Scharlachroter Regen überflutet die Stadt

Kapitel 107

I withdrew my gaze from outside the curtain. I only saw her smile knowingly. "That's quite rare. In all these years, I've probably only been able to talk to my sister a handful of times."

She had anticipated my reaction, but she still opened up. "Ling was fourteen when she married into the Prince's mansion, the same age as the Emperor. Although she wasn't the principal wife, I was content at that time. After marriage, I struggled alone in the Prince's mansion with my humble status. I gave birth to Zhen'er when I was fifteen. I thought I had finally made it through. I devoted myself to Zhen'er, hoping that my son would gain status in my husband's heart. I devoted my youth and years to the Prince's mansion without regret, complaint, or willfulness. But after you came, I even sent away the son I had raised with such hardship."

"I don't lie. With you, I sometimes understand, sometimes I don't." Her face was still smiling, but her eyes turned cold. "You appear indifferent, yet you accomplish everything with ease. You seem distant from him, but every move you make constantly draws him towards you. I entered the palace five years before you. Five years. I poured all my energy into building the palace, exchanging five years of my youth for nothing more than his guilt. Then you came. The legitimate seat, unmatched by anyone. Although I once coveted that position, I didn't care. I had his heart. I had his five years of guilt towards me. That's all I wanted. I just can't understand what you did for him. Besides your cold indifference, what did you do more than me? How did his heart change so quietly?"

I shifted slightly, trying to keep my voice steady. "But you also gained...you gained him all those years. Although you lost your son, you gained his guilty heart. You used that heart to torment me. Even now, he still harbors some feelings for you...Giving Zhen'er to me wasn't your choice, but do you know that child is a knife to me? A knife that can wound me bloody at any moment. He is your resentment towards me. When I look at him, I think of you, of your resentful eyes, of your hatred for me. And that endless hatred is your greatest punishment for me. You...tortured me for so many years, made my heart suffer for so many years. Isn't that enough? You still won't let go?"

Yi Ling looked up and smiled bitterly. "Your Majesty, do you really think love and guilt are the same? You have no right to accuse me of using the Emperor against you. Do you think I was a favorite all those years? You're wrong. Back in the Prince's residence, the Emperor spent almost every day in his study. Because of you, I lost a healthy Rui'er... I resent you. I resent that you adopted Rui'er without any feelings; I resent that you were ungrateful and caused chaos in the Prince's residence; I resent that you caused him so many injuries. I resent that you didn't care about him at all and still occupied his position!"

I was shocked. I hadn't been shocked in a long time, and I was so ashamed that I turned pale and couldn't utter a single word to refute her. Because I had no right to refute her at all.

This woman is truly ruthless, so ruthless that she made me realize... how despicable I really am.

"Enough!" The voice trembled, as if someone had grabbed it by the throat.

The sedan chair had already landed, but I didn't leave immediately. I just looked at Ling and slowly said, "To be honest, have I been good to Jingrui?"

She trembled and remained silent for a long time. I rubbed my tired eyes and smiled, "Take care." As I spoke, I stood up. The attendant outside the sedan chair lifted the curtain; dusk had fallen. Yi Ling finally spoke, "I will do my best for Rui'er, just as you did for him."

My body stiffened, and my legs felt so heavy that I couldn't take another step. I leaned on the sedan chair railing and laughed almost inaudibly, "I've never been a good enough person, you'll definitely do a better job than me!"

He finally allowed me to move to Yongning Nunnery in the suburbs to live a vegetarian life and chant Buddhist scriptures, all as a way to pray for the emperor's success in his campaign. Only he and I knew that once this step was taken, there was no turning back. The day before I left the palace, the retired emperor summoned me to his retirement garden. This was my first time stepping into the retired emperor's garden, and I found it not as luxurious as I had imagined. When I reached the front of the building, I dared not take a step, and a sense of fear filled my heart.

After entering, I knelt down to pay my respects. After kneeling silently for a while, I heard a somewhat weary voice say, "Get up!" I stood up, still standing silently with my head down.

"Come here and let me see you."

I lowered my head, walked over and stood on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed). The emperor, who was sitting against the soft cushions, looked at me for a while and asked, "Why do you look so pale? Have you been sick?"

I quickly bowed and said, "My wife is well."

The Emperor pointed to the footstool under the kang (heated brick bed) and said, "Sit down and answer the question!" I bowed and knelt on the footstool.

"After all these years, your resentment towards me has not diminished in the slightest." He sighed softly.

"I wouldn't dare, my wife," I quickly replied.

Do you hate me?

I remained silent, my head hanging even lower.

"I first framed and wiped out your clan, so it was only natural for you to seek revenge. But in the end, you still let go. You have fulfilled your filial duty and the proper relationship between ruler and subject. You could have replaced the Lu family with the Rong family, but you didn't. I have never been able to understand why you did this. Your hatred for me... is extremely deep."

I looked up and met his aged eyes. "Because I am your daughter-in-law, because you are my daughter's grandfather."

The emperor frowned slightly. "Also for him?!"

I remained silent. The emperor chuckled softly, "You repay evil with kindness, while I remain wary at every turn, ungrateful for your kindness, and even towards your own flesh and blood..."

"Your Majesty," I whispered, unable to bear listening any longer.

"I have no choice but to..." he sighed deeply, "If it were you, you would surely be like me, because it is not legitimate, so you would do your best to protect this imperial power and not tolerate others' covetousness. Therefore... I have been wary of your Rong family in every way, and only your Rong family knows best about my usurpation of the throne. As long as the Rong family exists, I... will not be at peace. Even now, I am afraid that even if I die, I will not dare to face my ancestors, nor will I dare to face your father."

"Your wife understands, please do not say any more, Your Majesty."

"I heard you're going to leave the palace to visit a nunnery to pray for blessings?"

"yes."

He nodded thoughtfully and changed the subject, "I really like the young man in the Eighth Prince's residence. If there is an opportunity, I will invite him to the palace often."

I did not answer, and the Emperor nodded. "You...you should cherish him more."

Before I could respond, I saw that he was already tired, and he said, supporting his forehead with one hand, "Alright, you can go now."

I bowed and walked out step by step. I heard the Emperor smile faintly and say, "When I see Yue Ran, she should no longer blame me."

I slowed my pace, took a deep breath, and stepped out of the house.

At night, dressed in my finest attire, I sat by the bedside and ordered the palace servants to light up the entire bedchamber. I knew that no matter how late it was, he would come.

Around midnight, he entered the East Palace, his brow furrowed with weariness and worry. Seeing me sitting upright by the bedside, not asleep, he asked, "Is there anything else you wish to instruct me on?"

"Finally, I want to talk about politics."

He was slightly taken aback, but quickly regained his composure, his brow furrowing slightly as he chuckled and asked, "What? Do you have something to say about my personal campaign?"

He smiled calmly, not waiting for my reply, and gently unbuttoned my shirt with his long, slender fingers. My sigh was soft, "For a woman... you're willing to waste resources and cause bloodshed. Is this the bright and clear world you want, the enlightened rule you desire?!"

He seemed not to hear me, offering no reaction. As my clothes slipped off my shoulders, he pulled me into his arms, showering me with kisses. I struggled to gently push him away, but he gave me no chance. I could only laugh, "If it weren't the Dali princess being held hostage by the Mongol forces, but me instead, would you have personally led your troops to rescue me?"

He was indeed stunned, as if he was thinking, or perhaps hesitating.

I smiled. "Of course you can't, and you certainly won't... Even if I die, you'll just be a second wife, and peace will return. But she's different. Once she dies, Dali will be enraged and fight the Mongols to the death. At that point, Dali will be truly finished, with no room for maneuver. Once the Mongols completely occupy Dali, your next target will be you—protecting your woman is protecting Dali, and protecting Dali is protecting yourself. Am I right?"

“Yes.” He released me, his words firm and resolute.

"Just for yourself, where does the world stand? Waves of soldiers fought and bled for you, but they wouldn't know your good intentions. They thought you were just risking your life for a woman, one after another, shedding blood and sacrificing their lives for you. Haven't you learned your lesson from the battle on the outskirts of the city? When I stand atop the piles of white bones, my heart is filled with sorrow. Whether we win or lose, the result is the same. In this world, people will die, and countless white bones will be swallowed by the smoke of war. What you want... is a palace built for you by piles of white bones, a red carpet paved for you to reach the pinnacle of power by endless blood? Is this the world you want?"

He suppressed his pain and looked at me deeply. "This is the land. What do you think its foundation is? It's piles of bones. Without war, no one would yearn for a peaceful and prosperous world. Why did the Mongols keep fighting and killing? Because without bloodshed, they couldn't obtain that stability, that wealth. And what I did... was simply what a ruler should do..."

The bedchamber was eerily quiet, broken only occasionally by the mournful cry of a crow. Lu Li's expression was one of bewildered desolation, and he finally found three words to express his feelings: "Is it tomorrow?"

There's truly nothing left for me to say to Lu Li. Since I married him at fifteen, through five years of trials and tribulations, we've remained secretive, never once truly connecting. After a long silence, I said softly but resolutely, "Yes! Tomorrow, there will be no one in this palace who resents you, no one who hates you. Lu Li, that's enough. In this life, for you, I've suffered enough, and I've hated enough."

Looking at his lonely figure, he must be having a really hard time. But no matter how hard it is, it's his choice, and I can't be with him.

Chapter Twenty-Three: Kidnapping

Ignoring my words, she reached out and unhooked her collar, her gaze falling on the person in front of my bed. She frowned slightly and asked softly, "Why aren't you drinking today?"

Seeing my expressionless face, he took off his dragon robe with one hand and said leisurely, "Well, we'll have to drink tomorrow morning anyway."

Though he spoke, a deep weariness lingered between his brows, and his bloodshot eyes revealed that he hadn't rested for several nights. It had been three days since his last visit to the Eastern Palace; during those three days, he must have been working tirelessly day and night in the Chaoyang Palace handling state affairs. Perhaps… he should also stay in the Chaoyang Palace today to deal with some thorny state matters. Was it because of me? Or did he force himself to come?

"Are you tired?" She gently touched his face, seeing his haggard appearance. Even though she had exhausted all her affection, she couldn't help but feel a pang of heartache. If I really do leave this place, then you'll be the only one left struggling within the palace walls. Perhaps, without me, the harem will be incredibly peaceful.

He smiled, his long, slender fingers landing on my neck, gently unbuttoning one of my blouse buttons. "What, are you afraid I can't satisfy you? Don't worry—"

I gently pushed him away and said softly, "If you're tired, if you hate me, if you're fed up with me, if you don't want to touch me... then don't force yourself... you don't have to go through all this..."

His fingers paused slightly, but quickly resumed their movements. A series of delicate kisses traveled from his neck to his shoulders, finally settling on his chest. He breathed softly and said, "Tomorrow, Lu Xiu will take you to Yongning Nunnery..."

I covered my chest with my hands and pushed him away before I lost consciousness. "I'm on my period..."

He stiffened for a moment, then slowly raised his head, staring at me cautiously. "Isn't it going to be a few more days?"

My expression turned somewhat unnatural; he even remembered my birthdate so clearly.

"It was sudden." I let out a soft sigh and straightened my clothes.

He nodded, casually took off his coat, and, ignoring me, lay down on the inside of the bed. Looking at his exhausted face, I could only sigh softly and lie down beside him. For the first time, our company resulted in sleeplessness.

I left early in the morning. The sky was exceptionally clear after a recent snowfall.

He truly didn't come to see me off. There was nothing more to say. Even a farewell seemed superfluous. Xiao Yi did indeed come to fetch me. The carriage arrived at Xuande Gate. Women, adorned in their finest attire, filed out, their splendor illuminating the desolate winter air of the palace. I was slightly puzzled. Liu Shang had already whispered, "Today is the day the young ladies enter the palace."

I nodded. He, so noble, naturally desired to marry a beauty like Daiyu, reigning supreme above all others; while I, meanwhile, remained with my lamp and Buddha, accompanied only by prayer beads and scriptures. Such was my way of passing the years.

The palace gates stood tall and imposing. Looking into the distance, two familiar figures caught my eye. In the cold wind and falling snow, Xiaoyu stood there, holding the hand of that small figure. The carriage stopped outside Xuande Gate. Xiaoyu, hand in hand with Zhi'er, stood forlornly beneath the red walls.

Xiaoyu gently wiped away the tears that were about to fall. With a sorrowful smile, she said, "It's better that I'm gone. At least I'm free from this place."

I would often bring the children to visit them.

I just smiled and said, "Once you enter Yongning Nunnery, we are separated from the mortal world, and it will be inconvenient for us to meet again."

The sorrow in her eyes deepened, but she forced a smile and said, "I'm not afraid of the heavens and the netherworld, so why should I be afraid of this mortal world?!"

I reached out and brushed the snowflakes from her temple. "I'm going there for spiritual practice, what kind of mess are you making by coming here every few days?!"

Xiaoyu wiped away her tears, looked at Zhi'er beneath her, and urged him softly, "Zhi'er, say goodbye to your mother."

Zhi'er looked at me cautiously, worried that I was still angry with her. I smiled, bent down, took off the Hetian jade pendant from my neck, and gently tied it around her neck. "Zhi'er..." No matter how angry, resentful, or unwilling she was, she was still my child!

Zhi'er's eyes reddened, she buried her face in my arms, and called out stiffly, "Mother—"

I nodded slowly, steeled my heart, handed her over to Xiaoyu, got into the carriage, and let the driver drive away in a cloud of dust.

Behind me, Xiaoyu still stood watching me leave.

The carriage emerged from Xuande Gate, heading east towards the outskirts of the city. Lu Xiu, whip in hand, lifted the curtain and smiled at me, "Go to sleep first. I'll wake you when we arrive." Leaning against the soft cushions, I gradually drifted off to sleep. Perhaps because I hadn't slept all night, I slept very soundly...

He felt like he'd slept for far too long, yet the journey had been so bumpy. When he finally opened his eyes, he was startled to see Lu Xiu sleeping beside him. Shouldn't he be driving?!

Suddenly, a strange smell wafted over me—a somewhat nauseating milky scent. I sat bolt upright, lifted the curtain, and was hit by a cloud of yellow dust. Endless pastures, a cold wind, the vast desert—I had actually left the capital. Outside the carriage were tall horses, and Mongol knights guarded the carriage inside and out. I seemed to understand something. I was almost certain…we had been taken hostage by the Mongols.

I kicked Lu Xiu hard while he was still sleeping. He opened his eyes groggily, yawning, "Where are we?"

"Look at the car you're driving, you didn't even know you were being hijacked!" I glared at him.

He seemed completely unconcerned. "Could it be that my brother is joking with us? I told you he wouldn't let you go so easily."

"How many days have we been asleep?" I squinted, letting the vast desert sunset outside the curtains blur before my eyes. Being held hostage like this was actually quite comfortable. Perhaps with a hint of defiance, I thought, "What can he do if a royal concubine is lost? Is he anxious? Surely not. I'm not some princess of Dali; to him, I hold no value or benefit. Perhaps he's still planning a rescue for the princess, having completely ignored the report about the concubine's abduction."

"It's been two days." The curtain was lifted, and the woman outside didn't even look up, only saying with a dark face.

I stopped looking at her, my gaze drawn to the boundless grassland before me. This must be Cha...

It's the country. When Lu Hong was in the Golden Horde, he often heard him say that Chagatai had a vast sky, the most beautiful grasslands, the fattest flocks of sheep, and the most valiant horsemen.

“Our military camp is just ahead.” The woman turned around and looked out of the car.

"What's your name?" Lu Xiu asked lecherously as he approached and struck up a conversation.

“Eagle Song,” she replied coldly.

I pursed my lips. How could such a pretty woman have such a fierce name?

"We've arrived." She gripped the saber at her waist and jumped down before the carriage had come to a complete stop.

She knelt down with a thud and reported in a measured tone, "General, this is the woman of the Emperor of the Central Plains."

Immediately afterwards, the curtain in front of me was chopped into pieces by a long knife, and his figure gradually became clearer before my eyes.

A pair of eagle-like gray eyes, gleaming with an eerie light, met our gaze, instantly piercing through us. His face was sharply defined, a mocking smile playing on his lips, and an undeniable air of authority emanated from him. Upon closer inspection, he was surprisingly a very charismatic man in his thirties or forties.

"Oh? Yet another emperor's woman?" He lowered his head even further, his smile becoming even more sarcastic. "Nothing special!"

"You have no taste!" I glanced at him.

He looked at me, startled, and then raised his voice, "What did you say?"

"This is our Mongolian Khututai, the Grand Marshal." Yingge walked up to him at this moment, and it seemed as if he was speaking to me.

Khututai?! The only non-royal commander outside the Mongol royal family, a figure of illustrious military exploits, almost like a god of the Mongol Empire—Commander Khututai. From the twelve Khanates of the Mongol Empire to the Central Plains, his formidable reputation spread far and wide. He was known as the Guardian Eagle of the Mongol Empire, the one who once defeated the Duke of Protectorate's army of 100,000 with only a few thousand cavalry, invincible in battle, whose name struck fear into the hearts of his enemies, none daring to challenge him!

I swallowed hard. "You're really that Hudutai?!"