Четвертый кампус - Глава 21
Nobody paid any attention to me, which makes sense when you think about it. Who would listen to a man who's only wearing his underwear?
The Xiongnu soldiers naturally parted to make way, and at the end of the path came a tall, pure black horse, upon which sat a petite and graceful young girl. The girl looked very young, no more than sixteen or seventeen—not in terms of bust size, but in her youthful age! That horse must be having a blast right now, being held between the beautiful woman's jade-like legs. I wish I could be that horse! ((((*^o^*))))
"Who claims to be an envoy of the Great Han?" She can actually speak Chinese! Great, finally found a translator. Her voice is so nice, she's good-looking, and her Mandarin is so standard. She's definitely qualified to be an underwear anchor.
"I!"
The girl glanced at me, then burst into laughter, revealing teeth even whiter and more perfectly aligned than those of a toothpaste commercial model, and two unfathomably deep dimples—countless men must have fallen head over heels for them. Of course, before meeting Xiaoyuan, I would definitely have been smitten with her too, but not now! At least not in front of Xiaoyuan…
I'm a very loyal man! (Aside: A man who can't even lift a brick? Answer: How did you know?...)
555, I need to build muscle!
"Hey beautiful, what are you laughing at? Haven't you ever seen such well-proportioned muscles before?" I thought to myself.
After the girl finished laughing, she spoke a string of incomprehensible Xiongnu words to her attendant. The attendant nodded, then took out a Xiongnu garment, jumped off his horse, and handed it to me.
I was a little surprised and didn't answer it.
"Put them on. There are a lot of insects on the grassland, and they will bite you and make you feel very uncomfortable."
She was giving me clothes to wear! I'm so touched! What a gentle and considerate woman. Compared to Xiao Yuan who gave me apple peels earlier, it's like night and day! Although I'm not as good at putting on clothes as I am at taking them off, I quickly jumped into the clothes and was dressed in no time!
"How is it?" I asked Xiaoyuan. Strange! Why did I ask her first?
"It's nothing special!" Xiao Yuan said dismissively.
"No, it's very beautiful!" the girl exclaimed.
"Really?" I asked smugly. "What did you just say? I didn't hear you. The wind was too strong, and it all blew away."
"I meant you look beautiful in it! Hehe..."
Hehe! Actually, I heard it clearly the first time, I just wanted to hear it again. It's rare for someone to praise me. I glanced at Xiaoyuan unintentionally; she was secretly watching me, but as soon as she saw me and realized she was looking at me, she continued to pretend to be indifferent. Honestly, she clearly thinks I'm amazing, so why pretend to be so cold? I'd be willing to perform a striptease for you, let alone wear Hun clothing!
"It's really quite good! Brother Dongfang has a great figure!" Su Wu praised as well. Hehe, it seems he really is good; even men say so. Haha! I truly am a beauty in ancient costume! (Aside: Hey! "Beauty" refers to a woman, right?)
"Since you claim to be envoys from the Han Dynasty, what proof do you have?" Clearly, she didn't quite believe that the three of us covered in dust could be envoys from the mighty Han Dynasty.
"To tell you the truth, I am Su Wu, a general. I was sent to your country by the Emperor of Han. On the way, I encountered the Wild Bird Tribe. I killed the female leader of the Wild Bird Tribe before I escaped..." Su Wu spoke eloquently, as if he had done it all himself. While others were risking their lives, you were having a lewd dream!
"Oh? You killed Jiyu?" The girl looked incredulous. "We've been searching for them on the grasslands for a long time, but we can't find them. Where is the Wild Bird Clan?"
I pointed in the direction they had come from...
"Mo Tihao!"
"exist!"
"Take three thousand men and go!"
"Yes, Princess!"
It seems there are quite a few people among the Xiongnu who understand Chinese! (Aside: You deliberately made them know it for the reader's convenience, right? Answer: Impressive, you can even tell that. No wonder you're the founder of the Heifer series!)
So how could a burly Chanyu (ruler of the Xiongnu) have such a delicate and beautiful daughter? Human evolution is truly astounding. (Aside: What's so strange about that? If the Chanyu takes a beautiful concubine, isn't there a 50% chance of having a beautiful daughter?)
Several hours later, Mo Tihao returned with his men, looking travel-worn, with the head of that lecherous woman tucked into his belt.
He dismounted and knelt before the Xiongnu princess: "Your Highness, Jiyu is indeed dead. I have brought back her head and wiped out the remaining Wild Bird tribe!"
---janeadam
Reply [63]: "Hahaha..." The Xiongnu princess suddenly laughed loudly, "I never thought that after decades of hard pursuit, the Wild Bird Clan would finally be wiped out today!" The princess turned to look at me with her gentle eyes: "What did you say your name was?"
"Dongfang Shuo!" What? Want to get to know me? I'll tell you since you're a beautiful woman.
"I'm very curious, how did you manage to kill this fierce woman? She was no ordinary person..."
Okay! I'll just ramble on and on for now. "It was all thanks to my seduction of that she-wolf. You know, people are most vulnerable in those situations, and then we...sigh..." I sighed, wiping away a tear. "And I paid a heavy price for it..." Then I secretly glanced at Xiaoyuan. Thankfully, she didn't seem to have any intention of exposing me. Thank you!
Later, Su Wu took out Emperor Wu's letter from his bosom and handed it to the Xiongnu princess. After reading it, the princess said, "Since you are an envoy of the Great Han and have eliminated the Wild Bird Tribe, a thorn in our side, we should treat you with courtesy. Please come back with us."
Great! Treating me with courtesy? I'm sure I'll get a feast! Those darn apple peels are giving me constipation...
5555.
I was just about to climb onto Xiaoyuan's horse to once again admire the beauty of her strong, taut waist when the princess called me back.
"What? Young Master Dongfang can't ride a horse? Someone, bring me my four-horse carriage. I want to ride with Young Master Dongfang and have a private chat."
Want to take a carriage? Okay, I'll let Xiaoyuan's slender waist go for now. There's plenty of time. When I finally get to you, I'll get my revenge on your slender waist, round hips, and soft breasts! Hahahaha~~~ Cough...cough...oh no, I got too cocky and choked on my own saliva.
“Young Master Dongfang…” The princess half-lifted the carriage curtain and beckoned to me with a charming gesture, “Quick! Let’s have a private chat inside for a little while.”
Oh? In private? Could it be... she wants to... Oh dear, when a romantic encounter comes along, it's like swallowing a pound of croton seeds, the stomach just keeps gushing out uncontrollably... It's just that the last few words didn't quite please me, "chat for a little while," that's so disrespectful, am I that bad? It's "chat" for most of the day, most of the day!
The moment I stepped into the carriage, I seemed to catch a glimpse of a shadow passing over Xiaoyuan's face as she rode on horseback. Could it be that she was starting to care about me a little?
---janeadam
Reply [64]: Chapter Thirty-Two: The Female Ghost is Drunk!
I climbed into the carriage... Wow! It was truly a hidden paradise inside, with fine wine and delicacies, whips and candles—everything imaginable...
My voice and the princess's voice could be heard coming from inside the carriage.
"I can't take it anymore, I can't hold back..."
"Hang in there a little longer..."
"Oh no, I really can't hold back anymore..."
"Useless, fine... inside or outside?"
"Outside, of course!"
I rushed off the carriage and ran far away, my back to the crowd, to relieve myself. It's all my fault for being so useless. I played rock-paper-scissors with the Xiongnu princess in the carriage, and the loser had to drink a penalty shot... 555... The princess only drank one cup, but I've already drunk ten. My stomach is so bloated... Although there's a toilet in the luxurious carriage, I'm too embarrassed to use it.
"Princess Feihua is back!" As soon as we arrived at the Xiongnu headquarters, we heard someone shouting. It seems that the Xiongnu also used Chinese as an official language.
"Hahahaha..." Such a loud laugh! A burly man emerged from the tent, matching the laughter perfectly. He had a large beard, large, round eyes, and was dressed in luxurious clothes. Could he be the Spittoon Master? (Aside: The Chanyu, right? Answer: I like calling him that.)
"Father!" Princess Feihua rushed over.
He hugged the spittoon tightly and said, "My beautiful, adorable daughter is back! Come here, let Daddy give her a kiss!"
"No!" Fei Hua mischievously turned her head away. "Unless you shave your beard... and stop drinking sheep's blood!"
"Huh?" The spittoon-wielding man put down his daughter, because he saw us. "Han Chinese?"
“They are envoys sent by the Han Dynasty emperor,” Fei Hua explained.
"A Han envoy?" The spittoon's eyes revealed a disdainful glint.
That's so rude! And you're even talking about chicken shit! How can you use abbreviations in diplomatic language?
“They killed the Wild Bird Clan’s Jiyu clan.”
"What? Don't joke with your dad. You know I have a history of heart disease."
Fei Hua had her subordinate hand over Ji Yu's head. Tan Yu snatched the head and examined it closely, then exclaimed excitedly, "It really is her! Hahahaha..."
How terrifying! They carried a human head with the same calm expression as if it were a vegetable basket, and even leaned in to examine it closely. They really are an uncivilized and barbaric people.
"As long as you kill Ji Yu, you'll be a friend of my clan! Men, prepare wine and food! I'm going to throw a grand feast for my honored guests! Hahahaha..."
A spittoon slapped me on the shoulder, and I immediately felt myself sink several centimeters. "Young man, I like you!"
You're so small! If I took out some parts of your body, you'd be scared to death!
The banquet was held in a huge tent, the largest I'd ever seen before—large enough to play basketball in. The tent was filled with whole animal hides and wolf heads, creating an atmosphere so menacing that no one dared to utter a sound.
The spittoon master changed into a majestic cloak and coat. He tossed the coat back and then sat on the wolf-skin throne at the top. Cool!
Who is seated here?
Su Wu, Xiao Yuan, and I rose and bowed. I said, "I am Dongfang Shuo, an envoy of the Great Han Dynasty, and they are my attendants!"
Su Wu and Xiao Yuan immediately glared at me. I don't care about you guys, I'll show off first, haha!
"Dongfang Shuo? What a nice name!" The spittoon grabbed a leg of lamb and casually tossed it over. Luckily, I'm pretty good at baseball, so I caught it easily.
"Eat it all, or you're disrespecting me!"
Haha! The lamb leg smells so good, I started gnawing on it...
*Hiccup*, I licked my lips, still wanting more. Who knew drinking and eating heartily could be so enjoyable! ...
555... I'm broke, so I can only afford very thin shreds of meat. (Aside: Very thin shreds of meat? How thin?)
A: It dissolved before I even had a chance to swallow it. (Aside: So fine? Then your mouthwash after eating was basically a pot of meat soup!)
"Good appetite, young man! I love straightforward people!" This time, the spittoon-wielding giant picked up a beef leg and leisurely tossed it towards me.
"Eat it all, or you're disrespecting me!"
Oh my god... 5555... I could barely swallow half of what I ate, I felt like throwing up. Binge eating is bad for your health, and eating too much meat can cause allergies.
"This young man is so handsome, he's even prettier than a woman!" The spittoon shifted its focus to Xiao Yuan.
"Oh... he's my attendant, he's usually not very talkative," I said, clutching my stomach.
"Okay! I like people who don't talk nonsense! Come on..."
---janeadam
Reply [65]: "Oh no! Lord Shanyu, he doesn't like to eat meat." I quickly came to Xiaoyuan's rescue. I didn't expect that I was such a considerate person. I was even surprised myself.
"Hmm? Alright then, handsome young man, I'll toast you!" The spittoon held up the emptied head of the Yu family, filled it with wine, and drank it all in one gulp... Oh my god, how terrifying!
Xiao Yuan had no choice but to bite the bullet and drink the wine in her glass.
She half-covered her face, her expression one of feigned embarrassment. Her delicate brows furrowed slightly, and she abruptly closed her eyes, gulping down the wine into her beautiful lips. Her jade-like neck heaved rhythmically, a sight that stirred the imagination... "Cough...cough..."
She looks so cute when she drinks; I knew I didn't fall for the wrong person.
"Great! That's refreshing! Hahaha, another cup, please!" It turns out that the spittoon belonged to an old drunkard!
And so, Xiaoyuan drank four large cups. "Are you alright?" I asked worriedly.