had prepared in advance and drugged.”
Mu Qingya smiled bitterly and said, "But things didn't go as planned. By some twist of fate, I bought a potent aphrodisiac instead of poison. He didn't behave well for long after drinking the alcohol. I thought he was being poisoned and tried to run away in fear, but he grabbed me tightly. He was choking me hard, as if he wanted to strangle me to death. But in the end, he couldn't resist the power of the drug, and I couldn't resist his strength either."
"When the tragedy happened, I only had one thought in my mind: I could never be with Nalan again. My stupidity had ruined me. He vented his lust on me like an animal. It was the most desperate and darkest night I've ever lived. I cried out for my sister to save me, but ironically, the person he was calling for was Qianchen!"
Mu Qingya looked at Murong Qianchen with a strange gaze. Seeing that Murong Qianchen's face could no longer be described as shocked and pale, she instead asked with a smile, "Sister, don't you think this is ridiculous? Two people in a tragedy, the one they are calling out to and thinking about is the same person."
"So...this is the truth back then?!" Murong Qianchen, who had been sitting upright, suddenly went limp. Tears streamed down her face as she covered her face with her hands, crying with suppressed despair: "It was all for me, it was all for me..."
How could she possibly repay all the pain and emotional debts from this tragedy? Her beloved sister, her cherished husband, the secret that had haunted her and caused her pain for twenty years—it was all revealed! How much less serious was this truth than the truth about Mu Yunhe's poisoning?
Mu Qingya stepped down from the bed, her body as light as if weightless, and knelt before Murong Qianchen. She carefully grasped Murong Qianchen's hand with her pale one, her gaze calm and clear after the passage of time, tinged with tears. "Sister," she said, "I beg your forgiveness. I know I am unforgivable, I know I have committed countless sins, I know I am beyond redemption. But please forgive me. Fourteen years of estrangement was not my intention. I just knew I had no face to see you. I am no longer the innocent and passionate Mu Qingya I once was. I have gone mad. I am afraid to see the disgust and fear in your eyes, I am afraid to see my own filth and depravity reflected in your eyes. If that happens, I will lose even my hatred, and I will be unable to live anymore."
Murong Qianchen raised her head. For the first time in fourteen years, the two sisters were so close. Their friendship stemmed from their childhood; they had shared traces and figures in each other's most vibrant years. They had promised each other that once they called each other sisters, they would be sisters for life. But as time passed, hardships and hatred drove them further and further apart, and amidst numerous misunderstandings, their trust and friendship grew thinner and thinner.
How can fragile friendships bear the weight of truth?
"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why did you keep it from me for so long? You knew I harbored resentment about what happened back then, so why did you make me resent you? Were you happy to see me in such pain and confusion, like a fool?" Murong Qianchen accused angrily, tears streaming down her face.
Mu Qingya hugged Murong Qianchen, her dry eyes finally moistening: "Because I know I can't say it. If I do, you will no longer be happy. I know how stubborn and strong you are. If this love is gone, you will still smile, but you won't smile happily anymore. I have seen your infatuated and lingering gaze behind Nan Xiaoqing, and I have seen your happy smile when he embraces you. I really can't bring myself to hurt you."
“You have fallen in love with my enemy. I cannot bless you, but I do not want to destroy you. Although Nan Xiaoqing deserves to die, he can make my sister happy, even if it is only for a short time, and I do not want to ruin it. You are the last pure land in my heart. My hands are already stained with blood, and I do not want my sister’s blood to be among the blood that cannot be washed away.”
"Qingya! I'm sorry, I didn't know any of this, I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry..." The cold indifference on Murong Qianchen's pale face finally shattered. She didn't doubt Mu Qingya's words; she believed them.
"Come on, let's go find the Emperor. I'll beg him to spare you," Murong Qianchen suddenly said urgently, grabbing her hand.
Mu Qingya struggled for a moment, pressing down on her wrist, and said, "No! We won't beg him, it's unnecessary. He has always hated me because I was the first person to drug him, and later, out of hatred, I also poisoned him with Gu. Nalan gave me the Gu later when she was by my side, and she only discovered that she was poisoned by Gu in recent years. He can't wait for me to die, how could he possibly let me go?"
She turned to look at Nalan, who lay quietly on the bed, and said with a gentle smile, "Besides, he has already left us, and I can't delay any longer. He promised me that he would wait for me on the road to the underworld. He has waited for me for a long time in this life. Now, I can't let him wait alone on the cold road to the underworld any longer."
First update is here! Sorry for the late update today. Summer is just full of troubles, so frustrating! Huasha will hurry up and write the second update. My darlings, please give me lots of recommendation votes, comments, and monthly tickets! Love you all, group kisses!
Chapter 260: Mu Qingya is dead!! (Bonus chapter for 15,500 comments)
Updated: 2013-08-16 18:14:26 Word Count: 3508
Murong Qianchen, trembling with fear, grabbed her anxiously, saying, "No! We can't do this. Qingya, listen to me, everything will pass. Nalan must have wanted you to live too. He devoted himself to you so much, only hoping you would live well. Nalan is dead, but we can give him a proper burial, and he will still live in your heart, won't he?" Murong Qianchen was filled with apprehension.
Mu Qingya turned to look at her, her brows finally free of any fierceness, replaced by a faint melancholy and desolation: "How can that be the same? If I live, I'll never see Nalan again. I lost Rui'er once, and the pain was excruciating; losing Nalan now is heart-wrenching. I can't bear the added pain anymore. Besides, everyone has to die eventually. After all I've done, killing countless people, wouldn't it be better for me to die?"
"Don't talk nonsense! I won't let you die. I'll keep a close eye on you and won't give you any chance to get close to death!" Murong Qianchen shouted angrily.
"Unfortunately, it's too late!" Mu Qingya smiled bitterly, her face turning pale inch by inch. She pressed her hand on her abdomen, her body gradually went limp, and in the blink of an eye, she collapsed to the ground.
Murong Qianchen instinctively reached out to catch her, asking in a panic, "What happened?!"
Lost in this unbelievable and complicated past, Luo Zhiheng's face darkened. She suddenly stood up and said, "She's been poisoned! I'm going to find the imperial physician!"
"No, don't go!" Mu Qingya's urgent voice was filled with pain: "I took poison long before you came. It was a deadly poison, something left by Nalan."
"You mean a dignified death? Is it suicide by poison?" Murong Qianchen roared, his eyes bloodshot.
Mu Qingya smiled with relief: "This is the best outcome for me. To die from Nalan's poison, to die by my own hand, is better than to die from Nan Xiaoqing's torment. Sister, I beg you for something. Only you can do this. You must help me, please."
"No, don't overthink it. I'll have someone fetch the imperial physician. He'll definitely cure you, he definitely will."
"It's no use. This is a deadly poison left by Nalan. It's a poison from the Nalan family, extremely potent. Unless there's an antidote, there's no cure. I'm doomed. I only beg you, sister, to grant me one last request. Please."
Mu Qingya's speech was broken; she lay in Murong Qianchen's arms, her anxious expression revealing immense pain. Murong Qianchen was almost terrified: "Speak, speak, I'll agree to anything you say."
A faint smile finally appeared on Mu Qingya's pained face: "Bury me with Nalan. I want to be with him. Don't let me be buried in the imperial mausoleum. I wasn't Nalan's person in life, but I will be Nalan's ghost in death. I beg you, only you can persuade the Emperor to change his mind. Only you can help me. This is my last wish. Please, sister, promise me..."
Murong Qianchen was stunned, even shocked.
The emperor's concubine actually demanded to be buried with another man—this was a blatant slap in the emperor's face, making him a laughingstock. Moreover, the emperor already hated Mu Qingya, and would likely continue to torment her even after her death; how could he possibly grant her wish? Mu Qingya's wish was destined to be a luxury and a fantasy, because Murong Qianchen didn't know if she could fulfill it—it was simply too much to ask.
"Sister, are you finding this difficult? I know this will put you in a difficult position. Take this; it's the only antidote to the Emperor's poison. Use it to negotiate with the Emperor, and he won't harm you. Please, sister, help me this time." Mu Qingya knew her request was excessive, and she knew that if she went too far, Murong Qianchen would be disliked or deposed by the Emperor because of it. But she had no other choice. She knew that after she died, the Emperor would definitely disturb her and Nalan's corpses. She could accept dying without a burial place, but she couldn't let Nalan's corpse suffer with her.
"Sister, I owe you an immense debt of gratitude this time, one I can never repay in this lifetime. In the next life, I will serve you like a slave, please grant my request, sister." Mu Qingya clutched the porcelain bottle, pleading desperately. At that moment, blood spilled from the corner of her mouth, followed by black blood flowing from her ears and nostrils.
"Qingya!!" Murong Qianchen's pupils constricted, her mind went blank for a moment. She stiffly took the porcelain bottle, clutching it tightly in her hand. She could no longer bear to look at Mu Qingya's miserable state with blood flowing from her seven orifices, and roared, "I promise you! I will definitely find a way to bury you with Nalan!!"
To agree is to give up her sister's life! To agree means that there will never be another Mu Qingya in this world! Murong Qianchen's heart was breaking, and tears streamed down her face.
Mu Qingya's heavy breathing sounded like that of an old woman in her twilight years. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her voice was as weak and fragile as a broken string of tears: "I'm sorry, I've forced you again, but I have no way out. You are my only way out. Sister, I may have pushed you to the brink of despair again, and I will implicate you. Just consider me selfish to the core, and hate me."
Murong Qianchen cried, "I don't hate you! I don't hate you. Qingya is my best sister. I will never hate you again. I will never forget the promise we made on the day we became sworn sisters, and I will never betray it."
Mu Qingya seemed to be smiling. She pointed to a corner not far ahead and slowly said in the blood-stained air, "Everything I own is for Yu'er. Those things... those were the dowry I've saved for Yu'er over the years. I know that child doesn't like me, but to me, she's my daughter. Although I lost Rui'er, I still have Yu'er. The key is under the pillow..."
Luo Zhiheng looked around and saw more than a dozen large mahogany chests neatly arranged on the ground. They were covered in old marks and dust, clearly having just been taken out and had not yet been wiped clean. They were also quite old.
“Yes, Yu’er is your child, our child together. She will be very filial to you, she will love you. Just be well. The child will be very happy to know that she has such a loving mother.” Murong Qianchen trembled as she covered Mu Qingya’s ears, but blood still flowed uncontrollably. Her voice trembled and grew colder and colder.
“She’s like you, with clear likes and dislikes. If my Rui’er were still alive, she and Yu’er would definitely be very close siblings, just like us.” Mu Qingya’s gaze gradually dimmed, and her laughter grew softer as she leaned against Murong Qianchen’s chest: “Sister, Nalan and I met after we met. From the first moment I saw him, I knew I wanted this man. From that year on, I was no longer innocent, because I learned about lovesickness and jealousy.”
"He was a very handsome man, with an extraordinary bearing and impeccable manners. When he smiled at me, I felt the whole world brighten up. It didn't matter that my mother didn't love me, because my wet nurse adored me. It didn't matter that my father didn't love me, because I had my sister to care for and protect me. Later, Nalan came into my life. He was the most profound chapter in my life. Before Rui'er came into my life, I thought he would be the man I loved most in my life. But later, I married Nan Xiaoqing." 17.
"I feel so guilty. I promised to be his bride. I hate the heavens, but I hate myself even more. I messed everything up. I cruelly severed ties with Nalan. I stopped contacting him and refused all his contact. I left, so far away from him. But I will miss him so much that I wake up in the night with a broken heart."
"I thought I would never set foot in the Mu Dynasty again, but I really wanted to see my younger brother, Mu Yunhe, whom I had never met. But the heaviest pain is here. My Nalan returned to my side that year when I was at my most miserable and desperate. He sheltered me from the wind and rain, silent, just by my side. He said, 'Aya, I will never leave you again. I can't bear another five years of pain, five years of longing, every night piercing my heart!'"
"That day, I realized that my heart, which had been sealed away for five years, wasn't devoid of feeling, nor had I forgotten. I simply missed him so much that the pain became unbearable, to the point where I no longer cared for him. But his arrival brought no happiness, only too much pain and suffering. I watched helplessly as a perfectly good man became a monster for my sake. I became numb too, but I loved him. Even without saying it, I knew he understood. I simply forgot how to love after losing Rui'er..."
Murong Qianchen listened quietly, letting her tears fall. Mu Qingya's calm tone and fading breaths were enough to drive anyone to the brink of collapse. Even someone as composed as Luo Zhiheng felt a tightness in her chest upon hearing this.
Mu Qingya's doctor has too many tragedies. She has no choice and no power to resist. Gradually going crazy is also a kind of resistance against fate.
“Sister, I know what Nalan wanted to say to me before he died. Although he couldn’t say it, I just know. He wanted to say…” Mu Qingya looked at Nalan lying quietly on the bed with difficulty. After the last string of clear tears flowed from the corner of her eyes, even the tears turned bright red, and blood flowed from the corner of her eyes: “He wanted to say ‘I don’t regret it.’ He wanted to tell me that he didn’t regret loving me, and he didn’t regret staying by my side!”
Luo Zhiheng abruptly closed her eyes, and Murong Qianchen's suppressed sobs instantly erupted.
"The two people I love most in this life are by my side right now. My life is finally complete. Sister, this is the happiest moment of my life. Because I can watch the man I love die in the arms of my favorite sister. No one can be happier than me, right?" Mu Qingya's eyes seemed to brighten for a moment, but the two of them knew that Mu Qingya, who was shedding tears of blood, could no longer see anything.
"Yes! My Qingya has always been happy, and will always be the happiest person!" Murong Qianchen broke down and hugged Mu Qingya tightly, tears streaming down her face.
With trembling hands, Mu Qingya slowly took out a black porcelain bottle from her waist and held it up shakily towards Luo Zhiheng. She couldn't see, but she smiled strangely and painfully in Luo Zhiheng's direction, seemingly carrying inexplicable emotions. Her raised hand seemed to be expressing some final words, but before Luo Zhiheng could take the porcelain bottle, Mu Qingya's hand and the bottle suddenly fell to the ground.
Her pale hand twitched twice on the ground, then remained still. Her face was turned towards Nalan, and the last tear of blood fell from the corner of her eye into her sister's palm. 16607916
Mu Qingya has passed away at the age of thirty-four.
Second update! The conspiracy journey ends tragically! I cried so much, waaaaaah! Please vote, leave comments, and give me monthly tickets! I'll update 10,000 words today, Hua Sha is a little tired. Hugs to all my darlings!
261. A Love Transaction! A Funeral! Behind the Three Jade Dolls!
Updated: 2013-08-17 14:05:15 Word Count: 7663
Murong Qianchen placed Mu Qingya's body beside Nalan Daibai and said in a hoarse voice, "I won't let you die without anyone to see you off. I will have Yu'er wear mourning clothes for you and see you off. In the next life, we will still be sisters. In the next life, I will never indulge you like this again. I will try my best to be a good older sister."