Четвертый кампус

Глава 19

I shivered, looked up at the starry sky, and was overwhelmed with thoughts:

The night was dark, the moon was cold, and the wind was desolate. I was tied to a wooden stake.

He was sent as an envoy to the Xiongnu but never returned; he was stranded in a foreign land, heartbroken in vain.

The campfire crackled in the distance, while Su Wu slept soundly beside him.

He went to the Han and Tang dynasties to save a female ghost, but now he has ended up like this.

---janeadam

Reply [57]: If a person is obsessed with love, he will surely hurt himself. Who can help me return to my hometown?

……555……I miss home so much, I want to go back, I want to give up, but……can I turn back from the path I chose?

Just as tears were about to fall, I suddenly felt the rope binding me loosen. Had someone come to rescue me? Haha, I knew I'd be lucky. "Thank you!" I turned to thank him, but it was that porn guy.

No way, I thought someone was coming to help me escape this misery.

The burly man carried me like a chick into the most luxurious tent. Was he going to interrogate me at night?

He threw me to the ground, turned around, and walked out of the tent. "Hey! How rude of you!" I was hurt badly from the fall. "Couldn't you handle me gently? I'm fragile, you know." (Aside: He must be heartbroken a lot because of girls.)

I looked up and wow! What a huge bed! Then I looked at the bed... wow! What an old woman! It was the female leader, already past her prime, still wearing a sexy thin silk nightgown, and what was even more disgusting was that she was posed like a mermaid on the bed.

The old woman leader gave me a seductive smile (at least she thought it was seductive), and my stomach involuntarily clenched. That smile was disgusting! Even the kindest person would be tempted to kill upon seeing it.

Then she extended her right hand and made a "COME ON" gesture.

Pshaw! I gave her the middle finger in return, since she wouldn't understand anyway. To my surprise, she smiled knowingly (at least she thought so). Does giving the middle finger have some other meaning among them?

She slowly got out of bed. Actually, her figure was not bad, but her skin was too wrinkled. If it were straightened, it could probably circle the equator.

(Aside: Is it really that exaggerated? A heifer taking a sauna... That's really awesome!)

As she walked, she shook off the thin veil covering her body. She came to my side, first staring at me as she circled the room...

Am I, a grown man, supposed to just give in like this? The problem is, this woman in front of me is too old, although she must be very experienced... 555... But I still prefer beautiful women.

The female leader slowly reached out her greedy hand towards me, trying to tear off my clothes... No! At least take a shower first, being all sloppy will affect the pleasure.

Resist? Do you want me to die sooner? To be honest, I don't even have the confidence to defeat this fierce woman. These women of the grasslands are incredibly tough. Reluctantly, she ripped off my clothes piece by piece like peeling a dumpling. I was filled with grief and powerless to resist. She picked me up (embarrassingly) and threw me heavily onto the soft bed made of countless thick sheepskin pads. My eyes stared blankly at the tent ceiling, bracing myself for this she-wolf's merciless tearing… Now, the only thing I could do was pray… (Aside: Pray for what? Hope God will forgive you for selling your body to save your life? Answer: No. I'm praying that she doesn't have a sexually transmitted disease.)

As her body slowly pressed against mine, a single, glistening tear rolled down my cheek... (Aside: Stop pretending to be innocent, it's just because she's too ugly.)

"Ouch!" The female leader's body slammed heavily onto me, almost breaking my bones. Strange, why isn't she moving anymore?

Auntie? What's this? It's wet, dripping onto me. I touched it, looked at it, and oh my god! Blood!! I lifted her body up, and there was a knife stuck in her back!

Xiao Yuan stood in front of me dressed in all black, looking at my embarrassed expression with a smug smile.

She must have arrived a long time ago, waiting until now to make her move. This little devil, I both love and hate her.

"Xiaoyuan!" I excitedly whispered her name and buried my face in her arms. "...555... With you here, I feel so safe..." Haha, I finally got to eat the most delicious and expensive tofu in the world for me!

"Bang!" A dark circle appeared over my left eye.

"rogue!"

"Xiao Yuan, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the palace?"

"Do you think I want to save a scumbag like you? If it weren't for the fact that the emperor highly values you and even entrusted you with the important task of being an envoy to the Xiongnu, you would definitely be deeply favored in the future if you could return safely, which would be of great help to our control of the Han Dynasty."

"...55...Don't you have even the slightest selfish motive in trying to save me?"

"For you? What a joke!"

"But I'm still so touched. However, how did Emperor Wu allow you to leave the palace?"

"Who am I!" Xiao Yuan said smugly. "I've completely bewitched the emperor. I just said I missed my mother, and he immediately granted me a month to visit her."

"Do you know how uncomfortable I felt when that old witch was on top of me just now? I could only imagine her as you..."

"Go to hell! How dare you insult me!" She pulled out the knife from the female leader's back and pointed it at me.

"No way, just kidding, you have absolutely no sense of humor..."

"Oh chou oh chou!" The giant man from the pornographic film suddenly rushed in and shouted when he saw the scene before him.

---janeadam

Reply [58]: Chapter Twenty-Nine: The "Female Ghost" Takes Drugs!

(Disclaimer: This article is entirely fabricated. The time, personality, and relationships of the characters are completely contrary to historical fact. This is hereby noted to avoid confusion and misleading those who are not familiar with history.)

"Xiao Yuan!" I said bravely, "This guy is yours to deal with. I'll keep watch outside the door for you."

The giant man picked up a large sledgehammer and swung it at Xiao Yuan, who nimbly dodged it. Impressive skills, even better than Michelle Yeoh!

But that's not right. I was hiding behind Xiaoyuan. She moved away, and I was just like a young woman taking a bath, completely exposed.

"Oh no!" I don't want to be a meat pie, it's too late, what a terrifying sledgehammer, it will hurt a lot if I get hit, and I'll die a horrible death, I'm doomed... I closed my eyes in despair.

The sledgehammer stopped very close to my pointed nose. (Aside: Is your nose very pointed? Answer: Don't you know I have a nickname, Pinocchio? Aside: Damn! A cow having an abortion... a real bully (poker)!)

What? I opened my eyes. It turned out that Xiao Yuan had slashed the giant's shoulder with her sword when she dodged. The giant looked at his wound, touched the red blood flowing out, then looked at the bloodstains on his hand and let out a woman's scream: "Ah~~~~~" He immediately fainted.

No way? It turns out it was all show and no substance... Haha, that's hilarious.

"Oh chu oh chu..." Hearing the commotion, a dozen or so burly men came running. Without saying a word, Xiao Yuan picked me up and ran outside. She was incredibly strong; no wonder she had practiced martial arts. And she didn't have body odor.

"Xiao Yuan... I'm not dressed yet..." What would it look like if a woman were carrying a naked man across a desolate grassland? If it were anyone else, I would definitely laugh out loud, but that man is me... 555... Being picked up and thrown to the ground by a man, picked up and thrown onto the bed by a woman, and carried across the grassland by another woman, I've really embarrassed myself tonight.

Reaching the wooden stake, I shouted, "Wait! Save Su Wu!" Xiao Yuan put me down, and I rushed to Su Wu, quickly untying his ropes. "My beauty... let me hug you... mmm~~" Damn it! Falling asleep while tied up is impressive enough, but to still have a wet dream, he's definitely not an ordinary person!

"Hey!" I patted his face. "Run!"

"Huh? Sima Xiangru is back?" Su Wu suddenly woke up with a start. This guy, so he was having an affair with Sima Xiangru's wife?

"Oh! It's Brother Dongfang! Why are you completely naked? Are you going to participate in a demonstration against using animal fur to make coats?"

...

Xiaoyuan pulled three horses out of the stable. She mounted a large chestnut horse and shouted to me, "Quick!"

"Xiao Yuan, you're so mean!" I complained.

"What's wrong?" she asked, puzzled.

"You picked the best-looking one!" I muttered.

Xiao Yuan almost fell off her horse: "There's no time! How about you ride this one!" She generously jumped down and mounted the brown horse next to her, "Let's go."

---janeadam

Reply [59]: I still haven't done anything.

"What's wrong now?"

"Xiao Yuan... I... can't ride a horse..."

Xiaoyuan swayed on the horse for a moment, but quickly regained her balance. "You're so useless!" she exclaimed, pulling me onto her horse. I hugged her slender waist tightly—it was so bouncy! Haha…

"I can't ride a horse either!!" Su Wu deliberately fell off his horse and tried to climb onto Xiao Yuan's horse.

I gracefully extended my left leg, accompanied by a shout of "Get out!", which sent him sprawling onto the grass, where he swam in pain.

The Wild Bird Clan seemed to be gradually leaving us behind. I clung tightly to Xiaoyuan's back, letting the wind whistle past my ears, intoxicated by the wonderful feeling. Xiaoyuan's fragrance seemed to seep directly into my mind and heart through my hairy nasal cavity. Like a faint static electricity, it coursed through my body, making me feel tingly and numb. This feeling was so comfortable and pleasant. I really wanted to stay close to her like this forever, and I really wanted the horse to run forever, past the moon, past the sun, past the Milky Way... just like our love, which has transcended the limitations of time and space, and even the end of life, and is still persisting... Although my body is so tired and exhausted, my heart is so sweet and happy... But then, a strange wind sound shattered my beautiful fantasy. An arrow flew past my ear!

That was close! I breathed a sigh of relief, but then I suddenly realized that the arrow had actually hit Xiaoyuan's shoulder blade. Xiaoyuan screamed and fell off her horse, and because I was holding her waist, I fell down with her.

Su Wu pulled his horse back and rushed over.

Xiao Yuan's face turned pale and her lips turned purple... I stood there dumbfounded, completely helpless!

Her body was trembling uncontrollably. I held her helplessly, not knowing what to do. I was such a useless man.

“It’s a poisoned arrow!” Su Wu said solemnly.

"You're amazing! How did you figure that out?" I asked admiringly.

"It's just that I could tell from the shell..."

"How did you figure that out? Teach me!"

"Look for yourself!" Su Wu said impatiently.

"A poisoned arrow?" I looked at the arrow and saw that it had the character for "poison" engraved on it. Damn! It was that simple.

Regardless of her wishes, I tore open her clothes at the shoulder, revealing a blackened arrow wound on her smooth, white shoulder. I gently touched the arrow shaft with my finger: "Oh dear... Su Wu, you should pull it out..."

Su Wu suddenly pulled out the arrow, and Xiao Yuan let out a soft "Oh~~".

A moment of silence. "Su Wu, what are you thinking about?" "I'm thinking, how about I put the arrow back in, and then pull it out again?"

"Wow, wow...you also think her moans were very alluring?"

Xiao Yuan glared at me fiercely, oh my god, that terrifying look I hadn't seen in a long time. I immediately changed my tune and said, "Just kidding... to ease your pain. What? Not funny? Then I won't say it..." I was afraid that she would do something to me after she recovered, so I should leave myself a way out, and I should pave a wide way out.

There was another moment of silence. Su Wu and I looked at each other, as if asking who would use their mouth to suck out the poison and heal her wounds.

I finally spoke first: "Su Wu, don't say I didn't give you a chance to kiss a beautiful woman's shoulder..."

"I won't do it, it's life-threatening..."

...

Just as we were arguing, Xiaoyuan suddenly screamed in pain and spat out a mouthful of blood.

It was too late. I instinctively rushed over. So what if I die? Who told me to love her so much? The woman I love is truly blessed!

"Do you have a straw?" Su Wu shook his head. I gave up my last hope and pouted at Xiao Yuan's fragrant shoulder...

Xiao Yuan's eyes were strange; it was hard to tell whether she was grateful or resentful, or perhaps both.

"How is it?" Su Wu asked, swallowing hard.

"It's quite bitter..." I spat out the last mouthful of poison.

"That's not what I'm asking about. I'm asking about the smell of her shoulders!"