Коллекция Хироми

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Just as he was lost in thought, the door to the abbot's room creaked open. The young monk's face appeared from behind half of the door. He placed a bowl of rice, a pair of chopsticks, and a dish of cabbage and tofu on the threshold and said, "Please go back after you have your meal, it's getting late."

Jiang Boyu practically yelled, "I'm not leaving today until I see the abbot!" Before he finished speaking, the door slammed shut. Jiang Boyu sat down dejectedly on the threshold. He was indeed hungry—and smelling the aroma of food, he had no choice but to eat without thinking.

Dusk was falling. The majestic ancient temple, built during the day, gradually disappeared into thick shadows. Everything became eerie and terrifying. Jiang Boyu had long heard his mother say that temples were places with heavy yin energy, and that it was best for ordinary people not to live near temples. Moreover, Yungusi Temple even had a columbarium—a place specifically for storing ashes, where rituals for the deceased were also held—just thinking about it sent chills down the spines of ordinary people.

A few crows' cries pierced the desolate night sky. Jiang Boyu shrank his neck and stamped his feet, feeling colder and colder, and even tucked his hands into his sleeves.

According to Buddhist monastic rules, monks do not eat after noon. Of course, Jiang Boyu couldn't see anyone coming out of the abbot's room to eat. He waited, and waited, amidst the curious glances of the passing monks…

Before he knew it, it was already eight o'clock in the evening. Jiang Boyu heard the chanting of the monks during their evening prayers coming from the meditation hall, and dim lights dotted the surroundings—the nights here were hundreds of times quieter than in the city, so much so that Jiang Boyu almost fell asleep sitting on the doorstep for a moment.

When the door opened again, it was already ten o'clock at night. "Are you really going to wait all night? The abbot said he won't see you! Go on, hurry up," the young monk said expressionlessly.

Jiang Boyu grew anxious and made up his mind. "If the abbot refuses to see me, I will kneel here forever." As soon as he finished speaking, Jiang Boyu knelt down on the bluestone slab outside the room with a thud.

The young monk glanced at him indifferently and slammed the door shut.

Jiang Boyu's heart sank. In the moonlight, his shadow stretched long behind him. Later, even the chanting in the meditation hall could no longer be heard, and the few remaining lights began to go out silently one by one.

"Get up!" Jiang Boyu opened his eyes in a daze. He didn't know when Master Huineng was standing in front of him—Jiang Boyu had actually been kneeling on the ground and dozing off.

“Young man, come with me.” Master Huineng turned and stepped across the threshold. Jiang Boyu glanced at his watch as he stood up. The hour hand had just struck twelve.

His legs were so numb he had no feeling at all. He rested for a while before he could lift his feet and catch up.

"You're so devout in emulating 'standing in the snow outside Cheng's door,' yet you're not here to become a monk. What business do you have with me?" Master Huiming asked Jiang Boyu without turning his head as he walked ahead.

"I... I have psychological problems," Jiang Boyu said in a low voice.

“Oh? The Buddha said that the past mind is unattainable, the present mind is unattainable, and the future mind is unattainable. What problem is there?” Master Huiming seemed to be talking to himself. “Most of the troubles in the world are self-inflicted, and the seeds of Bodhi are severed by themselves.”

Jiang Boyu remained silent. To him, every word the abbot said was more sophisticated than what the old man who taught philosophy said, but also much more difficult to understand.

He followed the abbot into the main hall and sat down in the same seat as before. The young monk standing not far away seemed to smile at him—Jiang Boyu guessed that it was perhaps mocking his foolishness.

"I remember the Second Patriarch Shenguang seeking Dharma from Bodhidharma. Shenguang said he could never find peace of mind. Bodhidharma said, 'Bring me your mind, and I will put it at ease for you.' Thus, the Second Patriarch Shenguang attained complete enlightenment. It's not that the mind cannot find peace; it's that you've made arbitrary distinctions, unable to understand your mind and see your true nature." After saying this, Master Huiming saw that Jiang Boyu still had no reaction and shook his head, saying, "I wanted to enlighten him, but fate has decreed this, and I am powerless to help!"

Jiang Boyu sat there, feeling flustered. After thinking for a moment, he decided to get straight to the point. "Abbot, I just want, I just want you to explain the last two sentences to me. I don't want to continue suffering, nor do I want others to suffer because of me."

Master Huineng remained silent for a long while. He slowly said, "Do you remember? I told you that I had only seen two people draw this lot, and one of them was you."

Jiang Boyu quickly agreed. "Then, there's another person you don't know. But you can listen to her story. Perhaps it will be enlightening!" Master Huiming beckoned to the young monk, "Go and fetch that box."

“I’ll show you something! This world is like a dream, and those in the dream are still chasing dreams within dreams, unaware that they are still in a dream.” A hint of sorrow appeared on Master Huiming’s face.

The young monk carried over a walnut-colored box about a foot long and placed it respectfully on the table.

Master Huiming adjusted his sleeves and gently lifted the lid of the box. "Come and take a look."

Jiang Boyu stood up and moved to Master Huiming's side. What he saw nearly scared him out of his wits—inside the wooden box, on a yellow silk mat, lay a heart the size of two-thirds of a fist! Although Jiang Boyu had only recently studied systemic anatomy and had seen heart specimens before—those were always preserved in glass jars with preservatives—the specimens had long since turned a dull, grayish-brown color. They were nothing like the lifelike heart in this wooden box!

What was even more unexpected was that Master Huiming then calmly cupped the heart in his hands.

“This was left behind by another person who drew this lot,” Master Huiming said calmly. “However, it is a heart relic. It is also the most precious treasure of this temple! Outsiders know very little about it, and even if they do—there are no more than twenty people in the world who have seen this relic.”

Jiang Boyu steadied himself and realized it wasn't a fresh heart. It looked quite hard and was much smaller than a normal heart. But its appearance was incredibly lifelike—or rather, it was real, just hardened and dried. In Master Huiming's hands, it resembled a bright red agate, gleaming brilliantly under the light!

"Abbot, what is a relic?" Jiang Boyu asked with great interest.

Master Huiming carefully placed the heart relic back into the wooden box. “When eminent monks pass away and are cremated, their ashes usually contain crystals formed under high temperatures. There are often hundreds, sometimes only a dozen or so. These are called relics. But this heart relic—even I was seeing it for the first time back then. Therefore, it is extremely precious. It is the best proof that the Dharma is true and infallible!”

Jiang Boyu was stunned. "Then, whose master left this behind?"

Master Huiming returned to his seat. He said slowly, “It was left by my junior sister, Master Huiyue. Back then, she became a nun after drawing this lot, practiced for more than forty years, and left a vow before passing away at the age of sixty-five, saying, ‘I leave this heart to the world.’ When she was cremated, this heart rolled out of her ashes on its own.”

Jiang Boyu's heart was pounding. "Abbot, does this mean that everyone who draws this lot must become a monk?"

Master Huiming shook his head, turning the prayer beads in his hand. "That's not necessarily true! But those who draw this lot will surely keep a thought in their heart!"

Jiang Boyu felt his scalp tingle from listening, but he dared not disbelieve what Master Huiming said.

“However, even though both leave behind this sentiment, there are still differences. This divination slip doesn't distinguish between superior, middle, and inferior fortunes because it has a different name.” Master Huiming turned his head, staring intently at Jiang Boyu, and clearly uttered two words: “Heart, Killing!”

"Huh?!" Jiang Boyu exclaimed uncontrollably.

"This 'Heart Curse' is also the name of those four lines of ancient poetry. Drawing this divination slip is extremely unlucky, but extremely unlucky is also the same as extremely lucky. My junior sister achieved great success in her spiritual practice after becoming a nun, leaving behind a heart relic to enlighten people, which can be considered extremely lucky. However, extremely unlucky means that this person will definitely not leave this world normally, but will only die young, commit suicide, or die unjustly. Moreover, the evil energy is gathered in the heart—described in Buddhist scriptures as 'false karmic energy, accumulating in the heart. It seems to have a karmic appearance, but is falsely called the heart.'—preventing them from being reincarnated normally after death. Instead, they will fall into the 'intermediate state,' which is extremely terrifying."

A chill ran down Jiang Boyu's spine. "May I ask the abbot what the intermediate state is?" he pressed on, forcing himself to ask.

"According to esoteric Buddhist texts, the 'intermediate state' is actually composed of a very thin substance called the 'subtle five aggregates.' After a normal person dies, before entering the cycle of reincarnation, they will stay in the intermediate state for a short time, at most forty-nine days, which is what ordinary people call the seven periods, before entering any of the six realms."

"Abbot, is the intermediate state (bardo) really... terrifying?" Jiang Boyu asked in a hoarse voice.

Master Huiming's face showed worry. "It's more than just terrifying. If one remains trapped in the intermediate state (bardo) for a long time and cannot be reborn, according to Buddhist scriptures, they will be threatened by four great terrors. And their condition is actually very bad, far worse than we can imagine. The intermediate state has many kinds of terrors. For example, enormous sounds, terrifying hallucinations, a drifting, uncertain state, sensitivity to various lights, and so on. These terrors will scatter their mind. This scattered, painful, fearful, and terrified experience, in turn, will further intensify the accumulation of negative energy, forming a vicious cycle!" At this point, Master Huiming clasped his hands together and chanted, "Amitabha!"

Jiang Boyu's expression changed upon hearing this, and he couldn't help but sneak a couple more glances into the wooden box.

Master Huiming frowned slightly, his eyes half-closed, and continued speaking. The young monk beside him was probably hearing this for the first time and was listening intently. "Those with a 'heart-evil' destiny are often people with exceptionally sharp aptitude and profound wisdom. If they cultivate, they will surely achieve great things. However, due to different circumstances, they will choose different paths. Huiyue cultivated for many years, and after her passing, she will not enter the intermediate state (bardo)—hence, she was able to leave behind this sacred heart relic. If it were an ordinary person, after an unnatural death, the evil energy would be enough to keep their heart from dying and decaying for many years. The person would be in the 'intermediate state,' suffering greatly, just like—the purgatory described in Christianity!"

"But I... I love her so much! Abbot, I don't want to become a monk!" Jiang Boyu's fingers were intertwined in his hair, his face buried in his hands. "Is it really impossible for us? I mean—the girl you mentioned whose name contains the character 'red'? Are we really going to miss out?"

Tears still flow at midnight, a thousand knots in my heart adrift on the horizon. Amitabha!

Jiang Boyu slowly raised his head, his eyes already brimming with tears. "I understand, I understand. Was this fate?"

"Those who are loving and united will inevitably part ways—young man, these are the words of Buddha Shakyamuni before his passing. How much more so for those whose conditions have not yet brought them together."

Outside the courtyard, the moon and stars were few and far between. The moonlight, like water, spilled onto the crimson heart relic and Jiang Boyu's pale face.

Jiang Boyu stayed overnight at the temple. Master Huiming arranged a small room for him in the guest hall. The environment was quiet and peaceful, and he slept soundly. However, he was awakened by the sound of the monks gathering for morning prayers at around four o'clock the next morning and couldn't fall back asleep, so he simply got up and went for a walk around the temple.

On a crisp winter morning, the air at Yungu Temple was refreshingly clean, thanks to its distance from the city. The damp mist felt pleasantly refreshing on the face. The mountain fog was thick, and Jiang Boyu felt as if he were wandering in a celestial palace as he walked through the misty morning air. He wandered aimlessly, passing the Mahavira Hall, the Guanyin Pavilion, and the Ten Thousand Buddha Hall, before heading straight into the temple's backyard. The backyard was a forest of pagodas—the ashes of the cremated monks were buried here. It was densely packed with white pagodas of varying heights and sizes, appearing and disappearing in the swirling mist.

Suddenly, Jiang Boyu saw a person standing in front of a stupa about thirty or forty meters ahead. He was startled. "Who could it be so early?" Jiang Boyu wondered. The person stood with his back to Jiang Boyu, motionless, seemingly deep in thought. A few minutes later, he turned around, and Jiang Boyu almost cried out—it was Master Huiming! He panicked and quickly hid behind a stupa. Fortunately, Master Huiming didn't walk towards him but instead exited through a side path.

The moment Master Huiming turned around, Jiang Boyu saw that the abbot, who usually had a calm and serene expression, actually had a look of sorrow on his face!

Watching Master Huiming walk away, Jiang Boyu rushed over. Just as he had guessed—it was indeed Master Huiyue's stupa! The stone tablet in front of the stupa was engraved with Master Huiyue's birth and death dates, but the dates were recorded in the Buddhist calendar, so Jiang Boyu couldn't deduce the year Master Huiyue died. However, subtracting the numbers from the original figures gave him exactly sixty-five.

Jiang Boyu was filled with reverence. He clasped his hands together and bowed deeply three times towards the spirit tower. "The person inside this tower, like myself, drew the divination slip of the Heart's Curse, yet resolutely chose to abandon the path of worldly life. What made her make such a great decision?!" Jiang Boyu pondered silently before the tower.

After leaving the Pagoda Forest, Jiang Boyu returned to his guest room and stayed there for another half hour. After calming down, he prepared to go to the abbot's room to say goodbye to Master Huiming.

"Abbot, I am deeply grateful for your guidance. I... I should go back now," Jiang Boyu said softly, standing before Master Huiming. Not agreeing to the Master's request to become a monk made him feel ashamed, like a child who had made a mistake.

“If you can’t let go, then take on the responsibility!” Master Huiming sighed deeply.

"Carry it?"

"Yes, isn't living with equanimity better than being conflicted and suffering? Cherish life, love what you love, and live each day to the fullest. This is also the true essence of Buddhism! Where is the Buddha? The Buddha is in your every action, word, and deed!"

This insightful yet simple explanation deeply moved Jiang Boyu. He remained silent, standing with his hands at his sides.

"You went to Tallinn this morning, didn't you?"

Jiang Boyu was startled, not expecting that Master Huiming knew about this. "Although you are behind me, I can already sense you. Why hide?" Master Huiming's gaze was sharp, yet very kind.

"Yes, Abbot, I accidentally wandered in to take a look," Jiang Boyu answered honestly, forcing himself to speak.

“I think you also saw Master Huiyue’s stupa, and you must be wondering how I ended up there, right?” Master Huiming seemed to have seen through his thoughts.

Jiang Boyu nodded.

"It's alright to say this—though she was my junior sister and escaped the suffering of the Four Elements before me, she was the one I loved dearly when we were young and not yet ordained. After she drew this 'Heart's Curse,' she left me, shaved her head, and became a Buddhist nun. From then on, she devoted her life to the ancient lamp and the Buddha." Master Huiming spoke slowly, seemingly lost in distant memories. "Since she left, I have been deeply mired in the pain of missing her, and I have also hated her for being heartless and ungrateful. Later, with the guidance of a high monk, I came to Yungu Temple and became a monk. Now, she has left this Heart Relic to the world, and to me as well. It is also to enlighten the lovesick men and women of the world, to make them understand that life is like a dream, a bubble, and love and hate are like dew and lightning, and cannot be taken seriously!"

Jiang Boyu was stunned, his expression deeply moved. This was probably the most legendary love story he had ever heard.

"Before Huiyue passed away, she left a message saying that if anyone drew this fortune stick after her death, they should ask me to interpret it and show it to them as a heart relic, so as to help all sentient beings. But she said that she was afraid no one could leave behind a second heart relic! The power of the 'heart curse' is beyond the reach of ordinary people!"

"Abbot, I, I... I don't want to run away!" Jiang Boyu didn't know what to say for a moment, and blurted it out.

Master Huiming nodded. "You, go... Remember, never come looking for me again in this life. It's fate, otherwise it will bring you endless trouble. Fate brings us together and fate separates us; let's all do our best." Jiang Boyu heard Master Huiming emphasize the word "heart" particularly.

Jiang Boyu remained silent for a moment, then clasped his hands together, bowed deeply to Master Huiming, and left the main hall of the abbot's quarters. Just as he turned the corner of the corridor to exit, the young monk called out to him, "Please wait, benefactor! The abbot says he has something else to give you!"

Jiang Boyu was stunned. He had no choice but to turn back.

"Before Huiyue passed away, she left a handwritten instruction, asking me to give it to the person who drew this fortune stick. If you encounter any danger, you can give this instruction to your most beloved person for safekeeping. Perhaps it can even help to resolve any future misfortunes! If you want to see it, you can open it and take a look!"

Jiang Boyu received a rectangular envelope from Master Huiming and opened it with trembling hands. On the pale yellow Xuan paper were two lines written in small regular script with a brush: "Grass soaked in autumn frost, sorrow is about to descend; a person stands still on the boat, white sand gulls."

"Abbot, just these two sentences? This seems to be an ancient poem!" Jiang Boyu had thought it was some kind of talisman or something.

Master Huiming nodded slowly. "You don't need to ask any more questions, just do as I say."

"Abbot, I am too foolish to enter the Buddhist order. But, but I really can't see you again?"

“My benefactor, there is no difference between Buddha and sentient beings, nor between Bodhisattva and sentient beings. Although you can no longer see me, there are people around you who will enlighten you; it all depends on your understanding and the opportune moment. Buddha resides in your heart, and Bodhisattva is right before your eyes!”

Jiang Boyu stared blankly, his mouth slightly agape. "Someone's with me? Abbot, who could it be? Will they be with me?"

Master Huiming nodded slowly. "Indeed! The Diamond Sutra says: 'All forms are illusory. If one sees all forms as non-forms, then one sees the Tathagata!' Reflect on this carefully!"

Seeing that Jiang Boyu seemed to understand but not quite, Master Huiming sighed. "Tears still flow at midnight. Take care, benefactor! Amitabha!" With that, the Master put his hands together, stood up, and walked into the room.

Before leaving Yungusi Temple, Jiang Boyu arrived at the Guanyin Pavilion behind the Mahavira Hall. Here stands the largest and tallest bronze statue of the Thousand-Handed and Thousand-Eyed Guanyin in China, a famous attraction of Yungusi Temple.

The hall was empty except for a single monk who stood guard. Jiang Boyu slowly stepped inside. This Guanyin Pavilion was thirty-five meters high; one had to tilt their head back at a ninety-degree angle to see the coffered ceiling at the top. The statues were resplendent in gold and magnificent, exuding an extraordinary aura. Guanyin's thousand hands were outstretched like blooming lotuses, and her thousand eyes shone like countless stars, instantly inspiring awe and reverence.

Jiang Boyu knelt before the offering table. Head bowed, he silently prayed, "Merciful Guanyin Bodhisattva, if I am in trouble, I wish to give this heart to the one I love most! I only ask that she know! If I am in trouble, I do not want to run away; I am willing to bear all the pain and misfortune, as long as she can be happy! If I am in trouble, I… I will not regret it!" Jiang Boyu's throat tightened, and two lines of tears slid down his cheeks…

Then he slowly bent down and kowtowed.

A clear chime rang out. It was struck by the monk who had been standing silently to one side—in Buddhist rituals, this signifies that the Buddha and Bodhisattvas have heard the wishes made by the virtuous men and women!

To repay the 12,000 yuan Wang Danyang borrowed from him as quickly as possible, Jiang Boyu frantically searched for jobs in the newspaper every day. However, the number of part-time jobs available outside of school was pitifully small. He interviewed at several companies that offered part-time sales of pharmaceuticals and medical devices—but they not only required work experience but also proof of English proficiency (CET-4 or CET-6). All Jiang Boyu had was his medical school student ID to prove his identity; he had nothing else!

Unable to find a mentally demanding job, Jiang Boyu lowered his standards—he'd take any manual labor he could find! Less pay, less pay! Three days after returning from Yungusi Temple, he went for an interview at a logistics company that delivered fresh milk—Jiang Boyu was in good health and could ride a bicycle—and got the job without much trouble. The work hours were from 5:30 to 7:00 AM, delivering the day's milk to customers' doorsteps, earning twenty-five yuan a day.

Jiang Boyu calculated that he could earn more than a thousand yuan a month working in the student cafeteria and delivering milk. In a year, he could pay back all the money he owed Wang Danyang.

Jiang Boyu regained his ambition. Although the fortune-telling at Yungusi Temple had affected his mood, he gradually forgot about it over time. Now, so many things weighed on him—the various graduation exams he was about to face; he was a key player on the school football team and needed to participate in training; he worked part-time in the student cafeteria and delivered milk—his life suddenly became full and busy. Duan Youzhi laughed at him, calling him "a dragon whose head and tail are never seen"—every morning at 4:50, he had to get up, then ride his bicycle for twenty minutes to arrive at the logistics company before 5:20 to sign in, collect the milk, and then deliver it to each household according to the planned route and delivery orders. It was already quite an achievement to get back to school by 7:30. Most of the time, he asked Shen Wei to bring his textbooks directly to the classroom.

During his time working, Jiang Boyu either skipped breakfast or ate a little something when his second class ended at 9:30. He would review his lessons in the classroom at noon. After finishing his afternoon classes, he would continue working in the cafeteria until 6:30, and then rush to the study room or library at 7:00. By the time he returned to the dormitory under the stars and moon, Shen Wei and the others were already snoring away.

This is a structured university life, and everything seems fine! Although he's a bit tired from working long hours, Jiang Boyu, having weathered many storms, is eager to return to this safe, structured, and rational state.

Aside from love—he was eager to erase the word "love" from his mind!

He knew He Jihong had a boyfriend. Even after returning from Yungusi Temple, he saw the boy named Lei Ming more often, waiting for He Jihong to finish get off work at the cafeteria entrance at dusk. By then, he was much calmer—sometimes he would even give the much older boy a polite nod and smile. He Jihong had helped him so much, especially with finding Mayor Xia—which moved and shocked Jiang Boyu! She was so discreet; no one—including the school—had known she was the niece of the vice mayor. But on the other hand, it also made Jiang Boyu slowly realize how deep the gap was between them—in Chinese terms, they were not a good match!

He dared not desire anything more. He had learned to silently wish He Jihong well in his heart—that Lei Ming, the master's student, was quite impressive! He wore gold-rimmed glasses and looked refined and scholarly. He was highly educated, and his family background was probably not bad either. He and He Jihong looked harmonious and well-matched together—he could sometimes hear He Jihong humming "Right Here Waiting" softly while wiping the table, and at those times, her face radiated happiness!

Having figured this out, Jiang Boyu felt a sense of peace. Master Huiming's words had a subtle but profound influence—at least he no longer wanted to force things that weren't rightfully his!

There was only one thing Jiang Boyu wasn't sure about—whether he still loved her.

Even so, Jiang Boyu deliberately suppressed it to the deepest and most secret place in his heart—it's better for everyone this way!