La vie parfaite sous la dynastie Song

Chapitre 181

I lowered my eyes, avoiding Xu Lie's ambiguous smile, and went into the kitchen. I casually made a sandwich, drank it with milk, and walked somewhat awkwardly into the living room. Actually, what I really wanted was to avoid them and leave directly, but the two textbooks for the afternoon class were still there.

As I walked past them, I forced an awkward smile. Xu Lie looked up and asked me casually, "You're back?"

His words seemed a bit abrupt, but I knew exactly what he was talking about, so I nodded. Then I picked up the textbook from the coffee table and said, "I'm going to class."

Xu Lie suddenly stood up, walked in front of me, and blocked my way without saying a word. He looked at me and smiled, but there was no smile in his eyes: "Have you seen the person you've been longing for?"

A pang of sadness welled up inside me; I didn't know why things had turned out this way. I forced a smile and shook my head, saying, "Not yet, but we'll find him eventually."

“We’ll find her eventually…” Xu Lie murmured, repeating my words, his eyes icy cold, but his smile growing even brighter. “That’s very well said. By the way…” He raised his handsome eyebrows at me, then gestured towards the somewhat dazed woman on the sofa, “You won’t mind if I bring someone back, will you? After all, I also need to find my ‘real’ wife, don’t you think?”

He emphasized the word "truly." I couldn't laugh anymore. I was already sleep-deprived, and now my head was throbbing. Facing Xu Lie, I didn't know what to say. After stammering for a long time, I could only manage a low, hoarse voice: "Xu Lie... don't be like this... your parents will worry."

Xu Lie sneered, his anger swirling like a raging storm, threatening to erupt at any moment. Yet he continued to smile, seemingly indifferent, showing only contempt and disregard for me, as if I would never hurt him again. If… if it weren't for the pain in his eyes: “You truly are a good daughter-in-law, a good wife! Your parents cannot be harmed, my parents cannot be harmed, the reputations of the Xu and Lin families cannot be harmed, so the only one who can be harmed is your husband, is that right? Should I thank you for protecting the Xu family's reputation and being so filial to my parents?”

If you hadn't orchestrated my amnesiac descent into the wedding hall, we wouldn't be where we are today. I wanted to retort like that, but it ultimately turned into a bitter smile. What's the point of us attacking each other like this? Young love is always spirited and unrestrained. Once we've squandered our chance, we think we can rekindle it through mutual provocation and arguments, but that's just wishful thinking.

Xu Lie suddenly turned his head away, clenching his fists tightly at his sides before slowly relaxing them. When he turned back, a cynical smile graced his face: "Fine, from now on, I won't care whether you want to go to ancient times or the modern era. Even if you disappear into thin air one day, I'll make up a heroic reason to protect the reputation of the Xu and Lin families. Of course, what women I bring home in the future is none of your business, and you'll even have to help me cover it up. You know, I don't want Mom and Dad to be sad either! In public and in private, we're still a model couple."

I looked away, not daring to look at his face again. My heart was beating slowly, my pulse was throbbing, and my whole body ached.

My chin tightened suddenly as Xu Lie's long, slender fingers gripped my jaw, forcing me to meet his burning gaze. "What? You feel ashamed that I brought someone back? But you should know that your husband is also a normal adult man, and he also needs comfort. Of course..." His face drew closer to mine, his hot breath on my face almost suffocating me. Yet, even so close, I could still see the smile playing on his lips, cold and eerie: "Of course, if you, as his wife, are willing to provide that service, I wouldn't mind..."

With a "slap," I knocked his hand away, looked him straight in the eye, and said calmly, "As you wish, I will cooperate with your cover-up. Excuse me, class is about to start, please let me through."

I walked past him and left. It wasn't that I wasn't suffocated with frustration, nor that I wasn't heartbroken and guilty. Who was right and who was wrong back then? Whose decisions were right and who was wrong before and after the wedding? How can things be clear now?

But my enemy has already received his just deserts, his eyesight restored. Five years have passed mercilessly in my heart, and the once intense love and piercing pain are now just memories, lingering in my mind but never truly settling there again. My connection with Xu Lie ultimately ended in that brilliant spring.

Next update: July 11

Chapter 34 Indulgence (Part 2)

It's somewhat unbelievable that I discovered, simply by regaining a fragment of memory and attending psychology classes as Lin Yu, that there were so many things to explore and ponder. No wonder, after I gave up history and switched to finance, Zi Mo insisted I take psychology again.

Perhaps because Chi Fei was still inside me at the time, I learned things a generation faster than before. In less than three months, I made up for the credits I missed in finance. Of course, obtaining a bachelor's degree in finance in such a short time is completely unreasonable and would have been absolutely impossible without the help of the Xu family.

I still had a headache after leaving the psychology class. After all, in the past, time travel was only mental fatigue, but now it was both mental and physical fatigue. I wonder if I can make it through three months.

As I walked out of the teaching building, I saw someone I never expected. I forced a smile, my eyes reflecting her clean and refreshing face, but I could no longer feel the same simple joy as before: "Wei Ye," I said.

That woman with short hair, a spirited face, and a clean smile—who else could it be but Xu Weiye?

Wei Ye walked up to me, suddenly reached out and patted my face, and said with a smile, "Let's go, let's find a place to talk."

I smiled and nodded. No matter what happened in the past, I swear, I will always love Wei Ye's gentle and soft voice.

Instead of going to a coffee shop or teahouse, we sat down on a quiet patch of grass. The moment my bottom touched the soft, slightly prickly grass, all my fatigue washed over me. I plopped down on the ground, spread my arms, and looked up at the blue sky and white clouds.

"Galan, you've already guessed who I am, haven't you?" Wei Ye didn't lie down, but just sat with her knees drawn up to ask me.

"I should say I remembered." I smiled, remaining in the same position, the gentle breeze on my face making me want to drift off to sleep. "Your voice and your smile are really special. Even though I was almost unconscious at the time, I think I still managed to etch your image into my mind, which is why I felt so familiar when I saw you."

I tilted my head and suddenly laughed, "What exactly is your identity? A shrine maiden? Where did you get that water chain that can make people travel through time? Why did you choose me and Yufei?"

Wei Ye chuckled softly: "You have quite a few questions. Let me answer them one by one. First, I am not a priestess, but one of the messengers of the God of Ishu—the manager of the spacetime connection of the Ishu continent. Actually, I am just an ordinary person, but I can see many things that ordinary people cannot. Second, the water chain is the tool for opening spacetime rifts, and since I am the manager of spacetime, of course I have it. As for the third... there is too much to say."

Wei Ye sighed, a shadow finally clouding her cheerful smile, her eyes filled with a hint of guilt and helplessness: "Galan, do you still remember the story of the nine generations of the Tianxingliu Sword Sect turning into demons?"

I nodded, sat up, and listened quietly to her. It was clear to me that what Wei Ye was about to say was the beginning of everything, or perhaps its end. Thinking this, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of melancholy.

"For the sake of his own cultivation and for the unification of the continent of Yixiu after the war, every few hundred years, the divine son Chifei would merge his soul with that of a child under the age of ten who was exceptionally gifted. This would multiply his intelligence, charisma, luck, and so on, until his death. However, those who became the reincarnations of the divine son, despite possessing wisdom that was unmatched by ordinary people, all of them did not live past the age of twenty-five. This is probably the true meaning of 'the heavens are jealous of talent.'"

"By Qin Luo's generation, the Tianxingliu Sword Sect was not far from becoming a demon in the ninth generation, and Fu Yu was the most terrifying and cold-blooded star soul in history. The goddess was worried that the Yixiu Continent would face a thousand-year calamity, so she ordered Chi Fei to stop it. However, before Chi Fei could merge with the host's soul, the host died unexpectedly."

"At that time, the goddess said that this might be the real turning point, and that the soul from another dimension could save the continent of Ishu. I was hastily entrusted with the important task of opening a spacetime rift and searching for dying souls in this world. Little did I know that as soon as I opened the crystal ball, I saw you and Nie Yufei, who were on the verge of death after being hit by a car. So I brought you to the Crystal House."

"The reincarnation of the divine child has been going on for thousands of years, but there has never been a precedent in the records of him being born as a woman. Just then, I checked the Book of Life and Death on the continent of Ishu and found that there were two children who died at the same time, both under the age of ten, and who had extraordinary talent from a young age. One was a six-year-old girl named Qin Luo, and the other was a nine-year-old boy named Ren Yao. So even though I found that the divine child's soul was near Qin Luo, I still couldn't make a decision."

Wei Ye turned to look at me, a bitter smile on her face: "That was the first time I took it upon myself to reincarnate a spirit, but I never imagined it would cause him a fate worse than death. At that time, you two were both on the verge of death, and I no longer had time to turn back and ask the goddess; I had to make the decision myself. When I took out the two water chains and put them on your wrists, all I could think about was the image of the fat man carrying the unremarkable girl, bleeding all the way. I superimposed that image with my own past... So, I forgot about the consequences and only wanted you to live. However..."

My breath hitched, and I couldn't help but ask, "But what?"

Wei Ye buried her face in her knees, her voice slowly becoming low and hoarse: "When I heard your faint breathing gradually become calm, I felt a surge of excitement. You both came back to life, and I finally won my gamble. But the moment I turned my head, I saw the water chains on your wrists, and I realized how wrong I had been."

"The water chain is originally blue. As long as you wear it to travel to the continent of Ishu, when you wake up in the modern world after your life ends, you will forget everything. Even if you have some vague memories, you will only think that it was a dream. Then you will continue to live in the modern world for another thirty years. These thirty extra years of life can be considered compensation for your soul to experience the suffering of war."

"However, I saw the blue color of the water chain on Nie Yufei's hand slowly fade and turn transparent. As for the water chain on your hand, perhaps influenced by him, it flickered between blue and purple, finally settling on a strange hue that was neither blue nor purple."

"The purple water chain is a spacetime oscillator; those who wear it will wander between two worlds, suffering perpetual mental exhaustion until the chain breaks. The transparent water chain, on the other hand, is a forbidden object for spacetime travel because it has no clear definition of its function. It will also constantly move with its owner's soul depending on some opportunity, and the suffering endured by the soul during the physical transformation is unimaginable. The power of the transparent water chain is beyond our control, and it doesn't break easily. In other words, it cannot end one's suffering."

"Later, I kept watching you all on the continent of Ishu. I kept watching and watching, and then I realized that the most painful thing is not death, but the unbearable agony of not being able to die..."

Wei Ye's voice gradually faded away, like the whistle of a train that sped up and then disappeared from my ears. I closed my eyes, and the scenery vanished, replaced by the faces of Yu Fei, Ren Yao, and Liu Cenfeng flashing before my eyes.

I do harbor resentment towards Yufei; he killed me and nearly caused Zimo's soul to be scattered. But now, thinking back, why did Yufei become like this? Why did he suffer so much pain to become like this? Isn't it all because of me?

I always felt that in these two worlds, anyone could find happiness, and anyone could find happiness through some kind of persistence. But Yufei lost everything the day he was imprisoned in Naihexuan! His former innocence, joy, and persistent protection, and his simple yet peaceful world, were all lost because of me.

Or perhaps he was truly exhausted, tormented by loneliness, isolation, and hatred. In that world, no one was his support, no one his lifeline. Even I, whom he once risked his life to save, had developed a more important obsession than his.

How could someone as desperate as him not hate?! So, he wanted me to die with him, wanted me to suffer, wanted me to bear his child. He didn't truly hate me; he was just using such a pathetic and pitiful method to express his loneliness and fear.

I'm always like this. Even knowing his pain and loneliness, I still resent him and fear him. Then, I find all sorts of reasons to abandon him.

I suddenly lay down, feeling as if my chest was being ripped apart. My eyes stung, but not a single tear came out.

Yufei, Nie Yufei! Even if I don't love him, he was the person I searched for for more than ten years, the only person I cared about in that world! In my heart, he is not the person I love the most, but he is the most special person I can't let go of.