"Yang Ke, is there anything else? A friend of mine needs to see me!" Tong Tong asked.
"That's all! You go ahead and do what you need to do!" Yang Ke said. "We'll talk again next time!"
"Then I'm leaving, goodbye!" Tong Tong smiled, but as she turned around, her smile was immediately replaced by tears.
Yang Ke sat there quietly watching Tong Tong leave. He felt that things had gone too smoothly today, so smoothly that it surprised him. He had originally thought that Tong Tong would have a good cry today, and that even that wouldn't solve anything, but everything was proceeding peacefully. For some reason, Yang Ke suddenly felt a little scared. He had a feeling that something was going to happen amidst this smooth sailing.
The phone rang; it was Ye Xun calling.
"Ye Xun, I've already talked to Tong Tong!" Yang Ke said excitedly.
"Really? Did you hurt her?" Ye Xun asked with some concern. She had spent a long time with Tong Tong and knew about Tong Tong's feelings for Yang Ke. In Ye Xun's own eyes, taking back her feelings from Tong Tong was an extremely cruel thing.
"Ye Xun, do you believe it?" Yang Ke said, "Everything I want to say was brought up by Tong Tong herself!"
Ye Xun was somewhat confused. She couldn't understand Tong Tong's purpose for doing this, but later she seemed to vaguely sense something.
"Ye Xun!" Yang Ke interrupted Ye Xun's thoughts, "Dai Qiang is counting on you!"
“Okay!” Ye Xun said, but she knew that the burden on her shoulders was not something she could easily put down. It was not simply a burden on one person's shoulders, but a shared burden for several people.
Ye Xun paced back and forth in her bedroom for a long time before finally making up her mind. She took out her phone and dialed a number. The standby tone came through the receiver, and Ye Xun waited anxiously and fearfully. Suddenly, the dormitory phone rang. Ye Xun was startled by the unexpected sound. She hesitated for a moment, then turned off her phone and picked it up.
As soon as Tong Tong entered the dormitory, she smelled a pungent odor of alcohol and couldn't help but cover her nose with her hand. Ye Xun was asleep on the bed, her face flushed and haggard from the alcohol.
"This must be their celebration!" Tong Tong thought to herself.
Tong Tong sighed and went to the balcony. She looked up at the wind chimes above. The chimes were bound by ropes, swaying their heavy bodies occasionally in the wind, but making no sound. They had completely lost their former joy, only the pain of being bound remained. Tong Tong wanted to reach out and untie the knot, but her hand stopped halfway up. It hung in the air for a long time before finally falling back down. Looking at the couples below, Tong Tong gently bit her lip, which gradually lost its color and turned pale under the pressure of her teeth…
“No matter what a person’s love is like, perhaps the first thing they should know is who they love; how pathetic it is if a person only knows how to imagine love every day, but doesn’t even know who the person they love most is!” Tong Tong muttered to herself, gave a bitter smile, and continued, “But isn’t it even more pathetic if one only knows who the person they love is, but knows nothing about love itself?”
Tong Tong gently pulled open the drawer and took out a sticker. It was a photo booth picture she and Yang Ke had taken on the first day of summer vacation. Tong Tong treasured them like her own life, thinking they would become a testament to her and Yang Ke's relationship, something forever worth cherishing. But now, they were still just pictures, an unrealistic dream. Tong Tong held the stickers between her fingers, closed her eyes, and tried to tear them all up, but her fingers trembled, and she couldn't bring herself to do it. Finally, tears streamed down her face, and a low sob rose in her throat, painful and almost suffocating.
Ye Xun lay on the bed, quietly watching Tong Tong's every move. She closed her eyes, unable to bear it any longer, tears streaming down her face. She covered her mouth with the blanket, desperately trying to control her voice. Ye Xun knew she couldn't disturb Tong Tong any longer; she was already hurt and couldn't withstand any more blows. Ye Xun also knew she was about to make a choice, a choice she desperately wanted to avoid but could never escape.
It was early winter, but the bamboo forest still displayed vigorous vitality. The bamboo stalks were straight, the leaves lush, showing no signs of approaching winter; it was as if it were still the height of summer, a season of abundant growth. Ye Xun sat on a stone bench in the bamboo forest, the cool air making her shiver slightly, but it also cleared her mind. Yang Ke walked into the bamboo forest, a smile still on his face, still immersed in his dreams of happiness.
"Ye Xun, I've already talked to Tong Tong!" Yang Ke said. "What surprises me is that she doesn't seem sad at all. Maybe we've all misunderstood her!"
"Is that so?" Ye Xun said softly. Tong Tong's crying face was still flashing before her eyes, and every time it appeared, it made her feel that she was too selfish, like a criminal.
"How's it going with Dai Qiang? Did you talk to him? Did he agree?" Yang Ke asked a series of questions.
"Yang Ke, I think we've both misunderstood each other!" Ye Xun said. "So, I want to have a proper talk with you today, and I think we should clear up this misunderstanding!"
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Chapter 34 A Reluctant Fairy Tale
Updated: 2008-07-02 21:44:24 Words: 0
"Misunderstanding?" Yang Ke asked, puzzled. He didn't know why Ye Xun would say that word, or what it meant.
"I used to think I liked you, but that's not true!" Ye Xun said. "I've thought about it carefully, and I should go back to Dai Qiang!"
"Why?" Yang Ke shouted in disbelief. "What happened? Didn't we agree on everything yesterday?"
"Yang Ke, those are all unrealistic!" Ye Xun said. "I'm sorry, I was confused at the time and didn't think things through. Now I finally understand, the one I truly love isn't you, but Dai Qiang!"
"Ye Xun, I've always wanted to tell you, what you feel for Dai Qiang isn't true love, it's just a sense of responsibility!" Yang Ke said. "It's the responsibility between friends, the responsibility between family!"
"Doesn't love require a sense of responsibility?" Ye Xun countered.
“But a sense of responsibility alone cannot be considered love!” Yang Ke shouted.
"You're not me, how do you know that my feelings for Dai Qiang are only a sense of responsibility?" Ye Xun retorted loudly. "We've only known each other for a few months, while I've known Dai Qiang for twelve years. My feelings for Dai Qiang are much deeper!"
"Ye Xun, why are you deceiving yourself?" Yang Ke asked.
"I haven't deceived anyone!" Ye Xun said. "What makes you say that?"
"Ye Xun, don't you know? I'm the one you've truly been waiting for!" Yang Ke said. "Why do we always end up together? Online, in class, at Tianyi Hall, in the supermarket, even in this world! Isn't that enough?"
Ye Xun didn't know how to answer. She knew better than anyone who she should be waiting for.
"Yang Ke, do you remember the story we told about the banknote and the person?" Ye Xun said. "If you can find the banknote that represents me, I will leave Dai Qiang and come back to you; if you can't find it, then next time we meet, let's just pass each other like strangers, okay?"
Yang Ke didn't know how to answer, and Ye Xun didn't give him a chance to answer either. Ye Xun left after she finished speaking. She was afraid that she would let Dai Qiang down because of her regret—the person who truly loved her, the person she had relied on for twelve years, and the person who needed her the most at this moment.
Ye Xun recalled the phone call from last night. It was her mother calling, urging Ye Xun to return as soon as possible.
"Dai Qiang is in trouble!" Ye Xun's mother said. "I know you two grew up together. I wanted you to come back and comfort Dai Qiang. I've been through your age, and I know this child needs you right now!"
Ye Xun simply couldn't believe it. She finally understood why Dai Qiang had called her with that strange question. She had guessed everything correctly. Dai Qiang was in trouble, and he wanted to break up with her because he didn't want to be a burden to her; he wanted her to find her own happiness. Ye Xun couldn't quite believe the scene when Dai Qiang called her—he was lying in a hospital bed, enduring immense pain, tears streaming down his face as he comforted her, enduring immense suffering as he abandoned his lover, letting her go to find her own path…
Moreover, Dai Qiang was not the only one suffering immense pain; Tong Tong was also a victim. They were all suffering because of their choices. Ye Xun felt that her happiness was entirely built on the suffering of others, a fact she could not accept. Ye Xun felt that she was too selfish; she felt like a sinner, immoral.
The phone rang. Ye Xun glanced at the number; it was Dai Qiang calling. She wanted to avoid the call, but she knew she couldn't. In life, there are many things you have to face head-on, whether you choose to or not, but the outcome is always the same—you can't escape them.
"Ye Xun, have you thought this through?" Dai Qiang asked. "I think you should know your choice. Let's break up! Let's not hold each other back anymore!"
"Why?" Ye Xun asked. "Dai Qiang, why do you think that?"
“Ye Xun, we were actually wrong from the start!” Dai Qiang said. “Two months ago, when I asked to reconcile, I thought I had finally moved on from my mistakes, but the opposite is true. I’ve actually entered the wrong territory. So, today we should face everything anew. You have choices, and I have my own destiny!”
"Dai Qiang, I think you must have misunderstood. Yang Ke doesn't like me at all, but Tong Tong!"
"No!" Dai Qiang said firmly. "I've known Yang Ke for so long, I know him. He loves you, and I shouldn't stand in your way!"
“Judgment can always be wrong!” Ye Xun said. “How often has this happened among us?” Ye Xun said.
Dai Qiang was silent for a while, then said, "Ye Xun, I just hope you can truly face yourself. Maybe you will regret it in the near future, and you will only be more miserable then!"
“How could that be? Everyone should shoulder the burdens of their destiny, shouldn’t they?” Ye Xun said. “Dai Qiang, stop overthinking. Didn’t we used to be happy together? This kind of life is about to start again. I’ll be leaving campus for Beijing next week!”
"Ye Xun!" Dai Qiang said, "No matter which choice you make, I will still support you!"
Ye Xun walked slowly through the campus. It was a cold winter, the wind much fiercer than in previous years. Fallen leaves danced in the air, and Ye Xun let these withered lives hang and sway around her, filled with a deep attachment to this place. A piece of paper drifted from afar and landed at her feet, its movement halted by the fallen leaves. Ye Xun bent down and gently picked it up, but she was immediately stunned by its contents. It was a poster, its content simple yet peculiar: the poster asked the owner to find a 20-yuan banknote with the code YX19840521. Tears welled up in Ye Xun's eyes as she looked at the posters. She looked up; the long campus wall was covered with such posters, a vast expanse of white, like a winter snowfall. Ye Xun knew Yang Ke would never find this banknote, because it was right there in her pocket.
"Yang Ke, you may never imagine that the person you've been searching for all over the world is actually right beside you!" Ye Xun murmured. "We're all equally foolish. We both know how to choose, yet we can't choose!"
In the courtyard of the kindergarten in front of Tianyi Hall, there was a small donation box. Ye Xun took out the banknote and gently put it into the box. Then, she was surrounded by several children and led to the classroom to watch a movie. This was a fundraising method devised by these innocent children: every donor could come to the classroom and watch an animated film with them.
Today's animated film is *Sleeping Beauty*, a beautiful fairy tale that Ye Xun will never forget. Ye Xun started crying from the very beginning of the film; she shed countless tears for this comedic movie. Ye Xun still remembers what Yang Ke said to her: "As long as you safely overcome the twelfth wizard's curse, everything will be alright! Just wait patiently, and your prince charming will surely appear. Perhaps he's right below your castle, just waiting to come in and awaken you!"
Now her Prince Charming has arrived at her castle, but she has closed the castle gates, refusing to let him rescue her from her suffering. Ye Xun finally understands that fairy tales are just fairy tales, while life is life. On the Yangtze River Bridge, Ye Xun also told Yang Ke that life isn't just about walking, but also about sailing through life with imagination. Perhaps she had imagined too much in the past, so now that she's walking on foot again, the pain is unbearable.
"Sister, what's wrong?" a little girl asked, looking at the tears in Ye Xun's eyes.
"It's nothing, I was just thinking about some things!" Ye Xun said with a smile, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
"So, sister, did you like today's movie?" the little girl asked.
"Of course I love it! This is my favorite movie of all time!" Ye Xun said. "Thank you for watching the movie with me. Let me teach you a little game!"
Ye Xun closed her eyes and stretched out her two index fingers, trying to bring them together from a distance, but she couldn't manage it no matter how many times she tried. The children all imitated Ye Xun, and their laughter grew louder and louder, echoing in Ye Xun's ears. She couldn't hold back her tears any longer.
These children wouldn't understand the meaning of this game, but Ye Xun knew clearly: in life, two people are destined to be drawn together. Perhaps they will go their separate ways, perhaps they will miss each other, even a collision might just be a fleeting encounter… Like the stars in the sky, very few stars collide. If you are one of them, once you do collide, cherish the sparks that ignite between you. Perhaps it will ignite a friendship, perhaps it will…
Ye Xun glanced at the donation box in the yard and knew she had already given up.
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Chapter 35 Unrequited Love and Bitter Longing
Updated: 2008-07-03 07:02:26 Words: 0
Yang Ke was listening intently to the English audio through his headphones when he suddenly noticed the label on the cassette tape. It was written in clear, neat pen. Yang Ke froze; the English readings instantly turned into a silent monotone in his mind, making it impossible for him to distinguish the audio anymore.
Yang Ke looked up at the large characters on the wall: "No dating in college!" Months of time had turned the white paper a pale yellow, and the central "no," after all the wear and tear, began to tremble on the wall, shaking in the wind, seemingly on the verge of falling. Yang Ke knew it couldn't stay there much longer; it was too fragile. It might silently fall at any moment, and its life would lose its meaning then.
Yang Ke could no longer immerse himself in the sea of books. He put down the book, opened the door, and went out.
Tong Tong walked down from the rooftop. She quietly watched Yang Ke descend the stairs, then watched him disappear into the street from the stairwell window. Tong Tong didn't know what she was thinking; she knew there was pain in her heart, perhaps for Yang Ke, or perhaps for herself. She took out her key, unlocked the door, and went inside. Tong Tong hadn't stepped into this apartment in a long time. She felt a great distance had grown between her and Yang Ke, a distance that would never be bridged. This apartment was no longer her vibrant space, no longer the world where she found happiness.
The house was still furnished the same as before, which made Tong Tong involuntarily think of every moment she had spent there. Back then, they were completely unaware of sadness and pain, but things were different now. Tong Tong couldn't quite understand why; perhaps it was because they had truly grown up and truly understood many things they hadn't before. Tong Tong gently opened Yang Ke's drawer. She remembered the first time she found that bracelet in Yang Ke's drawer; at that time, she felt a mixture of joy, resentment, and jealousy.
Some of the empty drawers no longer held the bracelet, but in the corner sat a picture frame. Tong Tong gently took it out. On the back of the frame were the words: "Family Portrait, Made on August 30th." Inside the frame was a composite photo: Yang Ke, Ye Xun, a kitten, and a white mouse. The happy expressions on Ye Xun and Yang Ke's faces filled Tong Tong with envy, but she knew clearly the feelings between them, and knew she couldn't resist them. This undoubtedly intensified her sense of loss, making her feel as if she couldn't find a place for herself in this world.
Yang Ke walked through the campus. The posters he had put up were still there, each one trembling in the wind, sending a chill down his spine in this increasingly cold season. Looking at them, Yang Ke felt his body tremble and shake. Yang Ke knew he could never fulfill Ye Xun's request, but he had still foolishly done it anyway, and the result was just as he had feared—he gained nothing.
Yang Ke thought that he himself might not be the prince charming Ye Xun had been waiting for. He was just one of many princes, at most able to look out from the castle but never able to enter and awaken the sleeping princess. Like the others, he was a victim of magic, a stepping stone for the future prince charming, merely a supporting character in a play.
Thinking of all this, Yang Ke felt a chill in his heart, but he was still unwilling to give up in such a fate. He wanted to continue struggling through the thorns until he could successfully enter the castle.
Ye Xun woke up and sat up in bed. The once still world immediately began to spin in her mind. She covered her head and fell back onto the bed.
The sound of Ye Xun getting up startled Tong Tong, who rushed over to help her. However, the stubborn Ye Xun insisted on walking alone, so Tong Tong had no choice but to let her sway and move around the room by herself.
"Ye Xun, you should rest a bit more!" Tong Tong advised from the side.
"It's nothing!" Ye Xun said. "I want to go for a walk!"
Ye Xun went out onto the balcony and buried her face in the icy water. The piercing pain instantly brought her back to her senses. Ye Xun closed her eyes, held her breath, and stayed underwater for a long time before finally lifting her head out.
"Ye Xun, let's all go out and have fun tonight!" Tong Tong said. "Today is the last day of 2005, and tomorrow will be a new year!"
Ye Xun nodded and asked, "Is there anywhere we can go?"
"Let's go to the masquerade ball! It's lively there, and we can relax a bit!" Tong Tong said.
“Okay!” Ye Xun said. Actually, no place meant anything to her anymore. Tomorrow—the first day of the new year—she would be leaving for Beijing. Just like the first day of the new year, everything was new.
"Ye Xun, tell Yang Ke when you leave tomorrow, and ask him to see you off too!" Tong Tong said. "Or, let's all get together tonight; you haven't seen each other in a long time, have you?"
"Thank you, Tong Tong!" Ye Xun said, "I think we should forget about it. I know you like Yang Ke, why don't you ask him to go out with you? I'll just spend this night quietly!"
As Ye Xun was about to leave, Tong Tong called her back. She turned around and looked at Tong Tong with a puzzled expression.
"Ye Xun, I know you like Yang Ke!" Tong Tong said, "But why have you been so unhappy these past few days? Even with Yang Ke?"
"Tong Tong, I think you must have misunderstood!" Ye Xun said. "Didn't I tell you not to believe the rumors? There's absolutely nothing between Yang Ke and me!"
"Ye Xun, I know you're doing this for my own good!" Tong Tong said. "These past few days you've been crying in your dreams and keep calling Yang Ke's name!"
Ye Xun was stunned. She had been suppressing her feelings, but Tong Tong still found out.
“Actually, I knew a long time ago. I even started thinking of ways to stop you two from getting together during summer vacation, but I still couldn’t beat you!” Tong Tong said. “Remember when I bought Yang Ke a book? I saw it all that night, I saw everything, on the campus path, in front of the water bar!”
Ye Xun was stunned. Everything she had done was to suffer in silence so as not to hurt anyone, but now? No one had escaped the cycle of pain.