Lan Yin Bi Yue

Chapitre 47

The most painful thing in the world is to be enjoying happiness one minute and then having to endure torment the next. For Lin Suyang and Si Junxing, it would be better if they both forgot each other, then they wouldn't be experiencing this feeling of being worse than dead.

One person keeps the sweetness and pain of their love story firmly in their heart, suffering the torment of longing and struggle every day. Even though their beloved is so close, they dare not cross the line because of her unfamiliarity. The other person, however, forgets everything, recalling the past in countless dreams, having impressions and guesses but never daring to confirm them.

It seems that all the misfortunes in the world have befallen them, and all they can do is try their best to save themselves and leave it to fate.

Lin Suyang didn't know how she felt about this "stranger" in front of her. She just felt that he was so familiar, so very familiar, as if he had always existed in her life. But now he was telling her story about him and another woman, a woman he deeply loved, with such an oblivious expression and such a affectionate tone.

A sudden pang of bitterness welled up inside Lin Suyang, and she even felt a pang of jealousy. Jealous of the person named Lin Suyang. Besides jealousy, there was also disgust—disgust at her lack of decisive courage. If she had been able to let go of her so-called kindness back then, things wouldn't have turned out this way.

"What would you do if it were you?" Si Junxing asked. "Me?" Lin Suyang smiled and said, "If I really love that person, I would follow him no matter what."

"Do you really love that person?" Si Junxing smiled bitterly. "Unfortunately, she will never say that, because she thinks too far ahead and too much."

"You've heard my story with her, so you shouldn't come again," Si Junxing said. Don't come again. Don't let me see you acting like you know nothing.

"Are you done?"

Yes, that's all. Except for the part about me attempting suicide for you, except for our wedding night, except for the unborn child in your womb. Let me bear all the pain alone; it's better than letting you be trapped in guilt and depression.

"Is this yours?" Lin Suyang looked at him thoughtfully and took out a jade pendant from her bosom.

Upon seeing the jade, Si Junxing's body visibly trembled, and he asked in a shaking voice, "How did this jade end up in your hands?"

“My maid found it.” She walked over and handed him the jade pendant through the gap in the iron bars.

"Now it's back to its rightful owner." Lin Suyang glanced at him and said, "I'll plead for him to release you."

"Him?" Si Junxing looked away from her. As he got closer, he could clearly see the faint bite marks on her neck. His face suddenly turned pale, and he closed his eyes in pain, saying, "Thank...thank you."

"You can go now, I'm tired." Si Junxing turned around and lay down alone on the straw-covered wooden plank, never looking at her again. Lin Suyang stared blankly at his sudden change in attitude, somewhat confused. Seeing that he had no intention of speaking, she didn't want to force him and could only leave the cell to call Yanzi back to the palace.

Yanzi finally breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't see Qin Hao on her way back, while Lin Suyang remained silent, lost in thought, and didn't worry too much about anything else.

Just as Yanzi was about to speak to Lin Suyang, she suddenly realized something was wrong. She looked around and realized what was wrong: the guards who had been standing at the door were gone!

Upon entering the garden, she searched high and low, only to find that all the other eunuchs and maids had vanished without a trace. She hurriedly explained the situation to Lin Suyang. Lin Suyang frowned at first, then surprisingly said happily, "That's good. Without anyone else, just you and me, wouldn't that be more comfortable?"

Seeing that she had no sense of crisis at all, Yanzi couldn't help but worry for her, saying, "Your Highness, how can you do this? Without guards, without maids and eunuchs to serve you, it means the Emperor doesn't care about you anymore. What will you and the prince do in the future?"

"What else can we do? We'll just give birth to the child and then the two of us can raise him. Besides, he's a royal child, so he won't suffer," Lin Suyang comforted her.

"Master... Oh dear, are you trying to drive me crazy with worry?" Yanzi exclaimed as she watched Lin Suyang's retreating figure heading into the room.

"No, I have to go and find out what happened. How did things turn out like this in such a short time?" Yanzi immediately ran out anxiously.

Lin Suyang had just sat down inside when he realized Yanzi hadn't come in yet. So he went to the door and called out to the garden a few times, but there was no response. He could only shake his head and say, "Where did that girl run off to again?"

Volume Four, Palace Absolute, Chapter 110: Lost on the Path (Part Two)

Si Junxing held the jade pendant he had lost and found for a long time without raising his head. Qin Hao sat coldly opposite him, watching him with waves of anger rising higher and higher, like a roaring, surging wave with a destructive force, the roar of a thousand troops about to engulf everything in an instant.

"You told her, didn't you?"

Si Junxing kept his head down, his eyes still lingering on the jade. Qin Hao was furious: "I'm asking you, did you tell her?"

"So what if it is, so what if it isn't?" Si Junxing finally raised his head and looked at him with disdain. "You're worried that she'll leave you after she finds out the truth, and you're worried that everything you've done will make her hate you for the rest of her life."

"Shut up!" Qin Hao shouted, standing up abruptly.

"What? Are you angry? You, Emperor Hong, what right do you have to be angry? You took advantage of my weakness to smear my ministers, steal my wife, break your promises, and are a despicable person who doesn't keep his word. What right do you have to be angry?"

Si Junxing's voice was flat and without any fluctuation, as if he were talking about something very ordinary. His expression, attitude, and piercing words were like a sharp blade that stripped Qin Hao bare, leaving him bleeding.

"I... just..."

"Just what? Don't tell me you just love her. People like you who only know how to force others don't understand love at all!" Si Junxing said contemptuously, looking at Qin Hao's bloodless face.

Qin Hao glared at him fiercely, wanting to refute him but realizing that every word he said was true. He had obtained Lin Suyang when she was sick and in a coma, then used lies to keep her by his side after she lost her memory, and now he had forcibly separated her from the person she loved most... Wasn't all of this his love? It was just that this kind of love was crazy.

Qin Hao closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and said, "I don't want to say anything more. No matter how you see me, I will not waver. Do you think I'm any better off after doing all this? I am the ruler of a nation, bearing the burden of the entire Great Yang Empire. Who can understand my loneliness and isolation? I admit my methods were despicable, but I can no longer turn back on the path of love. Therefore, you should never even think about taking her away from me, because I can no longer live without her."

She opened her eyes. Under Si Junxing's resentful gaze, she calmly walked towards the door.

"What if I have already told her the truth?" Si Junxing said, his eyes lowered.

Qin Hao stopped in his tracks. "You should believe that what I told you that day was the truth. Therefore, you won't."

When Yanzi rushed back to Hanzhu Garden, panting, she found dozens of guards surrounding the area. Terrified, she didn't know what was happening. She hurried inside and saw Qin Hao standing at the doorway, his hands behind his back. His master was glaring angrily at him.

Feeling Yanzi's gaze, Qin Hao turned and gave her a cold look. She immediately felt a chill rise from the soles of her feet. She lowered her head and retreated outside the garden.

Qin Hao watched as Yanzi left, then turned to Lin Suyang and said, "Tomorrow, I will hold the ceremony to establish an empress. I don't want to wait any longer."

Lin Suyang opened her eyes wide, shook her head, and said, "No, I don't want to."

"What did you say?" Qin Hao narrowed his eyes, his gaze filled with a danger colder than ice.

"I said I don't want to! I don't want to marry a liar like you! What Empress, what Yun Feng'er? It's all fake, fake!" Lin Suyang shouted, looking at Qin Hao and backing away step by step.

"Fake?" Qin Hao laughed instead of getting angry. "So what if it's true or false? I say you're my empress, so you are! You just stay here obediently, and I'll have someone come and dress you up tomorrow morning." After saying that, he turned to leave.

Lin Suyang watched his retreating figure and called out, "I won't go."

“I’m not going!” she repeated.

“Whether you go or not, I must see you at the ceremony tomorrow. Also,” Qin Hao said with his back to her, “I have already executed the people in prison by a thousand cuts, so no one will dare to speak ill of me or sow discord between me and the Empress.”

Lin Suyang asked in surprise, "What? What did you say?"

"Si Junxing has already been executed by slow slicing. I believe he deserves the charge of bewitching the Empress. Therefore, Empress, please take care of yourself."

Lin Suyang's face turned deathly pale. She swayed precariously, her hands gripping the table. The person who had told her the story was dead? She couldn't believe Qin Hao could be so unreasonable. That person had simply mistaken her for someone else. Why would he do this to him? When did Qin Hao become so cruel?

A sharp pain shot through her abdomen. She bit her lip tightly, sweat dripping down her face. Suddenly, she felt a warm flow down her thigh. In the midst of the pain, she saw Yanzi enter the room, then heard a scream, and everything went black as her body went limp and collapsed.

Qin Hao, who hadn't gone far from Hanzhu Garden, also heard the shouts coming from behind. His heart skipped a beat, and he turned around and quickened his pace to go back. Before he even reached the door, he heard Yanzi's trembling voice calling out, "Master, Master, wake up..."

He rushed inside and saw Lin Suyang lying lifeless in Yanzi's arms, her eyes closed, her skirt stained with blood. His mind went blank; all thoughts raced. He lunged forward, snatched Lin Suyang from Yanzi, and ran frantically out, yelling, "Summon the imperial physician! Summon the imperial physician!"...

The Qingxiang Palace, which should have been filled with joy for the Empress's arrival the next day, was now shrouded in gloom, with a tense atmosphere permeating every corner of the palace.

Everyone was busy in the Empress's palace with trepidation. The imperial physician stood tremblingly in the main hall outside the palace, while Qin Hao paced back and forth anxiously, staring at the tightly closed doors of the palace.

"Your Majesty, there is no need to worry. The Empress and His Highness the Prince will be safe and sound..." an old imperial physician advised.

Qin Hao clenched his fists, his eyes still fixed on that spot. After a while, a female attendant came out wiping her sweat. He stepped forward, grabbed her, and asked, "How is the Empress?"

The female attendant trembled with fear at Qin Hao's actions. "Your Majesty... Her Highness... she's too weak, she doesn't have much strength left, the little prince can't come out yet..."

Upon hearing this, Qin Hao shoved the female attendant aside and said coldly to the imperial physician who was bowing his head, "I demand that you ensure the safety of the Empress and the prince, or I will exterminate your entire family!"

The cruel words echoed in the vast palace, filling everyone with an unprecedented sense of terror.

Qin Hao coldly lowered his hands and walked step by step towards the palace.

"Your Majesty! No!" An Zhen, who hadn't spoken for a while, hurriedly stepped forward to stop him. "Your Majesty, the place where women give birth is unclean; Your Majesty's body must not touch it!"

The imperial physicians behind them also knelt down in unison, shouting, "Your Majesty, you mustn't!"

"Get out of the way," Qin Hao said calmly, his eyes unwavering.

“Your Majesty…” An Zhen opened her mouth, but in the end she said nothing and stood there without backing down.

Qin Hao walked around him, opened the door, and everyone inside was startled, staring at him in astonishment.

"Go about your business. If anything happens to the Empress, I will have you all buried with her."

Without looking at anyone, she walked straight to Lin Suyang and sat down next to her. Two palace maids tied a white cloth around Lin Suyang's waist to block Qin Hao's view, while a female attendant hurried in and out to change the water and fetch medicine.

Qin Hao saw basins of clean water being brought in, followed by basins of bloody water being taken out. The heavy stench of blood filled the entire room. He felt as if his heart was being twisted, every inch of it aching terribly.

The female attendant said that Lin Suyang was currently delirious, and if she couldn't be woken up in time, both the mother and child might not survive. Qin Hao only told them to do their best, that even if they had to give up the child, they must keep Lin Suyang alive. After the initial shock, the female attendant worked even harder to direct the palace maids to prepare.

Qin Hao silently took the ginseng slices from the maid and carefully placed them into Lin Suyang's mouth. At this moment, cold sweat streamed down Lin Suyang's pale face, her damp hair clinging to her face like that of a drowning person. Qin Hao brushed her wet hair aside. Holding her hand, he repeatedly kissed her forehead, her face, and the corners of her lips, his voice trembling as he softly said, "Wake up, please. As long as you wake up, I'll do anything you want. If you don't want the child, we won't have the child. If you don't want to stay in the palace, we won't stay. If you want to see him, I'll let you see him, as long as you wake up."

"I was wrong. I will never make you angry again, okay? Si Junxing is not dead. I know you like him, so I didn't kill him. All the things I said were lies to you."

Why do you keep making me see you like this? Why do you always cause me so much pain? All I do is love you. Is it wrong to love you?

Qin Hao brought her slightly cold hand to his lips. He gently kissed each fingertip, and a hot tear slid down his cheek and landed on Lin Suyang's chest.

Lin Suyang felt a tearing pain all over her body. Like a small boat being tossed up and down in a stormy sea, the waves of pain felt like they were going to tear her to pieces.

She heard someone calling her name, but she couldn't respond. Just when she thought she was about to die from the pain, wisps of cool energy flowed from her chest throughout her body, and the intense pain instantly subsided.

The pure energy gradually condensed into a substantial force that flowed down her body through her meridians, pushing something away. Strangely, the more that force was pushed away, the less her pain became. This feeling made her wish that the "thing" tormenting her would leave as soon as possible.

Faintly, she heard someone say joyfully, "The baby's head is almost out..."

In a daze, she saw herself standing on a high cliff, below which shrouded in a hazy white mist. She heard someone hugging her and saying, "You promised me you'd stay with me forever. Why do you always break your promises? Before, and now. Am I just a toy you come to when you want and leave when you don't?" He also said, "Give birth to him. I'll take care of him. I'll treat him like my own child. From now on, our family will wander the world together, you and me, and our child, together, never to be separated..."

Volume Four, Palace Intrigue, Chapter 111: The Cold Autumn of the Year's End (Part 1)

Wearing a bright red wedding dress and a veil with beaded chains hanging from the four corners, she and he, each holding a red ribbon, walked slowly on the long and steady clouds. A gentle breeze blew by, and the scene shifted again. He lifted her veil, and their eyes met. There was no tenderness or infatuation, only a touch of coldness, but also an unspeakable, indescribable, resolute sorrow, and a heart-wrenching, unwavering commitment to each other through life and death.

That passionate, desperate love affair vanished like a wisp of smoke into the melancholy sky, watched over by the stars, who gazed down upon the stumbling figures of all reincarnations.

His mournful breaths barely rippled in my ears. He said, "I will stay with you, for all eternity..."

I'll be with you for all eternity.

Lin Suyang woke up. She woke up with all her memories intact.

She opened her eyes and saw a ceiling of swaying white light. She was too weak to struggle and longed to close her eyes again and fall asleep, never to wake up again.

“Wind…” A hoarse voice came from beside her. After a long silence, she finally turned her head and met a pair of bloodshot, weary eyes. Those eyes stared at her blankly at first, then gradually turned into unbelievable joy.

"Feng'er...you're awake?" Qin Hao reached out and touched her face with trembling hands. The warmth on her face made him shudder. He leaned down and carefully rested his head on her chest, hearing her clear heartbeat. "I thought you were going to leave me and the child and never wake up again..." Her light, stiff hairs tingled through her thin clothes.

A flicker of pain flashed in Lin Suyang's eyes, and her hand slowly gripped the bed sheet beneath her.

Qin Xiao, her child, a tiny baby whose features had not yet fully developed.

When Qin Hao happily picked up Qin Xiao and placed him next to Lin Suyang, the baby opened his clear eyes wide and stared at Lin Suyang. His usually expressionless face broke into a big smile, and his little hands wriggled out of the blanket wrapped around him and waved in front of Lin Suyang, as if he wanted her to hold him.

Lin Suyang trembled. A mother's heart is connected to her child. Although it was the first time she had seen her own child, her heart was naturally filled with a deep maternal love. Suppressing her bitterness, she gently took the baby into her arms. Qin Xiao's little face was flushed with joy. His tiny hands still reached out and touched Lin Suyang's face. His chubby palms felt like soft satin, making her reluctant to pull away.

Qin Hao watched this scene from the side, his heart filled with happiness. He couldn't help but walk over and embrace the mother and child. The familiar yet unfamiliar embrace made Lin Suyang's body stiffen instantly. Immersed in happiness, Qin Hao didn't notice. He still happily exclaimed, "God has finally been kind to me. Just when I thought I was going to lose you, a miracle brought you back to my side. How lucky I am!"

Lin Suyang lowered her eyes. She lowered her head and pressed her lips to the baby's forehead. The sweet scent of milk temporarily soothed the sorrow in her heart. However, her hands, holding the baby, trembled slightly, as if she were experiencing unbearable pain.

Since the day Lin Suyang woke up, she hadn't uttered a single word. Qin Hao initially thought she had lost her memory again or had some hidden illness. He frantically summoned all the imperial physicians for a diagnosis. After examining her, the physicians said the Empress was fine. Although Qin Hao was puzzled, he didn't show it. He only looked at Lin Suyang with eyes full of inquiry.

In the days following her awakening, because she didn't want to talk to Qin Hao, she spent her days and nights playing with Qin Xiao. She watched his bright eyes squint into slits because of her, and saw his little mouth, always sucking his fingers, widen in a smile because of her. It seemed she could never get enough of holding him. Lin Suyang often liked to hold him in her arms and gently hum a little tune. The little guy would excitedly dance with joy. If Lin Suyang simply watched him quietly, he would also babble happily.

As a result, whenever Lin Suyang left Qin Xiao's sight, the child would cry incessantly. Moreover, apart from her, Qin Hao, and Yanzi who could hold him, anyone else who touched him would burst into tears without stopping.

Now Lin Suyang always regrets her initial reluctance. Qin Xiao has become a shackle that binds her firmly to this palace, something she can neither break free from nor take with her.