Кровавое убийство

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I rolled my eyes at him. "Didn't you already come in?"

"Why are you avoiding our young master?!" Zhou Tianyao didn't mince words, getting straight to the point—I knew he came to Cizhou with me for no good reason! I was wondering when he'd finally snap!

"How could I be avoiding him?" I denied calmly. "When the country is in peril, shouldn't we step forward and contribute our modest efforts?!"

"Fine, even if you weren't avoiding him," Zhou Tianyao gave me a patient look. "Then you still need to explain why you left without saying goodbye, and what kind of letter you left for the young master that almost drove him mad?!"

My heart clenched with pain—hearing that Huaiyuan was tormented by the letter I had deliberately left behind, why did I feel no joy as I had expected? Instead, I was plunged into an even deeper pain than before?! I finally realized how cruel I had been to Huaiyuan—I had used such a decisive method to leave him with a mystery he could never unravel in his lifetime, planting a thorn in his heart that could never be removed.

What right do I have to blame him for his infidelity? Wasn't I also unable to be completely selfless and without resentment towards him?! I wanted Huaiyuan's affection, I demanded his fidelity, I resented his infidelity, I regretted falling for him…! With all this, what right do I have to complain or regret?!

"If, I mean if I inform the young master and ask him to come here, would you be willing to talk to him face to face and clarify everything?" Zhou Tianyao cautiously probed me.

"No, no!" I jumped up in fright, instinctively peering outside with a look of panic. "If you dare to tip me off, I promise I'll disappear even more completely next time, so no one can find me! Maybe I'll just run off to the Jin Kingdom and marry a barbarian!"

Seeing my strong reaction, Zhou Tianyao said earnestly, "Miss Ye, I know you must have your reasons for doing this. But the young master is innocent! He is deeply in love with you! I think there must be some misunderstanding! You at least owe the young master an explanation! If you don't want to talk to him in person, perhaps you wouldn't mind letting this old servant be the messenger?"

I do owe Huaiyuan an explanation, but there's no misunderstanding! — Recalling that heartbreaking scene, I gritted my teeth, refusing to let tears fall in front of Zhou Tianyao. "There's no misunderstanding, and there's no need for an explanation. Just tell him to pretend I never existed in his life!"

"You! I never imagined you were such a stubborn and unreasonable person! I really misjudged you! And I've been standing on your side all this time!" Zhou Tianyao trembled with anger, turned around and stormed off.

I stood stubbornly, unmoved as a mountain, and the tears I had been holding back finally streamed down my face—why did they have to come after me and force me to recall those unpleasant memories?! Was it even a luxury for me to want to forget the past?!

A handkerchief was silently handed to me; it was Ah-Dai. When did he arrive? Did he hear everything?! — He refused to go down to the military camp, insisting on staying by my side. Zong Ze, because he was a guard assigned to me by Prince Kang and was mute, didn't insist.

The profound influence of environment on human nature is vividly demonstrated in Ah-Dai's case. Back in the Kang Prince's mansion, aside from his unusual appearance and extraordinary skills, he was practically a lonely soul living in the shadows, unnoticed by anyone. But since leaving the mansion, he was like a gem buried deep in the sand, the dust wiped away, gradually revealing a dazzling brilliance. A kind of magic seemed to emanate from him, completely obscuring his ugliness and physical disability, drawing people in irresistibly. Tang Huai and the others constantly surrounded him, seeking his guidance, but he usually ignored them. If pressed, he would simply offer a few pointers, leaving them pleasantly surprised—I often wonder, what kind of person was he before?!

"Ah-Dai, I'm so tired, can I lean on your shoulder for a bit?!" I murmured, and before he could reply, I gently leaned against his broad shoulder. Feeling his stiffness, I sighed softly—it seems I've been too demanding! I'd better leave. Ah-Dai, however, reached out and put his arm around my shoulder, pressing me against his chest.

"Ah-Dai, have you ever felt like you really, really liked someone?" I whispered through teary eyes, "Have you ever felt like you were deceived and betrayed by the person closest to you?"

Ah-Dai turned me around, held my shoulders, and stared into my eyes with clear heartache and many questions.

I knew Ah-Dai had already discovered that I was actually a girl. During the four days we rode together, he had too many opportunities to touch my body. But whether I was falling asleep wearily against his chest or the horse was leaping across streams, his hands were always placed only on my waist, and he never took the opportunity to touch anything above my waist.

I was secretly grateful for his silent respect and gentlemanly demeanor, and slowly I let down my guard. I began to confide in him about my innermost thoughts—things that had been bottled up inside me for so long without a chance to be expressed. Now, Ah-Dai was the best listener, and most importantly—no matter what he heard, he would never divulge a single word.

"Ah-Dai," facing his encouraging gaze, I remained silent for a long while before softly telling him, "Did I do something wrong? I just accidentally fell in love with someone who didn't belong to me. I was too greedy, wanting all his love, forgetting that he originally belonged to someone else! I was too cowardly, not even daring to ask him if he loved me! I was too weak, so when I suddenly discovered he had betrayed and deceived me, I could only choose to escape reality and leave. I was also cruel, not wanting him to forget me, so I deliberately left him with an unsolvable mystery..."

Ah-Dai's grip on my shoulders tightened, almost crushing my bones. But I chose to remain silent—if I could, I wanted physical pain to lessen the bitterness in my heart. "I originally thought that only by hurting him deeply could I find peace. At least, my pain would lessen. But I realized I was wrong!" I gazed at Ah-Dai through my tears, wanting an answer from his face. "Ah-Dai, tell me, why does my heart ache so much when I know he's truly been hurt?!"

Ah-Dai remained silent, simply gazing at me with a complex mix of emotions flashing in his eyes—Ah-Dai's expression seemed to be filled with pain; perhaps my story had stirred up painful memories for him?

"I'm sorry, Ah-Dai," I apologized hastily. "I shouldn't have told you all this. Did it remind you of unpleasant memories?!"—I seemed to have made another mistake: I only focused on dumping my own emotional baggage on him without considering Ah-Dai's emotional capacity—he must have his own painful history too, right? Maybe much worse than mine. The worst part is, he has no one to confide in!

"Sorry for what? You brat surnamed Ye, you're bullying Ah-Dai again because you have Prince Kang backing you up, aren't you? Let me tell you! Boss Ah-Dai isn't here to serve you!" Suddenly, Tang Huai popped out from behind Ah-Dai, rattled off a bunch of things, then waved his fist in front of my face a few times, glaring at me angrily, "Next time you bully our Boss Ah-Dai, see if I'll let you off the hook?!"

"Hey! I'm still Yue Erge's brother! I'm at least a year older than you, how dare you talk to your older brother like that?!" I yelled back—it's infuriating! So what if he knows a few moves? How come Ah Dai is the big brother while I'm only fit to be ordered around by this "Ye kid"?!

"Go, go, go! Ignore him, Ah-Dai! Hurry up and teach me a few moves, I refuse to believe I can't beat that chubby Zhou Jun!" Tang Huai pushed Ah-Dai out the door without another word. He completely ignored my anger with arrogant indifference!

Ignore me if you want, so what? Pshaw! I don't care anyway! —I punched the air in frustration... This book is first published on Xiaoxiang Novel Original Website, please retain this information when reprinting!

[Volume 3: War and Chaos - Chapter 17: Snow Covers the North of the River]

Tang Huai didn't take me, so surely I'll go find him myself?! Anyway, I've been here for several days and haven't seen them train at the drill ground. Imagine thousands of handsome guys over 1.8 meters tall training in perfect unison—it must be a visual treat!

Having finally found the drill ground, I was dumbfounded—the few dozen scattered individuals of varying heights and builds, laughing and gesturing casually, who were supposed to be the elderly, weak, sick, and disabled undergoing training, were the Imperial Guards that Wang An had boasted about, whose height was at least "five feet eight inches" and whose bodies were strong and healthy?! This was too far-fetched! Look at that old man on the far right; I bet my life on him, he's definitely over fifty! —No matter how old he looks!

Cheers occasionally rang out from the far left corner of the training ground. I followed the sound and found it was Tang Huai, Zhang Xian, Zhou Jun, Wang Gui, and those show-offs displaying their muscles! A group of busybodies had already gathered around, cheering them on—my second brother, Yue Fei, stood aside with a smile, watching them wrestle together.

Ah-Dai spotted me immediately, frowning at me from afar, signaling me not to come over. I pretended not to understand his meaning and walked over anyway, standing next to my second brother—aren't they just a few muscular men without shirts? You see them all the time at the beach in summer, everyone's dressed less than them, what's so surprising?!

"Third brother, you've arrived?" Yue Fei was clearly pleased with my arrival.

"Second Brother, why don't you join in? If you take action, they'll all have to step aside," I replied with a faint smile. Suddenly, I noticed Tang Huai's eyes wide open, straining with all his might to try and throw Zhou Jun to the ground. Remembering his contempt for me, I couldn't help but shout, "Zhou Jun, go for it! Oh, and twist his neck! Beat him up!"

However, although Zhou Jun was clearly much more agile than Zhang Huai, he was at a disadvantage in terms of size and strength compared to the tall and strong Tang Huai. Therefore, he always managed to let Tang Huai escape being knocked to the ground at crucial moments.

Seeing my strong support for Zhou Jun, Yue Fei suppressed a laugh and joked, "It seems my third brother has quite a grudge against Tang Huai! How about I host a banquet so the two brothers can shake hands and make peace?!"

"Second Brother, you're joking. How could I have any prejudice against Tang? It's him who doesn't like me, okay?!" I said a little embarrassedly, sticking my tongue out at him. I turned my head and pretended to look at the weapons on the weapon rack next to me—uh, Ah Dai seems unhappy? I gave him a smile, and his expression gradually calmed down. He walked to my side without making a sound.

"Hey, is this the weapon used in battle?!" I touched this one, then that one, and found it all so novel—this is an ancient weapon? Knife, spear, sword, halberd, staff... there are so many different kinds, and I don't recognize many of them.

“Third brother is a scholar, so he may not know much about these things.” Yue Fei walked over with a smile, pointed out the weapons to me, and carefully introduced the name and advantages of each weapon.

"Second Brother, why are there so few people in the drill ground? Where are the others?!" I finally couldn't hold back any longer and pointed to the pitifully few soldiers in the drill ground, asking Yue Fei the question that had been bothering me. "Also, didn't we say that our dynasty required candidates for the Imperial Guard to be at least five feet eight inches tall? What's going on here?!"

Yue Fei sighed deeply. The radiant spirit he had displayed while explaining the various weapons to me had vanished, replaced by a look of depression. "Third brother, you may not know this. Our dynasty adopts a conscription system, recruiting mostly famine victims, as well as thieves and criminals, the so-called 'eliminating thieves and relieving hunger.' Once enlisted, they serve for life, so there are many old and weak soldiers. The selection criteria you just mentioned were the regulations in the early days of conscription. Later, due to insufficient manpower, they have decreased year by year, and now they have dropped to five feet two inches (about 1.6 meters)."

"Our army is already short of men, and is filled with the old and weak. For a long time, the treacherous eunuch Tong Guan and the sycophant Gao Qiu have controlled the military and politics. They rely on their favor and have no scruples. They have seized military camps to expand their private residences and occupied more imperial guards to serve as bodyguards. This has led to the complete abolition of military training. Generals are greedy for money and ransom, privately employ soldiers, and embezzle military pay. Now, with the border in dire need, we have reached a situation where the generals do not know their soldiers and there is no one who can be used. It is truly tragic and lamentable!" (Note) At this point, Yue Fei's face was full of indignation and deep worry.

Sigh! Seeing Yue Fei so unhappy, I really regretted asking the question I shouldn't have. Just as I was feeling annoyed, there was a loud commotion over there—it turned out that Zhou Jun had successfully knocked Tang Huai to the ground and was showing off triumphantly.

"Ah, look! That idiot Tang Huai has lost again!" I hurriedly shouted excitedly to divert Yue Fei's attention and get rid of my somber mood.

"Boss Adai! The trick you taught me just now didn't work! How come I'm losing even faster than before?!" Tang Huai walked over angrily, full of doubts—Adai glanced at him sideways and made a helpless expression.

"Heh, the boss is the boss, but you're so clueless, you even have to add 'idiot' before that. There's no way the boss would teach you!" Wang Gui interjected sarcastically.

"What's the difference between 'Boss Ah-Dai' and 'Boss'?" Tang Huai retorted indignantly. "Besides, if I didn't add the word 'Ah-Dai,' how would anyone tell if I was calling him 'Boss Yue Fei' or 'Boss Ah-Dai'?!"

"Alright, alright! We're all brothers, what does it matter who loses?" Zhang Xian hooked his left arm around Tang Huai and put his right arm around Zhou Jun, a lazy smile on his handsome face. He was incredibly handsome! I was stunned—sigh! It seems the biggest gain from coming to the Northern Song Dynasty is being able to have close contact with so many handsome men!

Suddenly, Ah Dai, with a stern face, dragged me out of the training ground—he seemed angry? But I really don't understand, what is this good-natured guy angry about?

"Second brother, I'll come watch you guys do your morning exercises again next time!" I only managed to say that before Ah-Dai practically dragged me out of the drill ground amidst everyone's laughter—what was that all about? How embarrassing!