Zahlreiche Katastrophen

Kapitel 1

Ghost Canned Food

Li Dui stared blankly at the rows of colorful canned goods on the shelf, unsure which one to buy.

Tomorrow is a crucial moment for him. Whether he can win over his girlfriend's father will be key. More importantly, if he succeeds, it means he will become a future billionaire.

His girlfriend's father is Guo Jinshan, a famous super-rich man in Hong Kong. His girlfriend, Guo Tianru, is Guo Jinshan's only daughter and the sole heir to his 20 billion yuan fortune. Getting her is equivalent to getting the 20 billion yuan fortune. Although Guo Tianru is a very willful and difficult princess to serve, the cunning Li Dui still managed to subdue her with all his might.

In fact, he had already succeeded halfway. He had used the 500,000 yuan he borrowed at high interest rates and his silver tongue to have Guo Tianru completely bewildered and infatuated with him. Now, for Li Dui, Guo Tianru was not the problem; the real problem was Guo Jinshan. Guo Tianru was just a pretext; Guo Jinshan was Li Dui's real target.

"If I succeed tomorrow, and that old man named Guo Jinshan dies, all 20 billion will become my fortune. Then I'll have whatever I want, and maybe even Tung Chee-hwa will line up to see me, hahaha." Li Dui stared at the canned food, lost in thought. "Then I'll find a pharmacist to write a prescription to turn Guo Tianru into an idiot. While she's screaming and yelling in the mental hospital, I can use their fortune to do whatever I want, to seduce beautiful movie stars. That's truly getting both wealth and sex." Just as Li Dui was lost in his reverie, a dark-skinned, short, and strangely-looking middle-aged man walked up to him. The middle-aged man looked at Li Dui's daydreaming expression and revealed a strange look on his face.

Suddenly, a hand patted Li Dui on the back. Li Dui was so startled that he screamed and jumped up. When he calmed down and turned around, a typical Thai face with a small mustache, a wide face and a big mouth appeared in front of him.

"Are you out of your mind?!" Li Jing was furious, his face flushed. "I don't even know you." "You need my help." The short man smiled mysteriously. "I can help you make your dreams come true." "Bullshit!" Li Jing was skeptical. "I'm not a three-year-old. If you want to scam money, find someone else." "A fortune is waiting for you. The method is to win over your girlfriend's father. However, you're currently experiencing bad luck, and you might miss out on this fortune," the mustachioed man replied earnestly.

Hearing this, Li Dui felt a chill run down his spine. Strange, how did he know my plan? Could he be a highly skilled sorcerer who can see through people's thoughts? But he could also be a fraudster, or a perverted stalker... "Who exactly are you?" Li Dui looked at the short man warily.

"Chagna, a Thai sorcerer," the short, mustachioed man said with a smile. "I've helped many men and women solve problems they thought were unsolvable. If you don't want to fail, I'm your foolproof guarantee." "What methods do you have to help me?" Li Dui probed.

"Have you ever heard of raising ghost children?" The man with the mustache smiled strangely. "In Southeast Asia, many people have become millionaires through this method." "I've heard of it. Raising ghost children is very troublesome; one wrong move and it can backfire." Li Dui had also heard of raising ghost children. It was said that as long as you fed the ghost of a recently deceased infant with your own blood, you could turn the ghost child into your slave. However, usually after a certain period of time, the ghost child would start to harm its master. He had heard too many tragedies about raising ghost children, so he didn't like this kind of thing.

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [4]: "You can rest assured." Chagner comforted, "My little ghost has always been raised by me. I'm just lending it to you for seven days. You only need to feed it blood for seven days. To become one with it, you need to feed it for at least forty-nine days. Only when you become one with it can it harm its master." "What if I have accomplished nothing after seven days?" Li Dui asked.

"It's very simple, just give me back the little devil, and I won't take a single penny," Chagner said confidently.

"I won't ask for a deposit in advance," Li Dui said, pushing his luck.

"Deal." Chagner patted Li Dui's hand. "If it's successful in seven days, you decide the price." "Great, okay, I'll rent your ghost boy and give it a try." It was a simple tin shack, located at the foot of a high mountain in the East New Territories. The surrounding woods were dark and gloomy, and in front of the shack was a patch of withered grass and a few broken tires. The tin shack had two windows, and the inside was pitch black.

Chagna opened the iron gate, pulled the rope, and an orange hanging lamp lit up inside the tin shack.

Li Dui looked around and saw rows of shelves filled with cans of food covered with yellow talismans. In the center of the room was a faded, old desk with a ceramic altar for performing rituals on it. Five sticks of incense were stuck in the altar, and wisps of smoke drifted in the air, giving the whole room an eerie and mysterious atmosphere.

Chagner unfolded a folding chair for Li Dui to sit down, and then took a unique can of food from a corner of the shelf, which had a red talisman on it.

Li Dui then noticed three black ceramic jars under his desk, their mouths plugged with wooden stoppers bearing white talismans. The jars had some Thai writing on them that he couldn't understand.

"Don't you use bamboo tubes to hold the ghost children?" Li Dui asked, puzzled.

"There's no other way, times have changed." Chagner handed a can of pineapple with a red talisman to Li Dui. "To get through customs, we had no choice but to smuggle large quantities of pineapple into Hong Kong, some of which would then be re-exported to the mainland. Recently, the mainland's 'spyware' market is booming. A friend of mine opened a company that rents out 'spyware' under the guise of 'sheep' (a derogatory term for foreigners), and he's made a fortune. It's a pity I don't have his connections, otherwise..." "Don't worry, I have many high-ranking friends in the mainland. As long as I succeed this time, I'll help you expand into the mainland market," Li Dui boasted. "When you're making a fortune, just don't forget to share some with me, and I'll be eternally grateful." "Don't worry, I won't treat my friends unfairly. Maybe we'll even have a chance to compete for a spot among the world's top ten richest people. I'll also take the 'spyware' business out of Asia and into the world." Chagner became more and more smug as he spoke.

"Why are the canned goods you gave me labeled with red talismans?" Li Dui looked around at the shelves, where all the canned goods had yellow talismans on them.

"Because you're a big business, I'm using the finest ghost children. These aren't ordinary ghost children. Those with yellow talismans are just regular ghost children, but those with red talismans are different. They're red ghost children. Among ghost children, red ghost children are the most powerful. They don't even care about black dog blood or peach wood swords. Those with yellow talismans are mass-produced in mechanized factories, bought in bulk at wholesale prices. All of them combined are no match for this red ghost child." "What? Red ghost children?" Li Dui shuddered upon hearing this. "Even high-ranking monks and sorcerers can't defeat it." "Moreover, this red ghost child was born in an unlucky year, month, day, and hour." Chagna continued to boast, "It's a rare, top-tier red ghost child, the King of Red Ghost Children, far more powerful than ordinary ones. My master, along with the twelve most powerful sorcerers in Thailand, spent seven days and seven nights subduing it. Before that, it had killed at least twelve highly skilled sorcerers." "So powerful, I think I'll just need a yellow talisman." Li Dui began to feel afraid.

"No, your forehead is dark, your five stars are in conflict, and you're plagued by bad luck. Without the Red Ghost King's help, you won't succeed, and you'll suffer a bloody disaster." Chagner stared at Li Dui seriously as he analyzed, "This year is your unlucky year. Only the Red Ghost King's magic can help you turn things around." "I'm worried I can't control it," Li Jing said, still full of doubt.

"As long as you don't tear off the red talisman, you can keep him under control." Chagna patted Li Dui's shoulder dismissively. "Just be careful, it'll be fine, just like crossing the street. Besides, its magic power is almost godlike. You know why I know what you're thinking? It's because the Red Ghost King told me." "It works even from this far away?" Li Dui was dumbfounded.

"As long as you feed it with your own blood, it can communicate with you telepathically no matter how far away you are." Chagner said with great enthusiasm and excitement. "You don't even have to open your mouth, just think about it and it will do it for you." --- Magpie Bridge Fairy replied [5]: But what if I accidentally do something wrong? "Li Dui was still worried.

"Don't worry, I've already prepared." Chagna smiled mysteriously and opened the wooden stoppers of three ceramic jars under the table, which contained red, black, and white powders respectively. He then took out a spoon and scooped a few spoonfuls of each powder onto a piece of white paper. After mixing the three powders together, Chagna folded the paper into a package and handed it to Li Dui.

"What is this?" Li Dui asked, taking the paper.

"The trump card, the secret weapon my master used to deal with this Red Ghost King. No matter how powerful this Red Ghost King was, this powder could destroy it." "Is it really that powerful?" "This ghost-destroying powder is made from three kinds of plant powders that specifically fight ghosts, refined by a sorcerer with incantations. Even if the Red Ghost King is hit by it once, it will be severely weakened. If it is hit three times in a row, it can be destroyed." "That's great." Li Dui finally breathed a sigh of relief and happily put the white paper packet into his pocket.

"Remember, starting tonight, every night at midnight you must put a drop of blood into the small hole at the top of the jar," Chagna instructed. "That way it will obey you." Li Dui looked at the small hole at the top of the jar and asked, "Won't it escape through here?" "As long as you don't tear off the red talisman, it can't escape," Chagna suggested. "However, to make it more diligent towards you, you should try to win its favor." "Should I feed it a few more drops of blood?" "No, only one drop, otherwise it will merge with you and cause trouble. I had a customer who was possessed by a ghost like that before. You can burn some paper toys, the more high-end the better, that way it will obey you more." "Don't worry, I will burn a paper paradise for it." Li Dui picked up the jar of red talismans, said goodbye, and left.

At 10 a.m. the next day, under a clear blue sky, a snow-white double-decker luxury yacht rested quietly on the calm waters off the east coast of Hong Kong.

On the second open deck at the stern, Guo Jinshan, a short and thin Hong Kong tycoon wearing glasses and swimming trunks, lay on a beach chair under a parasol, enjoying a fried egg handed to him by Li Dui.

"It's so delicious!" Guo Jinshan exclaimed, savoring the dry, fried egg. "It's an unprecedented feeling, like flying off Earth! It's so satisfying! It's like a waterfall cascading down three thousand feet, an egg falling from the heavens!" "Great!" Li Dui immediately clapped wildly. "Wonderful! Uncle Guo, you speak like a poet, your literary talent is extraordinary! You truly deserve to be called a peerless literary and business genius." Guo Tianru lay on another sun lounger, staring at her father in disbelief. What was going on? Her father, who usually hated fried eggs, had unexpectedly eaten five and praised them highly. Did her boyfriend really possess unparalleled culinary skills that could bring the dead back to life?

No, it's all thanks to Red Devil Wang. Because of Red Devil Wang, one of Li Dui's creditors called to lend him the yacht. Because of Red Devil Wang, the egg seller even gave Li Dui a basket of eggs for free last night. Because of Red Devil Wang, even if Li Dui farted, Guo Jinshan would say it smelled good. Because of Red Devil Wang... Seeing Guo Jinshan so happy that his eyes were practically popping out of his head, Li Dui pressed his advantage. He picked up a karaoke microphone from the deck and started singing off-key, "The East is Red, the sun rises, Hong Kong has produced a Guo Jinshan..." Guo Tianru covered her ears; she couldn't stand Li Dui's off-key singing any longer. "Stop singing! You sing terribly, like a pig squealing." "Shut up!" Guo Jinshan interrupted his daughter's shouts. "Don't you know anything about art? This is bel canto! You're so uncultured and low-class. Learn from your boyfriend and cultivate some artistic talent!" Li Dui, who was singing completely off-key, secretly chuckled to himself. He had deliberately fried eggs, which Guo Jinshan hated, and then used telepathy to test Red Devil's magic. It seemed that Red Devil was indeed living up to his reputation. Now even his nonsensical singing was praised by Guo Jinshan. It seemed that it would be difficult for him not to get Guo Tianru today!

"Uncle, I'll go fry another egg." Li Dui didn't want to offend his girlfriend, so he decided to stop while he was ahead.

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [6]: "Great, that's wonderful." Guo Jinshan was so excited that he whistled.

Li Dui turned and strolled back to the cabin, walked through a corridor, went down an iron staircase, and turned into a cabin with cabinets on both sides. This was the yacht's kitchen.

Li Dui opened one of the hanging cabinets, inside which was a can of ghost food with a red talisman on it.

"If this stupid old man agrees to marry his daughter to me tonight, I'll burn a paper aircraft carrier for you," Li Dui swore to the jar with his eyes closed.

At this moment, on the open deck, Guo Jinshan was nagging his daughter, "Look at Li Dui, he can sing, he can hype things up, and he's successful in his career. Men like him are almost extinct. You should hurry up and propose to him. Our Guo family needs a son-in-law like him..." "Dad, what's wrong with you? What kind of woman proposes to a man?" Guo Tianru pouted and retorted.

"Fool! If you don't marry him soon, I'm afraid someone will snatch him away. Men like that are very popular." Guo Jinshan's face immediately darkened. "If you don't propose to him today, I'll kill you with a knife." Just then, a small speedboat came rushing up to the side of the yacht.

A long steel ladder with handles extended upwards and, with a "bang," hooked onto the railing of the yacht's upper deck. Two tall, burly men in floral shirts quickly climbed up.

"You must marry Li Dui, no saying no, understand?" Guo Jinshan was scolding his daughter incessantly, completely unaware that two burly men were walking over.

"Guo Chaoren, I've been waiting for you for a very, very long time." A man in a floral shirt with a mustache stood in front of Guo Jinshan with a forced smile. "Today is truly a wonderful day for a vacation." "Who are you?" Guo Jinshan glared at the mustachioed man. "I'm busy, I don't need a tour guide, get lost!" "Hahaha." The mustachioed man laughed and pulled out a pistol from his pocket, ordering with a grin, "Hands up, stand at attention!" Another fat man with thick eyebrows and big eyes also pulled out a watermelon knife and held it to Guo Jinshan's neck. "We're not here for a vacation, we're kidnappers, here specifically to kidnap Guo Chaoren, understand?" "Aru, such a fun game didn't even wait for me." Li Dui, who came out of the cabin with a plate of fried eggs, thought it was an unexpected game arranged by the spoiled princess when two burly men suddenly appeared.

"Stop! Hands behind your head and squat down!" The man with the mustache shouted, turning his pistol towards Li Dui.

"Bang, bang." Li Dui imitated the sound of gunfire twice, then clutched his heart and pretended to be hit. "Darling, shoot quickly, let me experience what it's like to go to heaven." The man with the mustache was furious. He took a big step in front of Li Dui and kicked him to the ground.

With a "thud," Li Dui crashed heavily onto the deck. The fried egg flew to another corner, and a dirty leather shoe viciously stomped down on his cheek. "Ah!" Li Dui screamed in agony as several of his front teeth were broken, and blood gushed from the corner of his mouth.

"Did you enjoy it?" The man with the mustache grinned maliciously, pressing a pistol against Li Dui's head. "Want to experience the taste of your head exploding?" "Don't hurt him! He's my son-in-law! Anyone who dares to lay a finger on him, I'll kill them with one blow!" Guo Jinshan suddenly shouted, his expression one of resignation to his fate.

"Hahaha, it seems like good things are happening all at once today. We can't help but become rich now." The man with the mustache patted the fat man on the shoulder and laughed.

"Let's just say one hundred million each, and we'll extort three hundred million." The fat man grabbed Guo Tianru's long hair and laughed.

"No, I'm not his son-in-law, I'm his servant, you've got the wrong person," Li Dui quickly retorted, not wanting to be a hostage.

"Release my son-in-law, and I'll give you 500 million." Guo Jinshan stood up righteously. Under the influence of the Red Devil, Li Dui had become his god.

"Ten billion! Go home right now and get ten billion. Tomorrow, hand over the cash in a safe at the Convention and Exhibition Centre, or your son-in-law will be mailed to your mansion as a Teochew beef ball." The mustachioed man then ordered the fat man, "Release his daughter." "No, wrong location," the fat man corrected. "You should hand over the money at the entrance of the Chief Executive's Office." "Are you crazy?" "The more dangerous the place, the safer it is. Haven't you read any books?" The fat man spoke eloquently, with the air of a theorist.

"Okay, pay the money at the Chief Executive's Office tonight." Guo Jinshan then solemnly promised Li Dui, "Don't worry, my good son-in-law---Magpie Bridge Fairy replied [7]: even if I go bankrupt, die, never be reborn, or the sky collapses and the earth cracks, I will still rescue you." "You brat, you're really lucky, you're worth a billion. Stop pretending to be miserable in front of me. Maybe I'll come to you for fun when I'm short of money in the future. Future Hong Kong tycoon, I want you to laugh now, to laugh lewdly, understand?" The man with the mustache pressed the gun against Li Dui's buttocks.

Li Dui had no choice but to force a smile. "Slap!" The man with the mustache slapped Li Dui again. "Not a bitter smile, but a lewd smile, a wanton smile, like a lecherous wolf." "Ouch, ouch!" Li Dui protested, his mouth full of blood. At this moment, his mind calmed down. He thought of Red Ghost Boy Wang. Since Red Ghost Boy Wang could control Guo Jinshan, why not try it on these two kidnappers?

"Red Devil, make these two kidnappers get diarrhea," Li Dui said to Red Devil with his eyes closed.

After repeating it to themselves a dozen times, suddenly, both the mustachioed man and the fat man froze as if they had been shot, their eyes wide open like lanterns, and sweat pouring down their faces.

"Big brother, I can't take it anymore!" The fat man screamed as he clutched his stomach and ran toward the cabin.

"Stop! Let me go first!" The man with the mustache clutched his stomach and ran over.

Seeing the two kidnappers running like madmen towards the downstairs restroom, Li Dui immediately pulled Guo Jinshan up and said, "Run!" "Who is this person?" Guo Jinshan asked Guo Tianru in confusion, as Red Ghost Boy Wang had lost control of him.

"Dad, he's my boyfriend." Guo Tianru was baffled.

"What?! He's your boyfriend?" Guo Jinshan shouted frantically. "Are you kidding me? You want a guy with that monkey-like face and pointy cheeks? You can tell he's no good." "But you were just urging me to propose to him," Guo Tianru said, confused by her father.

"Run! Otherwise it'll be too late!" Li Dui didn't care about anything else. He pulled Guo Jinshan and ran towards the railing on the left side of the deck. There was an iron ladder hooked onto the railing, and below the ladder was an empty speedboat. All the kidnappers were gone.

"Why are you grabbing my hand?" Guo Jinshan struggled and shouted.

"Dad, someone is trying to kidnap us!" Guo Tianru also grabbed Guo Jinshan's hand and dragged him toward the ladder.

"Stand up!" A bearded man with a gun walked out of the cabin. It turned out that there were four kidnappers in total. The mustachioed man and the fat man came from the deck, while the bearded man and an old man crawled into the lower deck from the other side to search. Now the bearded man had also climbed onto the deck.

Li Dui and his two companions were so frightened they collapsed to the ground. Guo Jinshan waved his hands tremblingly, "Brothers, let's talk this out." "Anyone who moves?" The bearded man fired a shot into the air. "I'll execute him on the spot." "Please, spare me! I was just passing by," Li Dui pleaded, weeping. In reality, he was secretly wishing that Red Devil Wang would give the bearded man diarrhea.

"Let you go? Dream on! Unless Guo Chaoren hands over 500 million, I'll chop you all into mincemeat and feed you to the pigs!" the bearded man roared.

"Then let me go!" Guo Jinshan said, his heart pounding. "Take them both as hostages, and I'll definitely bring the full 500 million tomorrow." "No, you should take Uncle Guo as a hostage instead. I'll go and raise the money with his daughter," Li Dui quickly interjected.

"Shut up, you're all hostages. Guo Chaoren, call your wife right now and tell her to bring over 500 million." The bearded man ordered.

"Two, two, two hundred million," Guo Jinshan stammered as he bargained.

"Six hundred million." The bearded man slapped Guo Jinshan twice. "Bargain again, add another hundred million." "Red Ghost King, make him get diarrhea!" Terrified, Li Dui prayed frantically, but for some reason, it didn't work this time. The bearded man was still swaggering in front of them with his gun. What had happened? Was it all just a coincidence? Was that Thai sorcerer a fraud...? Li Dui closed his eyes in anguish.

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [8]: Of course not. It turns out that something else happened on the bottom floor of the yacht. An old man crawled into the kitchen on the bottom floor. This white-haired old man, nicknamed "Fox," was the leader of this gang of bandits. His name was Lai Ziqiang. This guy crawled into the kitchen to find something to eat. Good heavens, he found that the big pot on the gas stove contained dozens of fried eggs.

Lai Ziqiang picked up an egg and ate it. It was bland and tasteless. "Rich people know how to take care of their health. Damn it, they just eat tasteless things." He opened several cabinets around him, but found nothing but a basket of eggs.

Suddenly, he saw a can with a red talisman on it in a hanging cabinet. Lai Ziqiang tore off the talisman while cursing. It turned out to be a can of pineapple.

"Rich people are so bored, sticking talismans on cans. It would be more practical to stick them on the toilet." He was figuring out how to open the can, but little did he know that the red talisman was meant to suppress the Red Ghost King inside, and now he had released the Red Ghost King.

With a "hiss," a plume of red smoke shot out at high speed from the pinhole at the top of the can, hitting Lai Ziqiang in the face. He screamed and threw the can away. His eyes were filled with tears from the spray, and he was in excruciating pain.

The red mist that spewed out of the can quickly filled the entire room, and in the blink of an eye, the surroundings were filled with a hazy, rolling red mist.

"A ghost!" Lai Ziqiang was so frightened that he ran towards the door. Just then, the can that had fallen at the door suddenly expanded inexplicably. In the blink of an eye, it rapidly stretched and deformed in all directions. Two metal hands stretched out, two metal feet emerged from below, and a metal head bulged out from the top. A gleaming metal figure stood at the doorway.

"Future Warriors, Transformers, Macross," Lai Ziqiang mumbled incoherently, terrified.

"It's time to sleep, you idiot." The metal man raised his metal arm and punched Lai Ziqiang.

"Ah!" Lai Ziqiang's vision went black, and he knew nothing more.

That's why Red Ghost Boy Wang was released by Lai Tze-keung, and Li Dui's prayers no longer worked.

Suddenly, a large cloud of red smoke billowed out of the cabin. The bearded man, pointing his gun at Li Dui and the other two, cautiously walked towards the cabin door. "That bastard is playing with smoke." "There's a ghost!" The mustachioed man and the fat man screamed and ran up to the deck through the red smoke.

"What on earth happened?" the bearded man asked, bewildered.

"There's a ghostly hand in the toilet, it's terrifying!" the mustachioed man exclaimed incoherently.

"There was another ghost head that bit my butt!" The fat man screamed in agony as he touched his bloody buttocks.

"Shut up, don't talk such disgusting stuff in front of me. There are no ghosts in broad daylight." The bearded man glared angrily.

"It's true, brother. We saw it with our own eyes. Just now, Fatty and I were sitting on the toilet having diarrhea when suddenly a cold wind blew in, followed by red smoke everywhere. Then, ghostly hands and heads came out of the toilet. It was terrifying." The man with the mustache was still shaken.

"I saw it with my own eyes! A red little ghost head flew out of the toilet! My butt really hurts!" the fat man cried out in pain.

"Enough, shut up! This is just an illusion, understand? Haven't you ever seen a ghost movie? Ghosts only appear at night. There are no ghosts in broad daylight," the bearded man lectured them eloquently. "You don't even know the most basic ghost knowledge, yet you try to encounter ghosts..." While the bearded man was scolding his companions, Li Dui pulled the Guo father and daughter along quietly toward the handrail ladder by the boat, and they climbed down one by one, intending to use the small speedboat moored below to escape.

Just as Li Dui was about to jump onto the speedboat after climbing to the bottom, the speedboat suddenly started moving away automatically with a "toot toot toot" sound. In the blink of an eye, the speedboat, which shot out like an arrow, had already roared dozens of meters away on the sea.

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [9]: What happened? "Li Dui stared blankly at the speedboat that automatically drove out, his face pale with fright.

"Standing up," the bearded man appeared on the railing above, looking at the three idiots lined up in a row on the ladder. He laughed loudly, "Trying to run?" Then, "Bang! Bang!" he fired two shots into the sea. "No way! Who started the speedboat?" "Hero, spare us! Hero, spare us! It really wasn't our fault. It drove off on its own," Li Dui responded tremblingly.

"Bullshit, do you think I'm a three-year-old?" The bearded man didn't believe it. Just then, the speedboat in the distance suddenly exploded into a huge fireball with a "boom," and countless fragments were scattered all over the mountains and fields in the firelight.

"I told you long ago that this ship is haunted, but you wouldn't believe me!" the man with the mustache shouted hysterically.