51

Capítulo 63

Seeing that the prince was about to offer Him the seat of honor, I tried to sneak away... but He saw me. "Oh, there's a human child here. Is it a witch? I haven't seen one in so long." He sat down next to me. "Everyone, squeeze in a bit, let's get closer. I came late and came empty-handed, so let's drink three big cups!"

Without waiting for a reply, He downed three cups in one gulp, breathing out a very happy puff of air. I looked at His arm; sure enough, it had raccoon skin. I felt a little dizzy.

Tai Feng chatted and drank with everyone in a very pleasant manner, and even had time to talk to me. Since His arrival, the atmosphere at the banquet has become warm and lively, filled with laughter, and everyone (God?) felt a sense of peace and joy in their hearts.

He casually put food in my bowl, not minding that I was human at all, and told me a lot about his travel experiences. He said that he had been governing the territory of the Empire for a long time and was extremely bored. This time, he took a long vacation to relax and went to many places.

He sniffed my forehead, “…This brat, having a good time on earth, doesn’t even think about how exhausted I am, and still not going home.” He shook his head and shrugged at me (it really feels strange to hear an ancient god shrug), “So, how’s that brat?”

A chorus of coughs erupted from the deities at the banquet, one after another. The prince simply stood up and wished Lord Taifeng good health.

"Why are you all singing praises out of the blue..." Tai Feng chuckled. "Yes, yes, I always forget that He repented for the past. We can't mention it. I'll punish myself with a whole jar." He readily drank the entire jar.

I think I must have looked terrible, because the old man pinched me and whispered to me not to faint.

Many things are best left unthought of. But I can't simply erase those memories from my head.

When the Classic of Mountains and Seas was written, the imperial platform of the Heavenly Emperor had mysteriously disappeared, leaving only a few gentle traces of Him.

It turns out that His territory was under the administration of Taifeng, who may have also inherited the position of a regional celestial emperor. Therefore, the prince greeted Him with "imperial rites".

He even asked me if that "brat" was any good!

No, no, no, I don't want to think about it anymore.

Tai Feng patted my shoulder, and my previously flustered mind calmed down as a result. "It's too much of a strain for you to be a shaman with your physique."

“Lord Taifeng,” the old man wiped the sweat from his brow, “this child is a minor deity’s shaman.”

"Not that brat?" He was taken aback.

“Uh…” The old man scratched his head, “Please allow me to appeal.”

They began to chatter about my story, making my face burn. When they heard "I'll lend you my name," they laughed so hard they slapped the table (…), and when they heard about my farewell to my mother and father, they wiped away tears with their sleeves. The prince jokingly talked about my "clever scheme" of acting as a matchmaker, and they spat out their wine.

As for me, I was so ashamed that I just wanted to crawl under the table.

"No wonder that brat hasn't come back when he should have." Tai Feng burst into laughter. "If it were me, I wouldn't have come back either."

"Lord Taifeng!" all the gods at the banquet called out to Him.

“Alright, alright,” He wiped away the tears of laughter, “This is really interesting, child, it’s really interesting.”

I don't find it "really interesting" at all!

He smiled and took out a small, round stone, much like a chess piece, emanating a faint spiritual aura. "Eat it."

This is probably... "The Chess Game of the Imperial Court". But how do you eat a stone...? I put it in my mouth.

This is the best thing I've ever eaten in my life. How to describe the taste… it's somewhat like mint soup, but infinitely varied and wonderfully delicious. My originally fine scales have even become finer, more like human skin. The old, throbbing wound has completely healed.

It's like a chaotic state of health being brought to a stable state.

That's amazing.

He gently patted the top of my head, his eyes crinkling with laughter. "Please, forest breeze."

I returned home in a daze that day, and when I came to my senses, I was already at my doorstep. I had somehow walked all the way down the mountain from the old man's house.

Perhaps they were too shocked.

"Hengzhi!" Tang Chen threw down her textbook and rushed downstairs. "Didn't I tell you to call me on your cell phone so I could pick you up? How did you get back? Who brought you home?"

I gripped his hands tightly with a solemn expression, “…Tang Chen, please don’t become a monk. I will protect you and let you live a long and healthy life.”

I don't care what he was in his past life! In this life, he's the most important person to me, Tang Chen!

He stared at me for a while, then touched my forehead. "You don't have a fever. Could it be that you're actually completely drunk even though the prince's wine doesn't make you look drunk?"

"…………"

I found that my headache was really bad.

(After the banquet)

Part 5 Graduation Season

Now that I've handed over my "part-time job" to my junior, and thanks to my senior's previous "separation of the human and the ghost," the original inhabitant has recently become obsessed with other new things. Although my grades are abysmal, thanks to Tang Chen's inclusive teaching, the teachers' pity for my weak constitution, and the principal's kindness, my almost-fallen grades were given extra points, allowing me to barely pass.

It seems like everything is peaceful and prosperous, and I can retire comfortably and wait for graduation... Yeah, right.

First, there was the graduation photo incident.

Our school mandates the production of standardized graduation yearbooks, so every class has to obediently take a group photo and submit it to the school administration for processing. While other classes were fine on the first try, our class had to take six photos and had four different photographers.

Those six graduation photos were circulated and became a hot topic as some kind of ghost story. It was only through the school's desperate efforts to suppress the rumors that the matter was brought down.

Tang Chen and I are graduating, and these native residents are incredibly reluctant to part with us and are extremely enthusiastic. Not to mention Huang E, even Master Zhao and the others came to join in the fun. I thought the gentle and respectful King Ren and the steady and reliable Earth Lord would be more sensible, but in the "supernatural graduation photo," I saw a tiger's tail and the Earth Lord's sleeve.

No matter how much I yell or curse, they just can't resist coming over to join the fun. I can't exactly rub salt into their wounds, can I? Look at these innocent and pitiful eyes (even though some of them are practically popping out of their sockets), how can you bear to do that?

With no other options, my classmate was so frightened that he cried out in terror, so I had no choice but to complain to the old man.

"What's wrong with taking their pictures?" The old man glared at me. "Humans always make a fuss over nothing!"

…I forgot that the old man was very protective of his own.

I racked my brains and decided to take the graduation photos in the small office. Old Mo was steady and wouldn't try to steal the spotlight from me; he was also very imposing, so the original residents didn't dare follow and just stood far away complaining. I had to coax Huang'e a lot before she reluctantly transformed into human form and entered the frame. The classmates were all amused and happy that their little cousin was willing to take a photo with them.

But I missed a step in my calculations.

As we sat in a row waiting for the photographer to press the shutter... he fainted. When he woke up, he refused to do anything, pointing to the sky and swearing that an "ET" had appeared out of thin air, walked in front of the lens, and stared at him with terrifyingly large eyes.

So we got a fifth photographer.

“…Ah Jia!” I really wanted to grab him and smash him to death.

"Master, what are you playing? I want to play too." He leaned against the camera lens, peering intently inside. "There were eyes just now, but where are they now?"

“Girl, don’t blame me.” The old demon sighed deeply. “This idiot even dared to grab my beard and ask why it’s black…and even compared it to the old earth god. I can’t do anything with him.” He paused for a moment. “You should take an intelligence test before you choose your ghost messenger.”

I was on the verge of tears.

After much agonizing thought, I said I wouldn't take any more photos. If I wasn't in the group, no one would try to steal the spotlight, and the photos wouldn't turn into eerie images.

But I said I wouldn't take the photo, and Tang Chen said he wouldn't either. When the two of us said we wouldn't take the photo, about half the class also said they didn't want to take it either.

I'm very touched... but the problem still needs to be solved, right?

I sincerely negotiated with the indigenous residents and finally settled on a solution that was acceptable to both sides.

So our fifth photographer calmly and peacefully took our class's graduation photo in the courtyard, without any incident. After the photo was taken, the whole class scattered like birds and beasts, leaving only Tang Chen and me to move to the very center of the first row to sit down.

You know, we were classmates for four years, and everyone developed excellent survival instincts.

"Want more photos?" the photographer asked, puzzled. "Just the two of you?"

I chuckled awkwardly, and the class representative, standing some distance away, called out, "Could you please take a picture with your eyes closed? Make sure all the empty spaces are in the frame!"

"Why are you closing your eyes..." the photographer muttered, taking beautiful photos of me and Tang Chen, and the empty seats.

I should be glad the photographer's birth chart is so unlucky that it can't be seen. But I heard that when the photos were developed, this photographer with such a bad birth chart went to have his spirits quelled.

I took this "graduation photo" home. They really tried their best, using their meager cultivation to make themselves appear clearer. So it became a "supernatural version of the Night Parade of One Hundred Demons graduation photo," with even Nioh spreading his forelimbs, and the Earth Spirit shyly covering his face, extending his index and middle fingers to make a "ya" sign with this bunch of ridiculous guys.

A-Jia jumped onto Tang Chen's head, looking both excited and confused; he probably didn't understand what we were doing either. Huang E struck a seductive pose, his posture obscuring Zhao Ye's face behind him. There were severed hands, severed heads, necks three feet long… bizarre and grotesque figures; anyone with a weak heart would definitely need to be rushed to the hospital.

This is... my youth? The end of my precious college life?

I don't know whether I should cry or laugh.

This graduation photo incident brought my previously dormant "supernatural girl" reputation back into the spotlight for quite some time. My juniors followed me curiously, whispering among themselves, and some even started asking me if I could do favors or curse people.

…I absolutely refuse to be a charlatan.

"Why struggle?" Huang E had been laughing for days, and now he was laughing even louder. "Anyway, you're already pretty much a charlatan... I think all charlatans are fat and living quite comfortably. Anyway, you probably won't find a good job after graduation, so you might as well just..."

Seeing that no one was around, I grabbed her by the neck and shook her violently. She screamed and yelled, while Tang Chen tried to persuade me to let go, laughing as she did so.

This is actually my youth, this is actually a portrayal of my college life! I've been to college for four years, but I haven't learned much in terms of practical coursework, only my charlatan skills have improved steadily!

How can anyone not be saddened by this?!

***

Just when things had calmed down a bit after the graduation photo incident, the dreaded graduation trip is here again.

I absolutely refuse to go this time. Don't think I don't know just because you're keeping it from me. These damned guys somehow found a voodoo priest and are planning to have a "climax" during our graduation trip.

Go to hell! What a bunch of clueless classmates who can't learn anything! I feel like dying just from messing with all the gods and beings of the East. Who wants to be in harmony with them and create a magical United Nations? Shuo said it's okay if I don't go, which makes me even more determined not to go, even if it means death.

"When you come back, I'll perform a ritual to exorcise your spirits for free," I said in a menacing, charlatan-like tone. "But I absolutely refuse to go."

I refuse to do as you wish and go to some kind of magic car battle!

Finally, Tang Chen came to my rescue. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "We have our own graduation trip, so we won't be going with you guys."

The students were speechless, then began to whisper and chuckle. "...Since that's the case, you guys have fun..." the class representative said earnestly, patting Tang Chen on the shoulder. "You know, a real man has to take precautions. If someone gets hurt... you guys are really something, together for so long... you haven't even reached third base yet?"

…Do these guys even have anything serious in their heads?

Tang Chen kept smiling that day, but I felt increasingly depressed.

"...The seawater in Kenting shouldn't be too cold now," he said. "I'll be fully equipped...for a water fight."

"If you want to fight, then come sooner!" I retorted, clearly displeased.

He laughed and ruffled my hair. "They're just... curious and kind-hearted."

“Even mortals can't stand it anymore, let alone me,” Huang E sighed. “You're not worried, but those of us watching are burning with grief…”

"Wait, I'm going to put you on the barbecue grill and burn you inside and out! Don't run away!"

While my classmates went on their graduation trip, Tang Chen and I packed a few bags and planned to go to Kenting. Ever since I took that "Emperor's Chess," following the Golden Elixir, I haven't coughed for such a long time, which is rare, and my chronic stomach pain has also disappeared without any medicine.

While others desperately want to lose weight and become immortal, I'm moved to tears looking at the few extra pounds I've gained. I don't really care what others think; maybe being chubby will actually make it easier to buy clothes. With my skinny frame, children's clothes are too short for me, and teenage clothes hang loosely on me. Even when I try on underwear, the sales assistant at the counter sighs.

“Being a little chubby is good,” Tang Chen said, patting my arm as we sat side by side on the tour bus. “It feels better to touch.”

I punched him twice. "What are you patting? Pork?"

After holding back for a moment, he burst out laughing, “...I’ve never seen such a severely malnourished pig.”

I threw a bottle of mineral water at him, and he just burst out laughing.

"You've gone astray!" I said sadly. "Now you laugh at me so much! You used to be so gentle and kind..."

“He’s a guy,” he rubbed his nose, “I’m just an ordinary guy. I’ve never thought of bullying anyone except you.”