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Kapitel 203

Yun Yan's face turned deathly pale instantly. Just as she was about to speak, the door was suddenly pushed open. Bu Ying stood outside the door and said coldly, "The Hidden Lord wants to secretly leave Fengyin Kingdom and leave you. He just finished explaining everything half an hour ago and set off alone. He told Yun Yan to deliver the letter to you in three hours."

I jumped to my feet, no longer feeling the pain all over my body. I was shocked and in pain, but mostly I was terrified: "You said...you...you said Yihan is leaving...leaving me?!"

"Yes." Busing Shadow nodded. "The Hidden Master is heading west along the mountain path. I have prepared the Thousand-Mile Steed outside the door. You can ask him directly if you have any questions."

"Ying! You're insane!" Yun Yan exclaimed, "Lin Yu's physique is like this, and he's traveling alone..."

I didn't listen to Yunyan's last words and rushed out like a madman. The wind roared in my ears, the scenery around me rushed past, and I galloped like an arrow on horseback. The horse's hooves seemed to pound into my heart, one pound after another. Xue'er's ferocious face was smiling at me again, and Xu Lie's calls were mixed in with the wind, one after another. I felt like I was about to collapse.

All faces and voices faded away, leaving only one sentence: Yihan is going to abandon me, he is actually going to abandon me.

The horse sped faster and faster, but my vision blurred. Riding in this condition was far too much for my body; the pain in my lower body nearly threw me off several times. But I couldn't care less about anything else. Yihan was leaving; Yihan was actually leaving me at a time like this. Did he not want me anymore? Had he finally given up on me?

An overwhelming fear surged up, engulfing me in an iron cage called hell. I struggled desperately, only to find that all I gained after being battered and bruised was despair, adding another layer of despair to the already terrifying and lonely iron bars.

You were holding me and saying you'd never let go last night, you kept promising you'd never abandon me. Your vows from yesterday still ring in my ears, but Yihan, why are you leaving me in the blink of an eye?!

After riding for about an hour, I finally saw a man in a blue robe with silver hair walking alone down the slope ahead. His tall, upright figure and aloof, indifferent aura were so familiar, as if pulling me back in time to more than a decade ago.

It was on the official road of the Water Mist Kingdom. A man in blue robes moved with effortless grace among the officials who oppressed the people. In the blink of an eye, everyone was lying on the ground. Only he stood alone in the cool breeze, his robes fluttering. Despite the bloodshed and the chilling atmosphere, I only felt beauty then—a pure and serene beauty.

As if sensing something, Yi Han, who was walking ahead, suddenly turned around. I met those long-unseen pure black eyes, and my vision blurred. I could no longer suppress the pain all over my body, and I rolled off the horse.

The expected pain didn't come; instead, I landed in a familiar, cool embrace. Yi Han landed firmly, holding me tightly in his arms, and roared uncontrollably, "Are you out of your mind?!"

I jerked my head back and broke free from his embrace, staggering as I glared at him: "Yes! I don't want it anymore!!"

Yi Han's eyes darkened, and he gently stroked my face, saying in a hoarse voice, "I didn't let them tell you that I left a letter and ran away because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to bring myself to leave like this."

I still said goodbye. Standing before him, battered and bruised, he still cruelly said goodbye! I bit my lower lip tightly, wanting to ask, why leave me at a time like this? Why leave me when I'm in the most pain and helpless? But the words caught in my throat, and I couldn't utter a sound.

Yi Han reached out and gently held my lips, preventing me from biting too hard: "Young Master, from the moment I agreed to follow you, have I ever left you for even a moment?"

I was slightly taken aback. Yi Han continued, "In fact, for more than ten years, we have never truly been separated. You have become accustomed to my protection, and I have become accustomed to thinking of everything with you at the forefront."

“Xu Lie, he’s dead!” Yi Han said in a slightly hoarse voice, word by word: “Because he’s dead, he’s left a wound in your heart. If I’m by your side day and night watching that wound fester and spread until it scabs over, then one day, your wound will transfer to my heart and become an irreparable rift between us.”

I trembled slightly, unconsciously grasping his arm, my cold fingertips touching his cold skin. We were both trembling. I whispered, "Yihan, don't... go..."

Yi Han gently pulled me into his arms, channeling his inner energy to envelop me in his familiar warmth: "Lin Yu, I know you love me, and you've never been fickle about our relationship. Yet you still can't make a choice, can't easily let go. Because for you, that's the world that truly belongs to you. No matter how many storms we've weathered, no matter how unforgettable our love was, it never felt as real to you as that short few months of marriage. That's why he could hold your heart so tightly; that's why his death could break you so completely."

"Lin Cong, I'm not a saint. I also feel jealousy, anger, and despair." Yi Han released me, giving a bitter smile. "You can't even imagine how much I cherish you, how much I cherish our relationship..."

"You think I don't cherish it?!" I felt a suffocating pain in my heart, as if fine, densely packed thorns were tightly constricting my throat. "You clearly said you wouldn't let go of my hand, you clearly said it would be forever..."

"Three years!" Yi Han suddenly interrupted me. "Lin Yu, let's give each other three years!"

I trembled, staring blankly at him. Yi Han gripped my hands tightly, interlocking our fingers, his voice clear and resolute, yet tinged with a barely perceptible tenderness: "Lin Yu, I've never told you that I don't love that lofty yet cold imperial throne. When I descended Wuji Mountain, I told myself that I wanted to travel the world, like a free-spirited cloud or a wild crane, flying freely in the sky. I don't want to learn those power struggles and conspiracies; I only want to immerse myself in nature, to explore the highest peak of martial arts in the purest and cleanest way."

I abruptly covered my mouth, as if my cold hands were tearing at my heart: This was the first time Yihan had spoken of his dreams, the first time he had revealed his deepest desires—those dreams and longings he had personally crushed because of me. Why did I always forget how much he had sacrificed for me, how much he had given…

“Lin Yu,” Yi Han’s eyes flashed with pain and pity, and he suddenly hugged me tightly, his voice hoarse, “I have never regretted staying by your side, never. When you first kissed my lips, do you know how happy I was? When you said that as long as we could love each other, I didn’t care if the heavens and the earth destroyed us, do you know how moved I was? Lin Yu, neither of us has ever given up anything for the other, we have just followed our hearts.”

My stiff, cold body finally softened, and I wrapped my arms around him, clinging to him like a child, as if that would keep him from leaving. I choked out, "So this time, your heart has chosen to leave me?"

Yi Han's body stiffened slightly, but he finally said decisively, "Yes!"

I felt ice-cold all over, from head to toe, as despair and fear overwhelmed me. I tried to break free from his embrace, but Yi Han held me tightly, coldly saying, "Lin Yu, give me three years. Master, the Heavenly Star Flowing Sword Sect, Xing Hun's identity—I must settle things myself. As for you, I originally wanted to help you unify the world, but that was never my true wish. Even if we love each other deeply, your dream must be fulfilled by yourself."

Yi Han's words left me stunned. A sudden thought flashed through my mind, and I realized that I had been so overwhelmed by the fear of parting that I had not even noticed Yi Han's true intention in leaving.

Yi Han released me, gently stroking my face and smoothing my hair. He said softly, "Lin Yu, the wound Xu Lie left you needs time to heal. This wound is etched in your heart, and no one but yourself can heal it. I admit, I can't bear to see you suffer for another man, but I... will never let you go. So, I can only give you, and myself, time..."

The sound of horses' hooves came from afar; it must be Yunyan, worried, leading her people in pursuit.

Yi Han released my hand, his eyes filled with reluctance and longing, and took a step back: "The battlefield is ruthless, war is cruel, Lin Yu, you must protect yourself. If you die, I will never live alone; if you return to your own world, I will be reincarnated for thousands of years to find you!"

"Three years later, we meet here again." Yi Han's figure receded further and further away from me, each step he took seemed to leap several feet, yet his slightly trembling voice still clearly reached my ears, "Lin Yu, no matter where I am, I will never let go of your hand! For all eternity, I will never abandon you!"

Yunyan and Qinli finally came to my side and quietly stayed by my side, watching as Yihan's figure walked further and further away until it became a black dot and disappeared from my sight.

I gently clasped her hands together, my palms still seeming to retain the cool warmth of Yi Han. A three-year promise, three years of separation, though we are worlds apart, our hearts are close.

Yihan, is this what you wanted to tell me? Because I cherished our relationship too much, and because I couldn't bear the estrangement and mutual hurt that came from being so close yet so far, that's why I chose to leave.

Three years from now, will we be stronger? Three years from now, will we have achieved our respective dreams? Three years from now, will our longing and love still overflow?

I suddenly cupped my hands to my mouth and shouted down the slope where everyone had already vanished: "Yi-Han, I-love-you-!"

The cries of "Yihan," the repeated shouts of "I love you," and my own hoarse voice echoed again and again along the mountain road. Like the mournful cry of a cuckoo, poignant and beautiful; like the bugle call before a charge, carrying boundless faith and hope…

Chapter 49 Afterlife

I tried to synchronize the ancient and modern times, and the days passed by like this. The fetus is now over four months old, and my body has become very heavy. I feel tired and sleepy all the time. Sometimes I have a big appetite, and sometimes I can't eat anything at all.

Both sets of parents treated me like a deity, forbidding me from doing this or that. In those bitter and desperate days, this young life was the only tiny hope they struggled to cling to.

Zi Mo always spent a lot of time with me, discussing the situation on the continent of Yixiu and helping me formulate reasonable strategies. I knew he was trying to distract me and make me feel better. However, I still had nightmares every day. Xue'er's hideous face was almost a brand in my mind, always appearing along with Xu Lie's gentle and tender calls, weaving into my life and infiltrating my dreams.

After the hospital examination, Uncle Liu told Mr. and Mrs. Xu with great concern that he needed a relaxed environment to rest, otherwise long-term psychological stress would be very bad for the baby.

After much consideration, Mrs. Xu finally decided that I should move out of the Xu family home and stay at home for a while. I just smiled and didn't object. Demons are born in the heart and grow in the mind; how can they be eliminated simply by moving to a different place?

When I got home, I didn't have much to pack. I already had all my belongings and daily necessities at home, and the Xu family had even bought me many new ones. So I only needed to pack some personal books and other personal items before I could go back.

On Wednesday afternoon, the sun shone brightly, a rare treat in the cold winter, and the air was warm and cozy. Mr. and Mrs. Xu had both gone out, and I declined Huanjie's help, staying alone in my room. I drew all the curtains open, turned on my laptop, and played music on repeat before slowly starting to organize my things.

I had very little luggage, and before long, all my belongings on the desk and dressing table were almost gone. I stared blankly around the empty and large room, the sunlight streaming in from the window, warm and cozy, with dust motes dancing lightly in the air.