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Chapitre 27

Another month passed, and Chen Kai was about to take his final exams, but Fei Xiao still hadn't returned. The city was now covered in a blanket of white snow. For some reason, every time Chen Kai saw this white, he felt a pang of sadness. Even the world around him seemed to constantly remind him of everything about Fei Xiao—that cold, beautiful, and detached color.

"Professor Wang, I need to talk to you!" Professor Wang, who was engrossed in his work in the history department, was awakened from his piles of historical materials by a voice.

He looked up and saw a student standing at the door wearing a black down jacket. He was tall and thin, his nose was red from the cold, and his glasses were fogged up. "It's Chen Kai!" Professor Wang said to him with a smile.

"Yes!" Chen Kai said as he walked in, took off his glasses, wiped them, and put them in his bag. "I want to ask you something!"

"Go ahead and ask!" Professor Wang glanced at him again. "But you can't ask about the final exam questions!"

"Professor Wang, when you first met me, didn't you say that I was followed by a little fox?" Chen Kai asked anxiously, as this was his last hope of contacting Fei Xiao.

"Yes!" Professor Wang said, adjusting his thick glasses, which were clipped to his face like the bottom of a bottle, and looked closely at Chen Kai. "It's still following behind you!"

"Really? Let me see!" Chen Kai was thrilled. Did this mean Fei Xiao had never forgotten him and was still trying to protect him? He reached out and snatched Professor Wang's glasses from his face.

"Oh my! Why is this young man so excited?" Professor Wang was startled by his sudden action.

Chen Kai couldn't wait to put on Professor Wang's glasses. He felt the world blur in an instant. The glasses were not only heavily prescription, but also very dirty, covered in dust, and hadn't been cleaned in a long time.

"Mirror, where is the mirror?" Chen Kai waved his hands wildly as he reached for the mirror, wanting to see if there was anything really following him.

"Here, take this!" Professor Wang quickly handed him a small mirror, about the size of his palm: "It's a bit small, you'll have to look carefully to see it!"

Chen Kai held up the small, dirty mirror, just like his glasses, and carefully looked at what was reflected in it. As he looked, he suddenly felt a lump in his throat and tears welled up in his eyes.

Through the blurry lens, in the small mirror, Chen Kai could see a small, snow-white fox crouching at his feet, leisurely licking its paws. That white, a white he hadn't seen in so long, suddenly made Chen Kai feel a pang of sadness.

It was Fei Xiao, that's how he looked when he turned into a fox. It seems he had been following him around in some way all along, never forgetting him.

"Chen Kai, Chen Kai! What's wrong with you?" Professor Wang squinted, unable to see clearly, but he could still sense that something was wrong with Chen Kai.

"No, nothing!" Chen Kai said, taking off his glasses and handing the mirror back to Professor Wang. He bowed to him and said, "I'm leaving, Professor Wang!"

"Hey, don't panic. What did you see?" Professor Wang asked him as he rushed out as if his life depended on it.

"I saw it!" Chen Kai waved as he ran, "My best friend!" His figure disappeared into the dark corridor in a moment.

He saw Feixiao again, though it was just a fox's shadow. He was still very happy, and tears streamed down his face. The white snow outside seemed to transform into Feixiao's peach blossom face in the spring breeze, filling his heart with joy and heart-wrenching pain. Yes, as long as he was alive, they could meet again. As long as he was alive... Thinking of this, he suddenly felt that this winter was not so cold after all.

"Feixiao! I'm waiting for you, I'll always wait for you to come back!" He shouted loudly into the snow, his tears cool and wet, but he was completely unaware of it.

"Hey, Chen Kai, what are you doing?" Someone suddenly called him from behind, it was a girl's voice.

"No, I didn't do anything!" Chen Kai suddenly felt embarrassed and quickly wiped away the tears on his face.

"Why are you throwing a tantrum on the playground when you haven't done anything wrong!" It was Du Juan from Class One. She was wearing a pink cotton coat, which looked especially pretty and charming against the backdrop of the white snow.

"I... I just remembered a good friend of mine!" Chen Kai felt his face turn red all the way to his neck.

"You!" Du Juan chuckled again, "You're always so funny, even last night!"

Chen Kai could hardly believe his ears. "Last night? I went to bed very early last night and didn't go out at all!"

"How could that be!" Du Juan said, walking towards the school supermarket. "It's not like I was alone. Lots of people saw it, and they even spoke in such a formal, literary way. It's nothing like you!"

"But I really didn't go out!" Chen Kai recalled everything from last night. He did feel very tired and went to bed early, just after nine o'clock. And then, it seemed that he still felt very tired when he woke up this morning, as if he hadn't rested at all last night, but he clearly hadn't even had a dream!

"Chen Kai!" Du Juan said, turning back to smile at him. "When you miss someone and it's unbearable, write it in your diary. That's what I do. Writing down my thoughts makes me feel much better!"

"That's something only girls do, I wouldn't be that stupid!" Chen Kai scoffed.

"Ugh, you! Someone's offering you advice and you say that!" Du Juan rolled her eyes at him. "I'm going shopping. You have fun by yourself!"

"Then go ahead!" Chen Kai smiled and waved to her, but when he lowered his hand, he felt sad that he was alone again.

"Write in your diary when you miss someone!" Chen Kai thought about Du Juan's words, and thought that this might be a good idea.

He decided to go to another supermarket to buy a notebook; he didn't want Du Juan to see it and make fun of him again.

He walked along the snow-covered road towards the outside of the campus. Although the weather was cold, the sun was shining brightly. He looked back as he walked, but behind him there was only his own shadow and the white snow. Looking at his lonely shadow, he sighed deeply. It seemed that only through Professor Wang's dirty glasses could he see that snow-white fox.

Before he knew it, he had arrived at a large supermarket next to the school. He went in and headed straight for the stationery section.

A dazzling array of notebooks were displayed on the high-priced shelves, almost overwhelming. Chen Kai stood in front of the hundred or so notebooks, unsure which one to choose. People say that too many choices are no choice at all, and that is truly a wise saying.

Suddenly, his eyes were drawn to a notebook in the corner. It was clearly an old, used notebook, yet it was placed inside a new notebook.

He reached for the notebook, an old diary with a cute little white rabbit drawn on the pink cover. The pages were yellowed, but one could imagine that its owner must have been a young girl.

Chen Kai held the notebook, a warm smile on his lips. It seemed that this was another heartbroken person discarding something that held their emotions. Du Juan was right; writing in a diary when missing someone seemed to be a way for many people to alleviate their longing.

He opened the pink cover with a hint of curiosity, hoping to find some tender romance inside. But as soon as he saw the words on the title page, he slammed the diary shut, his face turning pale instantly.

Chen Kai hurriedly picked out a sturdy diary from the shelves, stuffed the one with the fan-print cover back in, and rushed to the cashier to pay, as if he were running away.

When Chen Kai went outside, he felt as if he had been frightened. His heart was pounding in his chest. The cold wind outside finally calmed his feverish mind. He looked back at the supermarket, which was bustling with people and a prosperous scene.

Maybe it was just a prank, but it just so happened that someone as timid as me encountered it.

On the title page of that diary

Someone wrote a few lines of text in red ink:

My mother lied to me

My father killed me

My sister left me my bones

Hanging on my chest.

When Chen Kai got home, it was already dark. He took out his key and opened the door, but the house was still deserted and empty. Fei Xiao still hadn't returned.

Chen Kai cooked a little food for himself and then sat down at his dimly lit desk to start writing in his diary.

But holding the pen, he didn't know how to write. All the memories of Feixiao in the past played out before his eyes like a movie. Feixiao's white clothes, Feixiao's long black hair, Feixiao's cunning expression kept appearing in front of him, but he just couldn't put pen to paper. It was as if he had a thousand words in his heart but couldn't find a place to pour them out.

Finally, I only wrote in my notebook: It's a nice day, just a bit cold. But I saw Feixiao in Professor Wang's glasses. I miss her so much. I wonder where she is now? When will she come back?

He had only written two sentences when his eyes began to feel heavy. Lately, he had been feeling very tired for some reason. He looked at the clock above his head; it wasn't even nine o'clock yet. But Chen Kai simply couldn't hold on any longer and collapsed onto the bed, falling asleep immediately.

The diary lay flat on the table, its surface gleaming dimly under the lamplight.

He woke up the next day at noon, because he didn't set an alarm since he didn't have classes in the morning.

Chen Kai rubbed his dizzy head and looked at his watch: Good heavens, it's already 11:30! He had actually slept for more than twelve hours.

He stretched, but still felt exhausted, as if he hadn't slept at all last night.

After packing his things to catch his afternoon class, Chen Kai's eyes fell on the open diary on the table. He thought he should take it with him, in case Fei Xiao came back and saw it and made fun of him.

Chen Kai was about to stuff the brand-new notebook into his schoolbag when he froze upon seeing it. There was an extra line of text below what he had written the night before, written in small, vertical characters:

I am Wang Zijin, and now I share a body with you. This world is so different from before!

I have seen pines and cypresses felled for firewood, and heard of mulberry fields turned into seas. Year after year the flowers are similar, but year after year the people are different.

Upon reading this line, Chen Kai felt as if a thunderclap had struck his mind. What was going on? What was happening? Why was Wang Zijin back? And why did he say they shared a body?

He suddenly felt that these things were terrifying, so he abandoned the notebook and fled the house.

Sitting in the crowded classroom, looking at the bustling classmates listening to the lecture, Chen Kai finally regained his composure. What he had just seen must have been an illusion. That must be it!

Before he could figure it out, someone suddenly patted him on the shoulder, and Chen Kai screamed in fright.

"What's wrong with you!" It was Liang Dong's gruff voice.

"It's nothing, you just gave me a fright!" Chen Kai breathed a long sigh of relief when he saw it was him.

Liang Dong looked at him, a suggestive smile suddenly appearing on his face: "How many pretty girls did you meet last night?"

"What girl?" Chen Kai didn't understand what he was talking about. "I went to bed very early yesterday!"

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Liang Dong suddenly exclaimed, seemingly disliking his hypocritical manner. "We clearly attended the dance party for those who are bad at dancing together yesterday!" He then mimicked someone's tone, saying, "Oh dear, everyone's just a bunch of ordinary girls. It seems that no matter the era, true beauties are always a minority! Isn't that what you said?"

Chen Kai saw that he was performing like a clown, acting all by himself, and still couldn't remember whether he had gone out or not.

"You're still as funny as ever. Even last night, you were speaking so formally, it wasn't like you at all!"

Du Juan's words from yesterday echoed in his ears again, along with the two passages he found in his diary this morning. They kept replaying in his mind. When he saw the teacher arrive, he trembled as he took his textbook out of his bag. Could it be that Wang Zijin really had returned? And that he only appeared in his body while he was sleeping? None of this could be real, it couldn't be!

He started flipping through the books on the table, and as soon as he did, he screamed "Wow!" as if he'd seen a ghost, startling the classmate sitting next to him.

That book, the textbook I took with me when I left home, has somehow turned into a pink diary with a cute little white rabbit drawn on it, and the cover pages are a bit yellowish.

"What's wrong with you!" The classmate next to him rolled his eyes at him unhappily.

"No, it's nothing!" Chen Kai replied, but his eyes remained fixed on the notebook, cold sweat dripping down his body. The events of yesterday afternoon at the supermarket resurfaced in his mind—those shocking words, those yellowed pages. He had clearly stuffed it back onto the shelf, so how could it be reappearing in front of him now?

What on earth is going on today? All these strange things are happening at once? This diary, Liang Dong's words, Wang Zijin's handwriting—he's been tormented to the point of breathlessness. He can't hear a word the teacher is saying on the podium. He finally made it to the end of class, and dazedly left the classroom. The diary was still on his desk; he didn't take it, nor did he dare to!

I absolutely cannot go home today. I need to find a place where I can stay up all night and see how I will fare, and see if Wang Zijin will really show up.

Where should he go? It was only a little past three o'clock, but it was already getting late. Before he could figure it out, a woman rushed out from the side and pounced on Chen Kai: "Where's my notebook? Is my notebook with you?!"

"What are you talking about?" Chen Kai was lost in thought when she startled him.

The woman was probably in her early twenties, dressed very elegantly, like an office worker in a building. But now she seemed to have lost all her composure; her round eyes were glaring, and her face, heavily made up, made her expression somewhat ferocious. She kept shouting to Chen Kai, "A pink diary with little white rabbits drawn on it! That's something my sister left me!"

"I...I put it on the desk in the classroom!" Chen Kai breathed a sigh of relief. At least someone had come to claim that terrible diary.

"Which classroom? Take me there quickly!" the woman said, stepping into the school with Chen Kai in her high heels.

"Chen Kai, you're here!" Just then, a person waving a notebook came towards him; it was Liang Dong.

"What's wrong?" Chen Kai looked at the notebook in his hand, a bad feeling creeping over him. He hoped that the man hadn't looked at what was inside.

"You're really something, leaving your notebook on the table and walking away during class!" Liang Dong chuckled and shoved the notebook into his hand. "Don't be so careless next time, bro!" He then waved and left.

"That's it! This is my notebook!" The woman lunged forward and snatched the diary away.

Chen Kai was displeased by her rude manner: "I know it's yours, take it!" But he regretted it as soon as he finished speaking, because the woman in front of him, who was several years older than him, actually started crying while holding the tattered notebook.

"Hey! Don't do that!" Chen Kai suddenly felt embarrassed; he had never made a woman cry before.

The woman cried for a while, wiped away her tears, and smiled at Chen Kai: "No, I'm just so happy, how can I thank you?"

When she smiled, Chen Kai realized that she was indeed a very beautiful woman; it was just that her expression had been so fierce that no one had noticed this.

Chen Kai looked at her, tilted his head and thought for a moment: "I haven't been feeling well lately, and I want to confirm something. Can you take me somewhere where I don't have to sleep all night?"

"Hehehe!" The woman glanced at Chen Kai and chuckled. "Although I don't know if you're telling the truth, I'm quite familiar with places like this. Let's go to a bar!"

"Okay, alright!" Chen Kai said, and followed her.

It was already getting dark when the woman hailed a taxi, told the driver her a destination, and the driver took them away.

The neon lights on the street gradually lit up, illuminating the darkness, as if dressing the city in a colorful robe.