Чистая вода и прекрасные горы

Глава 124

He chuckled, "Who was it that sent the tomb of the Central Plains emperor to your palace? Have you forgotten that you personally hosted a banquet for us?"

I rubbed my head. "There were so many people there, and... I wasn't really paying attention. I was careless."

His eyes flickered, and he suddenly smiled mischievously, pinching my lips with one hand. "Your regal bearing is quite captivating. I couldn't help but glance at you a few more times. I can't help it; I'm naturally drawn to beautiful women, especially... such stunning looks. One glance is enough to make me forget you."

I suddenly sighed, "If I leave, will he be happy?"

"He should be grateful that he met a woman who truly loves him, not someone after... his status and power. My sister always thought Lu Li was a retainer under my command. Isn't this what love is? It's pure..."

“Am I corrupt?” I stared at him, my smile slowly fading. “You also think I’m just a person who only cares about vanity and status. Indeed, if he hadn’t been the illustrious Prince Ning, we would be strangers now. It’s not just me who’s corrupt and hypocritical… He never trusted me once. Maybe he had feelings for me, but did he ever truly believe me? If he believed me, he wouldn’t have fooled me like a fool for so long.”

"Why don't you ask me... why Lu Li didn't die, and why he stayed in Liao?"

"If he wanted me to know... he wouldn't have lied to me in the first place. Since he doesn't want me to know, I have no interest in knowing."

"You two are truly an inexplicable couple." Xiao sighed. "You're both willing to give everything for each other, yet you're unwilling to stay together like ordinary couples."

"Then why do you think that is?"

Xiao looked disdainful. "You're too shrewd, woman, and you've had too many romantic affairs. I can't judge you. But... let me tell you a story first."

"I'm all ears."

"In the past, there was a man who was outstanding in appearance, learning, and martial arts. He was even good in bed. Otherwise, he would have had a concubine at the age of fourteen and become a father at the age of fifteen."

"Fine, fine—just get to the point." I tapped the table in front of him, clearly dissatisfied with his "frankness."

"Okay, then. Logically speaking, what kind of woman wouldn't a man like that find? If it were me, I would have brought them home by the truckload."

"Can you say something serious?"

"A political marriage bound him and a woman together. After the marriage, things were peaceful and they treated each other with respect, until the man used the woman and her father to achieve his goals... and he was forced to kill his father-in-law and his wife's entire family. Later, the woman was murdered, and the man was devastated for a long time... until... he found her... but he didn't expose her... The woman schemed and plotted to avenge her family and complete her family's mission, and her foolish husband just let her do as she pleased, as long as he could still protect her."

My heart skipped a beat, and I suddenly remembered those tangled memories from before. "What does this matter?"

"Don't interrupt me." Xiao glared at him. "Later, the man almost died for his country, so of course he was remembered by me, the brave and valiant, righteous and chivalrous, who upheld justice..."

"Alright, enough with the fluff."

"In short, I saved him. He was severely injured and hovered between life and death for half a year. The first thing he said when he woke up was to return to the palace. But do you think the Liao Dynasty would allow an emperor of an enemy state, whose throne had already been erected and whose shrine was built, to be resurrected and even return to power? I'm afraid he wouldn't even have left the capital before he was lost! Later, news kept coming in that the woman was managing his empire very well, which put his mind at ease. He always praised his woman to me, saying how capable and extraordinary she was. But when the woman actually came to find him, he was inexplicably frightened and hid, afraid that she would cause trouble or do something rash... So he asked me to bring her into his residence. I finally managed to bring her in and let them have sex. That night was incredibly passionate. But this man always had reservations, and I don't know what made him afraid. At least when you are the empress in the palace, no one dares to harm you, but it's different in the Liao Dynasty, where there are spies everywhere. This time... I think he has been hiding something from you..."

"Did he never think about going back?"

Xiao looked at me and suddenly smiled. "I've asked him this question for a long time, but he never answers. Maybe... this is his way of protecting someone. When he is determined to build the safest barrier in the world for someone, he is certain that his emotions can no longer control his steps."

"Does he still have unfinished business?"

“It seems so.” Xiao sniffed. “You’ve been married to him for so many years and you still haven’t figured out his temper, let alone me? You look at him and you can’t see a trace of emotion. His words have no tone. Even a casual glance from him makes you wonder if he’s a real person. That’s just the kind of person he is. No one can understand him except himself. That’s why you keep thinking that he doesn’t trust you.”

Chapter Ten: Standoff

Fengge was located in the airtight backyard of the Prince's mansion. After hesitating for a moment, I lifted the curtain on the inner room. (All the doors and windows inside were covered with leather curtains, but the room wasn't dark.) I quietly went in, walked around the white jade screen at the entrance, and saw Lu Li sitting at his desk, writing something.

He pressed his hand to his chest, coughed lightly a few times, picked up the warm tea beside him, took a sip, and then put it back.

I took a deep breath and suddenly raised my voice: "Are you there?"

With a "snap," the brush fell from his fingers, ruining a perfectly good piece of calligraphy. He slightly raised his head, looked at me, and remained silent.

“I have something to say… You didn’t say a single wrong word about me today…” I frowned slightly, looking into his silent eyes.

He picked up a new brush, dipped it in ink, and began to write. He removed the old Xuan paper and replaced it with a new one, holding the brush firmly in his hand.

I turned my head away, trying not to look at him. "You know, my husband has been gone for three years. He really was an irresponsible man. When he was alive, I was treated worse than a concubine. I had to compete with his concubines, fight with him, arrange his marriages, and set up his whole family. That bastard never even said thank you. After all these years of marriage, I've never walked down the street with him, never asked him for anything, and never even had a chance to say that I cared about him."

A moment of silence followed, then I smiled slightly. "And then he just left, seemingly leaving me a considerable reward. I used to think all I wanted was that title, the power to command respect, to protect my family, to command awe across the land. But now, as I stand before him on the throne in the Chaoyang Palace, his coffin before me, I suddenly realize that everything I fought for wasn't beneath my feet, but that place in his heart. That fool… Didn't he know he couldn't leave so easily if I hadn't said those words? He died without understanding what I truly wanted! He was truly confused. The most difficult yet also…" The most precious thing is trust, the most difficult and true thing is unwavering loyalty. What does he have?! So clever! He thinks he can single-handedly protect me from danger, or shield me from the wind and rain?! In reality, he can do nothing. His concern for the people is nothing but cowardice; his supposed foresight is nothing but weakness and settling for second best! Does he even remember that he is a husband, a father, the head of a family, and the ruler of a nation?! I abandoned the pain of losing my family for him, betrayed my clan for him, and did everything in my power to protect his throne and his kingdom. I did so much for him, yet he can't even repay me with a vow of life and death!

Ink dripped from the brush in his hand, staining the rice paper, and he was unable to write a single word!

"He should at least know that I have never regretted marrying him. No matter how difficult it was, he is my husband, the one I will share life and death with and support through thick and thin. I also want to know if he regrets marrying me."

He looked up blankly, his eyes deep and unfathomable. His gaze told me he was in great pain. What could possibly cause him such agony? Could it be more painful than mine? Just seeing him makes me feel suffocated with pain.

No answer?! Could he really remain silent like this?! The eyes standing before him once again avoided mine. Involuntarily, I gently embraced his neck, slowly lowered my head, and softly kissed him. My hands, still trembling, held his neck, and tears streamed down my cheeks… I never knew that kissing someone could bring me to tears. It was truly him, not someone else, so familiar yet so strange… The bitter taste, the breath on his lips, made me unable to hold back my tears.

Why such melancholy? Why such bitterness? What is it that your silence and your unwavering resolve are trying to say...?

He closed his eyes as if he would never look at me again.

The stillness was suffocating; the early summer wind was bone-chillingly cold. A very, very long time passed.

"Do those three words you once said still count? If not, I'll pretend I never heard them! But... I think you know the consequences better than I do."

I looked up, my words already cold. I'm not a sentimental or clingy woman. If you can't even give me a promise, what right do I have to ask for deep affection?!

"I'll wait for an answer, whether it's yes or no! Until then, you can't drive me away, no matter what's in your heart!" Wiping away the tears on her cheek, her previous tenderness vanished instantly. She only uttered those words fiercely, then pushed him to his feet and turned to walk away.

"Why don't you just die?! It's... infuriating..."

What I've never wanted is someone who will shield me from all harm and protect me from the storms of life; all I want is someone who will stay by my side even on the road to the underworld!

——————————————————————Little Li, still in a daze———————————

The man at the desk sat for a long time before coming to his senses. He placed a hand lightly to his lips, lingering there, seemingly savoring the sweet taste of the moment. A faint smile appeared in his eyes, and finally, a hint of emotion stirred. He had only used a few words of persuasion, and before he could even surrender, this formidable woman had already revealed her true colors? Her parting words were certainly sharp; if she really made a scene, would he be able to stop her?! He had wanted to say some harsh words, to coax and trick her into going back, but the harsh words he had spoken the day before were now causing him pain.

He knew she wouldn't be doing much better. But as the words were on the tip of his tongue, he suddenly became confused. This woman always had a knack for getting back at him! As for regret, even if he had thought about it before, he certainly wouldn't dare say it!

The man stood up by the window. His relaxed affection suddenly turned heavy again. Even though he was reluctant, he really wanted her to leave. He didn't want her to stay even for a moment longer. She was still hanging around in front of him. He didn't know if he would regret not being ruthless enough to send her away today!

——————————————————————A place teeming with hidden talents————————————————

With nothing to do, I set up a chessboard and invited Lu Xiu to play a few games. But I eventually got bored and scrambled the pieces.

"You're really not leaving?" Lu Xiu reached out and snatched the horn paste from my hand, finishing it off rather unsightly in one swift motion.

"I only used one of those three tricks: crying, making a scene, and threatening suicide," I said, taking a big bite out of the pastry in my hand. "Wouldn't it be letting him off easy if I left now?"

"He won't turn back until he hits a brick wall," he scoffed.

When did you find out that the dead man was still alive?

"If he hadn't suddenly appeared the day you were poisoned, I would have been the one to cure you!" There seemed to be a hint of resentment and regret in his voice.

"How boring! She finally manages to have an affair again, but it's still in her own house!"

"I heard that Xiao Qin really likes Seventh Brother."

"Mmm," I said, taking a bite of pastry. "This little girl has good taste, just like me. It's a pity she doesn't have the chance anymore."

"Is scaring her away your top priority right now?" Lu Li glanced at the black pieces on the chessboard and couldn't help but frown. "Is it worth arguing with a little girl?"

"You have to hear those three words!" I completely ignored his words, lost in my own emotions, and vaguely turned to look at Lu Xiu, "What did you just say?"

"If I said those three words, would you care just as much?" For the first time, his mischievous smile vanished, and he looked at my calm face.

I paused for a moment, then shook my head. "Don't say it. I never want to hear you say that I can't continue to take advantage of you with a clear conscience!"

Lu Xiu gave a hasty laugh. "Zhaozhi—did you ever like me?"

He still asked, even though he already knew the answer. This shows how heartbroken he was. He wouldn't have asked so easily unless he was completely devastated. He rarely called me Zhaozhi, so when he uttered those two words, I already knew what awaited me. I just hadn't expected him to be so cautious, afraid to ask "I liked you," only saying "I liked you."

As I watched Lu Xiu grow increasingly dazed, I couldn't help but whisper, "Returning the pearl with tears streaming down my face, why didn't we meet before I was married?"

Lu Xiu, I like you. Not just in the past, but always. The same feeling I have for you being happier than me.

He gazed intently at me, murmuring a wistful thought, "Why didn't we meet... before I was married..."

He still wore a smile, a smile exceptionally clean and refreshing, reassuring me. I turned to look at Lu Xiu. Three years—no one could have imagined that he would actually stay by my side for three years. In those three years, I was no longer the woman who lived on hatred, nor the unruly empress who toyed with him at will. I had become clear-headed, and had been a mother for many years. Many times, he taught me more about letting go of hatred, more about finding peace.

How could I not have noticed? He always tried to stand as close to me as possible, and he was always the first to rush in when there was danger. He was unusually doting on Xi'er, even more so than on me.

He taught me not to hate, he taught me to face life with a smile, he never called me "Empress", his gaze towards me held too many emotions, but I knew that all these emotions came to an abrupt end the moment he suddenly discovered that Lu Li was still alive. He respected his seventh brother so much!

Over the past three years, spending every day with him felt like even longer than being with Lu Li. We built an unspoken understanding that most people couldn't imagine. How could I not have noticed? I loved seeing him, loved his smile. With him by my side, I felt at peace. Seeing him smile brought comfort, even in the deepest pain. I've been confused many times, but now I can see myself clearly—more clearly than ever before. My desire for his happiness is stronger than ever. When your wish for someone's happiness outweighs your own, it must be because you truly care for them. Lu Xiu is the only one who deserves the word "happiness." He deserves it more than any of us.

"With just those words from you, I've made it all worthwhile!" Lu Xiu stood up. "Actually, no matter what you say, I have no regrets."

I watched his figure gradually disappear before my eyes, and the scenery around me, along with everything else, ceased to be real. Perhaps it was too beautiful, so beautiful that it felt like a distant yet vivid dream.

Chapter Eleven: The Man Behind the Scenes

As I woke up, the sunlight streamed in peacefully, and the early summer breeze still rose early. Walking around the backyard, I looked at the slender figure under the poplar tree. I had completely forgotten that he had a habit of waking up early; every time he woke up, he would stay quietly in the yard for a while, needing no one to approach him.

I walked over quietly, but he still noticed me. He frowned slightly and turned around, his brows relaxing a little when he saw me.

I smiled slightly and said, "Good morning."

"You don't usually get up that early," he said indifferently, his voice betraying no sign of anything amiss.

I turned my head and looked at the lotus flowers in the pond, glistening with dew. "I wasn't asleep."

Let's take a walk.

"Okay," I replied.

The courtyard was so quiet in the early morning that even our mismatched steps were easily noticeable; it was as if I was deliberately walking differently from him.

"When I was a child, I would take walks with my mother in the early morning," Lu Li said casually.

"aunt?!"

"Yes, she would say something each time, and I always keep those words in mind, thinking about them in my spare time."

"My aunt is an extraordinary woman."

"My mother always mentions her hometown, saying that there is a river there called Ranjiang, which is the clearest river in the world. My mother says that if a person can meet someone so pure in their lifetime, it is a rare blessing. That's why I like the Eighth Prince; I like his purity."

I smiled and said, "But you just happened to marry a woman who is far too complicated."

He paused, then smiled. "Yes, it's also because of me that things have become increasingly difficult for her."

I stopped and looked at his profile. "So it turns out we can actually exchange a few words even without arguing."

You seem to be in a particularly good mood today.

"Yes," I surprisingly smiled at him, "I think I've fallen for Lu Xiu, what should I do?!"

His steps slowed slightly, then resumed almost immediately. "He's fine."

I couldn't help but purse my lips. What kind of attitude was that? I quickly stepped forward and said, "Show me your stance."

"I remember you said it was too hard following me?!" This time he stopped in his tracks. "If there were an easy path in front of you, would you choose it?"

"If it were you, would you ditch me and go live your own easy life?"

"I'm never afraid of trouble," he replied skillfully.

"If I didn't choose the easy path, would you agree to erect a memorial arch for my chastity?" I want to be remembered in history, to be celebrated by future generations. I've endured so much hardship following you; at least satisfy my little vanity, right?