Accord de Mu Yucheng

Chapitre 84

"Are you still trying to linger?" Nangong glanced at me disdainfully. "Don't tell me you still have feelings. They've probably all worn away long ago. You've done everything you could. What's left to hold you back?"

"It's not that I'm reluctant to leave. I'm not qualified to go with you." I said this with a smile, as if it were a joke.

Nangong was taken aback. She clearly understood my implied meaning, but instead of responding directly, she brought up old memories. "Back then, you also unwillingly married into the capital. Do you remember crying on my shoulder, saying you didn't want to go—have you forgotten?"

“I haven’t forgotten. You swore to me that one day you would take me back to the manor. I haven’t forgotten your promise.”

"I'll come and take you away right now—"

"I don't."

"Zhao'er—"

I shook my head, forcing a bitter smile. "Nangong, I finally understand. You never called me Nalan, only Zhao'er. Because you couldn't bring yourself to say those two words. There was never a Nalan Qingqian in this world, and I am not Nalan either!"

Nangong's hand holding the cup froze, the carefree smile vanished from his lips, and his gaze fell on his fingertips.

I pulled out the Nalan token from my waist, fumbled for the words on it, and suddenly threw it out the window. Nangong instinctively stood up, not looking out the window, but staring at me, "Are you crazy!"

“That’s fake. The Nalan token I’ve worn since I was a child, which I received from my maternal grandfather, is fake.”

Nangong looked at me with a somewhat dazed expression. "That's right, it's fake. So, you have to forget the kindness of raising you for more than ten years, and completely cut yourself off from all of this. Does the truth or falsehood really matter that much?"

"It wasn't mine to begin with, I can't afford it!" he said, clenching his fist tightly.

"Okay, even if we don't go back to the manor, come with me, okay?" Nangong suddenly pulled up my sleeve, and his serious tone made me feel like it wasn't him anymore.

“A month ago… the Crown Prince of Western Xia died in the Central Plains. I am my uncle’s only relative, and they want me to return to Western Xia.”

The last thing I wanted to hear… he still said it… Yes, I almost forgot, Nangong is from Western Xia, the crown prince of Western Xia who was raised at Nalan Manor since childhood. Before the Western Xia king suffered a crushing defeat in the war against our dynasty, the emperor not only kidnapped the Queen Mother of Western Xia, but also took Nangong, who was then the crown prince of Western Xia, hostage. The Queen Mother of Western Xia was given the title of Yuanfei, and she was Lu Xiu's mother. It is said that Crown Prince Nangong was separated from his family during the escort and ended up among the common people. In fact, he was rescued by Shui Wulei, the master of the Water Palace at Nalan Manor at the time. Later, my maternal grandfather renamed him Nangong Jin, so he has been my study companion since childhood.

"And then—" I said expressionlessly, "You're not going to say that you want to go back to Western Xia to be some damn crown prince, and then go to war with our dynasty to fight for lost territory, avenge the murder of your father and the kidnapping of your mother, to vent the grievances you've endured in hiding for so many years, and to vent the resentment that your Western Xia has been suppressed by our dynasty for so long! You're going to say that even though you don't want to, you still have to become our enemy, right? Nangong Jin? No—the crown prince of Western Xia."

"I don't."

“You have—your father fought against our dynasty his whole life, until his death! Your mother was forced to her death by our dynasty, your uncle became a puppet king of Western Xia, living in constant fear, and now your cousin, the crown prince, has died under mysterious circumstances. Even you—didn't you learn advanced swordsmanship so that one day you could assassinate the emperor? Do I need to list any more? I was foolish enough to follow my grandfather's example and protect you, even knowing you were an enemy of our dynasty, I still wanted you to become a woman and stay by my side. You haven't forgotten, have you? I said if you wanted to stay by my side and continue to be my friend—don't mention your identity for a single moment! It seems you've already decided to become my enemy.”

He grabbed my shoulders, his voice filled with pain.

"Listen to me—I have no intention of being your enemy. I want you to come back to Western Xia with me—"

I stared at him blankly, puzzled.

"I am confident that I can stop the hatred. The marriage alliance, with the princess of the imperial dynasty marrying into the Western Xia, will make the Western Xia and the Central Plains friendly from now on, and it will also save face for my uncle..."

I pulled my hand away from his, feeling both amused and exasperated.

"What? To give your uncle, the King of Western Xia, some face, do you want me to marry him or you—"

“Him.” Nangong gritted his teeth. “According to the customs of Xixia, after his death, you will be my concubine.”

"That means—I will eventually marry you."

"yes."

"Where is Murong? Your beloved Murong Qi... are you going to give up?"

"This is fate, and we can only accept it."

"Nangong Jin—what do you take Murong for? Do you treat me like an object again? As tribute, as something to bring honor to your Western Xia? I am not an object, I am a person. If I were to marry into the Mongol or Liao people through a marriage alliance, I would do it—but I cannot marry you in this way, because although it cannot match Murong's true feelings for you, I still truly love you! I cannot ridiculously treat myself as an object and marry you—I have already been forced into marriage as an object once, and it has left me in pain all over—you all treat me as an object, you all use me, use me to control the emperor, use me to seize power, and... you... to preserve the face of Western Xia. Have you ever asked what I think? Yes—I love you—I despise—I insist on loving someone I cannot love—I am truly humble, but I am not so humble as to be ignorant."

I shoved him away and burst through the door, only to bump into a wall of people. It was him… When did he get to stand outside the door? Even Nangong hadn't noticed…

Lu Li glanced down at me and went into the inner room. I followed behind him, speechless as I watched his ashen face.

"Oh, who do we have here? Does Your Highness want Jinniang to unbutton three more buttons?" Nangong suppressed his sadness and forced a smile as he teased.

Lu Li glanced at me and said calmly, "You go out first, I have something to say to him alone..."

"I want to know about him." I straightened my clothes and calmed myself down.

His face darkened, and he turned to stare at Nangong, who casually sat down and poured himself a drink.

"You have no right to take her away!" Lu Li walked to the table in a few steps, sat down steadily, and his words were authoritative without being angry.

“We’ve known each other for a long time, and our friendship is far deeper than yours. How could I not have this right?” Nangong raised his head and laughed. “Can Rong Zhaozhi really come back? Doesn’t Your Highness find this absurd? What are you to her? Someone you’d rather die than have anything to do with again… May I ask, between the two of us, who hurt her the most? Do you still want her to continue being used as a pawn? Or perhaps Your Highness… also needs this pawn!”

With a "whoosh," Lu Li flung his sleeves and put his hands behind his back. He, who was always calm, had almost never been so furious before. He looked at Nangong with extreme sharpness and coldness.

"She is my wife." Lu Li spoke each word with a chilling sternness, each one sharp and chilling. "If I live, I will not allow her to go with you!"

Nangong's face changed color. Lu Li looked at him coldly. "She's not afraid of being used, because she's used to being used. She only seeks momentary pleasure. Whether she's deceived or deceives herself, it doesn't matter. Even if she's deceived and used a thousand times, she can see through the coldness of human relationships because she cares about that affection more than anyone else. Even if you use her to fight for the Central Plains, she won't hate you. She only cares about whether your affection for her will change because of this struggle for the world." Lu Li's tone gradually softened, and he even cast a glance at me at the last sentence. "She only cares whether the people around her will abandon her one by one because of this world."

Nangong slowly stood up, looked straight at Lu Li, and finally spoke: "Since you understand that she faces all the pain with equanimity, do you know what Zhao'er hates—why she repeatedly abandons her for the sake of the world?"

Lu Li was stunned. I stood there blankly, without tears or words, only a bitter smile.

"I will not let you take her away—" Lu Li said coldly, "This is the dignity of my dynasty, and also my dignity. If you are not satisfied, then bring your troops to attack, and I will not be afraid of you." After saying that, Lu Li turned and left indifferently, without even glancing at me.

Nangong watched his departing figure, narrowed her eyes, and said softly, "Zhao'er, perhaps he... loves you. His apparent indifference is just a facade masking a deep-seated, relentless struggle."

I nodded: "I know—"

“Since you all know each other, you actually—” Nangong shook his head and stopped talking.

I looked at him and suddenly laughed, "You came all this way just to put on this show?!"

Nangong laughed loudly, returned to the table, and swirled the fine wine in his cup. "I know you won't come with me. If you won't go back to Huainan with me, where else can you go? I find this mansion quite nice, how can I bear to let you leave like this? If only someone could stop you. Of course I have to go back to Xixia to handle matters. As for a marriage alliance, any woman would suffice. Why did you insist on acknowledging you and refuse to let it go?"

Nangong always seemed to see right through me. He had no intention of forcing me back to Huainan, yet he knew of my struggles to stay in the capital. He always managed to influence me in his own unique way. Just like now, he wanted to persuade me to stay, forcing Lu Li to blurt out the word "wife." So when I threw out the Nalan token, he saw Lu Li walking in through the window and was determined to stage this farcical marriage alliance.

He wanted me to understand that Lu Li wasn't unaware of me...

Chapter 1 Quietly

After seeing Nangong off, it was a sweltering afternoon. I waved my fan as I watched his carriage disappear into the distance, then turned back to look at the plaque of the Ning Shuo Prince's Mansion, and for the first time, I found it so glaringly conspicuous.

After several days of sweltering heat, a torrential downpour followed. As the rain subsided, Qin Lanruo was seen walking towards Zhi'er with her arm around him outside the window. Raindrops pattered down from the eaves, and the two figures seemed unreal and dreamlike.

After Lan Ruo and Zhi'er bowed to me together, Lan Ruo sat down to watch me, Zhi'er tightly embraced by her. Seeing this scene, I suddenly felt they seemed more like a mother and daughter. Lan Ruo hesitated for a moment before Zhi'er spoke first, "Mother, who is she?" Zhi'er pointed at me, looking at Lan Ruo, her voice full of confusion.

Lan Ruo quickly pulled down Zhi'er's hand that was pointing at me, her voice hoarse, "You recognize her, she used to be your Aunt Yan Zheng."

Zhi'er turned around and looked me over carefully, but shook her head. "No, she's not my aunt."

Lan Ruo was taken aback, carefully observing my expression, and said in an even softer voice, "Don't talk nonsense."

"Your Aunt Yan is dead." I said casually, as I picked up my tea.

Lan Ruo looked at me in surprise, then quickly stood up and pressed Zhi'er down to kneel down with her.

Looking at Qin Lanruo's cautious demeanor, I couldn't help but want to laugh, and tried to soften my tone, "Sister?"

Lan Ruo trembled, her face stiffening even more.

“You…” I paused, then nodded in realization, “You’re afraid of me too.”

Lan Ruo looked at me with a complicated expression. She turned to Zhi'er and said, "Zhi'er, she is your mother. Quickly recite 'Mother Consort'!"

Zhi'er was puzzled. He shook his head. "I don't know her. She's not my mother!"

The voice was shrill, childish yet sounded as if the lungs had been emptied from the body. I laughed almost inaudibly. "Sister, you're confused. When did I ever give birth to a daughter?"

Lan Ruo's face was pale. She looked at me, a bellyful of words she wanted to say, but she didn't know where to begin.

From the moment Zhi'er was born, you were destined to be her mother, not me!

I rose to return to the inner room. Lan Ruo prostrated herself before me. "Your Highness, the Prince has ordered me to bring the child back. Your Highness... please accept it."

Seeing that the situation was getting out of hand, Liu Shang quickly came up, took Zhi'er's hand, and led her away, gently closing the door behind them.

I looked at Lan Ruo on the ground, trying my best to hide my emotions, and just smiled, "Tell Master that I really don't remember being anyone's mother."

Lan Ruo took my hand and let it fall silently. "Does Your Majesty blame me or the Prince? If it's the Prince, I have to say that I'm the one with selfish motives. The Prince often said that he would tell the child the truth when she was older. It was me who kept putting it off. I really wanted to treat her as my own child."

"Since you have the intention, I will grant your wish." I reached out to help her up, but refused to look at her again, saying nothing more. Just as I was about to turn and go into the inner room, I heard voices approaching from the courtyard. I walked a few steps to the door, opened it, and Lan Ruo followed behind me.

Lu Li stood not far away, followed by Yao Shuhuan and more than twenty family members, young and old, who had accompanied her back to the manor. He had still brought her back. Apart from Lu Li and her, everyone knelt down, and auspicious words immediately filled their ears. Although they didn't know what the rumors in the capital were about, that they had made everyone, young and old, fear me so much, their fear wasn't out of respect.

I stared intently at Lu Li, waiting for him to utter his first word.

"I'm bringing Huan'er back." Lu Li's voice wasn't loud, but everyone could hear it clearly. "She is, after all, my wife."

Upon hearing this, I almost laughed. This was the same reason he refused to let Nangong take me away.

I was so confused; she was also your wife? And what about me? My former wife?

I looked at Lu Li with a smile, wanting to tell him that this reason was not good, but he said again, "The Grand Commander sacrificed himself for the country."

Every word is sincere and every word is written with effort.

I tried to find the anger in his eyes, the rage he felt towards me. But he had already turned his head and said softly to Yao Shuhuan behind him, "After you have paid your respects to the Princess, go to the south courtyard. Lanruo has already prepared Hengting Residence for you."

Yao Shuhuan responded softly, only then realizing that the Yao Shuhuan in front of Lu Li was actually gentle and graceful.

Lu Li gave no further instructions, only leading Xiao Si into the study. I glanced around the courtyard, dismissing the maids and old nanny, and looked at Yao Shuhuan, saying, "Let's go inside first."

At Lan Ruo's prompting, Yao Shuhuan performed the proper courtesies and offered tea, saying, "Shuhuan greets the Princess."

A cup landed in front of me. Without rushing to pick it up, I calmly asked, "Is this seat of honor in the Prince's mansion comfortable to sit in?"

Upon hearing this, Yao Shuhuan trembled, and boiling water splashed from her teacup, scalding half of her hand. I reached out and picked up the tea, placing it beside me. "I understand your resentment, but you don't need to put on this act for me. You're faking it, and it's tiring to watch."

Yao Shuhuan then stood up, stared at me, and a smile appeared in her eyes. "After all, she is a woman of the Rong family. She is indeed extraordinary."

"According to the order in which you entered the manor, you are—" I frowned and hurriedly tried to think.

“Seventh,” Yao Shuhuan blurted out.

"It seems so." I nodded. "In the past two years, it is said that the Emperor has also bestowed three concubines upon him. Where are they currently housed?"

Yao Shuhuan remained expressionless. "Apart from Xie, who passed away a year ago, the remaining two are the daughter of the Vice Minister of Revenue and the daughter of the Censorate. Because they were never favored, they have always followed Consort Ding in practicing Buddhism."

"After all, she is the lady of the household. It's not right for her to stay in the palace all year round. Let's send someone to the palace to bring her back."

Yao Shuhuan chuckled dismissively, "What's the point of bringing it back? Just to display it?"

“Good suggestion.” I replied with a smile, peeking half my face out of the teacup. “If Consort Ding asks what we’re bringing back for, that’s a good answer.”

"Rong Zhaozhi, are you getting carried away now? The only one who can make all the decisions in this palace is the Prince!" In the end, she couldn't hold back for long. My few half-joking words made her lose her composure.

"Little sister~~" Lan Ruo couldn't help but remind her from the side.

"I might be the only one who can make decisions about women's affairs!" I slowly stood up, my words full of confidence.

Yao Shuhuan was speechless, only staring at me with her beautiful eyes. I chuckled inwardly; she truly didn't understand the meaning of survival. As I walked past her, I casually reminded her, "Sister, remember to learn to refer to yourself as 'concubine.'"

No longer paying attention to how out of control she was, I turned around expressionlessly and lifted the curtain of the inner room. The only sound I heard was the sound of a teacup falling and shattering behind me. I stopped in my tracks without turning back.