51

Capítulo 49

Of course, I have a certain degree of respect for Guan Haifa, but it's hard to say I admire him much more.

When you watch a little black cat play with a ball of yarn all afternoon with great enthusiasm, then lie on its back sunbathing and sleeping... it's really hard to completely respect it, even if you know it's the "real cat" that dares to call the Southern Yan Emperor a silly big guy.

A real cat, what an unsolvable mystery!

Xu Rujian not only imposed restrictions, but also destroyed some feng shui (he probably thought it was to strengthen the defenses...). Almost all the altars I had placed before were destroyed. That was the result of more than two years of work. The thought of starting all over again made me tired.

I'm not very good at feng shui, so I was relying entirely on instinct. Luckily, the old man gave me some pointers, and the local residents helped me, which sped things up a bit. But then a new rumor started circulating at the school, saying that our school had become the River of Three Crossings, and that ghosts were stacking stones there every night.

…Hey classmate, the Sanzu River is in Japan. Don't let your migration be so smooth.

The principal went to Shuo's house to visit the distraught Xu Rujian, but a new misunderstanding arose. He trembled with fear, grabbing me and bowing repeatedly, "Our school's students have become so vicious! Even professionals can't handle it..." He was almost crying, "Lin Moniang... I mean Lin Hengzhi, please, please continue working!"

Huang E laughed so hard he almost fell over. Though it was embarrassing, I didn't reveal the truth. Oh well, misunderstandings are easier to resolve than to explain.

I took on another job. This time, I didn't dare complain about the hard work and did my best to restore the school to its former glory. The restrictions at Old Demon's place were the most troublesome. Xu Rujian knew that Old Demon was the biggest boss, and the restrictions he had added were hundreds of layers deep, making it more tiring than defusing landmines. It was Tang Chen who patiently and slowly dismantled them, taking three days to finish.

The old devil looked haggard and disheveled. He was already suffering too much from being imprisoned, and now he had been humiliated like this. I couldn't help but shed tears.

"Girl, what's there to cry about?" he said awkwardly. "You're not dead."

"...I'm sorry, Mr. Old Demon. Humans don't know how to respect...and they still humiliate us like this."

He became even more uncomfortable and said gruffly, "It's the Taoists who don't know how to respect others, it has nothing to do with you, why are you crying? Annoying!" He then used the excuse of needing to rest to kick us out.

I translated it for Tang Chen, and he laughed. "...Indeed, all living beings have feelings."

"…yes."

Until Xu Rujian regained consciousness and was kicked out by Shuo, I was still struggling to keep up with my illness at school, and I hadn't even completed two out of ten shifts.

But I dared not complain of being tired, not even a little bit.

Of course, Xu Rujian's "brilliant" performance and Shuo's calm and collected responses really scared Tang Chen and me.

But afterwards, Shuo and Uncle Shi didn't say anything. You know, Tang Chen and I are such shy people, how could we be so naive as to ask our elders about such a thing?

Only Tang Chen and I, idly chatting while swinging on the swings in the rare winter sunshine, could hear Uncle Shi and Shuo talking through the hedge.

"Being too charming can be a real headache," Shuo said casually.

"...But I didn't do anything." My uncle's voice sounded genuinely troubled. "He's three years younger than me, and I've barely even spoken to him. Sigh..."

Shuo laughed, "That's why I'm like this, even though I haven't done anything. How could I stand it if you did something?"

Tang Chen and I exchanged a glance. Although we shouldn't have, we kept quiet, stood up from the swing, and craned our necks to look at the other side of the hedge.

To be honest, Shuo and her uncle's relationship had always been lukewarm; I'd never seen them display any deep affection. Now, in the herb garden, they weren't holding hands or embracing. Her uncle simply removed a leaf from Shuo's hair, letting it slide lightly down her arm. Shuo brushed her loose hair aside, glanced back, and smiled.

For some reason, Tang Chen and I felt like two boiled lobsters, completely red. Shrinking our necks, we tiptoed back into the house.

This French kiss, where the two people are entwined like candy, makes one blush and their heart race even more.

We were both incredibly embarrassed and remained silent. Tang Chen cleared his throat. "Uh, do you really think the story of the Three Heroes fighting Lü Bu actually happened?"

He was just jumping around so drastically that I couldn't keep up. It took me a while to realize he was trying to change the subject to avoid the awkwardness. But wasn't that a bit too forced? I laughed.

"Of course there are, but it shouldn't be Liu Bei, Guan Yu, or Zhang Fei," I said.

"You need to have evidence to say that." Tang Chen's cheeks were still slightly flushed.

“Come on,” I stuck out my tongue at him, “I’ll check for you.”

Later, we agreed to go to the library, stood next to the bookshelves, and bickered quietly while looking up books.

Shuo is truly a charming yet detestable witch. While bickering with Tang Chen, a smile secretly crept onto her face. I think Uncle Shi, who held onto the city walls for so long, must have died willingly, right?

But Uncle Shi didn't stay long. He vaguely said that if he stayed away from Tainan for too long, it would take more time to control the situation, and there would be more unstable variables, so he had to go back.

He hugged me again, remained silent for a few seconds, which brought tears to my eyes. He then touched Tang Chen's hair before calmly saying goodbye to Shuo and leaving.

Shuo leaned against the door, quietly watching him leave. There was no goodbye kiss, no lingering reluctance. They were from the older generation, after all.

But for some reason, the way Shuo Yimen looked at his uncle's back was more moving than anything else. It was as if something bittersweet had been stirred up in his heart, yet it calmly blended together.

***

We originally thought that Xu Rujian would simply walk out of our lives and we would never see him again. After all, his cultivation was completely destroyed, and the Yan Emperor was probably too busy to care about us insignificant people.

One morning, just before winter break, Tang Chen and I were busy in the front yard. I was sweeping the floor with a bamboo broom, while Tang Chen, covered in dirt, was changing the oil on his beloved Harley. He was chattering away about how a mountain king wanted to marry a fox spirit as his eighth concubine, but the fox spirit tricked him and he was almost beaten to death by his first wife and seven concubines.

Looking up blankly, I saw Xu Rujian standing in front of the carved iron gate of the courtyard.

I screamed (after all, my heart was deeply wounded), and Huang E flew up with a thud. She hadn't fully recovered from that battle, and her golden light, which had been dim, now shone like Philip, her fighting spirit soaring to the sky. Tang Chen scrambled to his feet, snatched my bamboo broom, and blocked our way.

Me? Haha… I cowardly hid behind Tang Chen, trembling with fear. (covers face)

"What are you doing here?" Tang Chen shouted. He usually thought Tang Chen was gentle and refined, but it was only at this moment that Tang Chen realized he was a boy.

It was only then that I noticed Xu Rujian looked listless, as if he had just recovered from a serious illness, and he was even walking unsteadily. But he still looked at me and Huang E with disdain, remaining silent.

"Uh, Xiao Chen, don't be nervous," Uncle said somewhat awkwardly. "Put the bamboo broom down first."

That's when I saw my uncle following behind, along with an elderly gentleman in a sharp suit. These days, not many people wear bow ties; at least, I rarely see one.

His hair and beard were completely white, and his eyes were sharp, but apart from the unavoidable crow's feet, his skin was smooth, like that of a young man. But his sharp gaze only lasted until he saw Huang E.

Upon seeing Huang'e, all I could think of was a dog with meat bones. He pounced on her, pushing Tang Chen aside, his eyes brimming with tenderness, "What a gentle and beautiful lady! May I know your name?"

Gentle and pure? Beautiful? But the direction he reached out was definitely towards desolation and calamity... I didn't know that desolation and calamity could be considered as one of those four words.

"...What should we do?" I was a little worried; this old man was too strange. "Don't answer him."

"Do you think I'm afraid of these old fogies?" Huang E puffed out his chest and said arrogantly to him, "Huang E."

As things unfolded, the faces of everyone present turned pale.

The old man stretched his hand into the air, spun around on one leg, and crossed his arms over his chest. "What a beautiful name! It fills my heart with a sweet and happy feeling..."

Huang E almost slid off my left shoulder, and Tang Chen and I both gaped open.

"Master!" Xu Rujian shouted weakly, "Don't be so embarrassing, okay?"

"Senior brother..." Uncle Shi's face flushed slightly, "That's my little disciple's shikigami, please control yourself a little, okay?"

...Could this be my senior martial brother?

"Little disciple?" My master turned to me, and I felt like a mouse being watched by a cat; the hairs on my body stood on end. "Xu Bai, what happened to you..."

"Please don't blame Uncle!" I forgot my fear. "Uncle took me in for a reason..."

"Of course I blame Xu Bai!" My master grabbed my hand. "How could he hide such a gem! So unpolished, so lovable... Come be my disciple, my dear."

"Senior brother!" Uncle Shi raised his voice, "Don't extend your evil clutches to Hengzhi, she's my disciple!"

Tang Chen, his face ashen, pulled his hand away and shook it gently. "Hello, Uncle."

"Senior brother, this is my best friend..." Uncle Shi was about to introduce them when Uncle Shi interrupted him perfunctorily, "Alright, alright, whatever... Would you two lovely ladies like to go for a drive with me?"

…Is this really my senior brother, my great-uncle's senior brother? I guess everyone present must have had the same question.

Shuo was still able to keep the situation under control. She came out when she heard the commotion, her big eyes sparkling, and that alone was enough to quell the unrest. She looked at her uncle, who touched his nose.

Master Uncle stared blankly at Shuo, "This beauty..."

Uncle Shi said seriously, "Senior brother, Shuo is my fellow cultivator." Only a little red on his ears betrayed his feelings, but his expression was completely open and honest.

Shuo smiled calmly and extended his hand to his senior uncle, "Yes, I am a fellow cultivator of Xu Bai."

His senior apprentice gripped his hand absently, pausing for a few seconds before letting go, a look of disappointment on his face. "Logically speaking, one shouldn't trifle with a friend's wife, let alone a brother's," he said, tears welling in his eyes, "but I really wanted to be impolite..."

"Master!" "Senior Brother!" Uncle Shi and Xu Rujian shouted together.

This lecherous old man is said to be my uncle's senior brother. This is also the first time I've learned that their sect isn't entirely made up of monks; there's also a type of "cook-head Taoist priest" who has a family and a livelihood.

This senior monk, also known as the "cook-head Taoist," is said to have so many girlfriends that he needs a truck—a ten-wheeled truck, no less—to transport them all. He has not only been married three times, but is currently single, though he has no children.

“Ru Jian is my child, so why would I need any other children?” he said shyly.

"I don't want to be your kid!" Xu Rujian shouted at him, trembling with anger. "I don't want to be your disciple, you old scoundrel! I want Senior Xu Bai!"

His master looked at him with teary eyes, "Why did you hurt me like this? What's so good about that stupid guy Xu Bai who became a monk? Didn't I take you to San Francisco? You can choose whatever you like, why do you have to have that idiot?"

"I don't like men!" Xu Rujian slammed his fist on the table. "I only like Senior Xu Bai!"

Uncle Shi silently sipped his tea, and Shuo naturally sat down beside him, placing his hand on his arm. Such a simple gesture made Xu Rujian clutch his head and scream.

I must say, Shuo is a truly formidable character.

Tang Chen and I were caught in a dilemma: whether to leave or stay. Feeling restless, we lowered our heads and drank our tea.

"Ru Jian, stop acting recklessly," Uncle Shi scolded. "Don't you see how hard your senior brother has worked for you, traveling all over the world? You should at least show some respect for your elders!"

"This is more useful than an imperial edict," Xu Rujian said, bowing his head with a look of fascination, as obedient as a primary school student.

Although my uncle appeared calm, I felt that he was probably covered in goosebumps.

"Oh right, I almost forgot why I came here." Uncle-Master scratched his head. "It's been so long since I've felt such a magnificent atmosphere..." Seeing Uncle-Master glaring at him, he coughed. "I wonder if I could ask to see the real cat?"

Shuo smiled slightly, “It’s inevitable to spoil the younger generation. But I remember a Taiwanese proverb that says, ‘Spoiling a pig will lift up the stove, spoiling a child will make him unfilial.’”

Tang Chen and I endured it all, trying our best not to laugh. The witch has always been very vengeful. Out of respect for her uncle, she tolerated Xu Rujian's shouting, but how could she not retaliate?

Uncle Shi drank tea to hide the upturned corners of his mouth, but Master Shi laughed loudly, making Xu Rujian's pale face almost turn black.

“Now I finally understand how Xu Bai, who has persisted for decades, suddenly started ‘co-cultivating’.” Master’s eyes sparkled. “Miss Shuo, you are truly captivating.”

He patted Xu Rujian's head, "Yes, that kid is stubborn and inflexible. After teaching him for so long, he's only learned all my techniques and memorized a bunch of useless precepts. But he's still my disciple. As the saying goes, 'If the teacher isn't strict, it's the teacher's fault.' Whatever wrong he's done, it's ultimately my fault..."

"No way!" Xu Rujian roared, staring intently at the table. "I just think your approach is too long-winded. Why not just cut the weeds at the root? I brought this on myself, so please don't take it out on yourself!"

Shuo pressed his lips to his lips, tilting his head slightly as he looked at Xu Rujian. "So there's still hope."

“You said there’s hope, so I can’t really say no,” Guan Haifa said, yawning as he slept by the windowsill. “How are you going to persuade me? Like the sound of pine trees on an autumn night?”

The senior master was startled and stared at Guan Haifa for a long while. "...The real cat is indeed sharp." He took out a small box, inside which were two pills with strange fragrance and aroma. "This is a gift, the Enchanting Elixir."

"Oh..." Guan Haifa pursed his lips. "You've done your homework."

Master Uncle lowered his head and smiled.

"Let him start cultivating again, but we will not return his lost cultivation." Guan Haifa said calmly, "At most, I will plead with the big idiot to let him go without punishment. But if he does anything wrong and it reaches my ears... it would be better to cut it off and start over."

Master Uncle breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you so much, Zhenmao."

"Don't come looking for me again. If you do, the agreement is null and void." Guan Haifa said with annoyance, "This isn't a vegetable market." She jumped out of the window.

Later I learned that the so-called "Meili Pill" was a miraculous elixir of immortality from the demon race. Two pills were given to me and Huang'e respectively. It turned out that Guan Haifa only reluctantly intervened because of us.