Kaiserinwitwe Xiaoxuan

Kapitel 5

That evening, I had a simple dinner out, returned to the hotel, took a shower, and watched some TV programs on channels whose logos I didn't recognize. When the clock struck 10, having nothing else to do, I decided to go to bed early for the first time ever, when I heard a knock on the door.

I could tell from the cat's eyes that Lin Cui's expression was solemn and unusual. I quickly ushered her into the house, poured her some water, and asked her to sit down.

Lin Cui didn't speak immediately, seemingly considering her words. Seeing the somewhat tense atmosphere, I spoke first: "I remember reading a story in Wang Xiaobo's book about a man in an Arab country who visited his friend's house late at night. His friend immediately rose, donned armor, held a money bag in his left hand and a sword in his right, and said to him: 'My friend, your visit at this late hour must have a reason. If you owe someone a debt, I will repay it for you; if someone has insulted you, I will avenge you; if you are simply bored on this quiet night, I have beautiful female slaves here for your amusement.'"

Hearing me tell this story in such a serious tone, Lin Cui chuckled, "You men just can't shake the habit of treating women like commodities."

“Where is it?” I argued. “That’s not the point. This story is about friendship. Wang Xiaobo quoted this story to say that this is how friends should be. And how should one respond when a friend visits late at night to show true loyalty?”

"And what about me? Do you consider me a friend?"

"Of course," I answered readily.

"So, how do you plan to receive me?"

"Well," I said, feigning a thoughtful pause, "since we're confidantes, things have to be different. I've thought about it. Usually, in this situation, I'd just put on my workout clothes, grab my credit card in one hand and a brick in the other, and say, 'If you're having trouble making ends meet, here's my salary card; if someone bullies you, I'll go beat them up right now; if you're just having trouble sleeping, I wouldn't mind warming your bed for you…'"

"Pah!" Lin Cui was amused by me and laughed reproachfully. "Seriously, do you know why I came to see you so late?"

I shook my head and waited for her to continue.

Lin Cui remained silent for a moment, then spoke in an unexpected way: "I moved to this place before Nuonuo started kindergarten. I've always had a very good relationship with his family; you could say I watched him grow up."

At first, I didn't notice anything special about her. She often came to my house to play, and I thought she was very cute, without any of the typical childish quirks or bad habits. Back then, I loved drinking juice, so I bought a juicer, and sometimes when she came over, I would make juice for her. But she always resisted when I made watermelon juice or tomato juice. I didn't think much of it at the time, but later I realized…

“She’s afraid of blood!” I interjected.

"Yes, she's afraid of blood. But that alone isn't enough to confirm it. I first knew for sure when she was in first grade. The school had a blood test, and she fainted on the spot. Her mother brought her home. I happened to be off that day, and when I saw her come home, I specifically asked her why, so I'm absolutely sure I'm not mistaken."

I fell silent, recalling the day I visited Lin Cui's house and encountered Nuonuo, who had fallen and scraped her skin. The little girl's behavior at the time clearly showed she had no concept of even fainting at the sight of blood.

“I’ve also wondered if there’s something wrong with my memory,” Lin Cui said before I brought it up. “I’ve also wondered if someone… or something else has completely changed my memory? Is there something wrong with my brain, like when you save a game by the wrong digit and it becomes a different progress?”

I've thought about this carefully these past few days, and I've discovered that my memories before falling into the water are completely coherent, detailed, and specific. I remember what I should remember, and what I'm vague about is vague, with nothing unnatural about them. If there were a problem with my memory, it would be unreasonable to say that I've changed so much about things from the past ten years.

I've never had the chance to tell you about my memories of Tie Niu, nor have I mentioned why I fell into the water. Now I've thought it all through, and the memories are crystal clear. Whether others say I'm mentally unstable, or that I'm making things up and spreading alarmist stories, I'm not afraid anymore. I'm confident that what I'm saying is something I truly experienced and remember. The reason I'm only telling you this is because I believe that when I no longer hesitate or fear, and tell you everything honestly, you will believe me, right?

At this point, Lin Cui paused, awaiting my reply. Looking into those clear and resolute eyes, I couldn't detect any of the fanatical, delusional tendencies of someone with delusions. Since meeting Lin Cui, I had slowly come to believe there was more to the story. So when Lin Cui asked for my answer, I nodded firmly without hesitation.

Lin Cui smiled with relief and continued, "The Iron Ox I remember was discovered during the major overhaul in 1992. The scene of its discovery was the same as the scene of 'this discovery' that you relayed to me. It was on the eve of the river closure when a metallic reaction was suddenly detected. With the successful closure, it emerged from the water."

Why were no abnormalities detected in the discovered waterway before? Why are there almost no traces of siltation? Why does the iron ox look brand new? These are the same questions you have now.

Because these questions remain unresolved, scholars from both the fields of water conservancy and archaeology have conducted detailed studies on the iron ox, including thorough measurements, laboratory analyses, and investigations of historical data. However, no conclusions have yet been reached to answer these questions.

Since 1992, the institute has never given up exploring these questions. The first set of numbers I memorized after joining the institute was the length, width, and height of this iron ox.

Although the questions remain unanswered, the fact that the iron ox was salvaged is nonetheless exciting news and a significant archaeological achievement. Therefore, under the arrangement of the municipal government, the iron ox was placed on the riverbank as a historical site for public viewing and has become a tourist attraction.

Over the years, I've gone to the riverbank many times to quietly gaze at that iron ox, imagining the scene when it was cast. I've also taken photos with it more than once.

"The photos!" I almost jumped up. "Where are all those photos now?!"

Lin Cui shook her head. "I flipped through the photo album, and the picture that should be in the section with Tie Niu is this one."

I took the photo Lin Cui handed me and discovered that it was indeed taken in Dujiangyan, but the people in the photo were Lin Cui and a blond young man with a high nose and deep-set eyes. The two looked intimate, with the young man's arm around Lin Cui's waist, and she seemed very happy.

Lin Cui gave a wry smile. "I asked around, and they said he was my boyfriend, an international student at Southwest University. We dated for two years, and then he went back to Germany to become a pastor. They also said I cried a lot back then, and no one could comfort me..."

I frowned and asked her, "Is it true?"

“How could that be? I don’t know this person at all.” Lin Cui’s voice sounded helpless. “I even thought someone was playing a joke on me, so I took this photo to a professional to see if it was computer-generated. But they said it was developed using normal methods, and sure enough, the negative was found at home later.”

I examined the film under the light, a perfunctory check, as if to confirm it. As for this fictitious German boyfriend, I seemed to wish he didn't exist even more than Lin Cui.

The air conditioner made a slight noise, and the curtains covered the entire window. In the instant that neither of us spoke, I suddenly had an extremely unreal feeling about this room.

I suddenly asked, "And what about me? How much do you remember about me?"

"You..." Lin Cui hesitated for a moment. In that brief instant of her hesitation, I felt incredibly nervous. If a photo proved that her boyfriend, with whom she had indeed taken a picture, would disappear from her memory, what about me? What would I be like in her memory? Would there be things I didn't know about? I couldn't help but think of a VCD I watched recently, "Genesis," where Ada Choi lost her memory after a car accident, and poor Louis Koo lost his girlfriend. I wondered if such a thing could happen in real life in reverse?

Lin Cui's words immediately dispelled my wild thoughts: "I remember meeting you at the long-distance bus station in Zhendian, Chuanzhong." Seeing me nod, she continued, "That was two days before the official start of the annual repair and closure. After you arrived in the city, you went straight back to the hotel, and the next day you went to see Old Yu."

So far everything is correct, I nodded and asked, "Do you remember what you said to me the day you picked me up?"

"What did you say..." Lin Cui lowered her head and thought for a moment, "Oh, you asked me if I specialize in reception work, I wonder if that could be considered an indirect compliment to my appearance..."

I smiled to myself, thinking that she still remembered this.

"Later, I also explained to you the annual maintenance plan, why we used the ancient method of intercepting the flow, and how the flow was intercepted..."

I interrupted her, "Do you remember what you told me back then, that the relevant parties were really looking forward to salvaging the Iron Ox this time?"

Lin Cui frowned deeply, sighed, and said in a calm voice, "In my memory, you and I came to the riverbank together that day, and we saw Tie Niu together. You even took pictures... You also asked me to stand with Tie Niu for a photo, but I refused..."

I quickly pulled out my camera. "Look closely, was this photo taken with this camera?"

Lin Cui gestured for me not to rush, "I understand you must remember that it's different from mine, and you definitely don't have that picture of Tie Niu. Everything was wrong from the very beginning."

I fell silent, deep in thought. It seemed that Lin Cui's memories of everything related to Tie Niu differed from everyone else's. Even my own recent arrival—a complete stranger she'd only met by chance—was different in the details except for the parts concerning Tie Niu. This easily led one to suspect that the whole affair was a conspiracy involving Tie Niu. However, the German boyfriend and Nuonuo, who suffered from hemophobia, seemed utterly unrelated to Tie Niu…

Seeing my expression, Lin Cui said, "I know you're thinking that all of this has a lot to do with Tie Niu. I think so too. Now I'm going to tell you what I remember about what happened that night."

I knew that the night she was talking about was the night before the merger, the night she got drunk. Hearing the seriousness in her voice, I straightened up and listened to her as if facing a formidable enemy.

That night, it rained heavily...

My heart skipped a beat. I was prepared to hear a completely different "fact," but I didn't expect such a huge difference in the very first sentence: I remember that night the sky was clear and the moon was bright.

Lin Cui continued, "I suddenly felt like going to the riverbank to see if the rain would affect the damming. Although the weather forecast said the rainfall would only be moderate, the weather at the time was torrential, and it showed no signs of stopping. If this continues, it is very likely that the damming will have to be postponed."

“I came to the riverbank, and there was no one there. The water level looked quite high, and the iron ox’s shadow looked particularly lonely on the bank. At that moment, I suddenly felt that I was very similar to that iron ox, also all alone, standing alone in such heavy rain.”

"With that thought in mind, I naturally walked towards Tie Niu..."

At this point, I interrupted Lin Cui, "How is the iron ox placed there? Is it accessible to just anyone?"

"Yes, it's placed by the riverbank, without railings or any kind of canopy—because no one can carry away such a large iron ox. It's not a bronze ox, and no one would smash it and sell it for money. If it weren't in the open, the visual effect would be greatly diminished. Originally, the plan was to place the iron ox on the newly repaired fish mouth as a 'suppression' measure. But this is a genuine cultural relic, and doing so would be risky and inconvenient for future relocation."

"In short, in my memory, the Iron Ox was something that could be approached at will, so tourists could take photos with it very casually."

"That night, as I walked up to Tie Niu, I heard a deafening sound of water."

At this point, Lin Cui looked up at me. I could still see a lingering fear in her eyes.

“At the time, I didn’t understand what was happening before I was swallowed by the water. Looking back now, it was the difference in water level caused by the weirs that had been lowered into the river before the weirs were closed. Under the continuous impact of the heavy rain, the weirs were finally broken, and the water level in the inland river suddenly surged and spread to the banks… From today’s perspective, this was a flood peak that the Minjiang River rarely sees in decades. I also thought that this was a bit of an exaggeration, but it is an undeniable fact.”

"I was terrified at the time. The only thing I could think of was to hold on to something and not let go, I must never let go."

"As you can guess from this, the thing I grabbed was the Iron Ox. I remember being swept ashore by the water and had to hold on tightly to its horns, probably because that was the most convenient spot, plus I was afraid of getting pricked by it."

"Then I lost consciousness, and when I woke up, that was when you rescued me."

"I know I've been unconscious for a long time, but I just can't believe I've been unconscious all night. If I'd been in the water the whole time, wouldn't I have drowned long ago?"

I took a deep breath. Only now did I truly understand what had happened in Lin Cui's world, and what she had gone through these past few days—a torrential downpour in the dead of night, a rare flood peak, a near-drowning incident, grabbing onto a metal ox to survive, only to be rescued the next day near noon; everything changed from then on. Everyone said they had faced ten years of hardship, and the metal ox she had grabbed to survive in that critical moment had just been salvaged; the neighbor's little sister who inexplicably recovered from hemophobia; a boyfriend who was fictitious yet had photographic evidence; being sent to a mental hospital because of "memory abnormalities"; and now the only person she could trust was a reporter she had known for less than a month who was only interested in gossip.

Lin Cui said nothing more, just looked at me. I couldn't find the right words for a moment, and after a long silence, I asked her, "What are your plans now?"

"Find out the truth." Lin Cui answered without the slightest hesitation, and her face seemed to have changed, appearing more resolute and determined than ever before.

She continued, "I've also wondered if I'm being too persistent, too fixated on the so-called truth? After this happened, my life hasn't really changed much. My job, my identity, where I live haven't changed; my family, colleagues, and friends, except for that boyfriend who's disappeared, haven't changed much either; including meeting you now, even though I know our memories differ on some things, it hasn't changed our perspectives on each other—"

"If I could forget the past and treat this world that Tie Niu only managed to salvage in 2002 as a continuation of the life I've lived since childhood, I might as well live a peaceful life."

Hearing that "this Iron Bull only managed to salvage the world in 2002," my heart skipped a beat, and I wanted to speak, but Lin Cui had already taken a deep breath and continued, "But I'm not reconciled!"

"Life is but a few decades. In the end, all fame, fortune, joy, and sorrow will pass away. In the last moment before a person leaves, they can recall everything. Isn't that all that they can take with them from this world? You could even say that a person's life is their memory."

"Therefore, I don't want any inexplicable parts in my memory. I only have one life, and I don't want it to be filled with any misunderstandings!"

Lin Cui's words were spoken with unwavering resolve, drastically changing my usual impression of her as a weak and delicate person. Hearing them, I felt a surge of patriotism, a feeling that no matter what obstacles or hurdles lay before Lin Cui, I would do everything in my power to overcome them alongside her, not because she was beautiful, but because she was a strong and courageous person. The impact of those words was so profound that, while I cannot guarantee the complete accuracy of all the conversations I have recorded since then, I can clearly remember these words as verbatim, without a single mistake.

Enthusiasm can help people make up their minds, but truly solving problems requires calmness. After listening to Lin Cui's "declaration," I silently instructed my brain to operate at an even higher speed. At the same time, I spoke without reservation about my long-held thoughts: "You just mentioned 'the world that Tie Niu only salvaged in 2002.' You know what? I've suspected that maybe you come from another world. This world is fundamentally different from yours; it's only superficially similar."

“I’ve thought about that too.” Lin Cui nodded seriously. “Actually, I’ve always thought that everyone has so many regrets in their past. If I hadn’t done something the way I did, but had handled it in a different way, or even if my method hadn’t changed but I hadn’t failed and had succeeded, maybe everything would have been different.”

"The road of life is like a road with many branches, and each crossroads has many forks, leading to different new crossroads. The earlier a crossroad appears, the greater its impact on the present. As the saying goes, 'Pulling one hair affects the whole body.'"

"In reality, we can only choose one path at a time. Once a choice is made, the forks in the road that were abandoned disappear as if they had vanished. What remains is a clear main road, called 'reality.' But if every choice were made, the permutations and combinations would create countless main roads, countless realities. Whenever we think about what would have happened if we had made a different choice, we might imagine a completely different reality, but we only see it as a hypothetical possibility. What if these possibilities actually exist?"

Hearing this, I couldn't help but continue Lin Cui's words: "For example, if Tie Niu had not been found in 2002, but appeared in 1992, then you might have taken a picture with it, you might have remembered its data very clearly, and this slight change might have led you to meet a German boyfriend."

At this point, we both fell silent and looked at each other.

"Na Duo... do you think I might be from another world?"

I had considered the question Lin Cui posed. In everyday interactions, when someone's thoughts seem out of place or their understanding of things is unusual, I often jokingly say, "Are you from another world?" This doesn't literally mean heaven or hell, but rather a world with completely different common sense and customs. When such a statement becomes a genuine question, it transcends surprise and fear, possessing a wondrous beauty. The feeling of the protagonist in the novel *E.T.*—"Why am I so lucky to have met you from another world?"—was something I now understood as I gazed at Lin Cui's face. And I believe Lin Cui, like me, was captivated by the wondrous allure of this idea, completely disregarding fear and panic. It was as if we had returned to childhood, to the era of believing in fairy godmothers and magic tricks, rejoicing in a possibility that completely defied convention, without caring whether we were observers or protagonists in this "abnormality."

However, this was only a fleeting thought. I had never forgotten that I had once raised this idea with Liang Yingwu on the campus of F University, and at that time Liang Yingwu stopped my speculation by simply reminding me of a question: If Lin Cui really came from another world, then where is the Lin Cui in this world?

I immediately shared this question with Lin Cui.

She didn't react at all, seemingly having anticipated the situation. What she said next, the questions she asked, left me completely baffled: "Nado, have you read *A Brief History of Time*?"

“No,” I answered honestly. “But I’ve heard of this book. Many people consider it the best popular science book written in recent years, and its author, Stephen Hawking, is a visionary in a wheelchair and the greatest scientist since Einstein.”

Lin Cui nodded. "That's right. This book mentions an experiment—"

As I was wondering if this might be an experiment about the existence of countless parallel worlds, Lin Cui drew a parallelogram on a piece of paper, drew two line segments perpendicular to the base, then drew a circle in the lower left of the parallelogram and a larger parallelogram in the upper right.

"Do you remember this experiment from your high school textbook?" Lin Cui asked, sounding like a teacher explaining a lesson. "Make two slits in a piece of cardboard, and then shine a flashlight through those slits onto a dark area behind the cardboard. What happens?"

I thought about it for a moment, "It seems like it would produce zebra-shaped stripes?"

"Correct answer." Lin Cui's expression really resembled that of a child who had just answered a question correctly. "Do you know why?"

Although I don't like being seen as a child, it seems nice to occasionally return to my student days and experience being praised by a gentle and beautiful female teacher. "I remember it was because the light waves passed through two slits, as if they became two light sources, and interference occurred between the crests and troughs, thus creating stripes with differences in brightness."

"Na Duo." Lin Cui suddenly stopped smiling and called my name seriously. For a moment, I thought I must have answered wrong. But then she said, "Although you became a reporter and studied humanities in college, you actually remember quite a lot of physics. Your answer is practically a perfect one, very good, and deserves praise."

I couldn't help but feel a little smug; it seems that having a good memory is indeed my trump card.

“Since you know this, it’s much easier to explain.” Lin Cui immediately continued her “lecture.” “If you replace the light source with a particle source and shine it through these two slits, it will also produce the same stripes. Did you know that?”

I nodded. "Yes, that's easy to understand. Light inherently possesses wave-particle duality. It's normal for particles and light to produce similar results."

"So you even understand wave-particle duality?!" Lin Cui's exclamation gradually began to feel like a form of belittling. After all, I'm a student at F University; even if I'm a liberal arts student, and even if I just coasted through, I should at least be able to memorize a few scientific terms. Her overreaction was a gross underestimation of me. Of course, if you asked me to explain what "wave-particle duality" is, I could only answer that "light possesses characteristics of both waves and particles." As for the essence of these characteristics and why they occur, I had absolutely no idea.

“That’s a good answer, although that’s not the real reason, but it’s good that you understand.” Lin Cui clearly didn’t want to get entangled with me, a complete layman, on technical matters. “Stephen Hawking clearly wrote in *A Brief History of Time*: Because particles are different from light, their quantity can be precisely calculated and controlled. So through experiments, we can know what would happen if only one electron were emitted through the gap at a given moment—do you know what would happen?”

I thought for a moment and didn't answer immediately. Instead, I organized my deductions: "If there's only one slit, the light source shining on the black screen will appear as a uniform distribution. Two slits will produce stripes because they interfere with each other. Since the particle flow is the same, it's because the particles passing through two slits interfere with each other, causing some areas to have more particles and others fewer on the black screen. If the particles are released one by one, and each particle can only pass through one slit at a time, then it's the same as having only one slit. Therefore, it should be uniformly patched, and there shouldn't be any stripes."

“You’re wrong.” Lin Cui smiled slyly at me. “This is the first time you’ve answered incorrectly today. But you can’t be blamed for it; almost no one would have guessed: the stripes are still there.”

"How could that be?" I frowned immediately, but only muttered to myself—even if I dared to doubt Lin Cui, I wouldn't dare to doubt Stephen Hawking.