51

Capítulo 58

I accompanied her on patrol, and then we caught the stalker red-handed.

He was so frightened he almost collapsed. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was Li Yaosheng, my junior who was going into the second year of high school, and Renwang's adopted son.

I asked him for a long time, but he couldn't even speak clearly.

“…If you want to pursue Luo Jun, just say so. Why be a stalker?” I scolded him.

"No, no." He lowered his head. "I...I...I just wanted to confirm...that the person with her wasn't...was Tiger Dad..."

Before I could even finish speaking, tears blurred my vision. Renwang was already weeping. "Commander-in-Chief, please say no. This child has no affinity with ghosts and spirits. Why must he bear this fate? Haven't you and Luojun suffered enough...?"

But this time I didn't want to heed his pleas.

"Yes, that's your tiger dad. He even gave up his divine status for you and possessed the body of your pet tiger cat."

"I...I suspected it all along..." He burst into tears, "Tiger Dad, Tiger Dad, why didn't you let me know, why didn't you appear before me? I was so heartbroken when you died! I could only see a blurry shadow of you when you were beside her...You took the car accident for me, right? I saw you! I thought I was going to die, but you were hit and thrown out right before my eyes...Are you in pain? Huh? Tiger Dad, are you in pain...?"

Renwang wept uncontrollably and could only shake his head. Luojun, who had heard this story before, kept sniffling, her eyes red from crying.

This time, she didn't hide her distress anymore; she burst into a loud, tearful wail. I had wanted to cry, but seeing her like this, I couldn't. I could only pat her and hand her a handkerchief.

She actually used my clean handkerchief to blow her nose, what an arrogant bird queen!

After that, our campus patrols became a two-person team. Because of this, the lonely Luo Jun gained a partner and a friend. Although they were extremely polite to each other, even until I graduated, they still called each other "senior" and "junior," walking side by side with an arm's length between them.

Whether it was friendship or acceptance of their useless talents, their expressions began to become calm and energetic, no longer the easily frightened birds they once were.

When they graduated, I gave them my phone number so they could call me if they had any problems. They were all very polite kids, and unless it was something they really couldn't solve, they wouldn't call me for two or three years.

As for the "Silent" secret society, they only told me about it ten years after graduation, at their wedding.

Yes, this lovely couple got married. Niou still has feelings for the school and stays there, but they share incense at Niou's incense burner and offer a memorial tablet to the Tiger King, who is their shared, spiritual father.

But at that time, I had no idea that a tremendous change would occur in me after their wedding.

However, that's a story for another time.

Back when they were still innocently patrolling the campus, Huang E would often fly to follow them, and then return thoughtfully.

I've given up on this futile search. Let her do whatever she wants; I'm fed up with this endless search.

But one day I was fast asleep when she hit my head hard, waking me up. "...What?" I opened my eyes groggily. Good heavens, it was 4:30 in the morning.

She said with a serious expression, "I am over 1,500 years old since I was born."

“…That’s good.” I pulled the blanket over my head. Although my mind was only five years old, all those years had been wasted.

She relentlessly pulled back the covers, "Actually, the monsters of my generation were already quite skilled. Because they all knew to seek out masters, but we Fiend Birds don't like being controlled. Anyway, eating people doesn't require great skill."

I'm so sleepy, why did they have to pick this time for the old palace maids to reminisce about the past? "Oh?"

She simply grabbed my ear (now that she's in human form, her hands and feet are very coordinated), ignoring my whimpers, and said, "They're talking to you!"

"I'm listening, I'm listening!" I cried out, trying to save my poor ears.

"Hmph." She finally let go and muttered to herself, "That's why I've never taken a master. I've lived freely for over a thousand years and I don't think there's anything good about becoming human. There's nothing to learn. There are so many dirty things in the human heart, it's very interesting... but I will never understand what's the point of them crying and laughing like that when they have such short lives."

“It’s precisely because we live so short that we have to rush to cry and laugh.” I yawned. “Unlike you monsters who live so long, you can think about waiting a few hundred years before you cry and laugh.”

She stared at me intently, making me feel uneasy. Our connection as human was somewhat slow; I could only sense subtle emotions—complex, but not negative.

"I initially thought that possessing you was really bad luck..." She hesitated, having hardly ever said a kind word in her life, and was at a loss for what to do. "But now I don't feel so bad."

Did our Empress take the wrong medicine today? "What should I say? Say...thank you?"

She laughed and hit me several times, "Hengzhi, you're really annoying..." She suddenly hugged me, which startled me.

“I finally understand why humans, who are so weak and short-lived, can still reproduce so many times and so widely.” Her expression softened. “Because the fire of ‘knowledge’ is passed down from generation to generation… just like you passed it on to that thin, sallow little girl.”

She lay on my lap, and I gently stroked her hair. So this was what she'd been thinking about all this time. There's nothing inherently good or bad about it; frail humans must exist this way, after all. Monsters don't value inheritance as much, because of the vastness of time.

But I also feel sorry for her. She was originally a free-spirited, unrestrained, and reckless bird, but now she has been tainted by the joys and sorrows of the human world, and has become less like a demon...

Is this really a good idea?

"Of course it's good." She looked puzzled. "Transforming into a human is quite fun. I dare say that the dead Taoist priest's bedroom skills are not as good as Yun Lang's."

I bet my hair stood on end. "I don't want to hear it!"

"Oh, you'll graduate from university in another semester, and you're still afraid to listen to this? You just don't know what it's like to be a man... Not every man can do it... I'll go talk to Yunlang and ask him to give Tang Chen some pointers..."

"Shut up! Don't!"

"What's there to be shy about? Based on my many years of experience 'playing' with men, Yunlang is truly a master! Before, I would only be impatient with when these stupid men would finally finish, but now I can't wait for it to end..."

"Shut up, you idiot!"

"Don't run away, Hengzhi! You're already twenty-two! Do you really want to be a spinster for the rest of your life?!"

I rushed out of the room, climbed onto my pajamas, and sprinted towards school. Huang E reverted to her true form and kept muttering to herself until I burst into the small office, finally locking her out.

He leaned against the door, sweat pouring down his face.

“…Girl, tell the truth, it’s better not to be an old maid, it’s bad if word gets out,” the old demon said.

"Oh my god..." I groaned, "Old Master Mo, don't join in the commotion... How did you find out too?"

"The sound of the 'fierce bird' can be heard from eight hundred miles away. I think the whole cemetery knows you are a virgin."

She slid down weakly along the door panel, buried her burning face in her palms, and could no longer lift it.

(The inheritance is complete)

Part Three: Deboning

The door to the small office creaked softly a few times, startling me awake from my nap on the sofa.

“I can’t stop him,” the old demon said, spreading his hands. “He’s young and full of yang energy, while I’m already past my prime.”

"Old Master Mo, you are still vigorous despite your age, what are you saying?" I replied casually.

"Hmph, I'm not buying your sweet talk." Despite saying this, he happily closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I ruffled my messy hair, opened the door, and met Tang Chen's gaze. He blushed slightly and handed me a bag of clothes. "...I can't exactly go to class in my pajamas, can I?"

I took it. "...How did you know I was here?"

He stammered for a moment, his cheeks flushing even more. "Huang E transformed into human form early this morning and went to my room... saying a bunch of nonsense."

I didn't want to ask her what she said, "something or nothing."

It was all such a terrible misfortune, and as a result, we were both incredibly awkward and didn't know what to do.

“I…” I waved the bag of clothes, “I’ll change first.”

"Oh, right, let's change first." He stepped out. "I'll wait for you outside."

When I pulled the bra out of the bag, my head started to throb. From what I know, Huang E would definitely tell him to go to my room to get his clothes; I wasn't going to kindly help him pack.

That damn stupid bird deserves to be roasted into a roasted bird by Xu Rujian.

I changed my clothes listlessly, and when I opened the door, Tang Chen was leaning against the wall waiting for me. That damned, stinky Tang Chen, who usually follows me around so much, has vanished without a trace. He doesn't even bother to say hello. The atmosphere is so strange; what should I do?

"Um..." Tang Chen pointed to the sink not far away, "would you like to wash up first?"

He even prepared toothpaste, toothbrush, face wash, and towels. It was the first time in my life that I was treated like an empress dowager, with someone serving me while I brushed my teeth and washed my face. He even helped me roll up my sleeves.

I'm definitely not destined to be a pampered young mistress. I don't even know what to do with my hands and feet while he's just sitting there like a towel rack.

He had just finished brushing his teeth and was washing his face when he turned to the side, desperately trying to suppress a laugh. "...Xiao Zhi, I don't know if your 'inner beauty' will... will it be like two pineapple loaves... or a mini pineapple loaf."

Bending over, I felt all the blood rush to my face; it must be burning red. "I'm so sorry, I just have to wear such thick padding..." My flat chest has always been a sore spot for me, and you actually laughed at my bra for looking like a pineapple loaf!

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I turned on the tap and sprayed him with water. He wiped his face in surprise, "...Xiao Zhi!"

"Go ahead and laugh, go ahead and laugh!" I was so angry that I wouldn't stop.

He wasn't having it, so he turned on another tap and sprayed me all over.

I got even angrier and shouted, "Jin has 100,000 horizontally sharpened swords..."

"If you want to fight, come sooner rather than later!" he shouted without stopping.

Okay, okay, since he's already challenged us, why be polite?! We started a water fight in the freezing weather of 17 degrees Celsius until our classmates desperately shouted for us to stop, afraid that innocent bystanders would get hurt.

"Are you guys crazy? It's almost winter break and it's freezing cold, and you want to have a water fight?!" my classmate shouted, looking at us two completely soaked chickens, our shoes were soaked through and making a squeaking noise as we walked.

Thinking about how childish we had just been... we burst into laughter, hugged each other and patted each other on the back, before going to our respective dorm rooms to shower. Xiaoting even kindly lent me some clothes.

"That's strange," Xiaoting said, making me a cup of hot cocoa, looking very troubled. "It's supposed to be very sparkly... but I feel like it's made by two little kids, so it doesn't sparkle at all."

I chuckled dryly, drying my hair. Kid, don't even think about it, because it's not even a possibility; there's no way it could possibly happen.

When I dried my hair and walked out of the girls' dormitory, Tang Chen was already waiting for me outside. He put his arm around my shoulder and patted me twice. I put my arm around his back, and we made up again.

"Let's have a water fight at the beach in the summer, and I'll be fully equipped!" He held up his finger.

"Hey~ You're issuing a challenge? Who's afraid of who?" I nudged him.

But summer... is the season for farewell songs to begin. Whatever. As long as he doesn't have a girlfriend, he'll always be my Tang Chen, someone I'd risk my life for.

"It's a deal." We said in unison, clapped our hands three times to seal the oath, and went to class arm in arm.

Being around him felt exceptionally warm, just like his name suggests.

Afterwards, Huang E cursed at me, saying that she deliberately created the opportunity and thoughtfully avoided me. Tang Chen and I ended up having a water fight.

"...You're the biggest idiot of all, and Tang Chen is the biggest moron of all! You two, one crippled and the other utterly lacking in charm, are truly a perfect match! I've never seen such clueless people. Even if you were hung upside down and distilled, would you still be able to extract even 0.001 milligrams of romance?!"

"I haven't settled accounts with you yet!" I was furious. "Now all the dead monsters and ghouls are grinning at me, and some people are even asking me if Tang Chen has any problems..."

This made him angry, and the native inhabitants and neighboring monsters gathered around, chuckling and offering all sorts of strange remedies.

“It’s the 21st century,” one of the local residents said, shaking his head. “These days, a 22-year-old virgin isn’t a rare commodity, but rather, no one wants her…”

It wasn't until I snapped and pulled out my slingshot that these bastards (some of them were indeed dead) laughed and ran away, finally giving me some peace and quiet.

They're all such big mouths! If we weren't at school, I would definitely teach them a lesson!

“You better watch out when you get back,” I threatened her.

She puffed out her chest and said, "Come on, come on, do you think I'm afraid of you?!"

Tang Chen smiled and comforted us as we prepared to enter the classroom.

A middle-aged man blocked our way. I stared at him blankly, finding him strangely familiar. Before I could even think or react, I was slapped so hard I slammed into the classroom door. My head was ringing, and it took a while before I felt a sharp pain.

"I'll fight you to the death!" He rushed forward to fight again, but Tang Chen stopped him. Fortunately, Tang Chen stopped him, otherwise Huang E would have caused some injury by charging at the man in anger.