Shouldn't he be in America? Shouldn't he be in America? Didn't he say he wasn't coming back? In an instant, this was all she could think about. She felt a chill run through her body, and her thoughts, which had been racing through her mind, finally began to spin uncontrollably. She shook her head violently, and the hallucination stopped. The bustling noise of the restaurant turned into a clear cacophony. She looked up and took a deep breath.
The sound of high heels came from the other end of the corridor, along with a woman's soft muttering, followed by a surprised voice, "Oh dear, Duan Jiachen, what happened to you lying here?!"
It really was Duan Jiachen, it really was him. That familiar profile, how could she mistake him? Her thoughts raced for a moment. She stood up, about to speak to the person, but froze the instant she turned her head. "Zhang Jingkang?"
Her best friend from high school now seemed terrifyingly unfamiliar. When Song Jianan saw her frowning at her, she seemed a little surprised, her expression slightly fluctuating. Song Jianan smiled slightly, nodded, and politely greeted her, asking, "Song Jianan, what are you doing here?"
"I'm here to keep someone company." She lowered her head to gesture to the man lying on the ground, and just as she bent down to wake him, her hand was gently slapped back. "Song Jianan, thank you, but please don't cause any trouble."
Her hand hovered in mid-air, then trembled violently. "He is Duan Jiachen, not someone else."
“Yes, he is Duan Jiachen, just because he is Duan Jiachen.” Zhang Jingkang smirked. “Why didn’t you know he was back? Why didn’t he tell you? I think Song Jianan, you’re a smart woman, you can understand what I mean, right?”
"He doesn't want you to know, so you don't need to know."
These words felt like sandpaper scraping against her heart, cutting into her skin and making her tremble with pain. She glanced once more at the drunken man on the ground, his brows furrowed, and said softly, "I understand. I didn't see him today."
Song Jianan returned to her seat, and Zeng Shuyi, with her sharp eyes, asked exaggeratedly, "Song Jianan, what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
She sighed deeply, brushed her bangs behind her ear, and bowed slightly. "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well, I have to go now." Then, ignoring Zeng Shuyi's shouts, she ran out on her own.
It really was the last day of the old year. Everywhere was filled with people singing and laughing. There was a huge countdown sign in the square, and many people were gathered around watching the big screen in the street square. On the screen, a male singer was standing on stage, singing hysterically, "Wanting to stay but not being able to, that's the loneliest thing. There's no tenderness left but a farewell song. A second before my heart breaks, we hugged each other tightly in silence. I send you off with my heartbeat, a heartbreaking farewell song."
He appeared right beside her. For the first time in three years, she was so close to him. Memories of the past swirled wildly in her mind like a revolving lantern. All the happy, blissful, and smiling moments of the past were shattered by a single sentence.
"He doesn't want you to know, so you don't need to know."
Another sharp pain pierced her heart, engulfing and entwining her, making it hard for her to breathe. She sat alone by the fountain in the square, gasping for air.
It's the feeling of betrayal, the feeling of being deceived, the loneliness of being abandoned by everyone.
Lonely, and with no one to confide in.
Her phone vibrated violently as blessings from friends and colleagues arrived one after another. She gripped the phone, numbly checking the messages. More and more people gathered in the square, walking past her, everyone smiling and happy.
Happy New Year, Song Jianan.
She stared at the message for a long time, looking at the sender—Su Li—until her fingers were completely frozen before she slowly replied. As she typed, tears suddenly streamed down her face, falling onto the screen and blurring the light.
It was as if she wanted to cry out all the grievances she had held in for so many years. First, she slowly sobbed, then she whimpered softly, and cried until she had no more emotions left. Then someone shouted in her ear, "It's the countdown, it's New Year's Eve!" Only then did she slowly raise her head.
All the lights in the square went out in an instant, and darkness came unexpectedly. Only the red text on the big screen slowly changed, finally turning into 0:00. In that instant, the city's night and lights gently shone with brilliance.
The past is about to pass, and the future is about quietly waiting for it to happen.
"I hope that next year I will live a happy and fulfilling life."
Author's Note:
Are you the one—who is the one for me! By the way, I'm hoping for some romantic luck!
I messed up again, sigh. Sometimes tears aren't necessarily a sign of sadness, but just a way to vent. Life is tiring, and we need to let off steam.
Brother Duan's appearance was so stunning, there's nothing more to say.
This is a description of the 2008 New Year. Because of the background setting, haha.
I've been having terrible writer's block lately, and my train of thought has completely collapsed (in order to get Su Li and Xiao Duan to appear as soon as possible), so I've been rushing to finish this, really.
Things will get better and better in the future; I firmly believe that.
Happy New Year everyone!
"Time's Edge" by Sheng Li, Chapter 31 — Jinjiang Original Website [Works Library]
Quietly gazing out the window, watching cars weave through the streets under the night sky, listening to the unfamiliar melodies of the city, scenes from five years ago resurfaced in Song Jianan's mind, as if she had traveled across mountains and rivers back to the unfamiliar and distant Beijing.
The scene before my eyes kept changing. When I got off the car and arrived at the venue, I realized how cold it really was. The north wind blew the fallen leaves around, as if it wanted to penetrate every inch of my skin. My hands were stiff, my face was icy cold, and my ears couldn't stand it the most.
Fang Yanyan exhaled twice, jumped up and down a couple of times, and turned to Song Jianan to complain, "The messengers that induce pigmentation not only come from the epidermis, but also from the deep dermis, causing melanocytes to be heavily surrounded, resulting in pigmentation that spreads outward. What the hell is this? Do we really have to write it in the news?"
Song Jianan laughed and said, "No, for this kind of news, we just use a few sentences to briefly summarize it in our pages. Fashion magazines are too busy, so they will ask us to send sample copies or provide a link to publish the article later."
A young woman from an advertising company came over to sign in. After she finished, Fang Yanyan asked in a low voice, "Those young women are amazing. They wear skirts even though it's so cold in Beijing at night."
Song Jianan glanced at them carefully. The girls in their early twenties were all dressed in white tops and black skirts, smiling naturally in the sub-zero weather, while she herself was shivering in her wool coat. She shook her head repeatedly, "They're amazing. It's because of work."
One of the girls made eye contact with Song Jianan. She paused for two seconds, smiled, and said nothing.
At the party on the old city walls at the foot of the capital, the organizers had invited many famous models. It was a night of glitz and glamour as usual, but also a night of decadence.
Gradually, the atmosphere at the party became chaotic. A model girl wearing a black bra with a few scraps of fabric below her waist could barely cover anything. Under the colorful lights, she swayed her body seductively, her white skin dazzling. The atmosphere was filled with weariness, debauchery, decadence, and desolation. Sexual desire had seeped into the visual realm, reaching everywhere.
Having witnessed so many scenes like this, Fang Yanyan was truly numb. She looked surprised, then blushed and coughed lightly twice. "Sister Jia Nan, can we leave now? This place is really not suitable for me."
"A life of extravagance and debauchery." Song Jianan smiled slightly. "I didn't originally intend to bring you here, but I felt you hadn't seen it before."
Fang Yanyan's face turned even redder. "No need, I'm not used to these things. By the way, I'm going to go outside and stand for a while. The air inside is too stuffy. Call me when you're leaving."
Song Jianan checked the time. "I'm leaving too. Fang Yanyan, I have to go somewhere else. You go back to the hotel first."
"Where are you going? It's so late."
She smiled and said, "Don't worry about me, I definitely won't stay out all night."
The sky was a hazy gray, a typical sign of the approaching snow. Perhaps needing some time to cool down, a light rain was still falling, and the ground was only lightly damp, with the surroundings a somber backdrop.
Entering through the east gate of Renmin University, perhaps because of the rain, there weren't many students coming and going. Some were carrying umbrellas, while others walked by alone without umbrellas. The orange lights on the school gate illuminated the ground.
She recalled the amusing incident from her previous taxi ride. As soon as she got in, she discovered the Beijing driver was singing in the car. If he were mentally sound, he must be a very cheerful person. He sang quite a few songs along the way. And every time he turned a corner, he would mimic a bus driver, saying, "When turning left, please hold on tight and be careful." Song Jianan suppressed a laugh the whole way, so she tried to engage him in conversation, taking the opportunity to learn about Beijing's customs and culture. "Driver, the Olympics are coming up, I heard you're all actively learning English!"
The driver said, "That's right, I speak several languages. Every time I see a foreigner, I say, 'glad to meet you!' which means it's a pleasure to meet you."
Song Jianan laughed and said, "Wow, that's amazing! Do you speak French?"
The driver gave her a sly look and asked, "Do you even know how?"
Song Jianan answered cautiously, "I only know a little English."
The driver laughed heartily, “#@*￥#@！ is French for ‘Welcome!’”
Song Jianan thought about it for a long time, but she really didn't understand. She had at least learned a little French, and the driver definitely didn't say "Soyez les bienvenus". Now that she thought about it, she realized that she had been tricked by this guy in the end.
Thinking of this, she couldn't help but smile. She entered through the east gate, walked around the Qiushi Building, and followed the lawn until she stopped at Teaching Building 3. The classrooms there were brightly lit. She stood downstairs for a while, then prepared to go up. Two girls walked by, and one of them whispered, "I saw Qian Kun from the Law Department today. He was in my study room."
Another girl's eyes lit up immediately. "Really? I want to go! I want to go!" The two of them walked away hand in hand, skipping and hopping around. Song Jianan secretly smiled to herself, suddenly feeling that being young was a very happy thing.
She still remembers the scene when she came to Renmin University that year. It was outside the study room in this building that she saw that handsome young man, quietly holding a cup of water and focusing on reading.
It was freezing cold outside, but the classroom was so warm that anyone could fall asleep. She pushed open the door and went in. A few people looked up at her, then silently lowered their heads again. She went up the steps and chose the last seat.
On the desk lay a book on mass communication theory. She chuckled to herself, flipped through a page, then closed it. Slowly, she leaned forward onto the desk, closed her eyes, and in the quiet night, in the nostalgic classroom, she relived the university she had once longed for, and the person she had once been so close to.
I opened my eyes, and there lay a stack of books quietly in the spot I remembered, but the person from that time was no longer there.
I don't feel disappointed; on the contrary, I feel very happy.
As I stepped out of the classroom, I could clearly see small white snowflakes beginning to fall. They landed on the ground, melted, fell again, and melted again. Gradually, the white snow on the brown ground increased, starting in heaps and then turning into patches.
Just then, Fang Yan called, "Jianan, it's snowing. When are you coming back? I'm already at the hotel."
She laughed, feeling incredibly happy, and even her voice became louder, "I'm outside, I'll go back later."
"Jianan! Where are you?" Fang Yanyan's voice was slightly annoyed. "You're having fun but don't even think of your brother? Tell me, where are you?"
She tried to bluff her way out by saying, "I was in front of a long corridor, and there was a small lake along the way. There was a rock in the lake, and it seemed like there were a lot of pebbles that led to the middle of the lake."
There was no response from the other end, so Song Jianan seized the opportunity to say, "That's settled then. I'll hang up now and be back soon."
The snow fell heavier and heavier, and the weather grew colder and colder. After leaving Mingde Building, Song Jianan wanted to walk out through the north gate. She turned her head and looked out. Her fingers gently traced the cold glass, and tiny water droplets trickled down from her fingertips. Snowflakes, like dancing white butterflies, crashed against the glass window, creating ripples in the air before shattering into pieces.
Suddenly her phone rang again. She thought it was Fang Yanyan and answered it without even looking at it, but she heard a familiar voice, "Song Jianan, are you at Renmin University?" There was a hint of amusement in his voice.
Instantly, her heart leaped into her throat, and she didn't know how to answer. "Ah, I..."
"Where are we now? Qiushi Building, Mingde Building, or Baijia Gallery?"
"Ming, Mingde Tower."
The other end of the line was full of laughter. "I know. Come out to the West Gate first, don't hang up. Remember the way from Baijialang? Just keep walking until you reach Yishaochi. I'll tell you slowly. When we took our graduation photos, it was in Mingde Building. Our class monitor directed the way and asked the person with the camera, 'Why didn't you bring a tripod?' So a few classmates dragged over a one-meter-high trash can, and he propped his arm on it to take the picture. After that, everyone dispersed. Later we found out that he was just a passerby, and the real photographer was half an hour late."
"Enter from the east gate, which is the main gate, and then walk to the left along Qiushi Building. Teaching Building 3 is the study room I often go to. Standing by the window, you can see the tennis court and the swimming pool. It feels very spacious."
The snowflakes grew larger and larger, fluttering in the darkness. Girls around her shouted excitedly. Song Jianan happily reached out to catch the snowflakes, while the long phone call still lingered in her ear. The voice suddenly stopped and asked, "Song Jianan, the playground is just ahead. The stands I've mentioned to you before. In the summer, I like to sit there quietly at sunset and watch the sky. If it's a winter night, especially on a snowy day, I'll sit there alone and listen to rock music."
She looked up and heard a voice behind her, and at the same time, she heard the same voice in her ear, "Go up and take a look."
Song Jianan turned her head in surprise, then blankly put down her phone. "Why is it you? What are you doing here?"
Did the taxi driver emphasize that it was Renmin University, not the Great Hall of the People?
Snowflakes landed on his head, catching some of the stray hairs on his forehead. His slender profile was handsome and thin, and the white steam from his breath swirled around him. His dark, bright eyes held a touch of warmth amidst their coolness, and there was a faint smile on his lips.
"Go up and stand there. It's all wet from the snow, so you can't sit down."
Song Jianan was so surprised that she couldn't speak for a long time. "How did you get here? How did you know I was at Renmin University?"
Su Li did not answer her question, but walked up the steps by himself. Song Jianan hesitated for a moment and then followed. "This is the place I've mentioned to you many times, right?"
"Mmm." She responded softly, then looked at him again, a slight pang of sadness in her heart. "Actually, if I had been braver back then, I would have applied to Renmin University instead of Sun Yat-sen University."
Yes, if she had been a little braver, she wouldn't have secretly texted him, wouldn't have quietly transferred to the humanities class, and wouldn't have made up a fake name to talk to him. If she had been a little braver from the beginning, wouldn't things have been much less complicated?