Young Prime Minister, a Hermit

Chapter 162

I sighed silently. Yufei is really amazing now. His pale face always wears a nonchalant smile, and his eyes, which have turned a light brown after waking up, are a faint shade of brown. You can never guess what he's thinking. But strangely, I find myself not afraid of him at all, not afraid of this unfathomable Yufei. I even have this illusion that just having him by my side makes me feel warm and at ease.

Xu Lie's hoarse voice turned into a low growl: "He already has enough power to protect you, so you don't need me anymore! So you're packing your things and getting ready to move out right away, is that it?"

I was startled; I hadn't expected him to see the luggage I'd secretly packed last night. Yes, I was moving into the Xu family's house, firstly to fulfill my final duty of mourning for Grandpa Xu, and secondly to create the illusion that Xu Lie and I had reconciled, to make Yingying lose control and to prevent the desperate Shao Junyi from harming me. However, staying here wasn't a long-term solution.

"Galan, what exactly do you want from me?" Xu Lie said silently, as if asking me, or perhaps asking himself. His hoarse voice was heart-wrenching. "What do I have to do for you to come back to me?"

I thought about it quietly for a moment, and then replied, "You sign the divorce papers, I move out, and then you can start pursuing me all over again."

I don't know why I said that. The words just came out. Maybe it was to get away, or maybe... I really did have that longing to start over.

Xu Lie paused, tilting his head as if scrutinizing the credibility of my words. His breath was very hot, touching my face; although it smelled of alcohol, it wasn't as unpleasant as I had imagined. Instead, a kind of intoxicating dampness gradually spread around me.

Xu Lie suddenly released me, shook his head with a wry smile, and staggered back to the table. He casually pulled up a chair, sat down, and continued drinking. This time, he didn't even bother with a glass, just gulping down the liquor.

I was a little doubtful, thinking that Xu Lie would agree. After all, for the past six months, Xu Lie had always gone to great lengths to be good to me, as if he would try without hesitation to get me back to his side, no matter how small the possibility.

It would be a lie to say I wasn't moved, and it would be a lie to say I felt nothing at all, but I always felt there was something between us, or rather, something between me and this city. It's only been half a year since I left, and it seems like everything has changed. I think, perhaps this is what they mean by "once you've seen the ocean, you can't be satisfied with a mere stream." We, Xu Lie and I, can never go back.

I walked to the table, took the wine from Xu Lie's hand, poured myself a glass, took a deep breath, and took a big gulp. But I felt a pungent smell of alcohol rise from my chest to my esophagus and trachea, causing me to cough violently.

Xu Lie took the wine from my hand, patted my back to help me catch my breath, and said with amusement, "You can't drink at all, why are you joining in the fun..."

Xu Lie was probably a little drunk, so his speech was incoherent and his voice was stammering. As I thought this with amusement, I realized that after the pungent sensation subsided, my whole body felt warm and comfortable, an indescribable sense of ease, as if all the sad and sorrowful memories of the past could be temporarily cast aside.

So I struggled to drink the wine in my glass, sip by sip, then snatched the wine from him and poured myself another glass.

Xu Lie stopped me from bringing the drink to my lips, his eyes reddening as he looked at me, but his voice wasn't as firm: "Don't drink..."

I pouted, stubbornly brushing his hand away, my voice trembling slightly, uttering incoherent words: "What's the point of revenge? The child won't come back, and our marriage is ultimately ruined... She used to be my best friend, we spent two years under one roof... We used to say that the three of us would get married together... Ha, what are friends anyway? More than two years of friendship couldn't withstand the temptation of power and money..."

I took a big gulp of wine, coughed, and continued, "Xu Lie, I used to love you so much, so much that the whole world only had you left... I... I even knelt on the ground begging you to stay, but in the end you still abandoned me... abandoned our child... What is love anyway? No matter how many vows of eternal love and sweet words there are, in the end they can't withstand mutual suspicion and distrust..."

"If life were only like the first time we met, would there be less hurt and more happiness? Xu Lie, I know you're desperately trying to save our marriage, but I can no longer fully trust you, or..." It's just that I can no longer love you with all my heart.

When I finished the last drop of wine in my glass, I passed out on the table. I had thought I might go on a drunken rampage, but to my amusement, I discovered a second before falling asleep that I was a very good drinker; when I was drunk, I just felt tired and wanted to sleep.

In a daze, I felt someone pick me up and whisper above me, "Galan... I'm afraid it'll be too late... When you remember him, I..."

The scalding breath landed on my face, the tip of my nose, and my lips, then was replaced by a burning softness. I made a gurgling sound and tried to turn my head away, but I was entangled by something, unable to make a sound or escape.

In a daze, I saw the blinding silver-white and familiar eyes from my dream again. The pain in my heart spread little by little, as if ice water had soaked through my body, leaving no warmth behind.

Chapter 29 Disorder (Part 2)

I struggled to get up, but the soreness all over my body made me groan softly. I let go of the blanket I was holding onto to support my body, and the blanket slipped off me.

The cold against my chest made me look down, and the image that came into view felt like a blow to the head, my ears ringing. I finally realized, with a daze, why I was cold—it was because…it was because I wasn’t wearing any clothes.

I stared blankly at the hickeys on my chest, feeling the throbbing pain in my swollen lips, and the mess beneath me that hadn't been cleaned up. Soft, even breathing came from the soft hollow beside me, and I didn't even dare turn around to look…

A mix of emotions welled up inside her, a dull ache in her chest, a suffocating tightness in her chest. One moment she wanted to laugh out loud, the next she wanted to cry. But in the end, she just gritted her teeth, grabbed a nightgown from the bedside table, and threw it on.

Just as I was about to get up and go to the bathroom to wash up, the door was pushed open. Outside, Xu's mother stood with her mouth slightly agape, staring at me in shock.

I almost wanted to bang my head against the wall and die right then and there. Before I could even come up with an explanation, the bed shifted, and Xu Lie's hoarse voice came from behind me: "Galan, what time is it..."

His voice stopped abruptly, and he had clearly seen Mrs. Xu outside the door. His breathing went from rapid to slow, and finally calmed down: "Mom, so early?"

"Uh... good morning... it's still early." Mrs. Xu quickly recovered from her shock, her eyes showing a hint of ambiguity and a touch of surprise. "You two finally... made up? Lanlan isn't moving out today, right?"

I was startled and about to speak when Xu Lie suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace from behind. His hand, which seemed to be intimately clasped around my neck, gently yet forcefully silenced me. He said calmly, "She's my wife! She's not going anywhere!"

My back was pressed against his bare chest, Xu Lie's chest broad and warm, so close I could even feel his heart pounding beneath, conveying warmth and affection. But why did I only feel cold? A bone-chilling cold.

"Okay, okay!" Mrs. Xu chuckled as she left, muttering, "Lanlan, I'll go down and tell your mom she's still waiting downstairs. Really, the young couple's quarrel... made us worry for so long. Now it's finally over..."

When the sound completely disappeared outside the door, my tears finally fell. There's a kind of pain called heart-wrenching; a kind of agony called excruciating; a kind of emotion called despair. At this moment, they were raging and clamoring within me, pressing and growing against each other. But I didn't know why.

“Xu Lie,” I called him, my voice choked with sobs but unable to diminish the coldness in my tone, “why did you do this?”

I slowly shifted my gaze, because if I lingered on one spot, I couldn't help but want to cry: "Why did you force me to hate you? Why did you force us to not even be friends?"

Xu Lie gently pinched my chin, forcing me to turn around and meet his sorrowful yet resolute eyes. His five fingers gripped my chin, and he lowered his head to kiss me, his burning lips landing on my cold and wet face.

"Galan, I have no other choice." He kissed me again and again, saying, "I have no other way to keep you by my side..."

“Galan, you won’t hate them… Shao Junyi, Fan Yingying treated you so badly, and you didn’t hate them… so how could you hate me… I’m not afraid of your hatred at all, I’m only afraid, I’m only afraid… that one day you will forget me just like you’ve forgotten him…”

I closed my eyes, clenched my fists tightly, letting my nails dig deep into my palms, letting the gentle kiss turn into a desire to plunder.

He knew that both sets of parents had always hoped that we could reconcile.

He knew that I still had feelings for him that I couldn't quite explain.

He knew my confusion, my hesitation, my loneliness.

So he drank in front of me, determined to get drunk; so he deliberately let Xu's mother see us like this; so he anticipated the night before that my mother would come at this time.

Xu Lie, you've cut off all my escape routes, leaving me with no choice but to stay by your side. You knew my confusion, you knew my love for you hadn't faded, you knew I couldn't bring myself to hate you... why did you do this to me?

“Galan, love is inherently selfish.” Xu Lie released my stiff and cold body and said in a low, hoarse voice, “No one can give love without expecting anything in return forever. At least I can’t. So, before your love for me completely disappears, I will do everything in my power to keep you by my side. Even a god or a demon cannot take you away.”

As Xu Lie spoke these resolute words, which sounded like a vow, he frowned and stared at me with such a solemn expression that it was as if the gods and demons were not metaphors at all, but people who would actually take me away.

Such a ridiculous solemnity, such a nonsensical oath, has left me bewildered.

I stared at him, stunned, then blankly fixed my gaze on his bare, smooth chest, the strong, beautiful curves of his body. He was a husband one in a million, a successful man who didn't indulge in debauchery, and a lover I might regret missing for the rest of my life.