Feng Shui

Chapitre 18

"It's alright," I comforted the little girl, then turned to the group and said, "You gentlemen must have come for my maid, Jinse. Please be merciful and let her go."

"Miss!" Lixiang cried out anxiously upon hearing my words, stamping her feet repeatedly, unsure of what to say.

"Wow, I never expected Miss Jinse to be such a sentimental person. Alright, I promise you, as long as you're willing to come back with me and become my wife, I'll make sure this little girl is safe." The bandit leader seemed surprised, then quickly promised me, his lecherous eyes glancing at me.

"You're dreaming!" Lixiang was so angry at the bandit leader's words that she almost jumped up. She grabbed my hand and said, "Miss, let's go! At worst, Lixiang will die, but we must protect your reputation!"

"Lixiang, we can't escape." I pulled my hand away from hers. How tragic. I, Yue Jinse, have lived a life of luxury for sixteen years, only to end up like this. Oh well, it's all fate.

"You said you would never lay a hand on her?" I took two steps forward and looked up bravely at the bandit leader. Perhaps intimidated by my composure, the tall, burly man moved his lips but couldn't utter a complete sentence for a long time.

"Lixiang, run!" I shouted without turning my head.

"Miss!"

"Hurry up!" I shouted. "Did you hear me? Go back and tell my parents that I, Jinse, can never repay their kindness in raising me in this life. In the next life, I will be their servant!"

"Miss!" I bent down, picked up a small pebble, and threw it at Pear Fragrance. "Come on, did you hear me?"

“Miss…” Li Xiang sobbed, lifting her skirt and backing away until she was far away before gritting her teeth and turning to run away.

"Alright, now I'll handle our affairs," I said, clutching the hairpin I had just secretly removed from my hair in my hand. "Father, Mother, your daughter is going to die here today, you must avenge me!" Without thinking, I raised the hairpin high and plunged it into my throat.

"Giving up on life casually is not a good habit."

Suddenly, my hands burned with pain. In a dizzying moment, I dropped the hairpin and fell to the ground. Golden sunlight streamed through the branches, and amidst the golden light, I saw a handsome face smiling at me.

"Zhang Rui!" I sat bolt upright in bed, drenched in cold sweat. In the darkness, the alarm clock beside my pillow flickered faintly; midnight, yet another midnight.

****

"So you've been having the same dream every night lately?" Wang Min asked casually, carefully adding milky-white powder to one side of the scale with a spoon.

"Hmm..." I sighed, my eyes almost closing. The deep dark circles under my eyes explained why I was so tired. "I haven't had a good night's sleep in a week."

"I have that dream every night, and it's always a continuation of the dream from the previous night," I said listlessly, slumped over the lab table. "What's most infuriating is that that idiot is in my dream too!"

"Zhang Rui?" Wang Min deftly poured the weighed powder into the ramen noodles that were placed aside, stirred it, and began to eat quickly with delicate movements.

"What...did you just pour in?"

"MSG," Wang Min replied, wiping her mouth as she took a moment to speak.

"Oh..." I responded without much thought. My eccentric best friend is treated like a witch by people who don't know her well. They even walk at least three meters away from her.

"So you brought this mirror with you?" Wang Min's gaze fell on the round bronze mirror beside me. "Because Han Zhu said this mirror can let people see their past life, present life, and future life, so you suspect that your dreams are related to this mirror?"

"Hmm, although I didn't believe in these things before, it seems like this is the only thing I can suspect right now. Wang Min?" I touched my face. "Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something wrong with my face?"

"Xinluo, you're blushing." Wang Min tilted her head and looked at me for a long time before finally concluding, "You're hiding something from me."

"I didn't!" I jumped up and shouted.

"Look at your reaction, it would be strange if you didn't." Wang Min smiled maliciously. "You didn't just dream about Zhang Rui, did you?"

I gasped. This seemingly unremarkable girl with her old-fashioned black-rimmed glasses was truly a witch! I not only dreamed of Zhang Rui, but I also dreamed of... Han Zhu.

The Buddha said that causes in past lives lead to effects in this life, and retribution in the next. If this dream is true, then it can only be described as karma, that I have encountered those two again in this life and become entangled with them.

Zhang Rui is Ye Jin, a swordsman who saved Yue Jinse's life and won her heart; Han Zhu is Zhao Gong, the Minister of History, who fell in love with Yue Jinse at the imperial garden flower viewing party and eventually proposed marriage to her. Two men, two personalities: one unrestrained and free-spirited like a wild horse; the other humble and refined like the bright moon. Both men's hearts belong to Yue Jinse.

"Minmin, do you think the way things have turned out between Zhang Rui and me is because I owed him something in my past life?"

Wang Min gave me a cold glance: "What are you trying to tell me?"

“I…I just wanted to say, if that dream was real…I mean…”

"Are you saying that if that dream was real, then Zhang Rui's wrongdoing in this life was fate, and he's here to collect a debt you owed him from your past life?"

"I..." Under Wang Min's sharp gaze, I couldn't help but lower my head. "You know, Yue Jinse ultimately didn't marry Ye Jin..."

Why didn't Yue Jinse marry Ye Jin in the end?

"Because...because Ye Jin didn't come to pick her up as promised in the end."

"So, is this Yue Jinse's fault or Ye Jin's fault?"

"..."

"A young lady from a wealthy family gave up her promising future and enviable character and family background for a man with no official rank, no family background, and whose whereabouts were uncertain. Not only did she secretly pledge her life to him, but she also defied her parents, broke off the engagement, and even threatened to die rather than not marry him. She made a final bet with her parents. After all this, do you still think she owes that Ye guy something?"

I thought of Yue Jinse on the high-rise building, and the look of despair and loneliness on her face that night.

In her final gamble, Yue Jinse bet with her parents, with Zhao Gong, with her own fate, and with that man who was like the wind. Her final night; tomorrow she will marry into the Zhang family.

The news was released a month in advance: the bride's family would be marrying off their daughter on March 11th, and on March 10th, someone with ulterior motives would meet at the backyard of Zhonglang's residence, with the message that either meeting him or dying, and that they would be forever separated.

However, Ye Jin still did not come in the end.

"Perhaps Ye Jin was delayed because of something..."

"What are you doing right now?" Wang Min put down her chopsticks and sighed. "Look at what you're doing! Nie Xinluo, you still haven't woken up?"

"I……"

"You're still making excuses for that person, for his infidelity, for his lack of commitment. You're taking all the blame on yourself, blaming yourself, blaming Yue Jinse, blaming your past self for letting him down. God, I never knew someone as strong as you could be so foolish and ignorant!"

I remained silent. Wang Min was right; I still haven't forgotten him.

“Miss, oh no, Madam, the master asked me to bring this dress to you.”

I glanced silently at the light, flowing dress in Lixiang's hand. It was a plain white gauze skirt embroidered with moon-gold lily of the valley patterns, elegant and beautiful. I simply turned my head away and casually said, "Just leave it there."

"Madam, please try this on." Seeing that I ignored her, Lixiang hurriedly came over to help me change my clothes. "When Manager Zheng delivered the fabric a few days ago, didn't you take a few extra glances at this piece of fabric? Who would have thought that the master would notice it and even specially instructed someone to secretly buy it and invite the best tailor in the capital to sew this dress for you overnight, just so that it could be given to you on your birthday."

"Then thank him for me," I said coldly, without a trace of emotion. My body now belongs to the Zhang family, but my heart still belongs to the Ye family.

"Miss!" Lixiang stamped her feet anxiously. "When are you going to stop like this! You've been married for more than half a year now, and the master has been so good to you. He takes care of everything for you, from food and clothing to daily necessities, without missing a single thing. Why can't you give him a kind look? Could it be that you still have feelings for that heartless scoundrel who abandoned you?!"

"He has a name!" I roared suddenly, feeling as if a needle had been plunged into my heart, and tears streamed down my face. "Listen carefully, no matter how much Zhao Gong has given you, I will never give him a kind look in this lifetime. I, Yue Jinse, will love only Ye Jin in this life, the next life, and all eternity. Even if he dies, even if he doesn't want me anymore, he will always, always be the only one in my heart!"

With a clang, a sharp sound echoed at the door. I turned to see Zhao Gong standing there, his face deathly pale, an overturned basin at his feet, fresh fruits and vegetables scattered all over the floor. Suddenly, I felt guilty! Yet, I still cruelly asked him, "Did you hear everything?"

Seeing him nod, I felt a strange tightness in my chest, but I continued, "That's for the best. Now that we've made things clear, there's nothing to hold back. You already knew I had someone else in my heart, and this is just the truth. Anyway, I've already married into your Zhang family. In public, I'll give you face, but don't expect me to treat you any differently in private. My heart has already belonged to that person. The only person who will stay with you in this life is this empty shell of Yue Jinse!"

With a sharp "snap," I stared in astonishment at his hand raised in mid-air.

"You hit me?"

He came to his senses, looked at his hands, his expression changing from red to green, then from green to white, over and over again, as if he were thinking about something. Finally, he said, "Go away, I don't want you anymore."

"What did you say?" I couldn't believe it. This was Zhao Gong, that kind old man, and he actually said such a thing to me.

"I will finish writing the letter of divorce and have Rika take it back. You can leave now."

"I……"

"Go on, I can't stop you." He turned his back and left. But he stopped at the door: "It's getting cold, remember to wear an extra layer before you go."

I watched his figure disappear. His once tall stature now seemed incredibly small, small and forlorn.

"Ye Jin, I'm free! I want to find you, and then we can be together forever and never be apart again!" My heart cried out. Under the blue sky, I ran freely, like a bird released from its cage.

"Xinluo, I'm asking you one last time, are you willing to come back to me?"

I looked at Zhang Rui in front of me. He was handsome and tall, and for some reason, he had also gained a touch of devilish charm.

Yue Jinse left Zhao Gong and went to find Ye Jin according to her own heart, even if it offended everyone and betrayed Zhao Gong. She was simply respecting her own heart and following her own path. This kind of Yue Jinse might not be likable, but she was stubbornly endearing. And what about me? I know perfectly well that I still love Zhang Rui, otherwise I wouldn't have tolerated his infidelity time and time again. But this time, I'm truly exhausted. Arguing, breaking up, getting back together, arguing again, breaking up again, getting back together again—my heart isn't made of iron. How long can I tolerate him? I asked myself. I dared not think about the answer, so this time I was determined to leave. But now, knowing Yue Jinse's story, what should I do?

"Xinluo, you know I'm serious about you. I just can't resist those girls who throw themselves at me."

"Unable to refuse?" I pondered these four words, finding them inexplicably laughable. Unable to refuse? Things have come to this point, and you're still trying to shift the blame onto someone else? How could I have fallen for a man like this, a scoundrel!

"Xinluo, you still won't forgive me? What exactly do you want me to do?"

What should I do? I asked myself. Yue Jinse is me, and I am Yue Jinse. What would I do? What would Yue Jinse do? The mirror told me about my past life, but why did it stop before it could tell me about this life?

"Xinluo, you will be mine, you are mine alone!"

I was stunned: "What did you say, Zhang Rui?"

“I’m telling you, you’re mine alone, and I won’t give you to anyone else.” Zhang Rui laughed, pointing the dark metal tube in his hand at me.

Bang—everything was gone.

Drunk halfway up the mountain, I paused my steps and saw Ye Jin sitting in a private seat by the window, chatting and laughing. Half a year had passed, and he was still so dashing and outstanding. His smile was still bright and full of arrogance.

"Ye..." I wanted to call out, but my voice was abruptly cut off when those jade-like arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Excuse me, sir, would you mind sitting here?"

I walked step by step, around the tables and chairs, around the jubilant crowd, toward the person I had been longing for day and night.

"Ye Jin, you're really something, you can have any woman completely under your thumb." The bearded man across from me mumbled, chewing on a chicken leg.

"That woman, what was her name again, Yue... Yue..."

"Yue Jinse," the prostitute clapped her hands and exclaimed, "I got it right, didn't I? Ye Jin, you have to reward me."

Ye Jin smiled, tilted his head back, and fed a mouthful of wine to the prostitute.

I suddenly felt a chill run through me. What a terrible joke this was. I unconsciously tugged at the robe I was wearing, which Zhao Gong had put on me before I left the Zhang residence.

The bearded man, the bandit leader; the chivalrous knight, Ye Jin. A string of nouns strung together in my mind, ding-dong, ding-dong, a joyful laugh.

"Ye Jin." I straightened my clothes and walked over.

“…Jinse.” He was only slightly surprised to see me, but quickly recovered. “Mrs. Zhang, what a coincidence. Would you like to sit down together?”

I laughed too: "I'm no longer Madam Zhang. My husband's family just divorced me."

Ye Jin was stunned.

"It's for you!" I giggled, noticing Ye Jin's sword on the desk. A double-edged sword, with wings on each blade—it was a fine weapon.

"You shouldn't have given up everything for me." Ye Jin came back to her senses, and moved a few inches away as if embarrassed. "Come sit down."

The prostitute wanted to protest, but Ye Jin silently stopped her.

I, Yue Jinse, am exceptionally beautiful; how could the women of brothels compare to me?

"You can go out first." With another glance, Ye Jin understood.

"Ye Jin, do you still want me now?" After everyone left, I leaned closer to him and asked. We were so close, breathing almost touching.

"But you're already someone else's wife!" Ye Jin seemed troubled, putting his arm around my waist and tapping my nose with his finger. I remembered how he used to hold me gently, tapping my nose and scolding me for being a little rascal.

"Do you despise my body for being unclean?" I cried, throwing myself against his chest, listening to his heart pounding in his chest, one beat after another.