Lan Yin Bi Yue

Chapitre 31

Leaning against the tub wall, I slowly slid into the water. The hot water covered my mouth and nose. I didn't want to hear or see anything, but my ears were still ringing. I vaguely heard someone say to me very close, "Lin Suyang, I love you."

Lin Suyang, I love you. She shook her head violently, covered her ears with her hands, and tears streamed from her closed eyes, merging with the water surrounding her body. Si Junxing, where are you…

Qin Yu covered Lin Suyang with the blanket, then took off his clothes and lay down on the bed. When he got close to her, he noticed she was cold all over. Qin Yu turned to her and placed her hands on his chest. "Are you cold? Should I get another blanket?"

Lin Suyang moved slightly, then grasped Qin Yu's hand and said, "It's okay, it'll warm up in a bit. Don't worry."

"...Yu'er".

"What's wrong?" Qin Yu was surprised by her unusual behavior today.

"I...I really want to leave here...leave, go far away, and never come back."

“Alright,” Qin Yu moved closer to her, “I’ll get my brother to agree to your resignation, and then we’ll leave Yundu, go far away, and find a beautiful place to live in seclusion, okay?”

"Okay." Lin Suyang smiled softly.

Qin Hao hadn't left Mingchen Palace all day. An Zhen had come several times to invite him to dinner, but he had turned her away each time. He kept himself locked in his bedchamber, refusing to see anyone. Her scent still lingered on the bed, but the room was empty. He wondered how much she must hate him. Last night's intimacy had been his joy, her pain. He could still feel the heat of her tears dripping onto his neck, and hear her cry of "No..."

He didn't know when she left, only that when he woke up it was already dark, the pillow and blankets were disheveled, and the scarlet was glaringly bright. Lying in bed, he stared at the still, bright yellow dragon-draped bed curtains. There was no wind, but the tassels swayed gently, burning his eyes and aching his liver. The wounds all over his body were not self-inflicted, but placed there by the person in his heart.

Good, she's finally his. But why does my chest still feel so heavy and painful? So heavy that I feel like I've lost my soul, so painful that I've forgotten how to breathe.

Volume Three, Heartbreak, Chapter Seventy-Three: Things Have Changed (Part Two)

Grand Tutor Lin fell ill, and Emperor Hong granted her leave, exempting her from attending even the late emperor's sacrificial ceremony. The court officials couldn't help but elevate Lin Suyang's status even further. During the late emperor's sacrificial ceremony, all officials, regardless of rank, were required to accompany the emperor to the Qin ancestral temple. Lin Suyang's privilege of receiving such treatment demonstrated the Lin family's extraordinary favor.

The nearly eight-day sacrificial ceremony concluded with a grand and elaborate display. Less than two days after returning from the mountain, the Imperial Guards found the missing ten million taels of silver from the national treasury in an abandoned, dilapidated temple on the outskirts of Yundu. After counting, not a single coin was found. The commander of the Imperial Guards reported this to Emperor Hong, who, citing the continued theft, released the Minister of Revenue and the commander of the Imperial City Guards, who had been imprisoned for over half a month. However, both were still severely punished with seventy strokes of the cane for dereliction of duty. Yet, Emperor Hong made no mention of the thieves who had stolen from the national treasury, and even recalled the men originally sent to investigate.

Although the scandal of the stolen national treasury was brought to an end with a few words from Emperor Hong, all the ministers were astonished by Emperor Hong's plan. Their emperor would suddenly change his mind and let Prince Yin go? Lin Cheng, the Minister of Rites, saw all of this. When he heard Emperor Hong say, "This case is closed, my dear ministers, you need not worry," a profound smile appeared on his lips.

"It's been over a year since I last drank together with my Ninth Imperial Uncle, hasn't it?" Qin Hao picked up his wine cup and swirled it in the air.

Qin Ke looked at the enigmatic emperor opposite him and replied with a faint smile, "Yes. It's been a year."

"I have been working diligently and conscientiously in governing the country this year, but I wonder if Ninth Imperial Uncle considers me a good emperor?" Qin Hao glanced at him, but the smile did not reach his eyes.

These past few days, Qin Ke, as the Prince of the Northwest, has been allowed to attend court and listen to government affairs. How could he not see through the intentions of his nephew, who is the same age as him?

"His Majesty understands the people's sentiments and has made effective reforms to the official system. This year, the Great Central Plains enjoyed favorable weather and peace. Such an emperor is a good emperor."

"Is that so? But I still feel that my achievements are far inferior to those of my Imperial Uncle." Qin Hao sighed and tilted his head back to drink the wine in his cup clean.

"Your Majesty flatters me. The Northwest, which I govern, is part of the Great Central Plains, Your Majesty's empire. The late Emperor entrusted me with this mission, and I will do my utmost to share Your Majesty's burdens." Qin Ke maintained his gentle smile.

Qin Hao turned his head and looked at him seriously, a sharp glint in his eyes. "I hope you can remember what I said today. The late emperor left a will that you guard the northwest. This time, I took into consideration your longing for home and your elder brother Lidao allowed you to return to Yundu. But in the future, I think you will definitely follow the late emperor's last will, right?"

Qin Ke's hand tightened inside his sleeve. His expression remained unchanged as he replied, "Your Majesty's decree will be obeyed without question. I will not fail the trust placed in me by the late Emperor and the current Emperor."

"Excellent," Qin Hao laughed. "This is fine wine from a vassal state. Uncle, would you like to drink a few more cups with me?" He spoke with a cheerful smile. But who knew the hidden dangers within?

When Qin Ke entered the courtyard, he saw Lin Suyang painting in the snow. A light-colored cloak wrapped around her slender body, making her look like a lone goose standing in the white clouds, hesitant and powerless.

"It's so cold outside. You've only just recovered from your illness. Why are you out again?" Qin Ke scolded as he walked over and stood beside her.

The last stroke was completed. Lin Suyang withdrew his brush. He took a few steps back, looked at his painting, shook his head, and sighed, "Still not good enough."

Qin Ke also leaned over for a closer look. Then he chuckled and said, "It's indeed not good. It lacks a certain artistic conception. The brushstrokes are frivolous and not steady enough. It's clear that you were not at peace while painting."

Lin Suyang raised his head and glanced at him: "Yes, I am no match for Your Highness's skills. I humbly admit defeat." He then bowed to Qin Ke. Qin Ke laughed out loud: "You seem to have improved a lot in the few days I've been away. I was constantly worrying about your illness on the mountain, but you were enjoying yourself."

"Thank you for your kindness, Your Highness. My illness came on quickly and went away quickly, so Your Highness need not worry."

"They say recovery from illness is like pulling silk from a cocoon, but you've become an exception." Qin Ke reached out and picked up her painting. The ink was still wet, so he let it dry in the cold wind before folding it up and putting it in his pocket.

"What are you doing?" Lin Suyang asked curiously.

"I'm leaving Yundu, and I may never come back. I should leave something behind as a memento," Qin Ke said calmly.

"Oh." Lin Suyang casually tidied the messy desk, but felt a sense of relief. Qin Hao was finally letting him go. The thought of that name immediately brought back a flood of complex emotions. He had told himself not to think about it, to pretend it never happened, but how could he just forget something like that?

Seeing that she didn't react, Qin Ke asked with a wry smile, "Don't you have anything to say to me?" Even if we're just friends, I'd be happy if you just said something.

After setting down her brush and inkstone, Lin Suyang looked up at him, gazing intently from his hairline to his eyebrows and then to his lips. After a long while, she smiled and said, "I've remembered your face." That smile was breathtakingly beautiful, like snowflakes dancing in the air.

Qin Ke looked back at her for a moment, then smiled and said, "Very good."

This time, Qin Ke left quickly and quietly, seemingly without disturbing anyone. Lin Suyang stood on the high balcony, gazing at the snow-covered ground that had vanished without a trace. She smiled faintly and turned back, inadvertently catching sight of a person sitting in a building of similar height opposite. Wearing a light blue embroidered robe, the luxurious brocade emanating an imposing aura towards them. Upon recognizing the person, Lin Suyang was startled, took a few steps back, and then hurriedly left, gripping the railing.

Qin Yu looked at Lin Suyang, who was sitting in a chair in a daze, still holding a book in her hand, and said with a smile, "Everyone says that Grand Tutor Lin loves to study, but only those who have seen her know how she 'studies' while sitting still."

Lin Suyang snapped out of his reverie and said to her, "This is called balancing work and rest. Daydreaming is an art, you know? By the way, where are you going, all dressed up?"

As Qin Yu had her maid tie her sash, she replied, "Consort Jin is bored in the palace, so she asked someone to invite me to come and chat with her."

"Ha, you and Consort Jin are getting along quite well, aren't you?" Lin Suyang put down her book and leaned back in her chair.

"I originally thought she was as boring as those daughters of officials, but when I went to the palace, I ran into her a few times and chatted with her. I felt like I had found a kindred spirit, and we had similar personalities. She must be bored being alone in the palace. Since I had nothing else to do, I thought it would be good to keep her company."

"Is Li Fu really that kind of person?" Lin Suyang pondered secretly. Since she could share common interests with Qin Yu, this woman couldn't possibly be the kind of person who hides a knife behind a smile and possesses extraordinary cunning. Was she hiding something, or had her father misjudged her? If it was the former, she was undeniably formidable; she would soon be able to wrest power from Consort Qi. Lin Suyang firmly believed that Qin Yu was not a simple person, and her judgment of character wouldn't be wrong. After all, she herself came from that place and understood the unpredictability of human nature. This Consort Jin, if she was hiding anything, was more likely hiding her true nature.

"What are you thinking about now? I doubt you're listening to more than two out of ten sentences I say to you," Qin Yu said with dissatisfaction.

“You’re wronging me,” Lin Suyang said. “I remember every word you said. Didn’t you just say ‘I’m leaving’?”

Qin Yu scoffed, "Always talking nonsense. Enough said, I might be back late from the palace, so you don't need to wait for dinner."

Lin Suyang smiled and said, "Yes, I will obey." After Qin Yu left, she picked up her book again and started reading. She wondered how he was doing on the mountain in this cold weather.

Feeling a bit annoyed, I picked up my pen and started annotating the book. After writing for a long time, the book was covered in black marks, but not a single word was clear. So I simply put it all down, lay on the table, and looked out the window at the darkening sky.

"Young Master." Qiao Sheng hurriedly walked in and called back Lin Suyang, who seemed to be lost in thought.

"What?" She sat up lazily and looked at him.

"Young master, the Emperor has arrived." Just as he finished speaking, a "smash" was heard, and the carved inkstone placed on the corner of the table fell to the ground and broke in two.

Lin Suyang glanced at it and then said, "Go and tell them that I am unwell and may offend the Emperor, so I dare not see him. If the Emperor wants to see the Princess, tell him that she has gone to the palace and will return later."

“But young master…” Qiao Sheng was about to say that the emperor was just walking this way when he saw someone standing at the door of the study. He immediately knelt down and shouted loudly, “Long live the emperor!”

Lin Suyang was so startled that he stood up abruptly, causing the calligraphy brush on the desk in front of him to roll a few times.

Qin Hao glanced indifferently at Qiao Sheng, who was lying on the ground with his head down, and said coldly, "Get up. This is none of your business. Get out of here."

Qiao Sheng secretly glanced at his mistress and saw that she was looking down and not looking at them at all, so he bowed, stood up, and retreated.

Volume Three, Heartbreak, Chapter Seventy-Four: Things Have Changed (Part Two)

Qin Hao paused there for a moment, then walked towards Lin Suyang. Hearing the approaching footsteps, Lin Suyang's heart pounded as if it were about to jump out of her throat. Her eyes were fixed on the ground, her whole body was stiff, and her palms were sweating.

"Are you feeling better?" Qin Hao stopped a few steps away from her and asked softly as he looked at her.

Lin Suyang took a breath and looked up, saying, "Thank you for your concern, Your Majesty. I am fine now." Seeing Qin Hao unconsciously take two more steps forward, she reflexively tried to back up, only to find that she couldn't move. Her body was pressed against the chair, which was already against the wall.

"Do you...hate me?" Qin Hao suddenly became a little flustered, feeling very uncomfortable as he watched her try to avoid him as if she were trying to.

Lin Suyang was stunned for a moment, then sneered mockingly, "How dare I? If the emperor commands me to die, I have no choice but to die. Whatever the emperor wants me to do, I will do. May I ask, Your Majesty, do I have any other option?"

"So, in your eyes, this is the kind of person I am?" Qin Hao lowered his voice, but looked at her expressionlessly.

"Isn't that so?" Lin Suyang's gaze, filled with grief and indignation, was like two sharp swords piercing the person in front of him, causing him to tremble slightly and almost collapse.

Lin Suyang closed her eyes, refusing to look at the face that filled her with sorrow. She sighed deeply, and when she opened her eyes again, only a cold indifference remained. "Your Majesty, I know I am no longer capable of assisting Your Majesty. I beg Your Majesty to grant me permission to resign and retire." Her words were clear and distinct, yet they stirred Qin Hao's mind. Calming down, he uttered three words: "Impossible."

"May I ask Your Majesty, what can I do to get this humble subject released?" Lin Suyang asked in a softened tone.

Qin Hao sneered: "What? Unless you agree to become my empress, I will allow you to resign!"

Lin Suyang looked at him in surprise and disbelief: "Are you forcing me?"

"I'm not forcing you. When I asked you to come back, I promised to let you leave after two years. But I've changed my mind. You now have two choices. One is to become my Empress. The other is to continue being my Grand Tutor. Of course, if you can bear to let Yu'er suffer the scorn of the world, and bear to let the entire Lin family suffer because of you, you can choose to run away or commit suicide. Also," Qin Hao leaned closer and whispered in her ear, "I've also thoroughly investigated Si Junxing's background. Hmph. The Demonic Sect leader who disappeared in the Battle of Mu Cuo has lost his sight and his martial arts? But I can forgive and forget and bring him to Yun Du so you can meet. The condition is that you are still my Grand Tutor."

Lin Suyang, her face deathly pale, slumped into the wooden chair. Her voice trembled as she said, "What did I do wrong? Why are you doing this to me?" You ruined my reputation and now you're threatening me with such cruel conditions. Qin Hao, you're truly ruthless!

Qin Hao shook his head. Ignoring her struggles, he pulled her tightly into his arms. "It's not your fault. It's my fault. I shouldn't have fallen in love with you. Because once I fall in love with you, I lose my mind and can't extricate myself. I can tolerate you having someone else in your heart. I can even tolerate you being together. But I can't tolerate you leaving my sight forever. Don't worry. I won't hurt you. I won't hurt the person you love. I just beg you not to hurt me either." His voice was gentle, like the most seductive cotton candy, yet it felt like countless needles pricking Lin Suyang's body, causing her bitterness, pain, and despair. She would rather sink into a river of weak water than come back to life.

"Why do you always seem to be lost in thought? You've been in the palace for a while now and I haven't seen you say more than a few words. Could it be that you've already missed Grand Tutor Lin after being away from home for so short?" Li Fu teased Qin Yu.

"Of course. This princess is very fond of her husband every day. As for you, since you entered this harem, your brother has only come once. You don't seem to be very resentful. If you're not in a hurry, I'd like to hold my nephew as soon as possible."

"It's not like I'm the only one treated like this. Look at those concubines. Which one of them wasn't only 'favored' once?" Li Fu said nonchalantly. "By the way, I heard you're pregnant. How many months along are you? Why isn't your belly showing?"

Qin Yu's expression changed, but he quickly smiled and said, "How could my pregnancy show after only a month or two? The doctor said I'm too thin and weak, and I'm afraid it won't be noticeable for another month or two. But speaking of which, you really should think of some ways to win over the Emperor's heart. After all, you've already crossed this threshold. Are you just going to stay here and be a mere shadow's companion?"

Li Fu sighed and spread her hands, "Look at what you're saying, what can I do? Your brother is a cold-faced monarch who doesn't get close to women. Look at Xuan Ge, such a beauty, she only got your brother into the Quexing Palace twice. Someone with my looks can't even dream of it."

Qin Yu chuckled and said, "Only someone with your personality would dare to call my brother, the cold-faced emperor, here. Anyone else would probably be so scared they'd bite their tongue. But my brother has been strict with himself since he was a child. Since he became the crown prince, I've rarely seen him relax. Back then, when Father wanted to take more concubines for him, he refused, saying that playing around would ruin his life. Father even praised him. You are my sister-in-law now. Although the harem is full of spies, I only believe that you can bring my brother true happiness. So please, for my sake, take care of him."

"Listen to this, what kind of talk is this? The dignified Princess Jingyang actually asked me, a concubine in the harem, to take good care of the ruler of a country. You think too highly of me, don't you? But since you've already asked, it wouldn't be right for me to refuse. After all, I really am your sister-in-law."

Qin Yu laughed again: "Yes, sister-in-law, I want to say thank you." After thinking for a moment, she asked, "By the way, did anything happen in the palace these past few days?"

“A few days ago?” Li Fu raised her hand to support her head and recalled for a while. “It wasn’t anything special, but I heard that Imperial Physician Wang of Mingchen Palace committed suicide at home.”

"Imperial Physician Wang? Is that the Imperial Physician Wang from the Imperial Hospital?"

"I'm not sure about that. I've never been very familiar with the people in the palace."

"Imperial Physician Wang is highly skilled and was appreciated by the late emperor. After my elder brother ascended the throne, he was promoted to the position of Deputy Director of the Imperial Hospital. He could return home in glory in a few years, and he has a family to support. How could he possibly commit suicide at this time?" Qin Yu murmured, puzzled.

“Oh dear, what’s so strange about that? Maybe that Imperial Physician Wang made some mistake and couldn’t figure it out, which is why he committed suicide. Old people tend to overthink things.” Li Fu exclaimed, “Stop thinking about it and come play chess with me.”

After several morning court sessions, all the ministers noticed a problem: Grand Tutor Lin, who was highly regarded by the emperor, had become less talkative.

She rarely uttered a word at the morning court sessions, and even when the Emperor asked her questions, she would only reply, "Your subject has no objections." After several such instances, Emperor Hong stopped questioning her and instead focused his attention on the Inspector General, Ouyang Yufeng. Lin Cheng frowned as he looked at his "son," whose complexion was not good. He had kept his head down the entire time, a highly disrespectful act to the Emperor, yet the Emperor had not reprimanded him. What was going on? Since his serious illness, he seemed like a different person, rarely speaking and reportedly eating less. His health was deteriorating, and was he still recovering from his illness, or was he troubled by something else? It seemed he would have to find some time to ask Qiao Sheng about it carefully.

Lin Suyang felt like she was living a life worse than death. Every day, she had to pretend to be nonchalant in front of Qin Yu and others. Only when she was alone did she feel the pain and torment. Now, she held the title of Grand Tutor of the Central Plains but did nothing. She had not been to the Imperial Study again. Being alone with Qin Hao made her feel even more dangerous and fearful.

At home, she would write poetry and paint, chat with Qin Yu, and gradually her heart calmed down. After a long period of struggle and venting, she was finally able to face that person with some semblance of composure. What else could she do? Could she resist? No, even with memories from two lifetimes, she could only submit to this feudal dynasty where the emperor reigned supreme. However, a letter from Shen Xiao stirred up her almost-cooled emotions once again. In the letter, Shen Xiao told her that Master Gui Gan had repaired Si Junxing's eyes, and he would soon descend the mountain to Yundu to find her.

Lin Suyang was both sad and happy. She was happy that after all the suffering he had endured, his eyes could finally recover. She was sad because she was no longer the person she used to be. How could she face him, who knew nothing about her?

No matter how reluctant she was or how heartbroken she was, there was only one way she could think of: to escape.

Volume Three: Heartbreak, Chapter Seventy-Five: Where to Return (Part 1)

Just then, Emperor Hong planned to send court officials to the northwest at the beginning of the second year to inspect Prince Yin's achievements of the previous year. Who didn't know this was merely a pretext? Not long after Prince Yin left Yundu, Emperor Hong sent men to follow him, ostensibly for inspection, but secretly for surveillance or intelligence gathering. If Prince Yin truly harbored resentment, Emperor Hong wouldn't have sent men after him so quickly; even if he rode back at full speed, it would be too late to make arrangements. Lin Suyang sneered. He really was "cautious"!

Although Emperor Hong only needed his inspecting ministers to arrive in the Northwest two steps later than Prince Yin, and even if they were discovered en route, they could openly claim they were following the prince on the Emperor's orders, it was still no easy task. On one hand, they had to be wary of Prince Yin's suspicious treatment, and on his territory, they had to be observant of everything, otherwise they might lose their lives without even realizing it. On the other hand, they needed sharp eyes and a quick mind, and if they sensed anything amiss, they had to send a message back immediately. Being a spy in this era was truly not an easy job.

This time, Lin Suyang surprisingly submitted a memorial requesting to be included among the inspecting ministers. Qin Hao rejected her request without hesitation, but she persisted in submitting memorials, showing no sign of giving up until he agreed. After much deliberation, Qin Hao felt guilty and also wanted her to get away and clear her head. As for the ambiguous relationship between her and the Ninth Prince, he didn't want to delve into it. He had already said what he needed to say to Lin Suyang that day, and he believed she knew which of his words were true and which were false. Finally, with a stroke of his vermilion brush, he added her name to the list of inspecting ministers.

There were three ministers accompanying the three ministers: Lin Suyang, Li Kuangjin (Vice Minister of Personnel), and Liang Daoyou (Right Censor of the Censorate). In addition, Emperor Hong also assigned Lin Ziyan, the commander of the Imperial City Guard, to personally lead two thousand elite soldiers to escort the three ministers to Hedan City in the northwest.

Before leaving, Lin Suyang suddenly remembered something very important; she had completely forgotten about another dangerous person. That morning, after the morning court session, she quickly changed into plain clothes and headed to the Drunken Brothel. As soon as she entered, the madam greeted her with a beaming smile: "Oh, it's Young Master Lin! Ladies, come quick, come quick, Young Master Lin is here!" This madam had learned her lesson; back when Lin Suyang accompanied Qin Hao here, she always spent real money. Now, the moment the madam saw Lin Suyang's unique face, her eyes lit up—money was flowing like water!

However, she was destined to get nothing this time. Lin Suyang glanced at the smoky interior and asked the madam indifferently, "Where is Miss Jinling?"