Gao Xiaojie thought for a moment and said, "What you said seems to make some sense. I heard that all students in the School of Life Sciences have to be present, which means that's like taking up hundreds of seats. And then there are all sorts of leaders and such. Dr. Li's reputation is so high that no one in our entire school can compare to him. I wonder what the point will be. But I still want to hear it, after all, he's so famous!"
Chen Xu thought to himself, "My SMMH is more famous than his, and you sometimes barely acknowledge me when I talk to you. How dare you criticize others?"
After thinking for a moment, Chen Xu said, "For lectures like this that are likely to be packed, the student union should arrange the seating, right? Generally, it's ticketed entry. Just make a call later and ask those guys in the student union for two tickets. You're so charming anyway."
Gao Xiaojie rolled her eyes at him and spat again. Chen Xu chuckled and said, "Remember to get two copies. I'll go listen to it too."
"Dream on! I want two tickets. I'm going with Jingjing to listen, I'm not taking you with me!"
Chen Xu chuckled, and the two chatted for a while longer. At this time, little Wang Mingmei woke up and came to the cake shop. Upon seeing Chen Xu, she immediately called him "brother" sweetly.
This little girl used to always oppose Chen Xu, refusing to call him "brother" no matter what. But ever since Chen Xu fought his way through the "Martial Arts Master" game and won the title of "Number One Martial Arts Master," her opinion of him completely changed. She idolizes heroes, and Chen Xu, well, he could be considered a hero, albeit somewhat.
Moreover, the "radio gymnastics" routine that Er Ya followed Chen Xu and Guan Yi to practice was the fastest to learn and improve because Er Ya was still young and had the best flexibility. This improved her flexibility to a new level, making her the center of attention in her class. However, because Chen Xu had specifically instructed her not to tell anyone about this, she only practiced it when she was with Chen Xu and Guan Yi.
Chen Xu patted her on the head, and the little girl stuck out her tongue and ran off laughing. Her silvery laughter could be heard from afar: "Sister Bixuan, I want to eat cake! Strawberry flavor! Ah, Uncle Wu Yuan, hello!" Chen Xu couldn't help but laugh out loud when he heard Wu Yuan muttering to himself. Now his eldest brother had completely become an uncle!
Just then, Chen Xu's phone suddenly rang. When he picked it up, he saw that it was his best friend from the university, Wu Yu, who had appeared in the throat-slitting incident.
Chen Xu answered the phone curiously, and Wu Yu's voice, sounding like he was crying, immediately came from the other end: "Chen Xu, congratulations, you're going to be an uncle..."
Chapter 175 of the main text: "Has a child?"
Chen Xu and Wu Yu were like brothers since childhood, always inseparable. They spent their free time together, staying up all night, watching porn together, fishing and shrimp-catching in the river together, and even taking the blame for each other's bad grades or late returns home. They practically lived together during summer and winter vacations, and their parents were quite familiar with each other… It sounds like childhood sweethearts, and if the term "childhood sweethearts" could be applied to men, then they truly were… childhood sweethearts.
This relationship lasted until high school. Boys generally want to travel and explore after growing up, and with the heavy workload in high school leaving little time for fun, the passion waned. After a wild summer in college, Chen Xu was surrounded by beautiful women and couldn't spare the time, while Wu Yu was also incredibly lucky with women. It's said that he hooked up with a senior soon after arriving, and the two became an inseparable couple, easily consummating their relationship. They were so infatuated that he forgot his brothers after getting a wife.
Adding to the trouble Chen Xu caused at the university last time, even beating up the vice-principal, which led to Zhu Wulei coming to their door. Although they eventually became friends, it shows how much the students at the university dislike Chen Xu… I reckon if he went to the university, he'd probably cause a brawl, and a whole bunch of them would gang up on him. And Wu Yu is heartless. Since getting married, he's only concerned with his sweet life, so even though they live in the same city, aside from the throat-slitting incident, they only exchange text messages or chat online… Male friendships are strange, but understandable.
Hearing this from the kid, Chen Xu's heart skipped a beat, and he couldn't help but think of the worst-case scenario: "What's wrong? You didn't actually give me a little nephew, did you?!"
Continuing from where we left off, Chen Xu's generation is a product of the one-child policy, with many being only children. Their parents' generation, however, rarely had only children; they were basically pampered from birth. They were doted on by their parents, grandparents, and a whole host of uncles and cousins.
Chen Xu and his friends had discussed that by the time their generation marries and has children, the term "uncle" would likely be a polite way of addressing the next generation. As for maternal uncles, well, probably not many of the next generation will have them; some children might not even know what the word "maternal uncle" means.
So, in a relationship like Chen Xu's and Wu Yu's, they said that if they had children in the future, they would recognize each other as godfathers... Of course, Chen Xu's subway buddies weren't limited to Wu Yu. Just during college, he had already given his future son and daughter three godfathers. So, the term "godfather" is too common, so he simply treated his best friends as buddies, calling those older than him "uncle" and those younger than him "uncle" to his children.
This "uncle" is no longer a polite term. It refers to a real uncle or paternal uncle.
Wu Yu is eight months older than Chen Xu. So it's perfectly natural for the child to call Chen Xu "uncle".
But... you have a child?
Wu Yu cried out, "Old Chen, please come to the Provincial Hospital right away! I've been so depressed all night. I only dared to tell you about this. What am I going to do?!"
Chen Xu had never dealt with this kind of thing before! He was still a virgin... how would he know what to do? Hearing this, Chen Xu panicked and couldn't help but curse, "You son of a bitch, can't you even use a condom?!"
"I fucking wore a condom!" Wu Yu yelled from the other end, "But the problem is even Durex isn't safe! You fucking shut up, okay? Come over and have a drink with me, that'll do!"
If it were in the past, Chen Xu would definitely have said, "You son of a bitch, drinking this early in the morning!" But now he just said, "Wait for me, I'll be there soon," and hung up.
After hanging up the phone, Gao Xiaojie looked at him strangely and asked, "What's wrong? Who were you discussing the issue of whether or not to use a condom?"
Chen Xu thought for a moment and figured Wu Yu's girlfriend was probably even more upset than Wu Yu was right now... she was the one who was pregnant! You know, even though society is quite open these days, premarital pregnancy among college students is still a big problem. She probably wouldn't dare tell anyone, especially not people she knows, so she needed some comfort from a girl. So Chen Xu simply hailed a taxi and said to Gao Xiaojie, "One of my buddies got his girlfriend pregnant. Come with me, let's go comfort the girl."
Upon hearing this, Gao Xiaojie frowned and said, "Damn it, none of you men are any good!"
Chen Xu got into the car, feeling dejected, and said, "Sister, please don't attack me like that. How am I not a good man? I didn't get anyone pregnant!"
Gao Xiaojie spat, but after thinking for a moment, she got into the car, sat next to Chen Xu, and pinched his thigh, making Chen Xu whine and yell. Then she said, "You want to do it, but who's going to do it for you?!"
That was such a lewd remark that the driver blushed, while Chen Xu huddled in the corner, too ashamed to utter a sound… because Gao Xiaojie had hit the nail on the head; he really did want to do it…
The taxi quickly arrived at the provincial hospital. After arriving, he made a phone call and Wu Yu came out to pick him up. Looking at Wu Yu's disheveled hair and haggard appearance, Chen Xu couldn't help but want to slap him twice... He's so damn irresponsible!
Wu Yu was taken aback when he saw Gao Xiaojie. Chen Xu explained, "This is Gao Xiaojie. You should know her. I think your sister-in-law probably didn't dare tell anyone, so I brought her along to help persuade her." Then, turning to Gao Xiaojie, he said, "When you go inside, you'll pretend to be my girlfriend, right? Otherwise, I won't be able to explain it to you."
Gao Xiaojie glared at him, but then, thinking of the girl inside, she nodded angrily. Of course, she pinched Chen Xu again.
Seeing how thoughtful Chen Xu was, Wu Yu patted Chen Xu twice, at which point Chen Xu was speechless.
Upon entering the ward, I saw a girl lying on the bed. She was fairly pretty, with delicate features, but her looks were average. She was nowhere near as beautiful as Gao Xiaojie, Guan Yi, and Zhan Jing, but her expression was very haggard. Her gaze was somewhat vacant.
Wu Yu whispered beside her, "Last night she suddenly had severe abdominal pain, so I took her to the hospital for a checkup. It turned out she was pregnant. I don't dare let her go home now, so I've booked a ward for her and we'll see what the doctor says."
Chen Xu wanted to yell at her, "You treat the hospital like a hotel? You just book a room whenever you want?" But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He smiled at the girl on the hospital bed and said, "Hello, sister-in-law." Then he pulled Gao Xiaojie along, giving her a half-hearted hug as they walked forward.
Gao Xiaojie was taken advantage of by Chen Xu. She was so frustrated she wanted to bang her head against the wall, but she still knew her limits and didn't make a scene. Wu Yu quickly said from the side, "Jiaojiao, this is my good brother Chen Xu, whom I've known since childhood. This is his girlfriend, Gao Xiaojie. They worked together on that game called 'Jin Yong Heroes.' You should know them. This is my girlfriend, Wang Jiao."
Gao Xiaojie then sweetly greeted Wang Jiao with a "Hello, sister-in-law," and magically produced a packaged cake from her bag. She sat down next to Wang Jiao and said, "We came in such a hurry that we didn't bring any fruit. Sister-in-law, you haven't eaten yet, have you? Try this cake I made."
Wang Jiao forced a smile and said, "Thank you, I know you guys." But after taking the cake, she held it in her hand without eating it, looking somewhat lost.
Gao Xiaojie gave Chen Xu a wink, and Chen Xu quickly pulled Wu Yu out. He decided to leave the woman's problems to her and take care of the man's problems.
How old are you?
"Two months."
"Are you an idiot, or is she your wife... never mind, she didn't feel it because her period wasn't here?"
Which one?
Chen Xu rolled his eyes and said, "Damn it, 'Auntie's period' is the scientific name for menstruation. Don't you know that women don't menstruate after they get pregnant?!"
Seeing Wu Yu's speechless expression, Chen Xu sighed to the heavens, "That son of a bitch is truly illiterate! I really suspect you didn't use a condom when you had sex!"
"No!" Wu Yu looked distressed. "I always wear condoms when it's not my safe period. I even bought Durex specifically because I was worried about the risks!"
"Safe period?"
"Yes! The seven days before and eight days after menstruation are considered the safe period, according to the books. It's okay if he ejaculates inside!"
Chen Xu almost went crazy upon hearing this: "So you ejaculated inside me even when it wasn't your safe period?"
Wu Yu said, "Yeah, wearing a condom is really unpleasant. Damn it, you little virgin, don't make such a fuss if you haven't tried it."
Chen Xu was truly enraged now, yelling at Wu Yu, "Damn it! What book did you read that? The 'safe period' for men isn't absolutely safe at all! Why don't you just learn how to ejaculate outside the vagina?!"
...
Chen Xu sounds like he has a lot of experience, but in reality, he only has a lot of theoretical experience. You know, this guy grew up in a hospital. His mother was a head nurse and even worked in the obstetrics and gynecology department for a few years! Plus, Chen Xu's rogue father would give him sex education whenever he had free time... Ah, it's so good to have a good dad!
Wu Yu was stunned for a long time before shouting, "How should I know! It's in the book!"
Chen Xu was utterly dumbfounded and could only sigh and lament to the heavens, "Illiteracy is truly terrifying!"
The two were standing in the lobby, talking so loudly that a middle-aged nurse next to them yelled back even louder, "Are you two illiterate?! Don't you know you can't make noise in a hospital?!"
The voice was like a Buddhist lion's roar, leaving Chen Xu and Wu Yu stunned. The middle-aged nurse looked at them with disdain and walked to the side. A younger nurse who seemed quite kind-hearted whispered, "Oh dear, they're probably just too excited. After all, the girl is pregnant. And they found out after two months, so she's not exactly illiterate!"
The middle-aged nurse replied, "That's true. Remember that sophomore girl from Hefei University who was seven months pregnant before coming to the hospital for a checkup? That's when she found out she was pregnant. Oh dear, students these days..."
Chen Xu and Wu Yu: "..."
As they reached the hospital entrance, Chen Xu lit a cigarette for Wu Yu… Chen Xu's smoking habit was something he picked up with this rascal; the two of them had been plotting to steal cigarettes from their fathers since middle school… After Wu Yu took a puff, Chen Xu asked, “What are you planning to do?”
Wu Yu looked miserable: "What else can I do? Abort it! Can I really give birth to it?! I'm a freshman, and she's only a sophomore!"
This answer was exactly what Chen Xu expected. To be honest, if it were him... he might have to have an abortion too, considering how young they are.
To be honest, Chen Xu was quite surprised after confirming the news. They had been discussing age and generational differences, but suddenly his friend had a child. It felt like he had instantly moved up a generation!
I've really become an uncle!
The city where Chen Xu and his friends lived was relatively peaceful; marriage wasn't considered early or late, unlike in some places where girls married and had children at sixteen or seventeen... In Chen Xu's hometown, the town where his grandfather lived, he had heard of a 36-year-old grandfather... He became a father at one year old, and his son became a father at 18, resulting in him being a grandson at only thirty-six. So, suddenly having a child with his good friend, even if the child wouldn't actually be born, made Chen Xu feel like he had suddenly grown a generation older and was going to be called "uncle."
The two were silent for a while, then smoked a cigarette. Chen Xu asked, "Are you planning to let your parents know about this?"
"How could I dare?" Wu Yu covered his head. "You know my dad's temper! If he were even half as easy to talk to as your dad, I'd be praying to Buddha! If he knew about this, he'd whip me to death!"
Chen Xu chuckled smugly. Indeed. Wu Yu's father was quite a serious man. It was unlikely he'd be as open-minded as his own father… As for his own rogue father, well… there was nothing to say about him. Ever since he met Guan Yi and then saw Gao Xiaojie online, every time he called, he'd ask, "Kid, got those two girls sorted out? Don't worry, Dad's totally support you! At worst, I'll just force myself on you and make it a fait accompli…"
Chen Xu hung up the phone after that. Good heavens, what a terrible dad! I've never seen anything like him! But putting myself in his shoes, if I really encountered something like that, well, having a dad like that would be great!
Chen Xu continued, "What about your sister-in-law's family? They didn't tell you either?"
Wu Yu shook his head, looking scared. Chen Xu knew he probably wouldn't dare to say anything, and his sister-in-law probably wouldn't either. Hey, if this happened to him, and his daughter got pregnant when she was still a student, he would definitely give the guy a good beating first, no matter if he was her boyfriend or not!
"Do you have enough money?" It's more expensive to have an abortion at a big hospital, but it's safer. Chen Xu saw a sign on a utility pole outside the school that advertised "50 yuan painless abortion." Good heavens, can you really go to a place like that? They'll abort your child, but they don't care about the woman's life. You should be more careful about this kind of thing, even if it costs money!
Wu Yu hesitated for a moment, then Chen Xu said, "It's okay, if you don't have enough money, just take it from me. Damn it, you better learn your lesson, okay? This is a one-time thing. If your wife gets pregnant again next time, you'll have to give birth to the baby! Too many abortions will thin your uterine wall, and you won't be able to have children in the future!"
Seeing Wu Yu's grateful expression, Chen Xu sighed and said while taking out his wallet, "We're brothers for life, so I'll clean up your mess for you."
When Chen Xu took out his wallet, he found that there were only a few red bills inside. He then remembered that he usually didn't carry much money in his wallet, and he had forgotten about it in his distraction. So Chen Xu said, "Come with me to withdraw some money. I remember there's a China Construction Bank nearby."
Wu Yu didn't say anything; given their relationship, there was no need for them to say anything now.
The two arrived at a nearby China Construction Bank. After the long delay, it was already past eight o'clock, and the bank was open for business... Similarly, classes had started at school, and Chen Xu naturally couldn't go back to class. But it's university, skipping a class is no big deal. Although he hadn't called, Chen Xu trusted his roommates' unspoken understanding; someone would answer for him during roll call. Upon arriving at the bank, he was surprised to find a line already formed so early in the morning. He learned it was the middle of the month, and many people were paying their utility bills. But damn it, despite the large number of people, the bank only had two windows open, and the two cashiers were incredibly indifferent, which was infuriating.
To be honest, some bank cashiers are really frustrating, and they are mostly from large state-owned banks, especially in smaller towns.
Chen Xu still harbors resentment towards the ICBC branch in his hometown when he was a child. Some of the cashiers there were relatives who got in through connections. Since it was a secure job in a state-owned bank, they didn't worry about being complained about. Moreover, there was only one ICBC branch in that town, so the cashiers' attitudes were unbearable. Eventually, no one dared to go to ICBC anymore. Things only improved after the branch manager stepped down and a few new staff members were hired.
The attitude of these China Construction Bank cashiers wasn't exactly awful, but they certainly seemed to be slacking off. They were working very slowly, and when someone urged them on from behind, they even looked up defiantly and said, "What are you yelling about? Can't you see we're busy?!"
He was busy, and when he had a spare moment, he would chat with the people next to him, telling jokes. Then, before a transaction was even finished, he would stand up and go to the back, leisurely bringing over a cup of tea. This attitude was infuriating. If Chen Xu hadn't wanted to withdraw 20,000 yuan to give to Wu Yu, exceeding the ATM's limit, he wouldn't have been leisurely queuing here.
After a long wait, Chen Xu finally arrived. As soon as he took out his card, the cashier, who was in her thirties and had freckles on her face, exclaimed, "Why don't you use an ATM to withdraw money? Aren't you wasting everyone's time by queuing here?"
You say I wasted your time? Why don't you see how much time you've wasted for us?!
Chen Xu was already extremely agitated, and hearing this made him instantly furious. Wu Yu, who was next to him, saw his face twitch twice. Having grown up with him, he knew perfectly well that Chen Xu's expression meant he was on the verge of exploding.
But Chen Xu calmly said, "You can't withdraw change from the machine." The ATM only has 100-yuan bills, so if you don't have 100 yuan on your card, you still have to go to the counter to withdraw it.
Upon hearing this, the cashier couldn't help but mutter under her breath, "Poor bastard," before calling out, "How much do you want?!"
Chen Xu chuckled coldly, entered the password, and said in an extremely calm voice, "Withdrawn."
The cashier raised her voice: "How much is it after you withdraw it?! Tell me the number! You're making this whole trip for just a few dozen yuan, tell me how much you want to withdraw? How much exactly?"
Chen Xu sneered: "Can you check my balance? I'm withdrawing it all, closing the account, and never opening a card at your China Construction Bank again. What kind of service is this?!"
Upon hearing this, the cashier immediately became agitated and shouted, "What's wrong with my service attitude? If you don't like opening an account here, then don't! Who asked you to open one? If you want to close the account, then close it. You're just a poor guy, what's the big deal!"
But when she looked down at the balance displayed on the screen, she was immediately stunned, her voice as if a noisy duck had suddenly been choked.
Chen Xu laughed: "Cancel the account? Take all the money out of my account! I remember I still have 1.37 million left, take it all out!"