Cronología de la muerte

Capítulo 11

But one day, my uncle and his family came to stay with us for a few months. My cousin Yuheng and I were together from morning till night, and although we only saw each other once a year, we were like sisters. During that visit, my cousin told me that she had heard the rumors about my uncle, aunt, and their friends—back then, rumors were the only way people knew the truth.

The rumor concerns my mother and father, saying that they were betrothed before they were even born. In 1909, two patriotic young men were studying in Japan and joined the Tongmenghui (Revolutionary Alliance) led by Dr. Sun Yat-sen. They became comrades who were bound by life and death. They knelt down and swore that if they were lucky enough to survive the revolution and overthrow the Qing government, they would arrange a marriage between their children.

The Qing government was overthrown in 1911. The man who had a son became famous—my renowned grandfather. The other family had a daughter, but unfortunately, their fortunes declined; that was the family of Sweetie. The poor man took his daughter to the wealthy man, cautiously recounting their vows, lamenting that they were not a good match. This became widely known at the time. The servants all said my grandfather was a truly righteous man, forcing his eldest son to marry this plain-looking girl from an ordinary family. No wonder this son quickly took a concubine.

Of course, Sweetie's mother had a different version of events: "Your mother was born to a concubine in a family that could barely be considered middle class. That concubine had ten children, only one of whom was a daughter. This daughter was still short and fat at sixteen, but it was said that she could have children like her mother. I recommended her to your father, and your father said that I was truly a virtuous wife. I insisted that a stallion must be mated with a mare, and if the mare gives birth to a foal, then it is no longer a mule."

According to Sweet Mom, my father and mother's relationship was "very polite, like strangers." In reality, my father was overly attentive, and my mother learned to take advantage of that.

Sweetie's mom said, "She's a schemer. She wears rose-colored clothes and flower-shaped hair clips, lowers her eyes provocatively, and then looks up at your father with a silly smile. Oh, I know what she's up to. She's always asking your father for money to pay off her nine brothers' gambling debts. It's too late to find out that her house is a den of snakes. Don't grow up to be like them, or I'll let the rats come in at night and bite you."

My mother is indeed capable of having children; she gets pregnant every year, which is something Sweet Mom was right about.

“She gave birth to your eldest brother,” Sweet Mom said, counting on her fingers, “and then your second brother. After that, she miscarried three more babies, which was a pity, but not a tragedy, because they were all girls.”

I was born in 1937, the year the Japanese army attacked Shanghai and engaged in an exceptionally fierce battle with the Chinese army.

Fortunately, the French Concession was relatively peaceful at the time, and my mother witnessed my birth.

“You should see what it was like when your mother was nine months pregnant with you. She was like a big melon stuck on a chopstick, walking unsteadily... Early in the morning, she said she was going to give birth, which made us wait for a whole day and night. The sky was gray, and so was your mother's face... You were too big when you were born, and it was a difficult birth. The midwife had a hard time carrying you out, and you were covered in blood.”

I trembled when I heard this. Was my birth a hellish experience?

"Your mother named you Bifang, God be my witness, I advised her to change it to something else. She said, 'Bifang—such beautiful white jade' sounds like an advertisement, people like to hear that. 'Bifang, Bifang, come buy Bifang!' Ha, 'Fart' is a name that suits you. Just like a fart your mother let out."

Sweetie's mom took out a hair clip to show me, but absolutely refused to let me touch it.

"Because your father gave your mother this ugly thing to commemorate your birth, that's why she named you Bifang."

This is an exquisite hair clip carved from green jade, adorned with small diamonds arranged in the shape of a peony. Wearing this hair clip instantly brings a touch of spring to a woman's hair.

The moment I saw the hair clip, I knew why I was named Bifang: I am the jade my mother cherishes, my mother's treasure, my mother's glorious spring—Bifang.

And that wretched Sweet Mom even wanted to change my name.

But I came up with a more suitable one: "I like the name Bibi, that's what my dad calls me."

“Okay, this name isn’t anything special, it’s too common. One of your dad’s German clients’ wives is named Bibi. Your dad asked her: In Germany, is Bibi an unusual name? She said: Absolutely not, ‘Bibi’ can be a French name, it can be German, Italian, it’s everywhere. Your dad clapped his hands and said there’s a very apt word: ubiquitous—meaning it’s everywhere. Out of politeness, your dad said that since it’s everywhere, it must be very popular and well-liked. I think if it’s everywhere, it must be terrible, like flies and dust.”

The day Sweetie's Mom said those words, she was wearing my mother's "ugly" hair clip. I wanted to take it off, but I really didn't dare, otherwise I'd get a beating. So I said at the top of my lungs that I would definitely use the name Bibi, and I would never change it. Sweetie's Mom said that since I was grown up and could choose my own name, I should know how my mother died.

My Childhood in Shanghai (3)

“She died from insatiable greed,” Sweet Mom revealed. “She already had too much, but she was never satisfied. She knew I was your father’s legal wife, the most respected and the most favored. No matter how many sons she had, your father might kick her out one day and find someone new.”

Did Father say that?

Sweet Mom neither admitted nor denied it: "Respect is permanent. Pampering will disappear, and temporary favor will soon be replaced by someone else. Men are all like that. Your mother understands this. You will understand it later too. But your mother couldn't accept reality and lost her mind. She loved sweets and couldn't stop eating them, and she was always thirsty, like a monster who drank the ocean and then vomited it up. One day, the little devil found her so mentally weak, so he crawled into her stomach. Your mother fell to the ground and struggled a few times, and then it was all over."