So the second night went on as usual.
On the third night, Xuezhi simply smiled and moved back a little in the bed, making room for Shangguan Tou. Shangguan Tou still held her as they slept, his hand on her stomach to keep her warm. When she got up again, her arm was completely numb.
By the fourth day, Xuezhi's health had improved considerably. When Shangguan Tou returned, he saw her walking on the ground without shoes and her clothes were loose and not properly dressed, so he immediately urged her to go to bed.
As evening fell, Xuezhi shrank further inside and smiled:
"Sister Zhaojun, I have recovered and will be going back in a few days."
He sneezed as soon as he finished speaking.
"Look, you said you'd recovered." Shangguan Tou said, subconsciously sitting on the edge of the bed and unbuttoning his clothes. "It's so cold outside. When are you going into seclusion?"
"After the Weapon Ranking Tournament," Xuezhi said, looking at his snow-white undergarments, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He hadn't taken his clothes off for the past few days.
"So, you can participate in the Weapon Ranking Tournament?"
"Um."
"That's good." Shangguan Tou got into bed and said somewhat awkwardly, "I was so silly, I actually took off all my clothes." Then he sat up to put his clothes back on.
Xuezhi also sat up and waved her hands repeatedly:
"It's okay, it's okay. I don't mind."
Shangguan Tou glanced back at her, then suddenly rested his chin on his hand, looking at her with amusement:
"There's something I find strange." Seeing her curious expression, she continued, "Other girls wear bellybands underneath, so why is our Zhi'er dressed like a boy?"
Xuezhi continued to smile with her eyes narrowed, nodding vigorously. After a while, she suddenly stopped smiling, a blush quickly creeping up her cheeks.
"Hey, is that how a brother talks to his sister?!"
"What an easily angered girl." Shangguan Tou wore his ever-present smile as he hooked Xuezhi's chin with his finger. "Have you ever seen a younger sister who, after growing into a young woman, still sleeps with her older brother?"
"Seventeen isn't a young woman!"
"Everything that should be there is there."
Seeing that Xuezhi was on the verge of a complete outburst, Shangguan Tou pressed his hand to her mouth and made a "shh" gesture:
"Don't worry, nobody in the valley knows we're sleeping together. So whatever we do, nobody will know."
Xuezhi grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. Shangguan Tou caught the pillow and smiled slightly:
“Brother Tou cherishes you, that’s why he’s so good to you. If he were as bad as other men, Zhi’er would probably have cried herself to death long ago.”
Xuezhi was furious, and after holding it in for a long time, she said aggrievedly, "I'm leaving in two days."
"I know." Shangguan Tou was silent for a moment. "Never mind, let's not say any more. Let's go to sleep."
"Wait, I have something to ask you."
"Um?"
"What was your purpose in doing that at Shaolin Temple?"
Shangguan Tou gave a mischievous look and glanced away:
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"It's that matter, the thing you did at the Weapon Ranking Conference."
A lot happened during those days when the weapons rankings were being discussed. Which one is Zhi'er referring to?
Xuezhi, of course, couldn't describe it. She could only sit dejectedly on the bed, glaring fiercely at Shangguan Tou. Shangguan Tou remained unmoved, his smile unchanged. Since Xuezhi wanted to remind him, that incident naturally replayed uncontrollably in her mind again. Before long, her cheeks flushed even more. Her hair was down, making her face even more delicate, and she appeared somewhat mature. Perhaps it was the light from the fireplace, but her pupils seemed bright and slightly moist.
Shangguan Tou's heart stirred, and he took her hand. He leaned forward slightly and kissed her lips. Then he pulled back, half-closing his eyes, somewhat avoiding her gaze.
"Zhi'er... are you talking about this?"
Xuezhi panicked for a moment, lowered her head, and her dark bangs covered her eyes.
Shangguan Tou felt some regret. But what's done is done, and there's no going back.
It was his imagination—he felt that Xuezhi would ask that question, perhaps, he thought, perhaps she was interested in him.
"Never mind, let's go to sleep."
Before he could even lie down, Xuezhi wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his lips.
Her kiss was like her.
Young, inexperienced, yet incredibly passionate. Like a flame in a fireplace, capable of burning everything even in the depths of winter: the cold air, the dry wood, the steam in the kettle… and Shangguan Tou’s last shred of reason.
The candle was extinguished in the frantic thud of the palm.
The passion that had been suppressed for too long turned into a fire in the darkness, spreading endlessly.
Xuezhi never imagined that something she once considered sordid would actually happen between her and Shangguan Tou.
In a moment of extreme insecurity, she wrapped her arms around his neck, a mixture of anticipation and fear in her eyes. Shangguan Tou, however, gazed deeply into her eyes, his gaze gentle yet his actions unusually resolute.
It wasn't as dirty as she described, nor as happy as Shangguan Tou spoke of. When she became one with Shangguan Tou, she didn't know why, but tears streamed down her face.
Xuezhi often thinks back to that night, but each time she does, her feelings are different.
Ten years later, she was smiling; five years later, she was in pain; two years later, she was angry.
The next day, she was filled with despair.
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Although she had indeed felt pleasure the night before, after waking up and regaining her senses, Xuezhi looked at the two bodies embracing and the bloodstains on the bed. The first thing that came to her mind was the disgusting scene she had seen in the Immortal Mountain Yingzhou.
It seems that this happened because of her again.
For seventeen years, she had never felt so down.
No matter what Shangguan Tou said to her, she answered listlessly and weakly. Shangguan Tou rubbed his hair, got up, drank water, turned around and smiled, then returned to her side. In her eyes, everything he did was annoying.
Shangguan Tou's emotions also seemed quite unstable. Everything the two said sounded very strange.
Hugs, kisses, slips of the tongue, ambiguous glances… all can be covered up with numerous excuses. But once something like this happens, the relationship can never go back to the way it was.
Xuezhi wrapped herself in her clothes, hugged her legs, and felt her heart sink to the bottom.
From now on, the name "Chong Xuezhi" will likely become the last name on his list of conquered women.
She was no longer cold, but her hands and feet were still icy.
Shangguan Tou sat down beside her and said softly:
"Zhi'er".
Xuezhi ignored him.
"I don't know what you're thinking right now." Shangguan Tou turned her around to face him. "Was last night... just a moment of impulse?"
Xuezhi looked at him, but still didn't say anything.
“Alright, I’ve come up with an idea.” Shangguan Tou pondered for a while longer. “If it’s convenient for you, I can talk to Uncle Lin and ask him to let you stay in the valley for the time being. I’ll teach you martial arts first, and once you’ve thought it through, I…”
Xuezhi couldn't listen any longer and quickly replied:
"I regret it very much."
"What?"
She probably already knew what he was trying to say.
He was gentle, considerate, and understanding of her perspective. After all, she was his ex-girlfriend, and even with this "accident," she should be allowed to make the decision. She could leave once she had thought it through.
"I said, I regret it very much. I acted impulsively yesterday," Xuezhi said hurriedly. "I want to go back now. Please send me out of the valley."
“Zhi’er, if you’re in a bad mood, that can be eased over time. But this issue is important, and you have to face it.”
Xuezhi looked up, her nose feeling a little sore.
"I've already told you I regret it, what do you want from me?"
Shangguan Tou looked at her in disbelief:
"You...don't like me at all?"
"I don't like it!" Xuezhi's eyes welled up with tears. "You told me to leave the valley, I don't want to see you!"
Shangguan Tou clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white.
"You should rest for a few days, after all, yesterday—"
"Shut up!" Xuezhi wiped away her tears and shoved him violently off the bed. "I'm leaving now! Otherwise, when I get out, I'll tell Second Uncle and have him kill you!"
Shangguan Tou said in a cold voice:
"Okay, you decide."
A cold wind blows for miles, and winter snow flutters.
Beside the frozen Tianxing River, large swathes of withered Bauhinia trees form a desolate scene.
Xuezhi and Shangguan Tou, one in red and one in white, walked briskly through the withered branches, one in front of the other.
At each corner, Shangguan Tou would give a hint from behind, saying nothing more. Xuezhi walked ahead, her tears drying on her cheeks, a pain like a knife scraping her bone.
They finally stopped at the exit of Moonrise Valley.
There was a small town not far ahead, with smoke rising from chimneys and few people around.
“This is enough.” Xuezhi, with her back to Shangguan Tou, lowered her voice. “My horse is in the town ahead.”
"I'll take you there."
"Need not."
Shangguan Tou walked over, grabbed her hand, and pulled her forward: "Put personal feelings aside, safety is the most important thing. I'll take you there."
Xuezhi felt even more upset when she saw him holding her hand.
It felt like a century had passed from the exit of Moon Valley to the town.
Finally, they found the horse, and Xuezhi quickly mounted it, put on the hood of her cloak, and rode forward for a while.
Shangguan Tou quickly caught up and grabbed the reins.