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If Xie Weiying's hatred for you runs as deep as An Jin's love for you, then An Jin's love for you runs just as deep.

The dark sky, like a vast curtain, was now dotted with stars. A bright, solitary moon hung in the air, emitting a pale, cool light. The moon was large and round, seemingly within reach, yet reaching out to grasp it revealed its great distance and height—like being so close, yet so far away. The air was slightly cool, the night pleasant. Dressed in white, I sat on the roof of the Frostfall Palace, able to see the myriad lights of Kyoto. This reminded me of a winter night in Beijing, tranquil and serene, exuding a noble elegance. And then there were the winter nights spent walking through empty streets, few people around, only the bright neon lights illuminating the way home.

A melodious zither tune drifted in, its notes delicate and flowing, yet possessing a unique charm. I sat on the rooftop, sighing deeply, chin in hand, immersed in Su Da's music. Seeing my dejected and lost state, she chuckled softly from the courtyard. I ignored her.

It's been a week since I got back. But for some reason, I, who always slept soundly and without fail, have started having insomnia, and the symptoms are severe. No matter how tired I am, no matter how much I want to sleep, once I lie down in bed, I just can't fall asleep. As this situation has continued for a while, I've started to have headaches, look haggard, and have developed dark circles under my eyes, enough to rival our national treasure, the panda.

Knowing I couldn't sleep, knowing I appeared on the roof every night, Su Da started appearing in the courtyard every night as well, playing the zither and keeping me company. Although she didn't say anything, only occasionally letting out a few sarcastic laughs, I could feel her thoughtfulness. She was like another Yun Ying, always there for me, caring for me. Speaking of Yun Ying, upon hearing I was back, she even came to Luoshuang Palace to complain that I hadn't taken her with me on my long trip. Of course, she also brought a lot of silk and beautiful fabrics, saying they were for me to make clothes or decorate my room when I was bored.

Sigh, since I can't sleep, I guess I should find something to do when it's light out. I'll work on the design drafts I've been piling up for months, and decorate my room—I want it to look like it used to be in my old apartment. I'll also groom those ladies, do their hair, and design some nice hairstyles. And then there's my comic—after all this, I have new material. That eccentric heroine has a new adventure.

Maybe I should draw a time-travel story. I'm currently in the Jin Dynasty, so I'd draw a comic about women from this dynasty traveling back in time. The Qin Dynasty sounds good; I really like the Qin Dynasty, and I really admire the handsome, powerful, and ambitious Qin Shi Huang. This idea is good, hmm, pending. I wonder if people in this era could accept it, or rather, believe it?

"Are you sure you want to keep looking like this, letting your eye bags grow as big as an old man's pipe?" The music had stopped sometime during the night. Coming to my senses, I looked at Su Da in a daze, and what I saw startled me. My body reflexively leaned back. Good heavens, was this the usually icy and aloof Su Da, the beautiful Su Bing? Hands on hips, with the air of a gossipy old woman yelling in the street, her eyes blazing with fury, she practically wanted to roast me alive. If only she could climb onto the roof.

I stammered, "Su, Su Da, you don't need to get so agitated."

"How can I not be excited?" Su Da cursed angrily, "Just because I'm with you, my body is out of balance now, anger is harming my health, and I've even broken out in pimples on my face."

I muttered under my breath, "Then you don't have to come with me."

"What did you say?!" Su Da was almost going crazy: "What kind of medicine did you take this time? You look like you're about to die. You can tell that cold-faced imperial physician directly, so he can cure you in one go."

I continued to gaze at the moon, chin in hand, and then, just as Suda was about to have a hysterical outburst, I let out a heavy sigh. Sigh... If I knew where I went wrong, I wouldn't be so worried.

Suda ran away in tears, completely speechless towards me.

I watched *The Lord of the Rings* again. The grand scale, the unparalleled battle scenes, and the exquisite details remain unmatched. I wonder when China will produce such a wonderful, breathtaking work—a work about fantasy and the future. The beautiful elf prince, with his captivating white hair, and the beauty with the sapphire blue eyes; the handsome and brave king; Gandalf, the embodiment of wisdom; and the short but crucial hobbits, Frodo and Sam—all showcasing the importance of the ordinary. The white buildings built around the mountains are incredible, so beautiful. The monsters are so realistic; the city ruled by Mordor is so eerie. The stone castles, the steep cliffs, the cities suspended in mid-air—they all have a powerful presence. The city shrouded in darkness feels like a dream.

Volume 3, Chapter 86: Two-Faced

The day I returned, Xiao Quanzi was so excited that she almost forgot their master-servant relationship and clung to my neck. Su Da, on the other hand, remained indifferent, simply saying, "You're back." I knew her nature was always like that, so it wasn't surprising. However, Xiao Quanzi later secretly told me that after I left, she had kept a cold face, like a block of ice, her face always saying "Keep away," and they had all suffered. After hearing of my return, she smiled for the first time in a long time, though still faintly, the curve of her lips couldn't lie. And the night after I arrived, Xiao Quanzi heard her maniacal laughter as she passed her room, which terrified her, making her think she'd encountered a ghost. She mustered her courage and knocked on the door, but Su Da opened it with her usual calm and indifferent expression, making Xiao Quanzi think she was hallucinating.

I laughed. So it turns out that Su Da, who always presented herself as an ice queen, was actually two-faced. Later, I casually brought it up again, and Su Da actually blushed, but still vehemently denied it. Seeing her embarrassed expression, I pretended not to know anything and didn't press her further, but secretly I chuckled to myself countless times. So she does have a tender and adorable side after all.

Su Da told me that after I left, two people came to Luoshuang Palace looking for me: one was Consort Huan from Xiaotiao Palace, and the other was Yu Ya, who had been close to me since childhood. However, Su Da dismissed them both, saying that I was seriously ill and unable to receive guests. Before long, rumors spread throughout the palace that Consort Xie, who had been banished to the Cold Palace, was suffering from poor health, which worsened due to her loss of favor and depression. Those with a conscience spoke of me with a hint of sympathy, secretly hoping I would be condemned to hell and never rise again. The concubines, gloating, all said it was my retribution, because I had been so arrogant all along.

However, I know that what they all felt was the same: thankfully, they had persuaded their fathers, who were then in power, to impeach me and punish me; otherwise, I wouldn't be in this situation today. It was their combined efforts that convinced their fathers to submit memorials to the emperor.

Those hypocritical people, those hypocritical ministers—I clearly remember how their eyes widened when I danced that day. Afterwards, they gave me grand speeches about womanly virtues and ancient teachings.

I'm not worried about Yu Ya contacting me, but Consort Huan isn't stupid. After using the same excuse several times, she's bound to become suspicious. I think I need to be careful with her. I wonder what her purpose is in visiting a concubine who's been banished to the Cold Palace. Sigh, this is really a headache.

I still remember when Su Da told me all this, her gaze was complicated as she said, "Never before has a concubine who has been confined to the Cold Palace received so much attention. Wei Ying, you can't deny your specialness."

I just gave an awkward laugh: "Maybe I offended them before I came here. They're here to make fun of me."

When Consort Huan arrived, she was accompanied by only one attendant, and she spoke with humility and politeness. No one would believe that she was there to cause trouble. However, if she did not want to talk about Su Da, she would naturally not ask.

The air was filled with the delicate fragrance of sandalwood incense. The beautiful woman, who had been lying on the chaise lounge with a languid and languid expression, her eyes slightly narrowed, suddenly sat up with delight when she saw the figure appearing in the doorway.

"Your Majesty, you're back."

Sima Rui smiled slightly: "Consort Huan, it's been a long time." He then casually put his arm around her, giving her a warm hug.

"Everything is alright while I'm gone," Sima Rui said gently.

Consort Huan smiled faintly: "Everyone else is fine. The infighting is even more exciting without you here. But the person you've been telling me to keep an eye on never shows up."

Sima Rui raised an eyebrow: "What do you mean?"

“I’ve gone to see her at Luoshuang Palace several times, but she always refuses to see me. The little eunuch guarding the gate says she’s seriously ill and shouldn’t see anyone. But I always feel that something is amiss,” Consort Huan said, frowning.

"Seriously ill?" Sima Rui was somewhat surprised, then muttered to himself, "It seems she's always been in poor health, so it's not surprising."

Consort Huan recalled that seemingly frail woman, yet inwardly cheerful and open-minded, who managed to maintain her individuality and find her place even in the complexities of the harem. How could someone like that be, as rumored, fallen from favor and banished to the Cold Palace, suffering from depression, a relapse of her old illness, and on the verge of death? Anyone could believe her, for she had always appeared sickly. Besides, those banished to the Cold Palace were bound to suffer from depression, mental instability, and in severe cases, even madness or insanity. But she didn't believe it. Having remained an outsider in this palace for so long, she couldn't have misjudged someone. She didn't believe she was truly as the rumors claimed.

Sima Rui sat down on the couch, sighed softly, and closed his eyes wearily. Consort Huan walked over and naturally rubbed his forehead. Sima Rui sighed comfortably, and the corners of his mouth unconsciously turned up.

Consort Huan seemed to sense something: "What's wrong? Did something happy happen outside?"

A muffled voice said, "I found him. But—" Thinking of his tricks, Sima Rui smiled helplessly. He had drunk too much that day, and even now, the thought of it gave him a throbbing headache.

He only remembered drinking together at Pengjulou Restaurant, then getting drunk, and then remembering nothing more. When he woke up, he found himself in an inn; Xiao Jin was gone. He asked the innkeeper and learned that a handsome young man had brought him there. Sima Rui could easily guess that the young man the innkeeper was talking about, who was even more beautiful than a woman, was Xiao Jin.

After several years apart, he had become even more beautiful, almost surpassing the concubines in his harem. His skin was so smooth and flawless, almost wrinkle-like, and rounded like pearls and jade, that he was far superior to any other woman.

For some reason, a thought began to take root and sprout in my heart.

Keep him by your side, in whatever capacity.

Keep him by your side.

Keep him by your side.

This selfish thought kept lingering in my mind after I met him again.

"You found him?" Consort Huan was somewhat surprised; no wonder he looked so pleased.

"Yes. I found him. I finally found him."

"So what do you want to do?"

Sima Rui said bitterly, "I don't know, I don't know."

Would he be willing to give up everything to stay by your side?

Sima Rui opened his eyes, which were filled with helplessness and confusion: "In fact, I don't know, and I don't even dare to ask. Consort Huan, I never knew that after being emperor for so long, there was anything I was afraid of, so afraid that I didn't dare to know the answer, and didn't dare to take this step."

Consort Huan understood. She had felt the same way back then. This fear, like ants slowly devouring her bones, was excruciating; the dread of losing someone was like a slow, agonizing torture, tormenting her heart night after night. But so much time had passed, so long that those romantic memories had faded. Perhaps, the past was nothing but a mirage to her. Just like the Emperor's feelings for her—surely, it was a dream, unattainable.

But even knowing this, I don't want to wake up from this beautiful dream.

Looking at the emperor's haggard and sorrowful face, things seemed to be getting more and more complicated.

"Does Your Majesty still remember that woman in swaying blue robes?"

"That folk artist who claims to draw a strange kind of comic to record stories and mock the royal family?"

“Yes,” Consort Huan said with a smile, “Your Majesty should take a look at all the picture books she has published, and you will know how wonderful they are.”

"Really?" Sima Rui replied with a lack of interest: "What's so new about that?"

"Yes, His Majesty has seen through the fierce competition among the concubines in the harem for your favor, so it's no wonder that his painting vividly recreates everything that happens in the palace." Consort Huan's tone was indifferent, as if she were talking about something insignificant: "Moreover, the woman in the painting is particularly special, as if she has the temperament and shadow of the person His Majesty mentioned."

"Are you sure?!" The man jumped up: "Quickly find a complete set and send it to me."

"Your Majesty, please don't be impatient. This story isn't over yet. I'll send you a complete set of all the copies that have been published right now," Consort Huan said with a smile. She knew he would react this way when she mentioned him; he was so eager.

"Oh," Sima Rui said, lying back down with relief. But the next moment, he got up as quickly as possible: "Then I'll go back and take a look."

I watched the whole Bourne series, it was really good. I have to go back tomorrow. Sigh, being home was so great, it went by so fast. Time to go back to normal life, no more having two computers in front of me but neither connected to the internet. But also, no more watching movies while taking a bath. This holiday with everyone was great. Thank you to everyone who supported me, thank you all. Everything will be better after I go back to school, and I'll update more often. Let's all do our best in the new semester!

Volume 3, Chapter 87: The Desolate Beauty

"Crack—" An unidentified object flew in and smashed into the celadon vase opposite, shattering it into pieces with a loud crash. The shards on the ground seemed to mirror his expression at that moment, broken and sorrowful.

"Find this Qingyi Yaoye. This time, you have no time to waste. You only have one month, at most one month, and I need to know the result. If you can't find her, bring her head to me. I want to know who this Qingyi Yaoye is! Who is she!" Sima Rui's face was ashen. For some reason, as if it were a premonition, he felt that the Qingyi Yaoye who drew "The Affairs of Women in the Harem" was very familiar. At least he was related to Xiao Jin, and at least his appearance might mean he knew some of the truth.

Why does that woman in the book feel so familiar? Every smile, every frown, including her disguise, her apparent humility, her cleverness—it all feels so familiar. Consort Huan was absolutely right; that person felt incredibly familiar to him. Yet, he couldn't quite pinpoint what that familiarity was.

Chen Wen looked at his furious master, and at the brightly colored sketchbook lying on the ground. He bowed his head and said, "Yes, Your subordinate understands." In an instant, a black figure disappeared into the night.

Only Sima Rui's lonely figure remained in the empty hall, lost in thought. After a long while, he looked up at the door and said, "Someone come here."

"Yes." A voice responded from outside the door, and Gao Lu entered, bowing low.

"Your Majesty, what are your orders?"

"Draft an edict for me, offering a nationwide reward for the capture of the imperial criminal Qingyi Yaoye. Do not let any suspicious person escape." Sima Rui's fists were clenched tightly. He usually didn't want to argue with this audacious fellow, but now that it involved various matters of right and wrong, it was no wonder he was cold-blooded and ruthless.

"Yes, this old servant obeys the order." Just as Gao Lu stepped out of the palace gate, a somewhat urgent voice suddenly came from behind: "Remember, capture him alive. There must be no harm done to him."

“This old servant knows.”

A slightly weary voice came: "You may leave, I need to rest."

Gao Lu paused, "Does Your Majesty wish to select a concubine tonight?"

After hesitating for a long time, Sima Rui finally spoke up: "No need, you can go down."

Sima Rui rubbed his forehead, which ached so much it felt like it was about to split open. He had come back drunk that day and hadn't had a chance to rest. After leaving without permission, he had to rush to review and resolve the pile of official documents that had accumulated, so he hadn't had a proper rest until today.

Having finally finished dealing with official business, seeing that comic book stirred up suspicions again. The woman in it seemed vaguely familiar. Her magnanimous, carefree, and arrogant attitude reminded him of Xiao Jin, but her deliberate humility before the powerful or the emperor, and her ability to conceal her brilliance, reminded him of someone else—someone he should have forgotten long ago. Yet, Huan Fei's mention of her, and the unusual nature of that book, brought her back to mind.

The rosy cheeks reflected in the mirror are a sight to behold; who knows when the world will end?

The vast ocean stretches to the horizon, and the land remains unchanged through the ages; the flowing waters of time have carried away all traces of time.

Alas, in this world, who is whose Nirvana?

In the hazy darkness, I seemed to see a beam of light on the horizon. I groped my way toward that light, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. It was so close, yet I couldn't touch it.

That's strange.

I remember sitting alone at my desk copying some calligraphy models, which were the works of Wang Xizhi, the most popular calligrapher at the time. Speaking of him, I wonder if my third brother was having a good time traveling, drinking, and composing poetry with them.

Just as I was engrossed in writing, a figure suddenly burst in. I caught a whiff of a cool gas, and then, my body swayed to the side, and I knew nothing more.

In a blur, I seemed to hear a few people muttering something. I recognized the voices as Qingci and Xiaoquanzi's, and I could also hear Su Da's impatient chatter. It seemed they were saying that they had been suffering from insomnia for the past few days and were too tired. Other methods hadn't worked, so they had to resort to this forced method to put me to sleep, somewhat like the effect of sleeping pills? But then I thought of the kidnapping methods used in modern times.

I really wanted to speak up or protest, but the sound died in my throat.

I felt as if I were in a state between dreaming and waking, not fully awake, yet my mind was filled with many things, even the chaotic world in the dream felt somewhat real. That beam of light, like an angel's halo, was so beautiful.

But it's not mine, because I can't touch it.

In the mirror, in the mirror—the city of crimson beauty is a cause for sorrow.

I don't know when it will happen, until the end of time, until the end of time—

In the empty world, a voice kept echoing, an old voice chanting these words, the sound being blocked from all sides, creating endless echoes. It kept reverberating in my mind.

Night had fallen, and Sima Rui couldn't control his feet, and before he knew it, he had arrived here.

There seemed to be a faint glow in the room, unlike the light of candles. All around was quiet. So quiet that one couldn't bear to disturb the tranquil night.

For some reason, even though there were many rooms here, he was certain that this was where she lived. The most inconspicuous, most secluded corner. The serving eunuchs were nowhere to be seen. And the concubines, who were usually so noisy and seemingly insane, were nowhere to be found either.

Although it was a bit strange, Sima Rui still decided to go inside.

Her sleeping face was serene, her fair neck slightly exposed, her eyelashes fluttering gently in her sleep, her nose pointed, her chin small, her mouth small, her pink lips now slightly pouting—very cute. This was the beautiful sight that greeted Sima Rui when he entered the inner room. It was the first time he had seen her so intently, so closely, and he was momentarily stunned. Her skin was fair with a rosy glow, so translucent that one could almost see the blood beneath. After so long, she seemed even more beautiful. Yet, he had never truly looked at her before.

Except for that night, when she stood on the stage and danced seductively, captivating every pair of eyes in the audience, I don't know why, but in an instant, I was filled with rage, as if something that belonged to me had been snatched away by someone else. The feeling of having something stolen from me was excruciating.

So, like a madman, he forced himself on her. Even now, I still remember her aloof expression that day, her stumbling figure as she left, and her cold, indifferent words.

Thinking about those things inevitably brings a pang of pain to my heart.