51

Capítulo 30

Oh well, whatever.

He chuckled softly, just like before. "It's alright, it's fine this way. We've been arguing for so many years...it's all for the best." He patted me on the shoulder and started the car.

It's not that nothing's wrong; in fact, things have gotten much worse.

The blisters were supposed to appear tomorrow, but they've appeared immediately, densely packed like hives.

When he asked later, I did answer that it was urticaria. But we really can't go on like this.

Biting my pen, I racked my brains and wrote a letter to my uncle. He replied with difficulty, saying that romantic love was like a thing of the past to him and he really had no advice to give. However, he did send me a packet of herbs to bathe in, subtly suggesting that I increase my resistance so that Tang Chen would not "harm" me.

Yes, after washing with that packet of herbs, Tang Chen stopped giving me blisters... but the problem is still not solved!

When I asked Shuo, she calmly replied, "I already got the medicine."

What medicine?

“Time,” she said, bowing her head as she mixed the sesame oil. “It is the best remedy for all pain.”

…What’s the difference between having it open and not having it open?

Even the wise men couldn't give me any good advice, and I've never been in a relationship myself, so I'm really at a loss.

But the unrest at the school escalated, and the atmosphere became increasingly tense. The local residents became more and more hysterical, with even the least inspired students pointing to the sky and making swearing oaths, as if large groups of people were running a marathon on the ceiling and floor. Some girls were so frightened that they jumped out of the building to escape, but luckily it was only on the second floor, and they only sprained their ankles.

The old man was furious. He couldn't vent his anger on Tang Chen, but he could vent it on me.

"Girl! Think of something! If he runs rampant around campus like a bull, what will happen to my zero suicide record?!"

You want me to come up with a solution? Who am I supposed to ask for a solution? I was on the verge of tears when I came up with the funniest idea—I'll give Tang Chen a bell.

"...This is a token of our friendship," I said, forcing a lie. "I have one too, so don't take it off."

Tang Chen, who hadn't truly laughed in a long time, finally broke into a genuine smile. "Hengzhi, why have you suddenly become so young?"

I was so embarrassed that I couldn't even lift my face.

However, thanks to the bell, the indigenous people could hear it from afar and leave, which somewhat calmed the commotion.

But the atmosphere at the school became terrible. A tense, oppressive atmosphere pervaded the place. The original inhabitants were the first to be affected, and even the living were impacted. Of course, I knew that Tang Chen appeared unaffected on the surface, but his inner trauma was truly deep.

It was only at this time that I realized how much he loved Yuzheng.

Come to think of it, it makes sense. They grew up together as childhood sweethearts, inseparable. The Yu Zheng he spoke of was not the lioness I knew at all. Instead, she was a multi-talented girl, full of a sense of justice, and gentle and considerate. Every smile and gesture of hers was deeply etched in his heart.

He wasn't one to express his emotions openly; he only mentioned ordinary little things. But I didn't know he would harbor such deep feelings, to the point that when he was uprooted, the wound would ooze pus.

There's really nothing I can do about this.

But things have progressed to the point where I can no longer say I am "powerless".

Because I so stupidly left a mark on Tang Chen's clothes, monsters from other places who thought they were powerful enough would come to me to negotiate.

Usually, she'd only do it once and then back off without doing it again. The only downside was my severely depleted wallet. I usually don't want Huang'e getting involved in these kinds of things, for fear of giving people something to gossip about, but she'd always be there to keep things under control.

But some monsters from other places seem to have gotten addicted to fighting, and they've developed a friendship through their battles. Every time they have a fight, they'll find an excuse to spar, then they'll go to the night market for food and drinks, and they always pay for it.

Although they often leave me sleep-deprived, these monsters are quite interesting. One lynx in particular loves this kind of thing; the whole family comes, like they're on a picnic.

But one morning, the Mountain Cat Lady, who had just had a late-night snack with him the night before, was no longer afraid of Shuo and Guan Haifa. She came up and banged on the door, saying that she wanted to fight him to the death.

"I don't care!" she cried, wiping away tears. "We've already fought, why did you still send your shikigami to steal and harm my husband and children? Come out here! I'll fight you to the death!"

He was truly speechless and furious. "Why would I go to the mountains to seek refuge? Why would I eat your disgusting wildcat?! It's been living for hundreds of years, its skin is as thick as a city wall, and its meat is as dry as a bomb. Do you think I'm that indiscriminate?!"

After much effort, I finally figured it out: after they parted ways with me last night, they were ambushed. Her husband and child were seriously injured and died. The lynx lady thought that no one here except me, this "great demon" (...), had that kind of ability, so she came to make a scene.

…I don't understand, I really don't understand. Although I was saddened that she said I was a great demon…but in these mountains, besides me (…) and Huang'e, there's no one else who can actually do it. In the end, Huang'e and I went to check, and luckily Huang'e knew a little about herbal remedies for demons, which saved the person (uh, the demon).

But my friendship with the lynx family broke down.

This is the first incident, but not the last. Within a radius of twenty or thirty miles around this mountain, there have been continuous incidents of demons or ghosts being harmed, all of whom have had some kind of conflict with me.

This world is not only for humans. There are also many "neighbors" that we can see or cannot see, who also have the right to live here. Let's just live in peace.

I straddle the boundary between the inner and outer worlds. To protect Tang Chen and my own lives, and occasionally due to requests from the old man, some friction is inevitable, but it doesn't need to escalate to this point. This, on the contrary, undermines a certain tacit understanding and balance.

This is giving me a headache.

But when I discovered that Tang Chen's "pus" had transformed into a large golden snake, winding its way out of his room and unconsciously attacking all sorts of evil spirits, my headache became even more severe.

With a heavy heart, I tried to suppress the "snake" using my very poorly learned runes.

The snake didn't crawl out, but Tang Chen looked puzzled and said to me, "I think I was robbed last night. The house was smashed up and made a mess... It's strange that I didn't wake up?"

I chuckled dryly. "I didn't hear anything... Did anything go missing?"

"There isn't one. That's strange."

While he went to tidy up the room, I squatted helplessly on the floor.

"It's up to him to figure this out," Shuo said casually.

"He won't hurt anyone," she waved her hand. "It'll just be a minor cut or bruise."

…This is about the necessity of good neighborly relations, it has nothing to do with physical harm! I really want to flip the table…

I complained to my uncle, and he sent me some talismans. But they only caused Tang Chen to be "robbed" again, and didn't help at all.

The ghost stories circulating both on and off campus have reached a breaking point, and I can't take it anymore. I've decided to have a serious talk with Tang Chen.

“Tang Chen, keeping a breakup bottled up inside won’t help. Although I have no experience with this…” I told him, “I’m willing to listen to you.”

“…There’s nothing to say.” He turned his face away.

I knew he was gentle, but extremely stubborn. If he didn't want to talk, I could hang him upside down and beat him, but he still wouldn't talk. "But you're making me very sad!" I yelled.

A tear slid down his cheek, though he quickly wiped it away. "...I know you care about me, thank you...I won't let you worry."

…I'm really not good at using torture to extract confessions.

In the midst of this chaos, an unexpected guest came to see me.

The long-standing fear did not lessen at all after Tang Chen broke up with her. When she looked at me, my back was covered in cold sweat.

"Tang Tang and Tang Chen have returned to Taipei," I stammered.

"I know, that's why I came to find you." She sat down, gesturing for me to sit opposite her. "You two are together?"

I sat down hesitantly and shook my head.

Her face immediately darkened. "No? Doesn't he have feelings for you?"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Nobody in the world believed me, not even the old man. I said through tears, "It's really not true... Why should I lie to you now? Besides, I can't fool you anyway."

Her beautiful face shifted between light and shadow, making me feel that things weren't beyond repair. Cautiously, I pleaded for Tang Chen, "Tang Chen is a bit naive, but he really loves you. If you break up... he's like a walking corpse..." This even caused a bunch of supernatural phenomena, with even Shenwei materializing, creating complete chaos.

"Love me? Do you really love me?!" she roared. "Am I not attractive to him at all? It's not that he can't... he's very capable! He's just not interested, he just doesn't want to be with me..."

When the lioness gets angry, the "empowerment" kicks in involuntarily. But I didn't know that anger could become a real wall, especially when I was even angrier than her.

"Shut up! Don't tell me such private things!" I was clearly afraid of her, but at this moment, I was filled with anger. "Are you with him just because you want his beautiful body?!"

"I'm a worldly woman, I can't handle Platonic love!" she said, even angrier. "If he clearly doesn't love me, why put on that pathetic, heartbroken act? So everyone will say I'm unfaithful? If anyone's unfaithful, it's him... or is he just impotent? His impressive facade is just a facade achieved with drugs... You can have him if you want..."

At that moment, I suddenly became "Wilderness". Her vivid, fiery anger and murderous intent suddenly filled my heart.

"Lies. Lies!" I really wanted to tear her apart with my claws, to shamelessly and brazenly humiliate the person I once loved in front of a complete stranger. She treated her betrayal as a game, shifting all the blame onto someone else.

But since I have no claws, I brutally poured all my emotions into her heart, letting her see the pus and pain in Tang Chen's heart, and ruthlessly tearing open the privacy she thought she had protected so well.

I knew it from the first time we met. Her territory wasn't just Tang Chen's. But I hope Tang Chen is happy and joyful. Everyone is impetuous when they're young, and I hope she'll tone it down a little because of my presence.

But now, she is trying to prove that she is not wrong, because Tang Chen has betrayed her, and that she has done nothing wrong.

How could you insult my friend who is in so much pain that he is almost beyond repair?!

"Alright." Shuo placed his hand on my shoulder, instantly extinguishing the anger that had almost consumed me, leaving me feeling exhausted. "That's enough, let her go."

After a long while, Yu Zheng shouted and staggered away.

Shuo kept his hand on my shoulder for a while, waiting until I was breathing normally. He waved his hand to indicate that I was alright, and then I staggered back upstairs, where I vomited repeatedly in the bathroom.

It's filthy, really filthy.

I think I'll never be able to have a close relationship with anyone in my life. After seeing so much filth in people's hearts, I really can't do it.

In the moment of my madness, I inadvertently "swallowed" too much of Yu Zheng's emotions and memories. I felt no impulse at all, only a filthy feeling as if I were covered in mud.

There's nothing wrong with physical intimacy and sexual intercourse. What truly disgusts me is the underlying "heart." That sense of guilt, and then the sense of entitlement to scapegoating... it's unbearable.

I probably vomited up all my stomach acid and even bile.

Clutching my stomach, I staggered onto the bed, feeling like I wanted to die.

After lying there for a while, I understood Tang Chen's feelings and the truth behind the "pus." For a guy, it must have been incredibly embarrassing and difficult to talk about...?

Such a "serious defect".

The next day, Tang Chen returned. He hesitantly knocked on my door, "Hengzhi? Shuo said you weren't feeling well and didn't even eat dinner last night. Are you alright?"

I opened the door, and he jumped in surprise. "...What happened to you? It's only been two days...how...how did you get so thin?!"

I'm a person without talent. So if I want to use any ability, I have to sacrifice my health and erode my flesh.

I glanced at him, then stiffly and awkwardly hugged him tighter. He didn't dare move, his voice strained, "...Hengzhi?"

“Tang Chen, I have a serious flaw.” His voice was hoarse from vomiting. “I can’t have intimate relationships with anyone. I believe you would never look down on me.”

I cried.

I cry for Tang Chen, and I cry for myself. Regardless of the reason, we belong to the kind of people who are "desireless." In ancient times, we might have been praised for our "high moral character" and "unmoved by temptation," and even if we didn't become monks or Taoists, no one would have said anything.

But this is modern times. Men are mocked for being "impotent," and women are mocked for being "sexually frigid." Regardless of gender, people are suspected of being homosexual.

Men, in particular, are often subjected to extremely harsh criticism and may even be ostracized.

I cried especially for Tang Chen. It's not a flaw at all, but because of this rigid social framework, he has to swallow this bitterness and endure his girlfriend's vicious mockery and insults.

This world rejects those who are different; I feel immense pain for him.

"...Yu Zheng came by?" His voice was very soft.

"You are my best friend, the most important person to me!" I burst into tears.

“You are also the most important person to me… I’m sorry, I don’t know how to love…” He cried along with me. It was as if all the confusion, doubts, self-reproach, and all the wounds in my heart were washed away with the tears.

The "pus" in his heart has finally been healed.