Meng Yang slowly moved over, wanting to make one last struggle.
"What's wrong?" Meng Yang placed the flower tea next to Liu Zhi.
The scene was so familiar; Liu Zhi's current state was exactly like Meng Yang's that day.
Everything has been turned upside down.
"You're the landlord, aren't you?" Liu Zhi's gaze fell on the glass.
“This…” Meng Yang choked up.
“I started to have doubts when the locks were changed,” Liu Zhi analyzed. “The so-called landlord is actually your father.”
Her voice was so calm that Meng Yang began to panic.
Liu Zhi dialed the number, but the call was disconnected after ringing twice.
Meng Yang's heart tightened, and he almost dropped the cup.
She felt like she was finished.
All his thoughts were being peeled away little by little and exposed to Liu Zhi.
Considering what happened in the past, Liu Zhi was determined to move out of here and cut off all contact with her, just like in high school.
Thinking of these things, Meng Yang's eyes welled up with tears. She hummed softly, trying to control her emotions.
Liu Zhi curled her outstretched fingers, momentarily at a loss for words.
“Meng Yang,” Liu Zhi rubbed her temples, “between us…”
Liu Zhi sighed and continued, "We... shouldn't be like this."
The whole world fell silent, and Meng Yang could almost hear the ticking of the clock in the living room.
"What should it be like?" Meng Yang looked up at Liu Zhi. "What should be like between us?"
Liu Zhi rested her arms on her knees, rubbing her temples.
She has a splitting headache.
"Like in high school again?" Meng Yang choked up, "Never to see each other again?"
“Liu Zhi…” Meng Yang’s eyes reddened, and she covered her face, no longer looking at her.
Are you moving out?
Liu Zhi felt a dull ache in her heart.
Meng Yang's words, spoken with a sob in his voice, were like a small hole piercing her heart, from which blood was gushing out.
There is a similar voice in my memory.
Are you moving out?
Sixteen-year-old Meng Yang looked up at Liu Zhi, tears welling up in his eyes.
Liu Zhi turned her face away, not daring to look at her.
"Don't you like sitting next to me?" Meng Yang choked up. "If there's anything I did wrong, you can just tell me, and I'll change."
"No," Liu Zhi said in a muffled voice, "I want to sit in the front."
"You're lying." Meng Yang stepped back a little, pulling his table away from Liu Zhi's.
After a brief standoff, Meng Yang said, "You should move out."
...
That seems to have always been the case between them.
Two people who like each other are trying to maintain a balance.
Once this balance is broken, the scales tip to one side, and everything carefully maintained will collapse.
Meng Yang healed his wounds alone, while Liu Zhi shrank back and hid.
Their feelings withered away each time they began to blossom.
"I want some peace and quiet, my head is throbbing." Liu Zhi opened her eyes.
The little ball seemed to understand her emotions, and nuzzled against her ankle.
Meng Yang's eyes dimmed, and he made no reply.
She was very sad.
Chapter 22 Depressed
Liu Zhi once saw a quote that said, "The person who pushes you away may be the one who longs for you to stay."
She pushed Meng Yang away with her own hands, but actually wanted her to stay.
All of this stems from a deep-seated inferiority complex.
Inferiority complex can make a person timid, or it can teach a person to pretend.
To outsiders, Liu Zhi is a neurosurgeon with striking looks, exceptional temperament, and a capable and composed demeanor.
Only Liu Zhi knew that she was actually a timid and introverted person.
Because of timidity, one is afraid of making mistakes and is cautious in everything; because of introversion, one is not good at interacting with others, and over time becomes indifferent.
Liu Zhi kept all her affection hidden in her heart, simply because she cherished Meng Yang enough.
She felt unworthy of Meng Yang's affection—both in terms of family background and character.
Back when she got through to her roommate on the phone, Liu Zhi had a vague feeling that something was wrong.
Reason told her to stay away, but suppressing the feelings in her heart urged her to keep going.
She used coincidence as an excuse to numb herself again and again, comfortably enjoying the peace that Meng Yang provided.
Liu Zhi lay on the bed, thinking about many things.
During their high school years, Meng Yang, who came from the capital, rented an apartment near the school with an elevator, while Liu Zhi lived in an old-fashioned apartment with a staircase hidden in a high-rise building.
Meng Yang's mother was intellectual and elegant, and kind to others, while her other mother was vulgar and mercenary, complaining every day about soaring prices.
Meng Yang is sunny and cheerful, and she has no shortage of friends wherever she goes, while she is gloomy and sullen, and has long lost the vigor of a young person.
When others praised Meng Yang, they could use a long list of adjectives to express their admiration, but when it came to Liu Zhi, all that was left was "mature and experienced".
Mature beyond his years.
Meng Yang didn't hide her emotions; she wore her affection for Liu Zhi on her sleeve. Coupled with the innocent charm unique to young people experiencing their first love, Meng Yang finally cautiously expressed her feelings to Liu Zhi.
Liu Zhi reacted very sensitively. She was initially delighted, but then a deep sense of inferiority arose within her.
Sometimes, being liked by an outstanding person can also be a burden.
The naive Liu Zhi was not very tactful in handling matters, so she adopted the most foolish method—pretending to be stupid and quickly escaping.
On the day Meng Yang transferred schools, all the students in the class wrote farewell letters, except for Liu Zhi, who did not see him off.
She stood at the corner of the stairs, clutching her parting words, watching Meng Yang's figure disappear into the distance.
...
From day to night, Liu Zhi's mind was a complete fog.
She imagined many possible outcomes and prepared for the worst.
On the second day of the Lunar New Year, Liu Zhi took painkillers and went to the affiliated hospital more than an hour early.
She clearly felt that she was not up to the task at hand today and was not in the right state of mind to handle things.
During work breaks, Liu Zhi splashed cold water on her face several times, forcing herself to clear her mind of the jumbled thoughts.
Being busy allows Liu Zhi to forget the unpleasant things in her life for a short time. She fills her time to the brim and even takes on the tasks that she used to assign to interns.
At the same moment, Meng Yang sat listlessly on the edge of the bed, clutching a pillow. His eyes were dim, and his mood was low.
The furry children sat hungry at her feet, eagerly waiting for lunch.
It wasn't until the little dumpling meowed that Meng Yang's eyes regained some of their sparkle.
Meng Yang finally stood up and walked out of the bedroom.
The house was quiet, as if she had never been alone.
After setting out the cat food, Meng Yang went to wash up.
Liu Zhi's mouthwash cup was placed in the corner of the washstand. Meng Yang looked at it, and his emotions rose again.
With Liu Zhi not home, Meng Yang even lost the will to cook. She returned to her bedroom, lay down on the bed, and stared at the ceiling.
A moment later, she turned over and buried herself under the covers.
Meng Yang felt increasingly aggrieved.
Sometimes she really wanted to wake herself up.
Liu Zhiming clearly didn't like her, but she kept insisting on it.
All relationships only have meaning when they are reciprocated. One-sided love is, in a sense, a futile effort. Even if it succeeds, it won't last.
She understood the道理 (principles/reasons), but whenever Meng Yang saw Liu Zhi, her heart would wander away. All her self-discipline became nothing but a bubble, eventually bursting as she drifted away.
After spending the morning in mourning, Meng decided to go out for a bike ride to clear his head.
The weather is nice today, everything is so wonderful.
The breeze made Meng Yang feel a little better.
Riding my bike along this route to work, familiar scenery comes into view.
The bakery we went to with Liu Zhi, the zebra crossing we crossed with Liu Zhi, the alleyways we walked through with Liu Zhi...
Meng Yang, whose mood had just started to improve, became depressed again. She turned her car around and went straight home.
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Author's Note: