flamboyant

Kapitel 378

I understand now. Although I don't believe it, I have to admit it's true: I will never have a chance with my husband...

The opponent is too unreliable...

Do I hate him? Do I hate Eleven? I don't know.

My husband still comes to my attic every month as usual. He doesn't act on emotion and has never missed a visit for any reason. I don't know if I can hate my husband who treats me like this.

He never questioned my behavior in the manor. Even if I provocatively hit his beloved concubine, he would not punish me. If I relied on his favored status to complain, I might even be expelled from the manor.

His actions led outsiders to believe that he was protecting me.

Protecting me? Protecting me? Probably not. He was just telling everyone that as long as you behave yourself, you can survive in the Shen family.

I choose to stay put because I love him, I love him so much that I can't give up. I can only wait, hoping for a possible glimmer of hope. I don't expect it to be nonexistent. Will he grant my wish?

…………………

I'm pregnant. I don't know if he likes it or not, so I haven't dared to say anything. I'm afraid he won't want the child. I'm even more afraid because no one has conceived his child in all these years.

I needed someone's support. I didn't dare choose the eleventh brother because I actually disliked him. So I found the fifteenth aunt, a woman my husband needed to face.

She helped me successfully announce my pregnancy, and she told me not to overthink it.

I can't help but think about it. I want to give birth to this child. For a woman without a husband, this is the only thing I can ask for.

But things aren't as comfortable as I want them to be.

The Gao family's intervention threw everything into chaos. My calm heart was in turmoil as I lived in fear that my child might not exist at any moment. I dared not speak out, simply because my husband knew but remained silent. I had lost all my courage, and all I could do was stare blankly at my unborn child.

I kept talking to him, hoping he could feel my prayers and stay so I wouldn't feel so lonely.

He came when I thought all hope was lost. He just wanted company and lazily asked me to go out and keep him company.

I didn't say no, but I was afraid of him; I didn't dare offend him. I was afraid she would be unhappy again and have the idea of her husband divorcing her, so I had to show him kindness, and he just accepted it.

"Sister Lu, is that really you?"

I was clutching a handkerchief. The hatred for killing my child made me want to dismember her right now, but I couldn't. If she really married into the Shen family, I would have to share a husband with her.

"You're not allowed to sit at my table!"

His shouting startled me. Who has offended this ancestor? Go home and burn incense!

"Who are you?"

"Is it appropriate for you to ask a man's name?!"

He was angry; he didn't like her. This realization secretly pleased me. I could almost see this woman's tragic future; I could almost imagine her falling out of favor. I also suddenly realized that I still had a most lethal weapon that I hadn't used yet: this arrogant younger brother in front of me.

I can't complain to the Prime Minister, but I can complain to him. Gao family, you're going to offend someone even more troublesome than me.

Lian'er spoke for me, so I was lucky enough not to have to say anything myself.

He's furious, but he'll help me. "Tell me, who did it!"

His heartache was genuine; he even cared about the child in my womb. Whatever his motives, I will remember this gratitude. If I have the chance, I, Lu Susu, will repay you.

…………………

My husband married Gao Zhenxin against my wishes, but everyone in the household knew that Gao Zhenxin was finished, and I knew she was finished too.

After having children, I no longer consider her a rival. She's not worthy, and I don't have the time for her.

Misfortune never comes to her, yet she actively joins in the fun, truly believing herself to be the Madam of the Shen family. How laughable! If it weren't for your status, you wouldn't even be qualified to marry into this family.

She lost her fertility because Shen Ziyi was unhappy, and she could punish whomever she wanted, and no one had the right to interfere.

Gao Zhenxin woke up, but too late. I could have saved myself the time to laugh at her. After the birth test, I even started to feel sorry for her. Maybe I'm not a heartless person, maybe I almost followed in her footsteps, but the facts tell me that I shouldn't be so sentimental...

…………………

He's adorable; when all hope seems lost, watching him act like a rascal is a kind of enjoyment.

When others are on my side, vanity satisfies me more than receiving praise from my husband.

My husband accompanied him away from home. By then, there was no longer any hatred or resentment. I was the one who pushed this opportunity forward: "My husband, I love you, I really love you, so I'm making you my love, because having you was happiness."

You've given me more than enough. You owe us nothing. You've fulfilled your responsibilities. Go with him and enjoy a few carefree years.

But... the grief came too quickly... he died... she was gone...

How could that be? He's Shen Ziyi. Anyone could have an accident, but he absolutely couldn't. Shen Ziyi, the eleventh young master of the Shen family, a favorite minister of the current emperor, and the one secretly protected by the Prime Minister, how could anything happen to him? Absolutely not...

I was very worried about my husband. I took Cece to see him. He was sitting in a wicker chair by the moonlight. The blood in the corner of his eyes had not yet dried. But I didn't dare to go near him. I ran away with Cece in my arms as if I were escaping, throwing away the comfort I had prepared and losing all hope.

I dare not even imagine his love; I fear I am unable to give it...

The entire capital city fell silent for seven long years because of her disappearance. It had transformed from a bustling metropolis into the desolate place it is today, not because of a decline in living conditions, but because of the decline in the spirit of those in power.

My father often came to see me. He asked me about my husband, and I smiled but didn't answer. But he still came often. The more he came, the more he seemed like a father.

He would tease me and play with me, and he would have my mother accompany me and teach me some ways to conduct myself.

These past few years have been very quiet, so quiet that the only sound is the gentle whisper of my growing voice...

"Mother, the Tenth Princess is so beautiful."

I covered my mouth and laughed: "CeCe actually likes little princesses."