Kapitel 88

Four years ago, with the support of Shaolin, Liu Hua created his own sect, Huajianzhuang, which grew in size and strength day by day. In the past two years, he has clashed with Chonghuo Palace several times, vying for the right to annex the sect and trade with it.

When Liu Hua returned to the martial arts world, it aroused a lot of suspicion. Her past with Xia Qingmei was not forgotten either. But time can heal all wounds, and with Shi Yan as a strong backing to dispel rumors, she quickly returned to her normal life.

She excelled at everything a woman of traditional virtues and obedience was good at, but she was clearly lacking in ability when it came to factional struggles. Several times she met Chong Xuezhi on grand occasions, but Xuezhi hardly paid any attention to her. She also often couldn't get a word in edgewise during conversations with the leaders of various factions, which frustrated her greatly. She was determined to prove herself superior to Chonghuo Palace and Xuezhi.

Last December, Liu Hua came to see Xue Zhi.

At that time, Xuezhi had almost completely retired from the martial arts world and hadn't been seen for several years, so when she saw Liu Hua, she hardly recognized who she was. Time flies, and five years had passed. Liu Hua's appearance was still beautiful and gentle, but she was clearly no longer the tender young girl she once was.

Liu Hua always spoke very slowly. After Xue Zhi's patience had almost run out several times, she slowly recounted a story that broke Xue Zhi down. After she left, Xue Zhi remembered nothing except two sentences she had said.

The first paragraph reads: "If Shangguan Tou didn't tell you something, then I will. After all, you'll never have the chance to hear it from him again—he and I already have a child. I once asked Shangguan Tou to divorce you, and he said he would consider it. But I think men are always looking for something better, and he probably wouldn't even mention it to you. But I was much luckier than you. During my pregnancy, I heard that the young master planned to kill Shangguan Tou, and I immediately and decisively ended the life of the baby in my womb. Otherwise, this child would be the same age as your Shi'er by now."

Shocked by Shangguan Tou's transformation into a cripple, Xuezhi almost forgot about his earlier promise to divorce her. She firmly believed it was just an excuse he made up to keep her out of danger.

In short, everything about him was good when she felt she was about to lose him.

After hearing about this, she was determined to go back and find out the truth. Because of his health, she couldn't abandon him again. However, before she could even figure out how to tell Shangguan Tou, Liu Huayou told her the second thing:

"The person who is inseparable from you and as harmonious as a zither, you will probably never know who it is. Because Shangguan Tou died long ago."

A light drizzle began to fall in Suzhou. The Weaponry Ranking Conference was just days away; the city was bustling with activity, and the city gates were teeming with carriages and horses. Yet the rain fell slowly and weakly, as if it had lost all its strength.

At the waterway gate, Xuezhi, Muyuan, and Chongshi sat quietly on the boat, waiting in line to leave the city. The complaints and laughter on the shore seemed dozens of miles away from her.

At first, she refused to believe a word Liu Hua said. But after calming down, she realized she had noticed Shangguan Tou's unusual behavior. She believed that the awkwardness between them and their incompatibility in bed were due to his disability.

Nevertheless, she still refused to believe it—until she mustered the courage to speak with the disabled man.

"Tell me, are you really Shangguan Tou?"—that's what she asked him.

Tears welled in the disabled man's bright eyes. She felt a growing fear in his long silence. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She stood up, frantically shaking his shoulders, and asked if he was Shangguan Tou.

He remained silent. He remained silent.

This time it was Xuezhi's turn to go find Liu Hua.

Liu Hua told Xue Zhi that the cripple was her arrangement. With Shi Yan having completed his great cultivation and receiving orders from the young master, Shangguan Tou had no hope of survival. However, to prevent the Xue Palace Master, who had just lost her young son, from despairing too much, she left "Shangguan Tou," who had been a living dead for a long time, on the banks of the Bright River.

Later, she asked Liu Hua many questions. For example, where was Shangguan Tou's body, why did they kill Shangguan Tou, what was their purpose, and who was the young master?

But Liu Hua just kept smiling, her smile as beautiful as a flower, yet she was also cruel and arrogant.

Afterwards, Xuezhi refused to eat or drink for several days, locking herself in a small room. Just when everyone in Chonghuo Palace thought she was contemplating suicide, she suddenly rallied and announced her return to the martial world.

As long as a person is alive, there must be something they want.

Yes, she wanted to kill three people.

One of them is Fengcheng.

One is Shi Yan.

The other one is "Young Master".

Although she was in the open while he was in the shadows, and she could die at any moment from his hidden arrows. Although she didn't even know who the young master was.

Ahead stretched a long, winding river, behind them lay the bustling city of Suzhou. The sound of beaded curtains rustling in the gentle breeze and light rain was crisp and ethereal. Xuezhi sat at the bow of the boat, holding an oil-paper umbrella.

"I think Suzhou is really fun, Uncle Mu. Why don't we stay a few more days?"

"Because we're going to the Weapon Ranking Tournament to fight bad guys in a few days," Mu Yuan's deep voice softly echoed in the boat's awning. "If you'd like, how about Uncle Mu takes you there after the Weapon Ranking Tournament?"

"Um!"

The painted beams and red windows on both banks had disappeared from view. All that remained was the sight of willow branches, misty trees, green grass, and fragrant lotus blossoms. Xuezhi felt a little tired and leaned against the side of the cabin, closing her eyes to rest.

Sleepiness became more and more pronounced, and consciousness became increasingly blurred.

I don't know how much time passed.

"Zhi'er." Someone gently shook her shoulder.

"I'm so sleepy, let me sleep a little longer." She shrugged.

"Zhi'er, don't sleep here, you'll catch a cold."

She hadn't heard that voice in many years. It was the voice of a very young and pleasant-sounding man, yet not frivolous, a voice that always made her heart race.

It took her a long time before she suddenly realized whose voice she was hearing.

She sat up immediately.

But there was no one around. The drizzle continued to fall silently, raindrops clinging to her cheeks and eyelashes. A grey haze surrounded her, and the dim lights of the riverbanks and passing boats swept past. Disappointed, she leaned back, only to hear that voice again:

"Zhi'er".

This time she reacted quickly, immediately standing up and looking around. But still no one was there. She stood up and lifted the beaded curtain to look inside the boat awning.

Mu Yuan and Chong Shi have disappeared without a trace.

She turned around again and saw Shangguan Tou standing at the bow of the boat.

He was still dressed in white, with a long fox fur coat over it. His white woolen hat was low, partially covering his dark hair, and a few strands of his waist-length hair danced in the wind. He was as handsome and dashing as he had been when he first appeared before her ten years ago.

Xuezhi covered her lips, almost screaming.

In the hazy spring scenery, he gave her a faint smile.

She quickened her pace and rushed towards him, but stood before him, hesitant to make a move. She feared this was a dream, and that if she did anything, the dream would end.

However, he easily pulled her into his arms.

Upon smelling the familiar scent, Xuezhi choked up and couldn't utter a single word. She could only hug him tightly and call his name.

This can't be a dream; a dream can't be this real.

"I miss you, I really miss you." Xuezhi burst into tears, "Brother Tou, I miss you."

Then, she was awakened by her own crying.

The surroundings were unchanged, and her face was still streaked with tears. She was still sitting, and there was no one at the bow of the boat.

She looked around in a daze, then wiped the tears from her face. Everything had stopped, but the tears seemed to flow uncontrollably.

It's still the same boat, the same river, the same world. And so, her longing remains unchanged, engulfing her world like a tidal wave.

But he is still not here.

She had never had such a vivid dream before. So vivid that when she woke up, she felt as if he had just come to see her.

After the spring rain, the air was damp. The stars in the night sky after the rain twinkled, appearing even higher, brighter, and more beautiful. Boats swayed gently in the river, the surface of which was a deep blue, with small red lanterns on the banks casting halos of light that were then rippled by the splashes of water from the passing boats.

The air was cold, and it felt like walking through thin ice. Xuezhi hugged her knees and sat at the bow of the boat.

"Xuezhi." Mu Yuan's voice sounded behind her.

"Um."

"Come in, it's cold outside."

"Okay. I'll be there in a bit."

Since learning of his death, she has kept herself extremely busy, practicing martial arts whenever she had a spare moment to ease her grief. Therefore, outsiders couldn't detect any change in her.

It's been a long time since I've indulged myself like this in thinking about Shangguan Tou.

Her feelings for him had changed drastically. From initial admiration, to a feeling she herself barely noticed growing fond of him, to a mixture of love and hate, to pure and simple affection, and now... For the first time, she felt so deeply that even simple longing could be so painful.

This is a loss with no room for maneuver or chance for redemption. A permanent loss. The name Shangguan Tou has become nothing more than a memory and the past.

After a moment of silence, Mu Yuan stepped forward and sat down beside her.

"You may not know, but before Palace Master Lian passed away, she entrusted me with some things." Mu Yuan's voice was low, as if afraid that the child in the cabin would hear. "If you have any difficulties, let me take care of you."

Xuezhi shrank her neck and whispered, "You've always taken good care of me."

"He means he wants me to marry you."

Xuezhi paused for a moment, then said, "You've already married me."

Mu Yuan fell silent once again.

After a long while, Xuezhi said numbly, "Are you trying to say that we didn't consummate our marriage?"

“No.” Mu Yuan answered immediately, but after a long pause, he continued, “Perhaps in your eyes, I have always been a person without feelings. Or perhaps everything I have done was just what Palace Master Lian told me to do.”

"I know you really care about me."

"But Xuezhi, you have a long life ahead of you. The past is precious, but you can't spend all your time reminiscing and regretting."

“I know all these things. I want to forget him too. He's gone, and I don't care what the reason was, he abandoned me. No matter how sad I am now, he can't see it. I really don't want to think about this person anymore. But do you think I can do it?”

She turned her head, her eyes and the tip of her nose red and swollen: "Can I do it?"

All around was quiet, with only the sound of water.

Mu Yuan gazed at her for a long time, then suddenly embraced her:

“You don’t need to forget him, and you shouldn’t. But I don’t want you to be sad anymore.” He half-opened his eyes, his pupils dark and bright, glistening with tears beneath his long eyelashes. “No matter how long it takes, I will be with you.”

"Brother Mu Yuan, I'm sorry."

“You haven’t wronged me. Even if you don’t marry me, I will still help you get revenge—” He gently stroked Xuezhi’s back as he noticed her body stiffening in his arms, and said softly, “But now that we are married, I will try my best to be a good husband. I will try my best to fulfill the things that Shangguan Tou promised you but failed to do.”

171

Xuezhi's mind was a mess; all she could think of was that afternoon many years ago when peach blossoms were fluttering in the air. Shangguan Tou said he dreamed of her father and said a bunch of things to cheer her up.

Although she knew that sweet talk was Shangguan Tou's forte, and that she could only believe one out of ten things this man said, Xuezhi still listened against her will and believed him.

At that time, he held her gently, stroking her long hair, and said, "Your father said in his dream that I was ordinary. I was not happy at the time. I said, 'Lord Lian, although I am not good enough for your daughter, you are asking me to take care of her for the rest of my life. You can't treat me too badly. How about this, she marries me in this life, and in the next life, and the life after that... I will always protect her. Even if she doesn't like me, I will protect her and not let her be bullied or alone.'"

She didn't know if it was the warmth of the sunlight that day or the vibrant colors of the fluttering peach blossoms, but the smile of Shangguan Tou in her memory was elegant and gentle, so beautiful that it seemed to belong to another world.

Shangguan Tou is a complete fraud.

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