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I asked him in an almost inaudible voice, "Hey, Xu Lie, am I about to break down, or have I already broken down?"

While he was still stunned, I struggled to jump down, casually tidied my messy hair, looked up at him with a smile, and said, "Lie, will you take me to the study?"

“You have a fever, and…” Xu Lie frowned as he looked at me.

"It's alright." I raised my hand to smooth the wrinkles between his brows and said softly, "As long as Lie stays by my side, I will definitely be able to hold on."

He sighed silently, bent down, picked me up, and walked towards the study.

That night, I closed my eyes as soon as my head hit the bed. Xu Lie seemed to have more to say to me, but seeing how tired I looked, he simply held me gently in his arms and whispered, "Goodnight."

When I opened my eyes, I saw a desert as I had hoped, with yellow sand gently swirling around me. I crawled out of the cave and, with great difficulty, dragged Yihan out as well, putting his right hand around my shoulder and hanging it on my body.

Lin Yu is nearly 1.7 meters tall and not particularly weak, but even carrying Yi Han, who is over 1.8 meters tall, he still stumbled and almost fell to the ground. I steadied myself. Without food, camels, or enough water, we began our journey through the desert.

“This is called Haloxylon ammodendron.” I pointed to the small desert plant that I had finally found and laughed excitedly. “Finding it and that poplar tree that was at a 30-degree angle to the ground means that an ancient river once flowed through here. If we connect these plants in a line, we may find the ruins of an ancient city or a valley with lush vegetation.”

Zi Mo leaned closer with a hint of curiosity, then nodded and said, "It should be just as you said, Galan. How did you know that?"

I helped Yihan up from the ground and said as we walked, "Zimo, you're asking a question you already know the answer to."

Zi Mo rubbed his forehead and laughed: "Computer? Internet? What are those things? Besides, didn't you, Galan, tell me to have a normal conversation with you?"

"I...cough...cough cough..." I choked on a mouthful of sand, coughing violently, my chest ached, and I coughed even harder. I continued until my face turned red and I was too weak to do anything but put Yihan down.

"Galan, are you alright?" Zimo asked worriedly.

I waved my hand and plopped down on the sand, finally managing to catch my breath before saying, "Did I mess up Lin Yu's body? Why do I keep feeling terrible pain in my lungs and chest?"

"Lungs?" Zi Mo was surprised for a moment, then nodded solemnly and said, "It must be that when you fell off the cliff, something got into your mouth and injured your lungs, or you hurt your chest. Let a doctor take a good look at you after we get out of the desert."

I nodded, helped Yihan up again and walked forward. After a pause, I suddenly turned back and smiled, "Zimo, it's good that you're here."

Zi Mo paused for a moment, then a warm glint appeared in his brown eyes, under the blazing sun and amidst the swirling yellow sand.

This back and forth took seven days. After seven days, I was exhausted, but I finally carried Yihan to a place with towering rocks and lush vegetation, which could almost be called an oasis. These seven days were the longest seven days of my life, and I felt like I had stretched one day into two.

In modern times, I spend my days either online or in the school library researching any books on desert survival. Every night, I try to fall asleep before moonlight, sometimes even taking sleeping pills. But one time, after being intimate with Xu Lie, I returned to find Yi Han gone. If Zi Mo hadn't told me the sand dunes had shifted and the landscape had changed, Yi Han would likely have been buried alive under the sand. So, from then on, whether I'm sleepy or not, and regardless of whether Xu Lie will be angry, I insist on going to sleep before moonset.

In ancient times, I always thought this desert would eventually become my nightmare. Now, the mere sight of sand in reality makes me want to vomit. The scorching sun has peeled away layers of my skin; how long has it been since I've had a proper meal? When thirsty, I dig a hole under the blazing sun using distillation methods, collecting some distilled water in my clothes to save myself and Yihan's lives, or I dig down from the root collars of desert plants, finding damp sand and saltwater, and then using simple sunlight to evaporate and filter it, obtaining a small amount of unpalatable fresh water. When hungry, I eat all the plants I can find in the desert, such as jujubes.

What kind of days were those? Unprecedented and unparalleled, contemplating the vastness of heaven and earth, I wept alone in sorrow. I had become numb, so numb that I forgot fear, forgot panic, forgot cowardice. Whether in ancient or modern times, there are always periods each day when my mind is unclear, forgetting many things, yet inexplicably remembering many more. Occasionally, I would lie awake on my soft down bed, staring at the ceiling. After a while, it felt as if a heart hung there, rotting and bleeding from the inside out.

At 6:30 in the evening, I carried a large stack of documents back to my and Xu Lie's bedroom. The moon was about to rise. I walked unsteadily to the table, and with practiced ease, I reached into the drawer, poured out a bottle, swallowed a white pill, thought for a moment, and then felt it might not be enough, so I poured out another one, licked my lips, and swallowed it again.

After showering and changing into my pajamas, my head was already spinning. Just as I was about to go to bed, the door slammed open and slammed shut. Xu Lie's face was grim, his beautiful starry eyes were now lifeless, and his steps were unsteady.

I was taken aback and quickly helped him sit down. I smelled the alcohol on him and my heart tightened slightly.

"Galan..." he called my name, placing his hands on my neck, his expression one of utter exhaustion. "Galan, don't push me away again tonight." His deep tone sounded like a plea, or perhaps a deliberate attempt to suppress his pain.

I placed my hands on his arms and asked softly, "Lie, what happened?"

Xu Lie tightened his grip, pulling me firmly into his arms, and said in a hoarse voice, "Galan... I didn't want to kill her... but... why did she commit suicide?... She was such a proud person, yet she committed suicide for me..."

I shuddered violently, and the dizziness and drowsiness instantly subsided. Xu Lie just said suicide? Who committed suicide? Could it be…: “Xue’er?”

Xu Lie buried his head deep into my neck, his hot breath on my skin, and I felt a surge of sensitivity: "Why doesn't Xue'er understand? We can't go back... Even if she commits suicide, we still can't go back."

“Xu Lie… Lie, don’t be like this.” I patted his back, enduring the drowsiness brought on by the medication. At this moment, he looked like a fragile and helpless child. “Xue’er is alright now, right? People say that people who have died once will understand a lot of things, so you have to believe that she can stand up again.”

Xu Lie released his grip, slowly raised his head, and looked at me with a puzzled expression, as if he couldn't believe that such words had come from my mouth.

Just as I was about to speak, his eyes darkened, and he pulled me into his arms and kissed me deeply. I hurriedly pushed him away, and said in a hoarse voice, "I...I want to sleep..." Besides, the sleeping pills were about to take effect.

"I told you, don't push me away tonight!" Xu Lie suddenly became like a raging wild beast, throwing me heavily onto the bed. Before I could react, he leaned over me and pinned my hands down, growling, "You say you want to sleep every day! Are you really tired, or do you hate me touching you?!"

"I... just a few more days will be enough..." I gasped, my eyelids feeling increasingly heavy and unable to stay open. "Xu Lie, don't do this. If you really want it... then go during the day... not now..."

Xu Lie's eyes were bloodshot. He lowered his head and suddenly captured my lips, ravaging them mercilessly. Only when blood slowly seeped from my lips did he straighten up, looking at me with eyes that seemed to devour me, and said in a hoarse voice, "Galan, this is a marital obligation. You have no choice but to accept it." After saying that, without waiting for my reply, he suddenly ripped off my nightgown, and his dense, burning kisses rained down on my body.

The buttons on my pajamas tumbled and rolled a few times, falling to the floor here and there. Listening to that peculiar rolling sound, I slowly drifted off to sleep under the cool, fiery warmth of the night, my soul departing for another world.

Xiao Yi

2007.8.29 19:04

Chapter 29 Lone Smoke in the Desert.

Um, Binglian, the guy who helped me write the lyrics, insisted that I ask here if anyone has a copy of the TV series "School Days" (I think that's what it's called, it's a super old series)... Ugh, I feel bad because I got a gift from him, so I had to ask. If anyone has it, please let me know, thanks...

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Chapter 30 Trap

Chapter 30 Trap

I opened my eyes and saw an exceptionally beautiful, dark sky, with a bright moon hanging in the night sky and stars twinkling. The ground was bathed in a silvery light, a sight that captivated me. I straightened up and felt a bit cold. Sure enough, I noticed that the firelight had dimmed considerably, so I quickly threw back in the dry branches of the bushes I had prepared nearby.

The fire crackled and popped, illuminating Yihan's still pale face. I wiped his face with my sleeve and noticed his breathing was even and deep. The bluish tinge on his forehead had faded, and his lips were no longer purple, though extremely cracked. It seemed I had to find running water today; otherwise, we would both inevitably dehydrate and even die of heat exhaustion.

Camels can find water, but I didn't have any camels with me, so I had to settle for herbivores and insects. Early morning is the best time to find food and water in the desert, so I asked Zimo to keep an eye on Yihan and float to my side to let me know if anything happened. Then I set off to find water myself.

First, I searched for insects. I carefully walked along the rocky wall, listening intently for the buzzing of flies or bees. In reality, this was easier said than done; by the time the sun began to rise, I still hadn't found a single insect. Finally, I spotted a pool of water. Licking my parched lips, I almost impulsively plunged in to drink, only to find the surface covered with the rotting, stinking corpse of a squirrel, the water still and stagnant. If I drank from it, I feared I would immediately contract germs.

The agony of having the source of life so close yet being unable to access it is unimaginable to those who haven't experienced it. With utter dejection, I wandered out of the canyon, looking back every few steps. Just as I was about to return to Yihan's place, I suddenly heard a familiar hissing sound. I shuddered; unlike the naiveté of a few days ago, I now knew that the sound came from a snake. And, most likely, a highly venomous rattlesnake.

Snakes are common in desert canyons, but they are afraid of the sun, so they are usually only active at night or in the early morning. A thought suddenly struck me, and a surge of joy welled up inside me. Where there are snakes, there is likely to be damp soil and water. I mustered my courage and walked step by step towards the direction of the hissing sound. Listening intently and observing carefully, I realized that Lin Yu's senses were incredibly acute. Judging from the sound, the snake was at least ten meters away, yet I had observed its movements perfectly.