"What are you laughing at?" Li Jun suppressed his laughter. "You can take a look at each other."
The leader and the stinky king looked at each other and laughed even louder at first, but then they realized that they looked just like Li Jun when they looked in the stream.
Seeing that the two men had turned into frowning men again, Li Jun coughed, made up his mind, and said, "You two, kneel down!"
The leader jumped up: "Why should I? There are two of us, and you're the only one here. You should kneel down!"
The arrogant king's eyes shone with admiration: "Boss is right, do you think the two of us are afraid of him alone? Boss is truly incredibly brave!" As if to reinforce the persuasiveness of his words, a loud "poof" sound came from behind him.
Li Jun and the leader walked towards the upwind side without prior arrangement, but then the wind direction suddenly changed, and an extremely foul odor lingered around their noses. If they hadn't been starving that morning, they would have vomited immediately.
After creating a distance of three zhang between himself and the stinky king, Li Jun began to brandish the short sword in his hand and said, "I'm giving you two a choice: either kneel down or die." The leader immediately recalled the pair of bright, gleaming eyes from the night and began to hesitate.
The arrogant king didn't react as quickly: "Don't worry, boss, you go first, I'll cover you. A real man would rather die than kneel."
The leader took two steps forward, and seeing that Li Jun's attention was beginning to narrow, he roared and knelt on the ground, begging, "Spare me! Don't kill me! Please, have mercy!"
The arrogant king was stunned for a moment, then immediately knelt down as well: "Boss, who is he?"
The leader said obsequiously, "This is the famous, handsome, brave and invincible...and..." After a long pause, he realized that he did not know Li Jun's name, so he changed his words and said, "Hero, please tell us your name so that we can spread your heroic deeds everywhere in the future."
The arrogant king realized what his leader meant. Since they were to be kept alive to spread the word, Li Jun wouldn't kill them now. So he echoed, "Yes, yes, I could tell you were no ordinary person the moment I saw you, hero. Look at you... look at you..." After thinking for a long time, he couldn't find the right words to embellish his limited mind, so he changed his tune, "In short, if I were a woman, I would definitely dedicate myself to you."
The leader, afraid of falling behind the arrogant king, quickly followed up, saying, "However, although I am a man, if you, hero, are interested, I am willing to offer myself..." As he spoke, he winked and gave Li Jun a very "charming" flirtatious look.
Li Jun almost vomited all over the ground. He quickly moved back a distance, making sure the two men couldn't touch him, and said, "Kill anyone who talks nonsense again! Leaving one alive is enough."
The leader glared at the arrogant king and said, "Did you hear that? You should just go die yourself and not disturb our good time! Isn't that right, hero..." As he said the last sentence, he looked at Li Jun with "deep affection" and his voice became extremely "soft and charming".
A chill ran down Li Jun's spine from his heels. He had initially resolved that he couldn't possibly use any force against these two scoundrels. He coldly snorted and said, "Shut up! Why did you ambush us?"
The two strange men exchanged a glance but did not answer. Li Jun swung his short sword and charged forward, then immediately retreated. The two strange men felt a chill on their heads as the short sword grazed their scalps, and two clumps of hair fell from their already mostly burned heads.
The stinky king was so frightened that he hurriedly pointed at the leader and said, "It has nothing to do with me, don't kill me, it was his idea."
The leader's eyes darted around, but he couldn't refute it. He could only explain, "I was blind. I mistook you heroes for bandits and tried to ambush you to rid the people of this scourge." He deliberately emphasized the words "rid the people of this scourge" and put on a pitiful expression.
Li Jun questioned them carefully and learned that the leader was named Zhao Xian, while the arrogant Wang was actually surnamed Wang and named Wang Erlei. Both of them were from Linzhou, a small city nearby. Due to years of war, although Linzhou, which belonged to the Hong Kingdom, was not directly affected by the war, it still left behind many orphans without parents. Zhao Xian and his gang were like that. They had been begging and stealing in Linzhou for a living, but recently they were driven out of Linzhou after fighting over territory with the son of a wealthy merchant. So they banded together to plunder in the mountains and fields. Little did they know that their first attack would be against the mercenary group that Li Jun belonged to.
Knowing there was a small town nearby, Li Jun felt more at ease. In chaotic times, a lone wanderer like him wouldn't be suspected, and he could inquire about Xiao Lin and the others in the town.
"Take me to Linzhou," Li Jun commanded in an unyielding tone.
Zhao Xian and Wang Erlei exchanged a glance. Zhao Xian said fearfully, "This is troublesome. If we go back to Linzhou, we will be killed by that Yuan guy."
Li Jun knew that the man surnamed Yuan he was referring to was Yuan Shihai, who had been fighting with them for territory. He said calmly, "It's alright. With me here, no one can kill you."
A brilliant idea suddenly came to Zhao Xian's mind, and he quickly nodded and said, "Yes, yes."
※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Although Linzhou is a small city nestled in the mountains, it became a vital passage connecting Hong Kingdom's capital, Haiping City, to various inland countries because most of the other more accessible transportation routes were blocked by war. This attracted many merchants and boosted the city's economy.
After walking for half a day, the three, their stomachs empty, finally arrived in Linzhou. Zhao Xian led the way while pondering how to use Li Jun to teach Yuan Shihai a lesson. Gazing at the city walls in the distance, he had an idea.
As evening approached, people who had gone out to make a living returned to the city, and merchants also rushed into the city to find lodging. Li Jun and his group did not appear lonely, but their disheveled appearance drew whispers and pointing fingers from those around them.
Zhao Xian said to Li Jun, "This... Hero Li, what should you say if the guards question you when you enter the city?"
Li Jun paused for a moment. He hadn't really considered this. If he said he was a mercenary, he would probably be immediately identified as a defeated Chen mercenary, and a large group of people would come to capture him. If he didn't say it directly, he couldn't hide his disheveled appearance no matter what.
Seeing that he couldn't answer for a moment, Zhao Xian chuckled: "It's alright, I have a way, but in that case, you'll have to admit whatever I say, otherwise you'll be exposed."
Wang Erlei said with some concern, "Boss, every time you say it's okay, I feel like it's definitely going to be something serious..."
Zhao Xian kicked him in the butt and said, "Shut your big mouth, or you'll regret it!"
Wang Erlei indeed shut his mouth, but in protest, he let out a loud fart and inhaled deeply as if in a state of great ecstasy. Li Jun and Zhao Xian immediately moved far away.
Upon arriving at the city gate, the sentries indeed paid special attention to the three oddly shaped people. Sentry A shouted, "You three, come here!"
Zhao Xian walked up to him with a grin and said, "Oh, it's Uncle Sentinel A! You haven't seen me for a few days, don't you recognize me?"
Sentinel A got angry when he heard that: "What? Uncle is fine, but Sentinel A Uncle? That's just a lazy name the author gave me. My real name should be... should be... Handsome Man!"
Sentinel B shook his head: "His name is so rustic, it sounds awful. My name is much better."
Zhao Xian, who was vomiting violently, asked in surprise, "Aren't you Uncle Sentinel B? You have other names?"
Sentinel B proudly said, "Of course, that idiot author couldn't come up with a name, but this genius certainly can."
Zhao Xian became quite interested: "Tell me about it."
“I’ve already said that,” Sentinel B said impatiently.
Before Zhao Xian could say anything more, the handsome sentry said, "His name is 'This Genius,' and you can tell he's an arrogant jerk just by the name. Ignore him. Hey, aren't you that little hooligan Zhao Xian? What brings you back?"
Sentinel Ben Genius also asked curiously, "Why are you three acting so strangely?"
Wang Erlei opened his mouth to answer, but Zhao Xian glared at him fiercely, and he shut his mouth again. Zhao Xian said arrogantly, "Isn't this better?"
The two sentries burst into laughter: "Well done! Most of your hair is burnt, you only have half an eyebrow left, and your clothes can be used as a fishing net. You look quite good!" The onlookers around them also joined in the laughter.
After they finished laughing, Zhao Xian raised his loud voice and said, "So you're all bumpkins! Our outfit is the most popular style in the capital right now. The hairstyle is called 'Wildfire Hair,' the eyebrows are called 'Single Crescent Eyebrows,' and the clothes are called 'Wind-Welcoming Coats'! This is what young masters in the capital are into right now! If you don't have the whole outfit like this, the girls in the capital won't even give you a second glance!"
The crowd listened with skepticism, so Zhao Xian continued, "With this equipment, girls will throw themselves at you like moths to a flame, keeping you so busy you won't be able to handle it all. Do you understand? I doubt you do, so even though one of you is a handsome man and the other is a genius, you're still single!"
The two sentries blushed and paled in turns. This genius, quick-witted, noticed the disdainful smile on Li Jun's face and quickly changed the subject: "You look unfamiliar. How come you're with Zhao Xian?"