La vie parfaite sous la dynastie Song

Chapitre 71

I sat bolt upright, drenched in cold sweat. The scenes from my dream were vivid in my mind, but I couldn't recall certain crucial details. I'd had that dream again. I gasped for breath, wiping my forehead. It seemed that seeing Fan Zhong had made the dream crystal clear; some fog was being lifted before my eyes, the truth was about to be revealed. But what was this wave of fear washing over me? I felt I had to know the truth, but knowing it would cause me unbearable pain.

The door was gently pushed open, and the moonlight outside cast long, pale shadows on the person who entered. I smiled weakly and said, "Yihan, did I wake you up again?"

He closed the door and came to my side instantly. The candlelight reflected in his dark eyes, revealing a hint of worry and heartache: "Did you have a nightmare?"

I nodded and leaned against him. His cool, refreshing breath enveloped me, and my previously anxious and flustered emotions miraculously calmed down. I gently held Yihan's hand, playing with it lightly. His index finger was long and slender, with well-proportioned knuckles, unlike my soft one. His palm bore thin calluses from sword practice, as if it contained a thousand pounds of strength, yet remained unleashed. I asked, "Yihan, what kind of person is Ren Yao, really?"

Yi Han paused slightly, then looked down at me. I sighed and said, "I don't know why, but these past few nights I've kept dreaming about him dying in Naihe Pavilion. Was my affection for him really that deep before?"

Yi Han's body stiffened slightly, his eyes deep and distant as he looked at me, but he still spoke in a cold voice: "When you first met him, you felt an instant connection, and even said that you never expected there would be someone in this world whose thoughts were so similar to yours. Later, I accompanied you to Shuiwu to reorganize Yixiu Academy, and you didn't think of him often afterward. When you returned, you heard that his whole family had been imprisoned. Although you were worried at the time, you were still able to handle things calmly and analyze the situation. Until Ren Yao's servant brought you a letter written by him, your face changed drastically upon reading it..."

"A handwritten letter?" I sat up abruptly. "Yihan, where is that letter now?"

Yi Han, who had been letting me hold his hand, suddenly grabbed mine instead, his grip light but firm. But his expression remained unchanged, and he said calmly, "Back then, the young master cremated him along with his body and scattered the ashes into the sea."

I smiled wryly, snuggled back into his arms, wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, and sought a sense of security.

Yi Han helped me lie down, his voice clear yet gentle: "Sleep, I'll be watching you."

In the warm candlelight, his face no longer appeared so stern; instead, it strangely revealed a refined and elegant air. His silver hair swayed gently, occasionally catching a glimpse of red. My face flushed slightly, but then I saw the silver hair suddenly come closer, the ends lightly brushing against my collarbone before falling softly down and mingling with my black hair.

My lips felt warm, and his eyes, illuminated by the candlelight, were right in front of me, gently and tenderly licking my lips. I closed my eyes and hugged him tightly. These past few days, whenever no one else was around, we often kissed like this, or simply embraced. There was an indescribable warmth in my heart, as if it were a tacit understanding we had shared for a thousand years, quiet in our leisure time, but surging like a raging storm when it erupted.

When that long, tender kiss ended, we were lying in bed, embracing each other. He had one arm around my waist and the other gently caressing the skin of my cheek, my burning earlobe, my delicate collarbone, and the warmth of his fingertips.

"Yihan..." I was still a little out of breath and whispered, "Can you hold me while we sleep?" Only in this cool embrace could I feel at ease and not be disturbed by nightmares.

Yi Han's eyes were a deep, dark shade of emerald green and pitch black, yet they held a deep tenderness and affection. He nodded as he got up, took off his shoes and coat, and lay down beside me. The soft, warm blanket covered us both, enveloping the cool air in a cozy warmth. He reached out and pulled me into his arms, embracing me completely, and whispered, "Sleep."

I nodded, yawned, buried my face in his chest with a faint smile, and fell into a deep sleep.

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The next day, I was somewhat absent-minded. Even when Yang Yi asked me if the marriage proposal to the ruler of the Fire Feather Kingdom was good, I only gave a half-hearted reply. It wasn't until Zi Mo repeatedly reminded me that I suddenly snapped out of it and found Yang Yi looking at me thoughtfully.

"Lin Yu, are you still feeling unwell?" he asked with a smile. "Or do you still not want the princess to marry?"

I quickly shook my head to distance myself: "Your Majesty is wise. As long as the princess is willing, this marriage will be entirely beneficial to Jin Yao. How could I possibly object?" Yang Yi nodded noncommittally.

I frowned and pondered for a long time, then suddenly stepped back and knelt on the ground: "Your Majesty, I wish to go to Naihe Pavilion alone. I hope Your Majesty will grant my request."

Yang Yi was taken aback, his expression unreadable: "That place is now just an abandoned mansion. Did Lin Yu leave anything there? I can send someone to retrieve it for you."

I shook my head and said, "Your Majesty, I only wish to go there to remember my friend."

Yang Yi reached out and helped me up, a kind smile on his face: "Alright! But remember not to worry too much, or you'll hurt yourself, and I'll be heartbroken."

I got goosebumps all over, so I quickly thanked the emperor and took my leave, hurrying out of the imperial study.

As I stepped back into Naihexuan, the indescribable pain continued to spread throughout my body. I subconsciously grabbed Yihan's hand to draw warmth from it. He paused slightly, then grabbed my hand in return and pulled me into his arms.

The furnishings in Master Xuan's bedroom remained unchanged, only shrouded in a desolate and lifeless atmosphere due to its long period of vacancy. A scene from her dream flashed through her mind again: the slow, agonizing destruction and fall of that clear-eyed, innocent boy. Even though she was completely unfamiliar with his face, the pain was unbearable, as if she had lost something most precious.

I walked to the bedside and looked at the brocade quilt, now covered with a layer of dust, which I slowly closed my eyes. The scene in my dream was vivid and grotesque. The boy's body was covered with whip marks, his lower body was in disarray, and the sheets were stained with blood. The bright yellow sheets had turned dark purple from the blood. His beautiful deep blue eyes were as dark and sinister as the ghostly fire of hell, filled with humiliation, resentment, and despair.

My whole body began to tremble uncontrollably, even though Yi Han held me tightly. Even if I were an idiot, I knew what had happened here. That prince… how could that prince be so beastly? For two whole years, how many dark and hopeless days did he spend here?

I moved my feet softly. On the cold stone floor before the table, the boy lay curled up. I held him tightly, but I felt his body grow colder and colder, his eyes darkening. His pale, thin hands, veins bulging, gripped my clothes tightly. His voice was hoarse and filled with grief: "I hate it so much... I want to destroy all of this..." Something on his wrist suddenly flickered, so bright I had to close my eyes. When I opened them again, the light was gone, the boy had breathed his last, and the thing on his wrist had vanished. I stumbled and fell into Yi Han's arms, clutching my head. What was that? What was that on the boy's wrist? It was so familiar, like a key to unlocking a deep mystery; if I grasped it, I would know the whole truth.

Every decoration here, even every blue brick, exudes a profound sorrow, silently seeping into my heart. The boy imprisoned here spent two years etching his pain and hatred into this place, an inescapable torment. I carefully examined every spot, and suddenly noticed some strange characters on the bedside table. Upon closer inspection, they were densely packed regular script characters. I counted them one by one, each additional character feeling like a knife twisting in my heart. A total of one hundred and thirty-odd regular script characters, their initial neatness transforming into a frenzied chaos, yet all deeply etched. What were his feelings as he looked back at each stroke he had carved?

As I stroked the tally marks, my hand suddenly paused. Although tally marks are not easy to decipher, the first few neat characters looked so familiar. I pondered for a long time, but couldn't recall whose handwriting they resembled.

"Young Master, let's go back," Yi Han said gently, holding me close.

I nodded, somewhat dazed, and followed him outside. Suddenly, with a loud bang, the celadon urn on the table was accidentally knocked to the ground and shattered. The calligraphy and paintings inside rolled all over the floor. I was about to pick them up when Yihan grabbed my arm. "Be careful not to hurt your hand. Let me do it." With that, he bent down and picked up the calligraphy and paintings first. With a slight flick of his long sleeve, the shards seemed to come alive and gather around his sleeve. Suddenly, his hand paused, and more shards scattered on the floor. He picked up a piece of white and red silk from the shards and handed it to me. "What's this?"

Xiao Yi

2007.10.7 15:48

Chapter 49: The Mystery Ends.

Bystander *Xiao Ni, long review! I just saw it, so happy! ^_^

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Chapter 50 Life and Death Hovering

Chapter 50 Life and Death Hovering

Suddenly, Yi Han paused, scattering porcelain shards all over the ground again. He picked up a piece of white and red silk cloth from the shards and handed it to me: "What is this?"

I hurriedly took it and unfolded it, a sudden tremor running through me. It was clearly a letter written in blood. Without saying a word, I carefully examined each character on the silk and read on:

"The darker the world, the uglier the human heart. I'd rather go mad than suffer like this, so lucidly. Kill! Kill! Kill everyone who has hurt me, even if it means destroying everything and dragging everyone down to hell. I'm willing to do it."

But who am I? What are those strange scenes in my dreams, those inexplicable memories in my mind? I always feel like I'm searching for someone, someone very important. If I can't see her, I'm not willing to die like this.

I hate it! I hate this world! I hate this country! Go to hell! I curse you all to go to hell...

Where are you? I've waited for you day after day, searched for you day after day, why haven't you appeared yet? I long to go back, to the world where you are. But that's just a dream, a beautiful yet cruel dream…

Some say that if sin has tainted the world, then let it be washed away with blood. Others say that weakness itself is a sin. It must be that I was not strong enough, which is why I was cleansed by filthy blood. If I could do it all over again, I would seize power, grasp everything that could make me stronger, and I would rather betray the world than let the world betray me.

I dreamt of you again; you must have been by my side before. But why haven't you come to see me? Is it all just an illusion, including you, including that world, and even including myself...?

Love breeds hatred, love breeds fear... Haha... Destroy! One day, I will destroy you all, all that I love and all that I hate. May you all be utterly destroyed!