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Capítulo 43

Mingyang tried to dissuade me, saying, "You can't wait for someone in a mental hospital, can you? If you stay here all day, you won't even be able to speak properly; it'll cause psychological problems. This isn't a good place!"

Too.

I saw people pacing back and forth in the small windows of the next few wards, laughing foolishly; no one wanted to admit they were abnormal. Some were manic, banging their heads against the iron door repeatedly, making a thumping sound that chilled me to the bone. Others had tears streaming uncontrollably from their dilated pupils, a sight that tugged at my heartstrings.

"Let's go!" Mingyang pulled me.

When I got back, I asked him, "How can we know when Ouyang will go to see Xiaoyuan?"

He laughed: "Money isn't a good thing, but it can provide convenience. It's these red and green paper bills that tempt people's greed. When that man walks into the mental hospital, someone will naturally notify us."

"You bribed that doctor?"

"I paid him two months' salary for a piece of useful information, and he was overjoyed."

"Don't do that again." I felt an indescribable sadness in my heart.

Perhaps these doctors also received money from the person who harmed Xiao Yuan. In ancient times, people cultivated the land and worked tirelessly to support their parents. Today, people are preoccupied with personal gain, resorting to any means necessary. Earning without effort has become something to be proud of and something to glorify.

Section 113: Approaching the Truth (4)

Money is truly like a sharp blade that kills without drawing blood. Greed can nourish hearts of stone, fueled by money and contempt. They only care about the present, not the future. They can only see the glittering paradise of the mortal world, but not the fiery red lotus of the deepest hell.

“It’s not that easy to transform yourself.” Mingyang patted my head like he was scolding a child. “Do you know how difficult it is for you to change the whole society all by yourself? Money controls the law, politics, and customs to an unprecedented degree. People’s material world is more prosperous than ever before, but they have lost their original nature in the spiritual world. This is another kind of paleness in this era. We can only try our best to make our desires old and coarse, and uphold our moral conscience, but we can’t ask others to do the same. Although we all want to be kind people, we are powerless when facing society. Right?”

I nodded.

Why do we have more and more worries as we grow older?

Wouldn't we be much happier if we were always children and could not see the various phenomena of the world?

“I’m not such a great person, I can’t care about the affairs of the world. The only thing I can think of, the only thing I’m passionate about protecting is your happiness!” He held the steering wheel with one hand and placed the other on the back of my hand.

Huh?

I always called him a child, but he's gradually maturing. These sweet words, while not cloying at all, are incredibly comforting, like the first taste of sugarcane after a period of bleak sadness. It turns out we don't have great happiness, but we've always cherished small moments of happiness, and that's a joy we've never experienced before.

A small, turbulent current is stirring within me.

So I like him too!

well……

As our car was turning the corner, a black Hongqi car came from the opposite direction and passed us by.

This road up the mountain leads to only one place: the mental health treatment center.

I shook Mingyang's arm to make him stop: "I have a feeling that Ouyang was in that car that just passed by."

He looked me in the eyes: "Are you sure?"

I had a feeling.

"Okay." He trusted me completely and immediately turned the car around and went back.

What kind of person is Ouyang?

The Hongqi car was parked in the courtyard of the physiotherapy center, and a young man got out. He was wearing a brown jacket and a very old-fashioned canvas hat. He was quite tall, and from behind, he looked like a recent graduate.

"Shall we get off?" I asked Mingyang.

"Wait a minute." Mingyang took out a cigarette from his zipper, lit it, and glanced outside. "I bet he's just here to deliver money and won't be going to see Xiaoyuan."

"Why?" I was choked by the smoke.

He quickly extinguished the premonition: "A feeling. Wait a little longer."

Sure enough, Mingyang's phone rang a little while later. It was the doctor calling, telling Mingyang that the person had arrived, but was only there to deliver money and would be leaving soon.

"Why?" I asked, puzzled.

“If he keeps coming here to see Xiao Yuan’s current state of illness, he’ll probably go crazy himself.” Mingyang gestured for me to get out of the car. “I guess he’s seen Xiao Yuan when she was having an attack before, and he wanted to run away after seeing her once. He’s been too scared to see her since.”

Is that really the case?

At the end of the corridor, we saw a tall man emerge from the infirmary and walk towards us step by step.

"Ouyang!" I jumped out and called out to him as he walked up to me.

The person who came was startled, then immediately lowered their head and walked away quickly.

I quickly caught up with him: "Why are you running? I'm calling you! Ouyang!"

His face didn't look like someone in their twenties at all; it looked more like someone in their fifties. His skin was loose, and his eyes were large and puffy. He raised his head and stared at my face with his red, swollen, carnivorous eyes, his sharp gaze fixed on me. His wrinkled nose and withered lips twitched as if he were chewing on hard, unpalatable roots. He pulled at the tip of his thin neck and let out a raven-like sound from his throat: "You've mistaken me for someone else."

I was startled and took a step back, but then stubbornly blocked his way: "Ouyang, have you come to see Xiaoyuan?"

His eyes widened as if he were startled, and his body trembled slightly, but he still refused to admit it: "You've mistaken me for someone else."

Have you really admitted your mistake?

I am not reconciled.

"What is your relationship with Xiao Yuan? Why are you helping her continue paying her medical bills?"

"What's it to you?" He seemed to be provoked and very impatient, shoving me away.

Mingyang helped me up and smiled at the man: "I think you don't need to come anymore."

I looked up at the bright sun, my eyes filled with doubt. His calm eyes didn't blink, shining as brightly as the stars.

Section 114: Approaching the Truth (5)

“Xiao Yuan has passed away!” A meaningful smile appeared on his lips. “Didn’t the attending physician tell you? It seems that doctor is too unscrupulous, actually trying to swindle your money in this way.”

The man, who looked much older than his actual age, froze, his face turning pale and his lips turning purple: "What did you say?"

"Aren't you going to check on the ward? It's empty now, and there are some light purple medicine stains on the sheets. If you go any later, everything will probably be replaced with clean ones, and there won't be a trace left."

Clearly, the lie Mingyang fabricated was a bolt from the blue for him.

The dejected man clutched his chest and staggered toward another part of the corridor, his throat churning as if he had a scalding hot glutinous rice ball stuck in his throat and couldn't swallow it, making indistinct sounds.

"Let's go." Mingyang took my hand and followed behind the man.

What would he look like when he saw Xiao Yuan, who looked withered and emaciated?

Is he really Ouyang?

It was still that small iron window.

It was as gloomy and damp as a prison cell.

The man peered desperately inside, but he seemed to see nothing. Perhaps the contrast in light was too great, and he couldn't adjust to the darkness. He rubbed his eyes and continued peering…

Just then, I saw a wisp of white mist drifting in.

White with a grayish tinge, gray with a bluish tinge.

It's her?!

Xiao Yuan's soul.

She stood behind him, peering closer, then drifting away, then peering closer again, observing him closely...

Is he Ouyang?

How come even Xiao Yuan doesn't recognize him?!

"Ah—hoh—" The man in front of the iron bars collapsed to his knees with a thud, his lips trembling so badly he couldn't close them. "She...she's really dead?"

How could that be?

I was so startled that my whole body trembled. Mingyang and I rushed to the window at the same time, squeezing in to look inside.

Huh?

The bed was indeed empty.

Nobody here?

Is she really dead?

"Xiao Yuan—I'm so sorry!!" The man knelt down in front of the iron bars on the window, slapping his face desperately, wailing in agony as he convulsed.

I looked at the wisp of soul with a puzzled expression: Is this person really Ouyang?

The wisp of a soul nodded, then staggered and laughed wildly, its voice shrill, yet more sorrowful than weeping.

Logically speaking, Xiao Yuan's lover, Ouyang, should only be around twenty-three years old. How could he look so old?

"If you have something to say to her, just say it!" I advised him.

He looked up at me, puzzled.

"Her soul lingers around you, unwilling to leave."

His shoulders trembled, his gaze focused on a single point, about to come to a close. He was clearly panicked, terrified, and incredulous.

“I’m serious.” I pointed behind him like a wizard, my expression serious and mysterious. “Right there, more sorrowful than you.”

Ouyang's eyes were filled with tears: "She's here? She's here? Really?"

"Xiao Yuan, when you committed suicide in front of me, I was truly shocked and terrified. I was extremely conflicted. For a moment, I felt angry and regretful, yet I also wanted to harden my heart and ignore you. But I pounded my own heart, asking myself, could I really let you die in front of me without feeling any heartache? I realized I couldn't. Several times I wanted to reach out and help you, but that restless desire in my heart kept whipping me, preventing me from getting close to you, from softening my heart. Otherwise, I would lose a chance to rise to prominence."

"Do you know how difficult it was for me to get close to the Party Secretary's daughter? I went to great lengths to stay at the university, and so many graduates were vying for that job."

But I'm so sorry!

"I know myself. I can fool anyone but myself."

“I used to love you so much… You appeared in my life like a butterfly lightly gathering dew, and my gray college life became colorful after you came into my life. But I abandoned you for my own selfish desires… No… not abandoned, I betrayed you!” He took off his old-fashioned canvas hat with trembling hands. “But I’ve already been punished! Look, all my hair has fallen out…”

Indeed, his forehead was so shiny it reflected the light of a mirror, with very little hair left, resembling a smooth gourd ladle.

“Ever since you were sent to the mental hospital, I haven’t had a moment’s peace. The first time I came to see you here, they tied you to the bed, your eyes were bulging out like they were about to pop out, and blood was gushing from your nose. I was terrified by the grotesque sight. I wanted to run away right then and there, but my legs were too weak to obey me. Since then, I’ve had nightmares every night. It’s like a poisonous weed has grown in my heart. The torment of guilt is relentless and endless. I’m almost going crazy…” His sobs contained many strange elements, complex and chaotic.

"Look at my face, I look like I've aged thirty years." He frantically scratched his face, as if he wanted to tear it off.

"So you're still grieving for yourself, not for her..." I suddenly felt a pang of sadness.

"No! That's not how it is!" he hurriedly explained. "After she became seriously ill, I hired the best doctors to treat her and she underwent more than twenty tests, but they couldn't find the cause of her illness at all. But she was in pain all over her body and couldn't eat or drink anything... I had no money. To save Xiaoyuan's life, I had to humble myself and beg a woman, a proud woman who treated life as dirt. She could crush and trample on my self-respect as a man, as long as she could give me money, I could prolong Xiaoyuan's life. During this time, I've become so debilitated that I don't even recognize myself anymore. If Xiaoyuan is slowly walking towards death, then I am already riddled with holes and utterly vulnerable." He beat his chest, stamped his feet, and lay on the ground, convulsing and slumping like a parasitic weevil.

A moment of prosperity may be exchanged for a long period of suffering. If one had understood the poison of greed earlier, why would one exchange the most precious thing for it?

The cost was too high!

I asked Ouyang, "Do you know what illness Xiaoyuan has?"