Бездействующие цветы и тени - Глава 42
Wu had given birth to Su Shi and Su Chen, but she had only seen them a few times. He Ziyuan was doing better in recent years, but in his youth, he often couldn't return home more than a few times a year. Every night, when she was alone, her eyes would wet with tears, then dry, then wet again. Even when she was with friends, and they were all praising their children, she didn't know what to say. Today, seeing her children, thinking that they would be together from now on and never be separated again, but seeing how distant and polite they were to her and her husband, she felt cold, heartbroken, and sad. All the grievances of the past ten years welled up in her heart, and finally, her face was covered in tears.
Just then, Granny Sun finished tidying up and came in to pay her respects to He Ziyuan and his wife. She saw that He Ziyuan looked heartbroken, Wu Shi was crying, Su Shi looked strange and asked Wu Shi to hug him, and Su Chen just lowered his head and let her hug him. Although the maids and servants tried to persuade them, it was not very effective. So they hurriedly stepped forward and bowed, saying, "Second Master, Second Madam."
When He Ziyuan saw Granny Sun, he breathed a sigh of relief. Granny Sun comforted him, "Grandma, don't be like this. We're together now. If we can't see each other, the children will worry. Besides, Shige and Guazi have just arrived and have been traveling for so many days. Grandma should let them rest."
Su Chen kept her head down, and Wu's face was very close to hers. She looked at her from one angle and didn't think she was particularly beautiful. She was only of average appearance, but she was calm, cautious, and proper, giving the impression of a traditional aristocratic woman.
However, considering that He Ziyuan had neither concubines nor maids, she felt that she was not that simple.
Hearing Liu Mama speak, Madam Wu was overjoyed. She wiped her tears with her handkerchief and said, "Mama is back too! I'm so happy. I didn't expect it to be so tiring taking care of these two children." After speaking, she looked at Su Shi and Su Chen and shed tears again, saying, "I was being inconsiderate. You two must be tired from your long journey. Go and rest. I've already arranged the rooms and servants. Go and sleep for a while, and we can chat again tonight." He Ziyuan also spoke a few words gently, his eyes tender and his tone cheerful, making people feel close to him.
For some reason, He Su Shi was slow to react and seemed dazed all day. Su Chen had no choice but to respond himself, say a few more words, answer the two men's questions about Suzhou, and then hurriedly followed He Su Shi downstairs.
The siblings lived very close to each other, so Su Chen found an excuse to go over. The maids and servants had already been dismissed, and He Su Shi sat expressionlessly at the table, his eyes still blank and dull. She dragged a chair over and sat beside him, staring straight at him. She sat there for a long time, but He Su Shi remained silent. Unable to contain herself any longer, she looked up at him. He Su Shi still seemed lost in thought, his gaze unfocused and dull. She waved her hand in front of him, "What's wrong?"
He Su Shi gasped, seemingly regaining his senses, and replied, "No, it's nothing." But he then reverted to his usual demeanor.
"Do you think I'd believe that?" she said worriedly. "Anyway, just act normal! You're new to the capital and unfamiliar with everything. If you're like this, you might as well not have come. Aren't you going to take the imperial examination? The relationships in the capital are intricate and complex, and the powerful are deeply entrenched. How are you going to deal with people like this?!"
She spoke with anger, but He Su Shi remained unchanged, not even blinking. Her anger flared, and she turned him to face her, saying, "What's wrong with you?! Even though I'm not your biological sister, and even though you might not be able to confide in me, I believe I understand you better than anyone else. Why are you acting like this?! If you lie to me or hide things from me, I'll pretend I don't know. But when you act like you believe me and are close to me, I naturally tell myself I believe you. I consider you my real brother because I know you're the only one who truly understands me here. I know that without you, I'd be truly alone and helpless. Even though I can't help you much, I'm genuinely worried about you. If you have something to say, even if you can't tell me, don't put on this act. Who are you trying to impress?! Enough with your cool act and your brooding facade! Do you know how worried and anxious I am?!"
Seeing He Su Shi look up at her, she panted and said, "When we first arrived here, I was hoping that the two of us could look after each other. You didn't say a word, and you treated He Ziyuan and Wu Shi like this after entering the manor. What are you playing at!" She finally couldn't hold back her anger and kicked him hard. He Su Shi felt the pain and laughed softly.
He laughed for a long time, tears streaming down his face, burying his head on Su Chen's shoulder, still silent. But she felt his shoulder quickly become hot and damp, the moisture seeping through his clothes. Feeling uneasy, she shook his back and asked, "What is it? If you can't tell me, at least tell me how long you're going to be like this, so I can prepare and help you out."
The He Su Shi she met was always confident and composed. He would laugh at her, scold her, and pretend to care for her. When he was planning his career and future, he was full of vigor and ambition. When he cared for her, he was gentle and kind. When he was with other people, he was steady and charming, but he had never acted like this before.
He Su Shi, she always thought of He Su Shi as fearless, able to adapt to everything and make use of everything to live tenaciously.
She never imagined she would see him like this. She never imagined he could be so vulnerable.
He simply rested his weight on her shoulder for a long time, then let out a low breath and said in a muffled voice, "It's really nothing." After saying that, he straightened up. His eyes were only slightly red, and there was nothing else wrong with them. His expression also seemed to have returned to normal. He smiled and said, "It's really nothing. You should go and rest too." He looked at her, hesitated for a moment, and then said, "In a few days, in a few days, I'll tell you then. Please leave me alone."
She slowly stood up, gently placed the chair back down, looked at him slowly, and then said softly, "I just want you to be my brother. If I need anything, you're the only one I can turn to. I just want you to think of me when you're in trouble and have no other choice."
He Su Shi laughed from behind, muttering to himself in a hoarse voice, "It seems, it seems..."
Chapter Five, The Wu Family
<><A><>The promoter function is now open! What are you waiting for? Join now!!!</A><> However, Su Chen didn't hear this; she had already closed the door and walked out.
The next morning, He Su Shi came to find her to pay her respects together. Su Chen was genuinely surprised; the person who had been so distraught yesterday had recovered so quickly, without a trace of struggle. He Su Shi casually led her to the main room, where He Ziyuan and his wife were already waiting. After exchanging greetings and drinking tea, the two had a good time.
After inquiring about Tang's mother's situation, Madam Wu learned that she had come to the capital with Cui's mother. She then asked about the journey and how well Tang and Cui got along. Su Chen answered her questions, and the two began to chat. Meanwhile, He Ziyuan was asking Su Shi about his studies. Su Chen overheard a few sentences; it seemed that He Ziyuan wanted him to use the phrase "色斯举矣" (se si ju yi) to create a short, connected eighteen-stanza essay as a starting point. She secretly glanced at Su Shi and saw beads of sweat on the back of his neck, and couldn't help but chuckle.
He Ziyuan seemed to be making up for all the educational guidance he had missed over the past ten years, constantly asking He Sushi questions, and becoming more and more excited with each question. At first, He Sushi answered with ease, but later he mostly listened, rarely speaking, and his neck was covered in sweat.
Su Chen chuckled to herself while sighing. If He Su Shi were really that He Su Shi, what would the scene be like now? If He Su Chen were really that He Su Chen, what would the scene be like now? She began to think that if He Su Shi hadn't transmigrated, the original little boy, who hadn't seen his father for the first time until he was sixteen, would have been so miserable and would never have been able to easily become close to his parents.
She had heard of He Ziyuan's illustrious deeds, but these deeds were the result of a tremendous amount of time and effort. When He Su Shi was born, He Ziyuan was on a diplomatic mission to the Western Regions. His mother, Tang, was worried about her daughter, Wu, who was weak after childbirth, so she followed the suggestion of the old physician's wife and sent her back to her parents' home to recuperate, while she raised He Su Shi herself. When He Ziyuan returned from the Western Regions to visit his mother, He Su Shi had just become an apprentice and was traveling with his master to explore new frontiers. When He Su Shi returned, He Ziyuan received an imperial decree to sail to the Western Ocean, and he rushed back to the capital to prepare without even having time to pack his belongings. The following years were filled with twists and turns, resulting in the strange phenomenon of father and son not seeing each other for over twenty years.
If it really is He Su Shi, how would he face his father?
If it really was He Su Chen, she glanced resentfully at Madam Wu—how would she face her mother?
After inquiring about the situation in the Suzhou residence, Madam Wu began to ask about her own situation. She inquired about the content of her lessons, her progress in needlework, her skills in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, and her proficiency in poetry.
Su Chen had a real headache.
She told her, with a slightly embarrassed and helpless tone, that she had only just finished memorizing the Book of Songs, had just learned needlework, and had only just begun learning the four arts: music, chess, calligraphy, and painting. She had fallen into the water before the Lunar New Year and didn't remember much about it yet.
Madam Wu looked at her with heartache, secretly wiping away tears. After a long while, she said, "Mr. Shen will arrive in a few days. It has been agreed that he will continue to teach you. If you don't understand anything in your studies, just ask. Study hard. If you really don't understand, ask your father." She sighed, "In any case, you must learn calligraphy, painting, poetry, and literature. You can be passable at needlework. Music and chess are not used much, so you can take your time. But you must learn calligraphy, painting, poetry, and literature well. There is a poetry gathering in two months. You must go and participate for a while."
Poetry gathering? What poetry gathering?! What does it have to do with her??? Su Chen looked at Wu Shi in astonishment. Wu Shi was also quite at a loss. "It's customary to hold poetry gatherings for plum blossom appreciation in winter. You can't avoid it, so you have to start practicing properly now. Since you've completely forgotten about it, let your teacher teach you everything again." She then turned to He Ziyuan, "Don't make things difficult for the child anymore. He's only been here a short time and you've already been crammed into his brain like this. He's already excellent, so there's no need to test him like this. Do you want to scare him?"
He Ziyuan smiled and said, "We father and son talk about our own things, and you mother and daughter talk about yours. Why do you care what I do?" He then pulled He Sushi and said, "Your mother dotes on you. Let's not let her see this. Let's go to the study." Upon hearing this, Wu couldn't help but spit at him. He Ziyuan smiled and went to the study with Sushi one after the other.
All that's left are Su Chen and Wu Shi.
Calling a stranger "mother" is so twisted and bizarre...
Su Chen chatted slowly with Madam Wu, but the strange sense of distortion could not be erased. Madam Wu must have noticed it long ago. She did not mention the matter at first, but told her about the things to pay attention to in the capital. Then she asked her some trivial questions about the past years. Su Chen had difficulty answering because she had just transmigrated. Fortunately, she had fallen into the water once and used "I don't remember" as a substitute. Although it was not very good, there was nothing seriously wrong with it.
After asking a series of questions, Madam Wu suddenly said softly, "I know you're not used to it." She said with a bitter tone, "Although other families also have children who don't see their parents often, it's not like us who haven't seen each other for more than ten years. Guazi is okay, she's seen your father a few times, but your brother has never seen him. As a wife and child, we should at least be understanding of your father's situation."
As they were talking, about to continue, a maidservant entered. She had a slightly square oval face, small eyes, but a fairly straight nose and a well-proportioned mouth, which gave her a somewhat neat and capable appearance. The maidservant bowed first, greeted the two women, and then asked Madam Wu, "Madam, the second son of Madam Qi is having his third-day celebration tomorrow. I have prepared the gifts as instructed and am about to send them over. Please let Madam check them first." Madam Wu agreed and went out to let several maidservants carrying trays come in. They lifted the lids one by one for Madam Wu to see. Su Chen also looked around and saw that one tray contained a set of books such as a writing brush, abacus, and primers for children, while another tray contained a set of children's toys such as drums, discs, guns, and puppets. She had seen a vendor selling these on the way here, but the quality and variety were far inferior to those in this tray. Another tray contained a complete set of small ceramic figurines, in various standing and squatting poses, with striking colors and delicate costumes and expressions. One of them, a small crawling doll with white glaze and green decoration, was particularly adorable, and she couldn't resist picking it up to examine it closely.
Madam Wu smiled and said, "If you like it, I'll have a whole set made for you today, would you like it?" The maid also said, "If you like it, Miss, I'll send a set over to you today."
Su Chen smiled and put down the doll, saying, "I was just curious, I don't really want it." Seeing the character "He" engraved on the doll's hand, he asked if it was made in the manor. Su Chen replied, "No, it's from Tianyuan Old Shop." Madam Wu added, "Everything ordered from the manor has this engraving; you see, the others do too." She then showed Su Chen the other items one by one, instructing him to memorize them. "Now that you're here, you should learn what you need to learn," she said gently. "Don't rush, take it one step at a time, you'll get used to it."
Chapter Six, A Gamble with Life
The promotional function is now open! What are you waiting for? Join now!!! Although she said she'd take it slow, Ms. Wu was clearly in a hurry. She gave He Sucheng a short test on needlework that afternoon, and his basics were indeed almost zero—but that was fine; he couldn't use it for now, so she could leave it aside. She also tested him on poetry—not knowing how to compose poems or lyrics was one thing, but the real problem was that, aside from the simpler poems, He Sucheng didn't even know the origins and meanings of slightly less common allusions—how could he possibly understand the true meaning of poetry in that state?
She then tested her skills in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting. On the zither, she could only play a short piece, and even then, it was intermittent. Apparently, she couldn't understand the chess scores and wasn't skilled enough. The guzheng was also very difficult. In a game of Go, she was surprised to discover she could win by over eighty points! Her painting was decent, but the composition and artistic conception were quite strange. It was primarily realistic, but her brushstrokes were careless and lacked depth. Apparently, she often painted figures instead of landscapes or orchids and bamboo—definitely not a very good hobby. The only thing she could be considered commendable was her calligraphy.
Wu took the letter paper in her hand, then a blank sheet of paper. Before the freshly ground ink dried, she wrote "My heart has a place to belong" on the blank paper, following Su Chen's format and content. She put down her pen and compared the two sheets of paper side by side.
Wu's calligraphy was learned from Li Chengbo since childhood, with daily practice. Li Chengbo was an unknown descendant of Li Jianzhong, a calligrapher from the early Song Dynasty. He taught students to write according to their own personalities, not to imitate the models. Wu's calligraphy was consistently the best among several female students at the time. Even now, when she picked up the brush, her strokes were simple, quiet, and elegant. She compared her own work, nodded, and then put down her brush. Suddenly, she realized those few words and said, "Guazi, do you miss Grandma?"
She pointed to those four words, "I miss Grandma."
...She did think about it, but these words had nothing to do with Tang's mother. It was simply because she didn't remember how to write many traditional Chinese characters, and the characters "归" and "处" happened to be two of them.
However, she nodded nonetheless, saying, "I haven't seen Grandma for quite some time. I miss her very much, and I miss home too." Madam Wu slowly replied, "It's only natural to miss her; filial piety is the most important thing..."
Madam Wu paused for a moment, then pointed to the characters and said, “At first I was worried that you had forgotten how to write, but now it seems there’s no need for that. Mr. Shen taught you very well. Although your brushwork is still a bit rough and immature, the structure and form are there. If you practice diligently for two years, you’ll be able to show it off to those scholars.” She continued, “I’ve never seen this character before. It vaguely seems to have some of the brushstrokes of Su Shi and Huang Tingjian, but it’s not quite the same. It seems to be something else entirely. It’s remarkable that you’ve managed to write in your own style. I practiced calligraphy for more than ten years before I was able to break free from Madam Zhong’s style and slowly write my own characters.”