Awakening
The bright and quiet Western restaurant was quite crowded with diners as it was nearing noon, but this did not affect Cheng Yongxin's good mood. In fact, what she ate and the environment were irrelevant to her; what mattered was that she and Brother Jiang were eating "alone"!
Before, it was just a fantasy that filled her with endless longing. Now that her longing has become reality, how could she not be overjoyed?
"Yongxin, please order whatever you like, don't be shy." Jiang Chenjun said with a smile after being led to his seat by the waiter.
“Well…” Cheng Yongxin scanned the menu at lightning speed. Ribs? Oh no, that would be too unseemly. Steak? Absolutely not, a bunch of knives and forks, too unrefined. What if Brother Jiang misunderstands her as a rude girl? Ah, this is good. It has juice, bread, vegetable salad, and ice cream. Low in calories, and I can maintain perfect table manners—
She pointed her slender finger at the menu, "I'll take this one."
Jiang Chenjun looked at the dishes she ordered and couldn't help but smile. "You wouldn't admit it even if I told you you were a little girl. See, you've been exposed."
Exposure? Exposure of what? Cheng Yongxin inexplicably shifted her gaze to where the other woman was pointing, her face instantly turning red from her forehead to her neck. Right where the other woman was pointing, four words were clearly written—"Kids' Meal".
"No, no, I, I don't like kids' meals, I, I'm just saying..." she stammered, her face turning even redder.
What bad luck! The more she tries not to make mistakes, the more mistakes she makes. Why does she always embarrass herself in front of Brother Jiang?
“It’s okay. Liking the kids’ meal means you’re still a child at heart, which is great.” Jiang Chenjun smiled gently. “You and Xiaohan are really alike. She also likes the kids’ meal, and she even orders it on purpose. Every time I tell her she’s embarrassing, she doesn’t care.”
Xiaohan? Cheng Yongxin frowned in confusion, then understood. Her bright eyes dimmed, and her previous excitement vanished instantly.
Xiaohan... that's Jiang's girlfriend's name, right? I'm so envious of her. To be called that so affectionately by Jiang, to be loved by someone like that, must be the happiest thing in the world...
I really—really…envy…and envy her, that woman named "Xiaohan," how lucky she is to so easily win Brother Jiang's love. Unlike her, no matter how hard she tries to follow him, she still doesn't exist in his eyes…
"What's wrong? Why are you suddenly silent?" Jiang Chenjun was puzzled as to why she had suddenly fallen silent. "Don't be so polite with your brother Jiang. Eat more. Yongxin is too thin. Girls look better with a little bit of meat on their bones."
"Brother Jiang...you...you like the kind of chubby...girls?" Cheng Yongxin was stunned for a moment, looking at him with some unease.
Jiang Chenjun nodded frankly, "Yeah, don't you think chubby girls are cute? Ah, a pretty girl like Yongxin must pay a lot of attention to maintaining her figure, but it's okay to indulge occasionally. The tiramisu at this shop is very good, would you like some?"
"Okay, okay." Filled with regret, Cheng Yongxin had no time to pay attention to what Jiang Chenjun was saying. She was now hating herself for being so diligent in maintaining her figure. If she were a chubby girl, maybe Brother Jiang would—
No, no! She tapped her head. She had already decided to give up. Even if she tried her best to fatten herself up, she might not be able to reverse the established facts!
The food was served quickly. As if to make up for her past mistakes, Cheng Yongxin fought hard with the children's meal she had ordered, not caring about her image at all. Her mouth was stuffed full, and her chubby cheeks made her look like an adorable groundhog. Jiang Chenjun couldn't help but smile and reached out to wipe the cream off her lips and feet.
"Brother Jiang?" Startled by his intimate gesture, Cheng Yongxin almost choked on her mouthful of food, staring at him with wide eyes in confusion.
Jiang Chenjun smiled again, his eyes radiating warmth. "You can continue eating. I just think you girls are really cute when you eat."
Jiang Chenjun couldn't help but recall the first time he met that woman, her ravenous and unladylike eating habits, and his smile became exceptionally gentle.
Brother Jiang really does like chubby girls—Cheng Yongxin cried inwardly. Her uninhibited eating style had unexpectedly won him his favor. Waaah—what about all the elegant and perfect image she had painstakingly cultivated to win his favor before?!
"Here, have this too." Jiang Chenjun smiled and pushed his dessert towards her, seemingly pleased to see her enjoying it so much.
"...Thank you, Brother Jiang." Cheng Yongxin groaned inwardly. She didn't have a big appetite to begin with, and eating this much today was already a record. If she ate any more, she couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't throw up later. But who cares? Even if she felt uncomfortable from being so full, she absolutely couldn't refuse Brother Jiang's kindness!
Cheng Yongxin's seventh rule of love: Even if the sky falls, Brother Jiang's good intentions must never be disobeyed!
"Um... Brother Jiang—" Cheng Yongxin carefully began, trying to divide the small cakes on the plate into small pieces to slow down her eating.
"Hmm?" Jiang Chenjun still had a smile on his face, clearly in a good mood.
"What is Brother Jiang's girlfriend like?" After hesitating and pausing, she finally mustered all her strength to ask the question.
Jiang Chenjun smiled and reached out to ruffle her soft, shiny hair as usual. "Why is Yongxin suddenly so interested in Brother Jiang's girlfriend?"
"I...I...uh...just curious." She tried her best to act as if nothing was wrong, replying without blushing or panting, but her heart was already pounding like a drum.
She really wanted to know what kind of person Brother Jiang would like!
Although she had asked Jiang Haozhe before, however—
"Gentle, beautiful, generous, charming, polite, well-mannered, gentle, good-looking, tall and curvaceous, highly talented, well-educated, from a wealthy family, and with a clean background."
Faced with her question, Jiang Haozhe replied without looking up, adding coolly at the end: "Choose any of the adjectives in there; they're all suitable for her. Just accept your fate; you can't compare anyway."
She had to accept her fate! How could she just give up like that? Who was Cheng Yongxin? She was a tenacious woman who had relentlessly strived for love since she was eight years old! How could she so easily accept her fate without even knowing the true identity of her rival? Even if she had to give up, she had to do it clearly and decisively, not lose in a muddled way. Otherwise, she would die with regrets!
Jiang Chenjun was quite frank, perhaps feeling there was nothing to hide, “If we’re just talking about looks, she’s very average. She’s not as pretty as you, Yongxin, nor as tall. But she’s always very optimistic, and that kind of personality… I think it’s very cute.”
That's enough.
That's enough...
The phrase "heart turned to ashes" perfectly describes her current state of mind... Cheng Yongxin pinched her thigh hard, forcing the pain to stop the tears welling up in her eyes from spilling out.
Brother Jiang's answer was so frank that even if she wanted to deceive herself, it was impossible. Even just mentioning her made Brother Jiang smile so happily. No matter how stupid she was, she could see that there was absolutely no room for her to get involved...
Jiang Haozhe, although you told me not to give up, and I don't want to give up either, how can I not give up...?
She raised her face, a faint smile spreading across her face, a smile both ethereal and beautiful. "Well... Brother Jiang, congratulations! I hope you two will be happy."
"Thank you." Jiang Chenjun's smile was as gentle as ever, but in her eyes, there was no longer the excitement and joy of the past, only a heavy bitterness that swept over her like a tidal wave, engulfing her.
Today, on the 3,227th day of her unrequited love for him, her long-held affection has finally come to an end, and she has made her final decision—
The dream she had been pursuing for so long has ended, and shattered...
shake
rustling sound—
The cool water flowed down from above, washing away the heat from just finishing PE class. He reached out, turned off the tap, picked up a dry towel from the side to dry his wet hair, and pushed open the bathroom door. Jiang Haozhe raised his head somewhat heavily.
Since you can't let go, don't force yourself to... No one knows the outcome until the very end, right?
Why did he say those things? If he had been more ruthless then, and deliberately hurt her more, perhaps she could have truly given up on her older brother. But why...?
He was perhaps the person who understood her best among all the people she knew, because no one else's situation was more similar to hers in terms of feelings. Just as he was reluctant and unwilling to let go, how could she possibly give up her love of so many years? The way she looked at her elder brother was just like the way he looked at her. After so many years of waiting and anticipation, his gaze remained unchanged, even more fervent, and he longed for a response to his feelings. Even if there was no response, every time he saw her, every time they met, he felt so satisfied and gratified...
That's why he used the need to strengthen cooperation between the two schools for their anniversary celebrations as a pretext to try and get closer to her, to see her smile, her every move, and her ever-changing expressions. She probably will never know that her smile or her angry expression is so dazzling and mesmerizing in his eyes, like a magnet firmly attracting everyone's attention.
He knew, of course, how much effort she had put into being worthy of her older brother, but she didn't know how much thought he had put into watching over her.
She would never know that next to the piano room where she received her lessons was the violin practice room he had specially requested from his teacher; she would never know that he secretly followed behind her every morning during her run; she would never know that he silently accompanied her across the room every night while she read, until he saw the light in her room go out...
She liked her older brother's composure, so he didn't try too hard to control his emotions and make himself seem calm and trustworthy.
She admired her older brother's excellence, so he was unwilling to settle for mediocrity and, from childhood to adulthood, he was undeniably outstanding and dazzling.
The way he is today is largely due to her influence. However, after entering high school, he realized that no matter how much he imitated his older brother, he would never be the older brother in her heart, let alone have the same status as him. Therefore, when facing her, he would always deliberately make things difficult for her, making sarcastic remarks and completely abandoning his usual good manners. But he knew that he could only do this to make her realize his existence.
But no matter how hard he tried, he still didn't exist in her heart. In her mind, he was just someone she needed to curry favor with, her future brother-in-law... In this situation, what else could he do? What more could he possibly do?
Jiang Haozhe, you idiot...
He raised the corners of his lips, revealing a faint, self-deprecating smile.
You tried everything, but still received no response from her. In fact, she regarded you as an enemy and avoided you like the plague. Was this a success or a failure?
Bang--
A loud bang shattered his reverie as the door was roughly pushed open. He instinctively looked up, then froze.
"Mo... Zijin?"
It took him a while to recognize the person who rushed in angrily. Because he had run so fast, Mo Zijing's hair was messy and disheveled, completely unlike his usual lazy and leisurely self, and he looked rather disheveled.
"Who is this person?!"
Mo Zijing rushed in and started yelling at people.
"If you're going to act crazy, go to a mental hospital yourself. Don't embarrass yourself by coming to the student council." Jiang Haozhe's tone remained calm. Although Mo Zijing's mental instability had been going on for a while, she seemed to be acting particularly erratically today.
Ha... What's wrong with this world? Yongxin has become strange. He, who was always calm and composed, has also lost his composure. And now there's another one... It seems the world has really gone mad.
"This person! This person!" Mo Zijing's expression changed with excitement. She held a photo in both hands in front of him, her voice almost hysterical, "Who is this person?!"
Jiang Haozhe stared at the photo in his hand, bewildered. With just a glance, he understood, and his heart sank.
"It's Cheng Yongxin. What, you don't recognize her? Aren't you pursuing her?" He pretended not to understand and deliberately gave a distorted explanation.
"Who asked you that! I was asking about this man!" Mo Zijing seemed to be greatly shocked, her fingers were even trembling.
This time, Jiang Haozhe didn't even bother to lift his head. "My brother."
"W-What?! Your brother?!" Mo Zijing stared wide-eyed, clearly having trouble processing the answer. "Why...why is she with your brother...and with that expression on her face?!"
That expression...
That's right. Her smile was so radiant that anyone could immediately tell it was the smile of a girl in love for her beloved. At least, Yongxin had never smiled like that in front of him before. Her smile was so joyful, so unrestrained, as if she were radiating light, making it impossible to look away...
“That’s normal, because she likes my brother.” He smiled coldly, trying to hide the unspeakable loneliness and bitterness in his heart.
"What?!?!?!" Mo Zijing seemed to have been struck by lightning. His previous high spirits and confidence deflated like a balloon with a hole.
"...She actually likes your brother, so what's the point of me pursuing her...?"
Although his eyes remained focused on Mo Zijing's photo, Jiang Haozhe did not ignore his mutterings. He raised an eyebrow, his voice carrying a dangerous undertone:
"What do you mean?"
"...Since she doesn't like you, and you don't like her...then how can my pursuit of her achieve the goal of hurting you..." Mo Zijing's thoughts were still immersed in the blow of Jiang Haozhe's simple statement, "She likes my brother," and she was completely unaware of what she was saying.
"What did you say?!" Jiang Haozhe was truly angry. He could ignore Mo Zijin's usual sarcastic remarks and rivalry, but dragging Yongxin into this for this reason was something he could not forgive!
"I, I, I..." Finally realizing what she had said, Mo Zijing was unusually short of breath in front of Jiang Haozhe.
"What? Huh?" Jiang Haozhe's face darkened, and the intimidating aura made him almost afraid to look back.
"Anyway...anyway—that's just how it is!!"
After saying that, Mo Zijing turned and ran away, leaving Jiang Haozhe alone, watching her retreating figure and shaking his head.
That guy actually ran away crying like a child. What did he think he was, a child? Jiang Haozhe always felt overwhelmed by his extremely emotional vice president. Looking at the photos that Mo Zijing had brought earlier again, he realized that the photos had actually been taken secretly.
"Who does this guy think he is? 007?" he scoffed. This guy actually went to take pictures secretly!
I shook my head, wanting to put the photo down, but I was unconsciously drawn to the smile of the person in the picture.
The girl he had chosen was so happy in front of his brother. He had never seen her so happy since he had known her, and she was looking at him with such focus... as if no one else existed, gazing at him wholeheartedly, as if simply looking at him made her happy...
Since you can't let go, don't force yourself to... No one knows the outcome until the very end, right?
These were the words he said to her that day, and also to himself. But faced with such a smile, did he still have the confidence to maintain this feeling without wavering?
Knowing that what you are seeking is a love that will never be reciprocated, how can you guarantee that your feelings will remain unchanged?